Both need space ❤️❤️❤️ - Page 14

Originally posted by: laksh

Went through the thread. The discussion here is very interesting and a much needed one to understand why Virat is in the position that he is in today and to understand the mindset of Sai too.

Let me share a few things that I think of before I get into this discussion.

Sai - It is her goodness and boldness that I like in her.

Virat - it is again the goodness and his emotions that I like in him.

Sai jo mann mein aati hai bolti hai could be a problem. Well I see it wrong a few times but good too. It is not just she tells anything that comes to her mind but she has a view, an opinion and she wouldn’t be scared or wouldn’t stop herself to express it. Let me talk further about it.

We can see how Sai and Virat are different. The way Sai is behaving with Virat is how Virat should have behaved with Pakhi in first place. I mean to say that Sai got married to him with the conditions that he had set. It was a deal marriage and she accepted it. She had got carried away with her emotions and really couldn’t stick to her end of the deal when she had to face the reality, when she had to face with the commitment whom he was talking about. Not only was she expected to live with his commitment, she had to witness their relationship day in and out. It was friendship or anything that they claimed but one could see two people who used to be in a relationship separated due to fate by looking at them. They were two people lost in love, failed in love.

Virat gave a waada to Pakhi and the waada was that he would never move on in his life after she gets married to his brother. It was only to tell her that he wasn’t trying to get rid of her, it was to tell her that what he felt for her was a genuine thing and wasn’t a time pass, it was to tell her that he was also feeling bad as much as her that they both are not able to become one, it was to tell her that he doesn’t mean to hurt her, doesn’t mean to insult her by not marrying her but instead he wants her to marry his brother because he loves his brother and doesn’t want to hurt his brother or be a reason for his brother’s heartbreak.

He meant to only try to show that his feelings for Pakhi were real and he never faked it. He wanted to respect her as a woman by keeping the promise and nothing else. It didn’t mean that he will love her forever, it meant he won’t love anyone else. It means that the position that he had once given to her wouldn’t be given to anyone else. All these were to assure her that she wasn’t a time pass for him, he doesn’t mean to or want to hurt her by getting her married off to his brother. It was to let her know that just like her even he would be broken and shattered after she gets married to his brother. Pakhi was questioning his love too. Any girl would when they sacrifice their love. They would ask if that is how important they are to them, if that is how much they loves them that they are willing to let go of them. It is to answer those questions, to reduce her pain, to compensate that he is not able to fight for their love, to compensate that he is made to sacrifice their love, he had said he would never move on in his life.

Now this is again like a deal. Deal or not, her marriage to his brother should be respected. It is for that he should have drawn a line with Pakhi.

The problem with all of these is that he thought he can change this relationship into friendship. For quite sometime I really have been thinking tha him making her is a genuine one but didn’t look deeper into it or should I say his actions didn’t make me look deeper into it that I didn’t give much weightage to it. The problem by itself is that friendship and will be one forever.

After going through this thread and reading a lot of different perspectives for a while now from many people, if I look into it, it is wrong. The whole friendship proposal is wrong. I have personally never liked it but I never doubted his intentions but I have also always felt that he had misled Pakhi in many ways. After reading this discussion a while back I was thinking if it was even right on his part to make Pakhi his friend, to promise her that he will stand by her good and bad times?

I thought this the first time today that Virat should have thought how his brother would feel when he proposed that he would be her friend. I have always thought that since he failed as a lover, he wanted to let her know that he will be there for her if she needs but as a friend. But was it necessary? No. His brother would be there for Pakhi and it would be an insult to his brother’s and Pakhi’s relationship. Did he not trust his brother to be there for Pakhi? He didn’t think any of these which he should have. Ex can be friends but that is later once both of them have actually moved on and the friendship doesn’t start like this. They can end or part ways in good terms, part way as friends. But this friendship that Virat offered was wrong because even though they parted ways, neither of them actually wanted to end it. They didn’t end it because it wasn’t working out but he ended it because he couldn’t come in between his brother’s happiness, because his love was in between his brother and his happiness. This is where I have felt bad for Pakhi in the past, because it was his love, his brother and Pakhi’s love and Pakhi’s happiness wasn’t something Virat failed to think about.

Anyway as MSIN has rightly called out, how would his brother feel about his talks with Pakhi?

I have been thinking about Virat Pakhi call ever since Samrat shared with Virat that he heard Pakhi talking to someone. I was thinking about Virat and his actions and wondering how did he let Pakhi talk to him in first place. I have always had issues in all the phone conversations between the two always and have felt it was wrong. I felt Virat didn’t draw a line there and he led her on by doing so too.

But the first phone call. Shouldn’t Virat have thought not to pick it up at all? I don’t know if he felt that he was washing his hands from Pakhi if he didn’t talk to her especially after he had got her convinced to get married to his brother and he also rushed out of the house in hurry. One thing is that Virat also had to be careful that Pakhi doesn’t take any step that she shouldn’t and he was in a way responsible for the position she was in. It was better that he picked the call, he would also know about her being safe. But once he came to know she was okay, why not cut the call? Virat was wrong there.

Did he think that

There has been many instances where he went wrong and I will talk about shortly as new comments. What I am trying to say is be it his phone calls or his behavior towards Pakhi at GC or in CN right after he got married, during Valentine’s Day or even during Ladakh fight was all not right.

After marriage, it looked like Sai was acting possessive. We say that she acted possessive without her own knowledge. It wasn’t just possessiveness but also how one would behave when someone interferes in their life a lot.

Virat didn’t even think before asking Pakhi to take Sai’s responsibility. He made a big mistake there. Sai was hurt because she had heard what he thinks of her from the terrace talk between both the friends. She couldn’t take it that he thinks that she needs to be mentored. Not just mentored but also be mentored by his own ex. It shows the high opinion he has of Pakhi. Sai is not a kid who needs to be mentored by handing over her responsibility like this to someone else. He had taken her responsibility, she was comfortable with him, has trust and faith in him, she would have only preferred for him to guide her.

She had also noticed that Pakhi was interfering in Virat’s life and Virat had no issues with it. She could feel and sense the rights/power he had given to Pakhi. This also meant that Pakhi would be interfering in her life too. She didn’t like that. No one would like to be scrutinised by others and Pakhi running to their room asking if he wasn’t well or if Sai fought with him were all too much for anyone to take. She had to set the boundaries and tell the both of them that they can’t do it. She had to tell Virat that Pakhi can’t be doing it. She was very clear with how things were wrong, with her own expectations and how to set things right.

All of these came crashing down ever since the DIG incident when he had said how he had regretted to have got posted in GC. It became worse when he said she wouldn’t understand his love for Pakhi , when he asked her why it should bother her even if he loves Pakhi when it was a deal marriage, when he accused that she would be happy that Pakhi left the house and that is what she wanted. Not only was she hurt by his accusations, she was also hurt by realising how important Pakhi must be for him.

Ever since these incidents, Sai had her walls raised. The reason I am bringing all of these up is that this was the proper starting point of Sai with her raised walls. She had done it right after his proposal but she could understand the actual situation only when she started to practically live through the conditions he had set, when she had to go through what was called a deal marriage, when she started to get the real feel of their marriage.

To many, it looks like time has passed, yes time has passed things have changed but there are a certain things which has still not changed, Virat has also not changed in a few ways still by staying silent even now when Pakhi claims certain things and when she accuses him to be cheating her or when she bad mouths Sai. The situation has become even more worse now since it is no longer maintained as a secret by both Virat and Pakhi, since they no longer can deny it, since she herself had witnessed and heard what kind of life they had planned to start.

Sai’s harsh exterior, her indifference, the mask that she wears is not only to protect her heart but it is also so that she can try to stick to her end of the deal, because that was what was expected from her. Virat’s changed feelings scares her and she is not confident that she would be able to contain herself, she would be able to stick to her end of the deal. She wants him to end the deal, declare that their marriage is real, end things with Pakhi or stop trying to make this marriage look real so that she gets freed from the confusion, so that she can understand what is happening and what is that he wants.

She is pushing him away because that is the right thing to do, because she had agreed for a deal marriage, because she was told that he can’t be her husband and she can’t be his wife. She is doing everything possible, act as much harsh as possible to ensure there is a line between them, to ensure that he crosses the line only when he can give her the status of a wife.

Virat should have done this with Pakhi. That is why I have said the way Sai is behaving Virat is how Virat should have been with Pakhi.

Virat and Sai had behaved like husband and wife many times without their knowledge or with their knowledge too. The more it keeps happening with the knowledge, Sai wants a confirmation that he isn’t doing it out of duty or because he has no other choice but is doing it because he wants it, because he needs her. She wants to know if he has actually ended his commitment and is no longer committed to anyone else in anyway. When she doesn’t seem to get that clarification, when she feels that he is confused, she asks him to choose one of them.

She can act really harsh with him to keep him at bay, to define the boundaries, to make him stick to their deal.

Virat should have done exactly this. Whether it is in his nature or not desperate times calls for desperate measures. As soon as Pakhi started to get dependent on Virat over phone, as soon as she started to tell him she need him by her side, he should have understood that her expectations from him was wrong, understood that he cannot become a crying shoulder for him, should have understood that

- he should have reminded her of who she was, his brother’s wife,

- should have not attended her calls,

- shouldn’t have given explanations to her even if she misunderstood about him and Sai when he was at GC

- definitely not called her to GC to attend the wedding

- not given her explanations about his marriage

- shouldn’t have shared that it was a deal marriage

- and every other explanation he was giving to Pakhi after moving to CN

- or act empathetic towards her hurt or pain that resulted out of his and Sai’s relationship like their rasams or photo sessions or suhaag rat or lipstick mark or Valentine day giving rose to Sai and so much more.

The root cause for the above problem could be waada but it was more his friendship than the waada itself where he had promised he wouldn’t move on, it was his actions like how Nethra has said more than his waada.

Sai also gets carried away with her emotions but that is also because of his changed behaviour and his changed feelings that she can sense. Whether she keeps ranting deal or not (which she does only to remind herself, only so that she doesn’t act like his wife as how he wanted her to), she is legally his wife. Them getting carried away wouldn’t be ethically or morally wrong but would be wrong if one of them is committed to someone else. She lets herself get close to him or let him get close to her but when she gets reminded that he is committed to someone else, it not only breaks her heart but it also makes her angry on herself to have got carried away, angry on him to be changing when he has someone whom he is committed to and with whom he has properly not ended his ties with because Pakhi shows it all in front of her that she is waiting for Virat, she doesn’t want Virat to move on. That is where she finds him wrong because like how he had told her not to have any expectations from him even though they were married, he had set a definite boundary in between them while getting married, she has not seen him setting these boundaries with Pakhi asking her to move on, asking her to not accuse him, asking her to not call him a cheat when he is moving on with his own wife, by not telling Pakhi that Sai is no more his responsibility but his wife.

I would say when Sai knows when it becomes wrong ethically and morally, when she is afraid of doing something wrong because it is a deal marriage, because he has promised to someone else, Virat should have thought of all these while talking to Pakhi or maintaining friendship with Pakhi.

Sai pushes him away, acts harsh and indifferent, tells him clearly that he shouldn’t expect anything from her as a wife when he has prior commitment, Virat should have done the same from the beginning with Pakhi not paying heed to her emotional outbursts or her pain, should have acted indifferent , shouldn’t have let her get dependent in him emotionally, shouldn’t have let her seek his support. Even if it means that he has to act harsh with Pakhi, he should have, even if it means Pakhi will think him to be a cheat, he should have let her think that way, even if he thinks that he will look like a selfish guy, he should have let her think that way. When we have to draw some definite boundaries, have to be clear with someone about what we want and what we would never encourage, when we have to be cautious, we shouldn’t mind about how we would come across to that person. Our only intention should be put across the message that this is not right and I would not encourage this. This is where Virat failed.

Tagging you all since you have all been in this discussion.

Nethra, sorry for the delay in replying to the tag. I have been writing quite a few things a few hours back and was also going through the thread. Took a break after writing and could finish it only now.

Really nicely put, Laksh ❤️

Originally posted by: 404_NotFound

We cannot say that Virat did wrong by proposing friendship to Pakhi . Virat and Pakhi did not have an affair in true sense . They felt something for each other and nothing really happened between them . Its between two people to decide if they want to be friends with ex . I feel it’s a very conservative thinking of spouses if they feels they can dictate if their spouse can be friends with her ex or not . By saying Virat did wrong by proposing friendship , it implies that ex cannot be friends . I disagree with this .

When Virat offered friendship he never knew Pakhi had different intentions and he only knew his intentions were clear so friendship proposal was totally fine . He meant friendship only and also another reason why he said friendship was to respect their future relationship. It would be so odd if he had refer themselves as ex lovers . He wanted a more decent name to their relationship .

@bolded: I still have mixed feelings about this entire discussion, but after reading all of these posts, I have come to at least 1 conclusion... what you have written, I would agree with.... if Sai and Samrat were not in the picture... then of course, Virat and Pakhi could do whatever they wanted. But, Virat, yes unintentionally, has been extremely insensitive to the 2 most important people in his life....

I tend to sympathize less with Samrat, because I find him to be an extremely immature and cowardly individual, although I can understand the betrayal he has felt from Virat.

But, when it comes to Sai, my heart breaks for her every single episode in one way or another.... Before Samrat entered, I had told Nethraa that her current turmoil is mainly attributed to Virat's lack of clarification and Pakhi's bakwas self-victimization (because she sees and senses Virat's love and affection for her but cannot accept it due to her own walls that she has put up as self defenses)... but of course, Virat's behavior at the beginning of this marriage is greatly attributed to the root of many of these insecurities. And now, with Samrat's return, the entire past has been re-awakened....

Also, just one thing- in this entire confrontation zillat tamasha that is about to ensue... is there going to be even one person who is going to think about how all of this is impacting Sai??? 😭

Friendship was what gave Virat more courage to lend Pakhi a shoulder to cry on. I could understand that Pakhi understood the gravity of the situation, of what she got into only when she moved to CN as Samrat’s wife, only when she had moved to Samrat’s room, when she was sitting in his room. She realised that she had become someone else’s wife and she called Virat to share the same. Even if Virat had to ensure that she had not taken any step when he wasn’t present there, he need not have engaged in a conversation with her especially after she had confessed his love to him after she got married to his brother. Both of them were drowned by emotions, both were brooding over how they could not become one but it should have ended right there. Doesn’t Pakhi have her parents or friends to talk to that she had to call up Virat every now and then? Was it necessary for Virat to lend her ears to listen to her sad story everytime? He should have never encouraged these and should have told her clearly that she shouldn’t be calling him and she can call up some friend to talk. He should have said that he wouldn’t be able to help her even if he moved to Nagpur. He should have said that after the history that they share it wouldn’t look good for her to call him up so often or get dependent on him. He couldn’t say any of these only because he had promised to be her friend. That is why it all looks wrong. Exes can be friends but not when they have feelings for which each other and where even one is not able to control their emotions or one is not able to stop feeling dependent on the other and even if when one cries only to them and not any other friend. Didn’t Virat think that Pakhi would have other friends too whom she can call and it need not be only him? Why should he even encourage her to seek help from him when he was miles away from him? Can’t he understand especially after she declared her love for him over phone on her wedding night saying she would never be able to love anyone else that she might be having feelings for him everytime that she was calling him back home? He could see she was hurt, she was in pain when he got married, when he moved to CN, when he was fulfilling all rasams, during the photo shoot and so much more. She had even asked him directly what she meant to him on the night he moved to CN at the terrace. What other indication is needed to draw definite lines? What indicator was needed to understand that they can’t be friends until both of them do not control their feelings or the feelings within them do not get dissipated?

The conservative feeling is more when a husband has issues with wife’s friend entering their room or when his wife’s friend applies cake on his wife or hugs his wife. When a person have so many rules in his house which he also believes and expects to be followed, how did he forget all these rules when he himself never kept following them?

I don’t understand different standards for different people.

Originally posted by: laksh

Friendship was what gave Virat more courage to lend Pakhi a shoulder to cry on. I could understand that Pakhi understood the gravity of the situation, of what she got into only when she moved to CN as Samrat’s wife, only when she had moved to Samrat’s room, when she was sitting in his room. She realised that she had become someone else’s wife and she called Virat to share the same. Even if Virat had to ensure that she had not taken any step when he wasn’t present there, he need not have engaged in a conversation with her especially after she had confessed his love to him after she got married to his brother. Both of them were drowned by emotions, both were brooding over how they could not become one but it should have ended right there. Doesn’t Pakhi have her parents or friends to talk to that she had to call up Virat every now and then? Was it necessary for Virat to lend her ears to listen to her sad story everytime? He should have never encouraged these and should have told her clearly that she shouldn’t be calling him and she can call up some friend to talk. He should have said that he wouldn’t be able to help her even if he moved to Nagpur. He should have said that after the history that they share it wouldn’t look good for her to call him up so often or get dependent on him. He couldn’t say any of these only because he had promised to be her friend. That is why it all looks wrong. Exes can be friends but not when they have feelings for which each other and where even one is not able to control their emotions or one is not able to stop feeling dependent on the other and even if when one cries only to them and not any other friend. Didn’t Virat think that Pakhi would have other friends too whom she can call and it need not be only him? Why should he even encourage her to seek help from him when he was miles away from him? Can’t he understand especially after she declared her love for him over phone on her wedding night saying she would never be able to love anyone else that she might be having feelings for him everytime that she was calling him back home? He could see she was hurt, she was in pain when he got married, when he moved to CN, when he was fulfilling all rasams, during the photo shoot and so much more. She had even asked him directly what she meant to him on the night he moved to CN at the terrace. What other indication is needed to draw definite lines? What indicator was needed to understand that they can’t be friends until both of them do not control their feelings or the feelings within them do not get dissipated?

The conservative feeling is more when a husband has issues with wife’s friend entering their room or when his wife’s friend applies cake on his wife or hugs his wife. When a person have so many rules in his house which he also believes and expects to be followed, how did he forget all these rules when he himself never kept following them?

I don’t understand different standards for different people.

Laksh,

I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say... I'm not trying to bring this up again 🤣

In my opinion, Virat acted in the way he did towards Pakhi largely out of guilt. Some scenes that come to mind are during the photoshoot... he keeps glancing at Pakhi, because he feels guilty that she is standing there while he is having is wedding shoot. Even then, you could see that he cares for Sai and his focus is basically on her, but Pakhi is lurking in the corner so he is feeling uneasy. Another scene is the suitcase packing for Ladhak... I understand that others have a different take on this, but to me, he once again felt guilty and was unable to shut her down, when in the end he knew that he would be packing his things with Sai. All of these things were clear in his mind, and he did not realize how any of this would be impacting Sai (and yes, Pakhi too, but I have lost all sympathy for her... she can go to hell....)

When I say guilt, I mean not only that Samrat, her husband is gone, and she is alone, but also because he probably knew subconsciously that the vaada has ceased to exist from the day he married Sai....

Nethraa and I were discussing this a bit, and once again, I feel as though his behavior all relates back to his issues of emotional self-engulfment and subsequent failure to look outside of that...

And I understand that there are some moments that come across as residual feelings rather than guilt.. I'm just talking about how I perceived the majority of instances...

I'm not trying to undermine the pain he has unintentionally caused and his questionable behavior... I just think this is really important to keep in mind, because...

In contrast, Pakhi acted the way she did because she was seeking an EMA all along, trying to get Virat to cross many lines.... none of which (of those) he ever did. Even moments like her trying to feed him, he shut down. I don't want to say that when it really mattered, he stood firmly against her attempts to get him to "cheat", because as you and others have pointed out, all of these moments "mattered" in creating a toxic environment for Sai.... I just think that Pakhi's role in all of this cannot be understated... she is the true villian here....

I apologize if I am not making sense here 😕

Originally posted by: tptwi

@bolded: I still have mixed feelings about this entire discussion, but after reading all of these posts, I have come to at least 1 conclusion... what you have written, I would agree with.... if Sai and Samrat were not in the picture... then of course, Virat and Pakhi could do whatever they wanted. But, Virat, yes unintentionally, has been extremely insensitive to the 2 most important people in his life....

I tend to sympathize less with Samrat, because I find him to be an extremely immature and cowardly individual, although I can understand the betrayal he has felt from Virat.

But, when it comes to Sai, my heart breaks for her every single episode in one way or another.... Before Samrat entered, I had told Nethraa that her current turmoil is mainly attributed to Virat's lack of clarification and Pakhi's bakwas self-victimization (because she sees and senses Virat's love and affection for her but cannot accept it due to her own walls that she has put up as self defenses)... but of course, Virat's behavior at the beginning of this marriage is greatly attributed to the root of many of these insecurities. And now, with Samrat's return, the entire past has been re-awakened....

Also, just one thing- in this entire confrontation zillat tamasha that is about to ensue... is there going to be even one person who is going to think about how all of this is impacting Sai??? 😭

At the early stage of their marriage , she wasn’t ready to be his wife either so I don’t know if we can say Virat hurt her by having residual feelings . She didn’t bother much about Virat Pakhi in the beginning. Later she started falling for him and he did too . If I remember clearly, she refused to marry him even before the deal was proposed to her which makes me feel she wasn’t keen to marry him nor was bothered about his past . Pakhi’s presence irritated her initially because of the way Virat forced Pakhi to help Sai and later because of Pakhi’s taunts .

Eventually she needs to make peace with his past if she wants to lead a life with him . In the past , he might not have been in live with her but currently he hasn’t given her any reason to feel he is two timing so it’s unfair for him when she judges him based on the past ignoring the parent . She cannot character assassinate him and call him a two timer based on his past .

Originally posted by: 404_NotFound

@Bold He might have unintentionally been insensitive to Samrat but not to Sai . The reason why I don’t include Sai is she knew everything before hand and the terms were clearly stated to her . She knew what she was getting into and it was part of their deal . She had an option of backing out but she didn’t . IMO , the deal benefitted Sai as well . She wanted to achieve her dreams and was not ready to marry anyone . The villagers feared taking her responsibility so they would force her to marry someone if she had said no to Virat . She would not know how her future husband would react but in case of Virat she knew he would support her and he was a good man and more importantly the deal was blessing in disguise . She didn’t have to be anyone’s wife but she would get to fulfill her dreams . She is not someone who can be forced to marry anyone . She didn’t put a fight to stop this marriage because deep down she knew this was the best given the circumstances.

At the early stage of their marriage , she wasn’t ready to be his wife either so I don’t know if we can say Virat hurt her by having residual feelings . She didn’t bother much about Virat Pakhi in the beginning. Later she started falling for him and he did too . If I remember clearly, she refused to marry him even before the deal was proposed to her which makes me feel she wasn’t keen to marry him nor was bothered about his past . Pakhi’s presence irritated her initially because of the way Virat forced Pakhi to help Sai and later because of Pakhi’s taunts .

Eventually she needs to make peace with his past if she wants to lead a life with him . In the past , he might not have been in live with her but currently he hasn’t given her any reason to feel he is two timing so it’s unfair for him when she judges him based on the past ignoring the parent . She cannot character assassinate him and call him a two timer based on his past .

@bolded: I personally think that Virat and Sai had been falling for each other since even before the marriage. Virat has always treated Sai as more than a zimidari, and she has always felt for him beyond the deal as well. She did bother about Virat and Pakhi from the very beginning. She has been possessive over him since the very day of the shaadi. It bothered her that Pakhi came to their bedroom during their SR and Virat's softness towards Pakhi always left her unsettled. When Pakhi left the house and she could not fall asleep, she knew how much this was bothering Virat, and that in turn, was bothering her...not only because she could not see Virat in pain even then (and she thought that is why he was upset), but also because she herself was hurt that Pakhi being gone was impacting him this much (again from her POV). She knew the terms of the deal in her mind, but she could not control her heart....and this is exactly what happened with Virat too. In fact, this is exactly what is happening to this day. She has put up so many defenses and emotional walls because Virat has never clearly ended the deal nor clarified the past... she is still trying to uphold the deal, which is part of the reason why she is in such constant emotional turmoil.... she partially senses that the deal has essentially ceased to exist on Virat's end, but due to his lack of clarification, she cannot accept it... add to that Pakhi's behavior and Samrat's return, and Sai is headed for a full mental and emotional breakdown...

This is all to say that neither Virat nor Sai, despite the deal, have ever fully abided by it, because you cannot control your feelings no matter how hard you try to with your mind. Virat has always asserted husbandly rights on Sai, and Sai has always cared for him beyond someone who is her caretaker as well...so it is unfair to say that Sai knew what she was getting herself into and therefore her pain isn't understandable... also, Virat told her not to expect anything from him as a husband, but that does not mean that she knew what she was getting herself into in that she would be seeing his ex entering his room all of the time and acting very creepily towards him without him ever explicitly shutting her down (in front of her)....

I agree that she needs to make peace with his past, but the problem is that she does not even know the full picture of the past. She keeps trying to get answers from Virat, but the way she comes across is so harsh due to her own defenses that she hurts Virat in the process and loses her chances at productive conversation. And Virat is too engulfed in his own love and hurt towards her that he cannot reflect on his own to see that she needs verbal affirmation from him. I agree that Virat has given her no reason at this point to accuse him of what she did in their latest fight, and I called her out for that. Her behavior, no matter how understandable, was absolutely unacceptable and vile.

Originally posted by: tptwi

Laksh,

I'm really sorry for what I'm about to say... I'm not trying to bring this up again 🤣

In my opinion, Virat acted in the way he did towards Pakhi largely out of guilt. Some scenes that come to mind are during the photoshoot... he keeps glancing at Pakhi, because he feels guilty that she is standing there while he is having is wedding shoot. Even then, you could see that he cares for Sai and his focus is basically on her, but Pakhi is lurking in the corner so he is feeling uneasy. Another scene is the suitcase packing for Ladhak... I understand that others have a different take on this, but to me, he once again felt guilty and was unable to shut her down, when in the end he knew that he would be packing his things with Sai. All of these things were clear in his mind, and he did not realize how any of this would be impacting Sai (and yes, Pakhi too, but I have lost all sympathy for her... she can go to hell....)

When I say guilt, I mean not only that Samrat, her husband is gone, and she is alone, but also because he probably knew subconsciously that the vaada has ceased to exist from the day he married Sai....

I'm not trying to undermine the pain he has unintentionally caused and his questionable behavior... I just think this is really important to keep in mind, because...

In contrast, Pakhi acted the way she did because she was seeking an EMA all along, trying to get Virat to cross many lines.... none of which (of those) he ever did. Even moments like her trying to feed him, he shut down. I don't want to say that when it really mattered, he stood firmly against her attempts to get him to "cheat", because as you and others have pointed out, all of these moments "mattered" in creating a toxic environment for Sai.... I just think that Pakhi's role in all of this cannot be understated... she is the true villian here....

Please don’t be sorry to put across your views. Our views need not match in a few things or even many things 😀.

I would say that his actions were that of a mixed feeling. I am not saying that he kept looking at her romantically, he looked at Pakhi knowing that it would she would be in hurt because they both should have been in that position if things had gone well. He could understand that she would be hurt and so along with the guilt that he has moved on, that he couldn’t keep his promise, he also looked at her empathising her since he had let her down by turning her proposal down and had part ways.

I have noticed Virat looking at Sai if she is comfortable or not during the rasam or even when he saw that they had decorated their room on the reception night. But he had kept looking at Pakhi, understanding how she would be feeling. That understanding as I have said about wasn’t just guilt that he had got married or he didn’t keep his promise, it was also because he knew that Pakhi would be hurt looking at him and Sai together like that. The problem is he didn’t even think that when he doesn’t mask his emotions, his empathy for Pakhi or his understanding, he would only be encouraging her to continue to feel bad about the whole thing. That is where I am saying he has failed. It is very important sometimes to even become a wrong or a bad person to ensure we do what is right.

About the Ladakh trip, it always doesn’t matter as what he thinks at the end but setting things right should be the need of the hour always. He should ensure that he doesn’t give her any wrong signals, doesn’t encourage her to even propose such disgusting things whether or not he is married, whether or not Sai was in the room.

He shouldn’t be thinking and doing things based on how it would impact Sai or Pakhi but instead should be doing things which is right. Stopping Pakhi from even offering such a thing is the only right thing to do at that point of time.

The guilty thing is a topic by itself 🤣🤣. I have a mixed feeling about it and it all depends on the situation. He can feel guilty for the position that he has put Pakhi in but to correct one wrong, he shouldn’t make another mistake. In the process of correcting one mistake, because he has wronged one person, he is making another mistake, would be wronging another person. Sometimes one has to make a choice and it is definitely going to be a tough one. One can’t make everyone happy.

I am sorry but I never believed that Pakhi wanted EMA. She has done many wrong things, she has also tried to get close to him but she had actually not thought of any of these but she just couldn’t control herself the more and more she saw Sai and Virat together. She failed to control her jealousy.

Ofcourse Pakhi created a lot of issues but I am not sure if she is the only reason for where they all are here today. She has been vile and her actions cannot be compared to Sai or Virat but unfortunately Virat had done quite a few things which is also why he is in this position today.

As you know I don’t and have never doubted Virat’s intentions. Like how I say that even if Sai’s intentions are right, her approach has not been right in a few things. The same way even if Virat never intended to do certain things, he has not been mindful of what he was or what he is is doing.

Originally posted by: laksh

Please don’t be sorry to put across your views. Our views need not match in a few things or even many things 😀.

I would say that his actions were that of a mixed feeling. I am not saying that he kept looking at her romantically, he looked at Pakhi knowing that it would hurt her because they both should have been in that position if things went well. He could understand that she would be hurt and so along with the guilt that he has moved on, that he couldn’t keep his promise, he also looked at her empathising her since he had let her down by turning her proposal down and had part ways.

I have noticed Virat looking at Sai if she is comfortable or not during the rasam or even when he saw that they had decorated their room on the reception night. But he had kept looking at Pakhi, understanding how she would be feeling. That understanding as I have said about wasn’t just guilt that he had got married or he didn’t keep his promise, it was also because he knew that Pakhi would be hurt looking at him and Sai together like that. The problem is he didn’t even think that when he doesn’t mask his emotions, his empathy for Pakhi or his understanding, he would only be encouraging her to continue to feel bad about the whole thing. That is where I am saying he has failed. It is very important sometimes to even become a wrong or a bad person to ensure we do what is right.

About the Ladakh trip, it always doesn’t matter as what he thinks at the end but setting things right should be the need of the hour always. He should ensure that he doesn’t give her any wrong signals, doesn’t encourage her to even propose such disgusting things whether or not he is married, whether or not Sai was in the room.

He shouldn’t be thinking and doing things based on how it would impact Sai or Pakhi but instead should be doing things which is right. Stopping Pakhi from even offering such a thing is the only right thing to do at that point of time.

The guilty thing is a topic by itself 🤣🤣. I have a mixed feeling about it and it all depends on the situation. He can feel guilty for the position that he has put Pakhi in but to correct one wrong, he shouldn’t make another mistake. In the process of correcting one mistake, because he has wronged one person, he is making another mistake, would be wronging another person. Sometimes one has to make a choice and it is definitely going to be a tough one. One can’t make everyone happy.

I am sorry but I never believed that Pakhi wanted EMA. She has done many wrong things, she has also tried to get close to him but she had actually not thought of any of these but she just couldn’t control herself the more and more she saw Sai and Virat together. She failed to control her jealousy.

Ofcourse Pakhi created a lot of issues but I am not sure if she is the only reason for where they all are here today. She has been vile and her actions cannot be compared to Sai or Virat but unfortunately Virat had done quite a few things which is also why he is in this position today.

As you know I don’t and have never doubted Virat’s intentions. Like how I say that even if Sai’s intentions are right, her approach has not been right in a few things. The same way even if Virat never intended to do certain things, he has not been mindful of what he was or what he is is doing.

Laksh,

I feel as though even if we might disagree on some of the details here, we are kind of saying the same thing. When you say that he was empathizing with her, that to me, is encompassed within his feelings of guilt. Him knowing that Pakhi would be hurting looking at him and Sai, is once again, to me, his guilt.

As you have said, the problem is that Virat "did not even think....." Insert this sentence into literally any of his behavior, and it will sum up the entire problem. Virat does not think. He only feels. Not to sound like a broken record, but this is why I keep coming back to his emotional issues. He cannot look beyond his own feelings into other people's POVs- be it Sai, Samrat, or Pakhi. This is the root cause of many of the issues that he has unintentionally created in all of their lives.

In terms of Pakhi and EMA, I will personally admit that while I consider myself to be a very balanced and unbiased person, I cannot seem to get myself to look at things from any POV that would garner her any sympathy. So, I don't want to comment much more on this, because I am unable to properly analyze due to my own despise for her (which I feel as though she deserves). I will say though, the way she constantly came into their bedroom in the middle of the night, hinted for Sai to leave the room so that she could be alone with him, tried to get close to him by feeding him and arise other emotions in him... all hints towards a want for EMA to begin with. In fact, the very idea of her marrying his brother just to be in the same house as him... to me, implies a desire for some sort of EMA... maybe not in the traditional sense, but definitely in a way that is unacceptable.

Nethraa.. forgot to tag you.. please look at mine and Laksh's conversation over the past 2 pages regarding guilt and Virat's emotional issues if you are still interested 🤣 I am sure you are probably tired of hearing me talk about this by now 😆

Originally posted by: laksh

Please don’t be sorry to put across your views. Our views need not match in a few things or even many things 😀.

I would say that his actions were that of a mixed feeling. I am not saying that he kept looking at her romantically, he looked at Pakhi knowing that it would hurt her because they both should have been in that position if things went well. He could understand that she would be hurt and so along with the guilt that he has moved on, that he couldn’t keep his promise, he also looked at her empathising her since he had let her down by turning her proposal down and had part ways.

I have noticed Virat looking at Sai if she is comfortable or not during the rasam or even when he saw that they had decorated their room on the reception night. But he had kept looking at Pakhi, understanding how she would be feeling. That understanding as I have said about wasn’t just guilt that he had got married or he didn’t keep his promise, it was also because he knew that Pakhi would be hurt looking at him and Sai together like that. The problem is he didn’t even think that when he doesn’t mask his emotions, his empathy for Pakhi or his understanding, he would only be encouraging her to continue to feel bad about the whole thing. That is where I am saying he has failed. It is very important sometimes to even become a wrong or a bad person to ensure we do what is right.

About the Ladakh trip, it always doesn’t matter as what he thinks at the end but setting things right should be the need of the hour always. He should ensure that he doesn’t give her any wrong signals, doesn’t encourage her to even propose such disgusting things whether or not he is married, whether or not Sai was in the room.

He shouldn’t be thinking and doing things based on how it would impact Sai or Pakhi but instead should be doing things which is right. Stopping Pakhi from even offering such a thing is the only right thing to do at that point of time.

The guilty thing is a topic by itself 🤣🤣. I have a mixed feeling about it and it all depends on the situation. He can feel guilty for the position that he has put Pakhi in but to correct one wrong, he shouldn’t make another mistake. In the process of correcting one mistake, because he has wronged one person, he is making another mistake, would be wronging another person. Sometimes one has to make a choice and it is definitely going to be a tough one. One can’t make everyone happy.

I am sorry but I never believed that Pakhi wanted EMA. She has done many wrong things, she has also tried to get close to him but she had actually not thought of any of these but she just couldn’t control herself the more and more she saw Sai and Virat together. She failed to control her jealousy.

Ofcourse Pakhi created a lot of issues but I am not sure if she is the only reason for where they all are here today. She has been vile and her actions cannot be compared to Sai or Virat but unfortunately Virat had done quite a few things which is also why he is in this position today.

As you know I don’t and have never doubted Virat’s intentions. Like how I say that even if Sai’s intentions are right, her approach has not been right in a few things. The same way even if Virat never intended to do certain things, he has not been mindful of what he was or what he is is doing.

@bold

This we cannot blame him totally right. It is only human to behave in a way that doesnt hurt others. I still say he was over pakhi the moment she got married. But he knows she might be feeling bad so he 'considers' it and acts accordingly. It does not mean he had residual feelings for her. He has sympathy and guilt for sure...two best examples I can think of which says Virat is over pakhi atleast at romantic level.

1. He was NOT feeling an inch bad on their wedding night. Moreover he was worried why samrat was not in her room. All he talked about that night was how samrat could be a great husband to her. Only when She screamed ILU on phone he was pushed into guilt mode. He did not ponder over her call till the next day.

2. The night he brought sai home, and the terrace conversation with sunny. He wanted Sai to get the respect she deserves in his home. It meant long term. It was never a deal in his mind. He understands the rules of marriage. Also when he stopped Pakhi to ask her a favor, she expected something but Virat wanted her to guide sai so sai is accepted in the house.

These two incidents scream his state. He is over pakhi. But he stood by her as friend as he promised. the way he behaved with pakhi is because he understands her feelings and was 'considerate' of them.

Ok now coming to pyarosti slip up. It is a genuine out of control slip up. Damage is done due to it. But I think it is a slip up becuase, later he never expected sai to go and apologise pakhi. That night also, he was worried that he did not listen to sai when she excitedly came and talked about her results. His mind only revolved around Sai's words not about Sai talking about bringing pakhi back.

Long story short, VIrat had guilt, guilt that pakhi's life was stuck but no guilt that he married sai, at any moment. He was pretty sure of his decision on the morning of Sai's bungalow visit. He was just considerate for pakhi;s feeling which gave Sai wrong signals. May be he also knows Sai's metal state at that time was around deal, so he might not have paid attention to her feelings. Hope i am clear. 😒