Both need space ❤️❤️❤️ - Page 7

Originally posted by: tptwi

Asmi, again, much of what you are saying here goes back to his inability to look at situations from other people's perspectives- be it Sai or Pakhi...he gets engulfed in his own emotions, and his intentions have always been pure, so he has been unable to look past that. This has taken a deep toll on Sai, as this is the exact reason why he has not clarified anything to her- because in his mind, it should be crystal clear and there is no need to do so in the first place. All of these moments that you have mentioned between Virat and Pakhi- I agree were uncomfortable... but, again, I don't think it's fair to say that these were signs of an emotional affair nor relationship, because that implies that Virat was intentionally being disloyal to Sai...and to me, his commitment and dedication to Sai has never waivered.

See Pooja, like in above post quoting Nethraa I have mentioned, I dont call it intentional, but does not mean he was not. If I look at it being in that place, I see it as borderline emotional affair/relationship, unintentionally. There was no point him justifying things that he did to Pakhi , w.r.t. Sai. There are a lot of studies going on Emotional Affair that happens at all work places without people realising it is that, while they are it.. They call it friendship, while thats not the case..Has been very prominent one in the metro cities. I was amused to read the book , when I came across certain aspects of that relationship...I keep saying it was unintentional, but it was there. That's how underrated emotional affair is , because one does not realise it at all..

Plus like I say when you make certain waadas in such clear words, they need to be cleared in the same spasht words..But then thats another topic.

Originally posted by: tptwi

Asmi, his intent is being questioned on this thread yaar.... but anyways, I agree with much of what you and Nethraa are saying.

I am not questioning his intent.. I call it his ignorance and negligence in what he did during the whole Ladakh planning episodes, or while having chit chats with Pakhi at any given time.. That Virat's issue, he clears things in his head and assumes it would clear for everybody else with the jalebis he served.. He does not understand that people have different ways in which they perceive things..And he needs to be strictly clear and evident on things when he is revoking something, specially when he was so clear when he created these declarations.. Virat is mostly in his own guilt, hurt, pain.. He surrounds himself with that in moments of despair...That does not mean he is not a giver.. He is always a giver in any relationship.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

See Pooja, like in above post quoting Nethraa I have mentioned, I dont call it intentional, but does not mean he was not. If I look at it being in that place, I see it as borderline emotional affair/relationship, unintentionally. There was no point him justifying things that he did to Pakhi , w.r.t. Sai. There are a lot of studies going on Emotional Affair that happens at all work places without people realising it is that, while they are it.. They call it friendship, while thats not the case..Has been very prominent one in the metro cities. I was amused to read the book , when I came across certain aspects of that relationship...I keep saying it was unintentional, but it was there. That's how underrated emotional affair is , because one does not realise it at all..

Plus like I say when you make certain waadas in such clear words, they need to be cleared in the same spasht words..But then thats another topic.

@bolded: I completely agree with this. I have been saying the same thing for all of eternity and even mentioned it in a post within this thread 🤣

After reading all of your and Nethraa's posts, I have come to see that I am placing too much emphasis on his intentions, when yes, I agree that his actions have crossed the line. However, I still stand by the fact that his intentions do matter and have to count for at least something.....

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I am not questioning his intent.. I call it his ignorance and negligence in what he did during the whole Ladakh planning episodes, or while having chit chats with Pakhi at any given time.. That Virat's issue, he clears things in his head and assumes it would clear for everybody else with the jalebis he served.. He does not understand that people have different ways in which they perceive things..And he needs to strictly clear and evident on things when he revoking something, specially when he was so clear when he created these declaration.. Virat is mostly in his own guilt, hurt, pain.. He surrounds himself with that in moments of despair...That does not mean he is not a giver.. He is always a giver in any relationship.

You are not questioning his intent, but some of msin's posts made me think that she was. You can go back and read our interactions if you want. That is why I brought it up. I second everything you have said here. I said the same exact thing in a response to you in this thread...this is the crux of who Virat is. He cannot step outside of his own feelings, intentions, and perspective 😊

Originally posted by: Tali_99

My problem wirh Virat is everytime Pakhi insulted Sai he kept mum, be it in zillat arena or in their room. But the moment Sai spoke to defend herself and spoke up to Pakhi- he said Pakhi ke liya ek sabbd bhi nahi. What is a person to think when their spouse is willing to defend their bhabhi/ friend even when that said person is wrong. He feels obligated to defend a nonsense person's honour just because her husband is not their.

Pakhi ke izzat, izzat aur Sai ke izzat kutch nahi. 😔

Pakhi has an entire gange and Pakhi herself who I mind you is almost 10 yr older to Sai.

No doubt Virat cares about Sai and now lovers her too but he has to open his mouth in front of everyone and one in for all tell Pakhi to stop insulting Sai.

Given the recent fight they had It would be nice if noth wrote theit feels down

Yes all this has taken root in Sai’s mind so now even if he’s doing birthday party surprises and planning anniversary getaways.. she cannot shrug away the pakhi factor .. because see she was right Na .. when they came back pakhi could still question virat n Sai abd gang up the famiky for going on a secret trip .. infact ninad is changing .. subtly …he gently rebuked virat ..

If virat had been more clear to pakhi n Kaku and the family that’s he taking his wife for a holiday .. because they both deserve it abd he can afford it .. abd Tell clearly it is not his duty to take pakhi out anywhere.. she can find another friend .. he will sponsor their trip … considering how thick headed the Chavan famiky is .. some straight talk would have helped virat .. if he had started talking long ago from Ladakh trip fiascos ..

Sai does not want a hole in the corner relationship..

Originally posted by: tptwi

I agree with what you are saying. All in all, I am focusing on intentions and you are focusing on actions. So, yes, Virat did act uncomfortably soft towards Pakhi, and yes that was him crossing the line in one way or another. But, this was not due to malice, but rather because he himself did not see what he was doing as "wrong" since he was too engulfed in his own POV of having pure intentions. This, to me, has to count for at least something, because he has always been loyal to Sai. But, yes, of course I agree that all of this is very immature.

In terms of implying that Virat is a womanizer, that was being implied on this thread, which is why I mentioned it.... I have responded individually to those posts as well...

I'll speak for myself and say that I'm not questioning his morality at all. I'm not ascribing any malice on his part at all.

But his actions are so stupid that I cannot help but bash him. The same sense that told him that seeking out pakhi for companionship or comfort is equivalent to emotional affair should have also warned him that him acting on his feelings for pakhi is also ethically wrong.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

See Pooja, like in above post quoting Nethraa I have mentioned, I dont call it intentional, but does not mean he was not. If I look at it being in that place, I see it as borderline emotional affair/relationship, unintentionally. There was no point him justifying things that he did to Pakhi , w.r.t. Sai. There are a lot of studies going on Emotional Affair that happens at all work places without people realising it is that, while they are it.. They call it friendship, while thats not the case..Has been very prominent one in the metro cities. I was amused to read the book , when I came across certain aspects of that relationship...I keep saying it was unintentional, but it was there. That's how underrated emotional affair is , because one does not realise it at all..

Plus like I say when you make certain waadas in such clear words, they need to be cleared in the same spasht words..But then thats another topic.

Oh yes this is very much happening in professional spaces ..and it is getting murkier with one partner definetely getting hurt .. sometimes even destroying his personal life

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

I'll speak for myself and say that I'm not questioning his morality at all. I'm not ascribing any malice on his part at all.

But his actions are so stupid that I cannot help but bash him. The same sense that told him that seeking out pakhi for companionship or comfort is equivalent to emotional affair should have also warned him that him acting on his feelings for pakhi is also ethically wrong.

@bold: I know you are not yaar.... if you wish, you can go back and read what I am referring to 🤣

And I agree that his actions have been entirely stupid. I sound like a broken record, but it really does just go back to him being too engulfed in his own emotions to see anything beyond what is going on in his own heart.... it is a serious issue and can only be cured by therapy, but Vankar won't show us that because he is too busy spewing BS at us 😊 And me focusing on his intentions/the reason behind his actions should not absolve him of the culpability that he does have in this entire situation 👍🏼

Originally posted by: msin

Oh yes this is very much happening in professional spaces ..and it is getting murkier with one partner definetely getting hurt .. sometimes even destroying his personal life

Definitely. I'm reading a lot of articles these days about it.

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

I agree there, these were things that I could not ignore in any case! Keeping his intentions aside. His intent is true , benevolent and not malign is something that is established here, no one questions that. I dont even question his residual feelings for Pakhi while he was falling for Sai, its human and not intentional.. But then to say that he was not on two boats at that time would be something that I will not agree with...

If he had residual feelings for Pakhi and also started developing feelings for Sai...I'd still not call it as riding two boats...It is his actions that amount to "riding two boats".

Edit: He did err in his actions...which is why he is being called out