Both need space ❤️❤️❤️ - Page 15

Originally posted by: sadiltl

@bold

This we cannot blame him totally right. It is only human to behave in a way that doesnt hurt others. I still say he was over pakhi the moment she got married. But he knows she might be feeling bad so he 'considers' it and acts accordingly. It does not mean he had residual feelings for her. He has sympathy and guilt for sure...two best examples I can think of which says Virat is over pakhi atleast at romantic level.

1. He was NOT feeling an inch bad on their wedding night. Moreover he was worried why samrat was not in her room. All he talked about that night was how samrat could be a great husband to her. Only when She screamed ILU on phone he was pushed into guilt mode. He did not ponder over her call till the next day.

2. The night he brought sai home, and the terrace conversation with sunny. He wanted Sai to get the respect she deserves in his home. It meant long term. It was never a deal in his mind. He understands the rules of marriage. Also when he stopped Pakhi to ask her a favor, she expected something but Virat wanted her to guide sai so sai is accepted in the house.

These two incidents scream his state. He is over pakhi. But he stood by her as friend as he promised. the way he behaved with pakhi is because he understands her feelings and was 'considerate' of them.

Ok now coming to pyarosti slip up. It is a genuine out of control slip up. Damage is done due to it. But I think it is a slip up becuase, later he never expected sai to go and apologise pakhi. That night also, he was worried that he did not listen to sai when she excitedly came and talked about her results. His mind only revolved around Sai's words not about Sai talking about bringing pakhi back.

Long story short, VIrat had guilt, guilt that pakhi's life was stuck but no guilt that he married sai, at any moment. He was pretty sure of his decision on the morning of Sai's bungalow visit. He was just considerate for pakhi;s feeling which gave Sai wrong signals. May be he also knows Sai's metal state at that time was around deal, so he might not have paid attention to her feelings. Hope i am clear. 😒

@bolded: My thoughts exactly. I have just written the exact same thing in a response to @404 on a previous page in this thread.

Originally posted by: sadiltl

@bold

This we cannot blame him totally right. It is only human to behave in a way that doesnt hurt others. I still say he was over pakhi the moment she got married. But he knows she might be feeling bad so he 'considers' it and acts accordingly. It does not mean he had residual feelings for her. He has sympathy and guilt for sure...two best examples I can think of which says Virat is over pakhi atleast at romantic level.

1. He was NOT feeling an inch bad on their wedding night. Moreover he was worried why samrat was not in her room. All he talked about that night was how samrat could be a great husband to her. Only when She screamed ILU on phone he was pushed into guilt mode. He did not ponder over her call till the next day.

2. The night he brought sai home, and the terrace conversation with sunny. He wanted Sai to get the respect she deserves in his home. It meant long term. It was never a deal in his mind. He understands the rules of marriage. Also when he stopped Pakhi to ask her a favor, she expected something but Virat wanted her to guide sai so sai is accepted in the house.

These two incidents scream his state. He is over pakhi. But he stood by her as friend as he promised. the way he behaved with pakhi is because he understands her feelings and was 'considerate' of them.

Ok now coming to pyarosti slip up. It is a genuine out of control slip up. Damage is done due to it. But I think it is a slip up becuase, later he never expected sai to go and apologise pakhi. That night also, he was worried that he did not listen to sai when she excitedly came and talked about her results. His mind only revolved around Sai's words not about Sai talking about bringing pakhi back.

Long story short, VIrat had guilt, guilt that pakhi's life was stuck but no guilt that he married sai, at any moment. He was pretty sure of his decision on the morning of Sai's bungalow visit. He was just considerate for pakhi;s feeling which gave Sai wrong signals. May be he also knows Sai's metal state at that time was around deal, so he might not have paid attention to her feelings. Hope i am clear. 😒

@bold I am sorry to disagree but he did have residual feelings. Virat to me was an emotional mess. He thought he was in love with Pakhi as I had once stated to Pooja but he was also getting drawn to Sai subconsciously. He told Sai at the end of the pheras that he can only fulfill his responsibility but to hear the same words from Sai hurt him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted and why he felt that way. He didn’t like Sai telling that she didn’t want to get married to him and that she cannot be his wife or would walk out of his life at the time both were doing pradakshina at the temple after marriage, but he also told Pakhi that she was special for him even then. He had feelings for Pakhi which he couldn’t bury it completely.

Forget Sai, Pakhi was married to his brother, was Virat right in thinking or imagining Pakhi at his wedding altar? He had absolutely no control over his emotions. He was feeling bad that they couldn’t become one. Whether or not it is love or whether he had always loved Sai is all a different thing because whatever be it, it didn’t vanish after Pakhi got married.

I have never blamed him because he had no control over his own emotions which would surface every now and then. It surfaced even during the DIG fight when he looked at Pakhi and said that he lost his pyari cheez, it surfaced even when he said Pakhi ke liye mere man jo pyaar hai corrected it to Dosti, it surfaced even when Sai asked him about details of Samrat wedding on the MS day when they both were talking about Devi’s wedding, when he had actually got blanked out, got upset.

It is probably natural since they were all feelings and he didn’t have control over them. But what was in his hands were his actions which he didn’t think through and that’s the problem.

Whatever he was feeling for Sai is something that I know. Sai replying to his own deal saying she can’t be his wife or she would move out once she becomes a doctor and things that were his own words repeated by her had hurt him in the jeep too when he was dropping Sai back home.

He has felt guilty for Pakhi but as I have already said, it was also an empathy for the girl whom he had let down, with whom he couldn’t start the journey of life, whose pain he could relate to because he also could feel her pain. He used to think and believe that he loved her (I am yet to know what he actually thinks about it especially after the lovers point dialogue 🤦‍♀️ ) which made him act not only out of guilt but also out of understanding. This was all in parallel to whatever he had started to feel already for Sai subconsciously. I had said in this some other post too, even in that pyar dosti slip up, I could see Virat’s irritation and hurt when Sai retorted with an answer that it doesn’t matter to her as whom he likes or loves. This was a retort to his question as why should it bother her when their marriage is a deal. He was having conflicting emotions all along.

I have a feeling that over a period of time especially when he started to act possessive during Amay’s case of jealousy during Aniket’s case, Sai understood him having conflicting emotions. She is seeking for clarifications from him because of this.

Anyway, the main issue we all have been discussing is how he never drew lines when he should have. It wasn’t just one but many instances during which he had failed to do that. He had led Pakhi on too. He wasn’t being mindful of his actions.

Lakshmi, one more reason to believe in my stance on Virat's feelings is the recent dialogues from Sunny

If we accept Sunny is the only person who knows Virat's state of mind both during pakhi episode and now with Sai, then his recent words during anniversary fight that Virat had burnt the bridges on the very day of pakhis marriage should be taken into consideration, seriously. And immediate assertive nod from virat confirming what sunny said is true. Sunny is the one who knows in and out of Virat's relation with both the ladies. He is the best friend who discusses and advices virat in his most personal matters. So coming this from him and Virat's assertion (assuming virat does not lie as per his character) proves that he indeed did not have any feelings for pakhi, at romantic level after her marriage. He was interacting at platonic level. What he had was sympathy and guilt. May be fondness too...which he lost gradually because of her behavior.

The same Virat, agrees to Sai's question on their chemistry, willingly acknowledging that it was true in the past..and that same person agreed to sunny that he burnt the bridges (har dor dil se nikal diya or something) on the wedding day. Just trying to finish of my thoughts from previous post. :)

This is purely how I understand virat's mind.

Originally posted by: sadiltl

Lakshmi, one more reason to believe in my stance on Virat's feelings is the recent dialogues from Sunny

If we accept Sunny is the only person who knows Virat's state of mind both during pakhi episode and now with Sai, then his recent words during anniversary fight that Virat had burnt the bridges on the very day of pakhis marriage should be taken into consideration, seriously. And immediate assertive nod from virat confirming what sunny said is true. Sunny is the one who knows in and out of Virat's relation with both the ladies. He is the best friend who discusses and advices virat in his most personal matters. So coming this from him and Virat's assertion (assuming virat does not lie as per his character) proves that he indeed did not have any feelings for pakhi, at romantic level after her marriage. He was interacting at platonic level. What he had was sympathy and guilt. May be fondness too...which he lost gradually because of her behavior.

The same Virat, agrees to Sai's question on their chemistry, willingly acknowledging that it was true in the past..and that same person agreed to sunny that he burnt the bridges (har dor dil se nikal diya or something) on the wedding day. Just trying to finish of my thoughts from previous post. :)

This is purely how I understand virat's mind.

I am sorry Sadhika but I don’t think this way.

Sai

Sunny nodded his head even when Sai spoke about Karma 🤦‍♀️. Whatever I have said or understood has been based on Virat’s actions, his behaviour and his words throughout the journey. Sunny wasn’t even aware that Virat had ousted Sai from the house and even when Sunny asked about it, Virat had asked him to ignore it and Virat didn’t want to talk about it further. Sunny wasn’t aware of what Virat felt or that Virat had imagined Pakhi at the altar, he wasn’t aware that Virat and Pakhi were on phone conversations. If he was then Sunny would have also stopped or given advice to Virat. Virat did have conflicting emotions. It is not wrong to have, is it? It is natural for a person to be confused about their feelings. One can feel that what they feel is love when it need not be love too.

I didn’t say that Virat looked at Pakhi romantically, but he looked at Pakhi as an ex lover whom he would know be hurting whenever she sees him and Sai together during the initial days of the marriage. The pyaari cheez scene was one place where Virat did really feel bad to have lost Pakhi. Virat himself didn’t know whether it was love or not but he had some feelings for Pakhi which made him feel sad when they couldn’t become one.

One more thing that I would still say is that guilt or sympathy, even actions arising out of guilt or sympathy has to be in check. It doesn’t give one a free pass to not think about how their own partner or the partner of the other person would feel. That infact was the start of this discussion. Atleast that is where I was tagged in along the discussion. It was to say that his actions towards Pakhi weren’t in check as how it should have been.

I have never said that Virat has two timed, never ever but the fact that he failed in many things is also true. He had led on Pakhi for sometime, he had encouraged her thoughts in some way or the other. He has wronged Samrat too in a few ways.

Read all the replies and must say excellent observation by the post maker..

Virat mistook his infatuation for Love. He didn't realize that he was actually pushed by Sunny.. One needs to be clear about his own actions and reactions before trying to convey the other.. We can't blame Sai fully for rejecting him..

You are so right why a 19 years old girl fails to understand that the man next her giving what kinds of signals.??.. How it is going to be even possible for two young people living in a same room for 5 Years as spouses without having no demands..

Virat planted that thought in her but later he went with flow....

Let me share two incidents that happened in front of me..

My beauty therapist younger sister got divorced within six months of her marriage because her husband was secretly having an affair with his sister in law before marriage.. That truth broke her and chose to divorce that guy.. Because it would be impossible for her to adjust in such environment where she constantly would have to face his husbands gf/bhabi .

Second incidents

My friend's uncle who married to a girl who is 10/11 younger than him.. Unfortunately that marriage also broke on a very sad note.. That uncle used to do things for her beyond anything.. He made sure that this young girl never diprives of normal glee of life..He bought property under her name, made sure that she gets to finish her degree.. They had a beautiful 7 Years old daughter when got divorced.. They were a happy couple.. But until she got into University things started changing between them ..in her final year she ran away with her college mate and took all the expensive belongings gifted by her husband.

Virat and Sai these two characters are the reflection of our society ... bit reality is very harsh..

I had to share this because it will help us understand none is wrong and none entirely right..

Virat once gave Sai this advice- ki if i have a problem, main chaand par baith jaata hoon- to get a birds eye view of it, an objective view and then i decide how to tackle it. I wish he could apply this advice to his own personal life. If he did he'd understand what Sai's problem is. Why she keeps on bringing up deal n pp. Sai is not doing it to be petty. She genuinely needs a clarification and she is insecure as any wife would be. She was willing to accept Sunnys words that ok virat broke ties off with pp but she asks- if thats so why is pp still waiting. And its a very reasonable question. Instead of getting angry, i wish virat had replied saying - i dont know. I've told her to stay in her limits. I dont understand why he thinks she will read his eyes n his actions and if he needs to explain his feelings in words then thats not acceptable for him. He seems to be in this zone where hes like "if Sai understands everything herself, then she will come to me n but if she doesn't theres no use trying"

This attitude is only prolonging both their misery.

When he told Sai- i thought the onus was on me to make you understand, but no matter what I do, you only find fault- i dont agree fully. Yes, he has tried to convey that he cares but it doesn't erase the questions that Sai has raised over n over again. As his wife she wants to know everything about pp. Everything there was, there is- how he felt before, how he feels now. Whereas virats attitude is- i dont wanna talk about it. I dont understand why! Is it so hard to see that she is insecure/possessive too...that she wants her husband to be only hers. How can she not be in a terrible mood when yoga instructor is narrating his love story with pp to her- his wife. How can she not lash out when she keeps getting reminders of her husband's past every other day and all virat does is sidestep the issue. He has been direct maybe 2-3 times but all have been in the heat of arguments or emotions, in the hospital, etc...and even then he has not explained everything. Sai deserves the A to Z. How else will she understand his pov...

Will these 2 ever be shown having a mature conversation?!

Despite his escapist attitude, he has had to confess that pp was his past after trying really hard to deny it and now Samrat is going to expose them in front of family too.

Originally posted by: laksh

@bold I am sorry to disagree but he did have residual feelings. Virat to me was an emotional mess. He thought he was in love with Pakhi as I had once stated to Pooja but he was also getting drawn to Sai subconsciously. He told Sai at the end of the pheras that he can only fulfill his responsibility but to hear the same words from Sai hurt him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted and why he felt that way. He didn’t like Sai telling that she didn’t want to get married to him and that she cannot be his wife or would walk out of his life at the time both were doing pradakshina at the temple after marriage, but he also told Pakhi that she was special for him even then. He had feelings for Pakhi which he couldn’t bury it completely.

Forget Sai, Pakhi was married to his brother, was Virat right in thinking or imagining Pakhi at his wedding altar? He had absolutely no control over his emotions. He was feeling bad that they couldn’t become one. Whether or not it is love or whether he had always loved Sai is all a different thing because whatever be it, it didn’t vanish after Pakhi got married.

I have never blamed him because he had no control over his own emotions which would surface every now and then. It surfaced even during the DIG fight when he looked at Pakhi and said that he lost his pyari cheez, it surfaced even when he said Pakhi ke liye mere man jo pyaar hai corrected it to Dosti, it surfaced even when Sai asked him about details of Samrat wedding on the MS day when they both were talking about Devi’s wedding, when he had actually got blanked out, got upset.

It is probably natural since they were all feelings and he didn’t have control over them. But what was in his hands were his actions which he didn’t think through and that’s the problem.

Whatever he was feeling for Sai is something that I know. Sai replying to his own deal saying she can’t be his wife or she would move out once she becomes a doctor and things that were his own words repeated by her had hurt him in the jeep too when he was dropping Sai back home.

He has felt guilty for Pakhi but as I have already said, it was also an empathy for the girl whom he had let down, with whom he couldn’t start the journey of life, whose pain he could relate to because he also could feel her pain. He used to think and believe that he loved her (I am yet to know what he actually thinks about it especially after the lovers point dialogue 🤦‍♀️ ) which made him act not only out of guilt but also out of understanding. This was all in parallel to whatever he had started to feel already for Sai subconsciously. I had said in this some other post too, even in that pyar dosti slip up, I could see Virat’s irritation and hurt when Sai retorted with an answer that it doesn’t matter to her as whom he likes or loves. This was a retort to his question as why should it bother her when their marriage is a deal. He was having conflicting emotions all along.

I have a feeling that over a period of time especially when he started to act possessive during Amay’s case of jealousy during Aniket’s case, Sai understood him having conflicting emotions. She is seeking for clarifications from him because of this.

Anyway, the main issue we all have been discussing is how he never drew lines when he should have. It wasn’t just one but many instances during which he had failed to do that. He had led Pakhi on too. He wasn’t being mindful of his actions.

Yes he was not being mindful

Originally posted by: laksh

I am sorry Sadhika but I don’t think this way.

Sai

Sunny nodded his head even when Sai spoke about Karma 🤦‍♀️. Whatever I have said or understood has been based on Virat’s actions, his behaviour and his words throughout the journey. Sunny wasn’t even aware that Virat had ousted Sai from the house and even when Sunny asked about it, Virat had asked him to ignore it and Virat didn’t want to talk about it further. Sunny wasn’t aware of what Virat felt or that Virat had imagined Pakhi at the altar, he wasn’t aware that Virat and Pakhi were on phone conversations. If he was then Sunny would have also stopped or given advice to Virat. Virat did have conflicting emotions. It is not wrong to have, is it? It is natural for a person to be confused about their feelings. One can feel that what they feel is love when it need not be love too.

I didn’t say that Virat looked at Pakhi romantically, but he looked at Pakhi as an ex lover whom he would know be hurting whenever she sees him and Sai together during the initial days of the marriage. The pyaari cheez scene was one place where Virat did really feel bad to have lost Pakhi. Virat himself didn’t know whether it was love or not but he had some feelings for Pakhi which made him feel sad when they couldn’t become one.

One more thing that I would still say is that guilt or sympathy, even actions arising out of guilt or sympathy has to be in check. It doesn’t give one a free pass to not think about how their own partner or the partner of the other person would feel. That infact was the start of this discussion. Atleast that is where I was tagged in along the discussion. It was to say that his actions towards Pakhi weren’t in check as how it should have been.

I have never said that Virat has two timed, never ever but the fact that he failed in many things is also true. He had led on Pakhi for sometime, he had encouraged her thoughts in some way or the other. He has wronged Samrat too in a few ways.

@bolded yes!!..... but when the person does not realize that he is doing the same thing over and over again in all aspects of his life, there is clearly a problem that needs to be solved- he needs to learn how to deal with his own emotions and look outside of them..... most likely through therapy....but vankar won't show that because he is too busy showing us KBA sniffing her devar's shirt 🤣

Just one observation Laksh. During MS, that weird blank state when Sai questions him about Samrat's wedding - it might have been his emotions for Samrat and not remnants of his feelings for Pakhi.

Day before MS was PD lunch kaand. That day, he had told Pakhi that he has no feelings for her.

This is something I was thinking about Pooja. I realised he had this problem with Sai - because he would get engulfed in his own emotions. I also feel that with Sai, he often seems to expect/believe that Sai would react the same way he would go a situation. And when she doesn't, he interprets it entirely wrong.

But the way he doesn't clear things with even Pakhi until she herself tells him she has feelings for him - shows he has serious observation problems - not just with Sai.

Only thing I don't understand is how he became IPS officer.