Originally posted by: tptwi
Virat Chavan claims to be a man of his word. He takes pride in thinking things through rationally and making decisions from which he does not waiver. But, if this entire show has revealed anything, it is that this is quite opposite from the truth. In fact, Sai, who is portrayed to be the emotional and impulsive one, is actually more level headed than Virat when it comes down to it.
Starting from the vaada that he made to Pakhi of always remaining committed to her. If he had actually thought things through, he would have realized how bizarre this is- to stay committed to his brother’s wife for the rest of his life, living in the same house, and yet never crossing the line or seeking a relationship with her. So, then, why did he make the vaada? He was overcome by guilt for both Pakhi and Samrat. He knew that Pakhi had expectations from him, but he also knew that his jeeva was in love with her. So, to him, this was the only way out that would not hurt either one of them. He could have revealed the truth and stopped this entire mess from occurring, but he was so blinded in his love for Samrat, that he could not bear to see his heart break. He thought that he would keep his emotions suppressed for the rest of his life, and this truth would be buried, enabling his brother to live a happy life. In this regard, I see this vaada as being made more for Samrat than for Pakhi even. And, why do I say this? Because, as much as Virat talks about duty, farz, and zimidari, he is driven by love. If he had ever been in love with Pakhi, he would have never married Sai to begin with.
That brings me to the next vaada. The one that Virat made to Kamal Sir of always looking after Sai and taking on her zimidari. Many think that Kamal Sir was indirectly asking Virat to marry Sai, or he at least implied it as a possibility down the line. But, the truth is, that there could have been 100 other ways for Virat to take on Sai’s zimidari without marrying her. Yes, it would have been difficult, and people would have raised questions… but, Virat could have made it work. So, then, why did he choose to marry her? I refuse to believe that it was simply due to the pressure of the villagers and him thinking that was his only option. In order to get deeper into this, we have to compare his relationship to Pakhi with his relationship to Sai at this point in the story.
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Virat thought that he was in love with Pakhi, because she was the first girl that he ever had any kind of feelings towards. As much as I hate to agree with the yoga instructor, he perhaps did feel a chemistry with her. But, it was evident in all of those yoga resort episodes, that their connection was mostly that of a physical attraction…of that of lust. For someone who does not know what love is, it is quite easy to mix infatuation with love. Perhaps she was also the type of girl whom he imagined he would end up with, further adding to his illusions. After all, she is the textbook bahu for his family, and I think he knew that- just look at her now- all of the elders are obsessed with her.
Coming to Virat’s relationship with Sai. In order to understand this, we must first look at his relationship with Kamal Sir. It is evident that Virat loved Kamal Sir. His passing touched him in a way that surpassed what one feels when their teacher or guru dies. He had the utmost respect for him, and considered him a father figure even. Perhaps he tried to find missing pieces of his own father in Kamal Sir. As much as Virat considered himself to be close to his own baba, he grew up seeing the ways in which his morals faltered, namely with his very own mother. When compared to this nasty behavior, Kamal Sir is the very definition of dignity, respect, and morality.
Bearing all of this in mind, Virat had a soft spot for Sai from the moment he met her. Because above all else, she was the daughter of one of the most important people in Virat’s life- Kamal Sir. Come to think of it, Virat making the vaada to Kamal Sir to always look after Sai was out of love for Kamal Sir more than out of any duty or farz. Again, Virat’s driving force is love above all else.
So, then, we look at Virat and Sai’s relationship outside of Kamal Sir. Virat grew up in a household where people were not allowed to be happy. People were not allowed to speak their minds. Despite being a police officer, Virat never gave himself permission to stand up against wrong in his own family. Calling all of this toxic would be an understatement. Sai challenged his perception of the world from the day he met her. She stood on a stage in front of hundreds of people and told him that she would not touch his feet, because that spot is reserved for abba. I don’t think he had ever met someone with so much conviction and courage before… because, at the end of the day, it is easy to show your courage in the battlefield, but it is harder to speak up in personal matters when it may create conflicts or rips in the status quo. Moving on from this first encounter, Sai never failed to call him out when she believed he was wrong. I wonder if Virat had ever been called out like that…especially since his family was always obsessed with him. Virat also saw the ways in which Sai freely expressed herself… freely cried, laughed, was angry…all things that he never gave himself permission to do, nor which he saw in his own family. The bond between Sai and Kamal Sir was one that was completely foreign to Virat…one that he could have only ever imagined having with anyone in his own family. Couple all of this up with, yes, a physical attraction he felt towards Sai…and he was already falling in love with her. But, due to his own ideas of love was supposed to be like and misconception that he was in love with Pakhi, he did not recognize any of this. It spoke volumes that when he was dropping her back to abba’s house, he asked her if she would remember if. If she would come visit him in Nagpur. Even then, he did not want her to forget him. And then, perhaps the biggest giveaway of all- he chose to save her instead of going to Pakhi’s wedding…when Pakhi was professing her love to him on the phone, all he could think about was Sai and her bright future. Virat was personally offended when Sai said that she would not marry him even if he was the last person on this planet. In all of this, we see thousands of more connections and emotions than we ever saw with him and Pakhi.
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So, keeping all of this in mind, Virat decided to marry Sai. This was not out of his duty… this was out of his love for Kamal Sir, but also his budding subconscious feelings for Sai. Even if it was not a romantic love, it was the type of love you have for family… it was the type of love you have for someone you can never wish badly for… and this is evident to this day…these are the bonds that form the basis of SaiRat’s relationship.
Now… coming to the *most* dreaded vaada of all time. The one Virat made to Sai on their wedding day. The one in which he told her to never expect anything from him as a husband and that she would just be a zimidari to him. Again, as much as he likes to think he is driven by duty, his guiding force in life is his emotions. Once again, he was not thinking rationally….in fact, I don’t believe he was thinking at all. Yes, a part of it was that he was mistaking his infatuation for love…but more than that, it was once again, his guilt. And, this time, it was his guilt towards Pakhi. He had already made the vaada to her, and he did not want to betray her. But, the most ironic thing about this entire situation is that Virat had promised Pakhi he would always remain committed to her, and yet, he got married to Sai… marriage being the purest, holiest commitment two people can share in life. This just once again goes to show that Pakhi has always been the side piece in Virat’s love for Samrat and Sai (and through that Kamal Sir). He has not realized it, but his actions have shown that she has suffered the collateral damage of his feelings for the two most important people in his life (Sai and Samrat). In terms of his initial softness towards her, I honestly attribute that to nothing more than his lingering infatuation coupled with his guilt. As soon as he started seeing her true colors, he began to retreat. However, his love for Samrat always caused him to avoid direct confrontations with Pakhi and even beg her to stay in the house, because in his mind, Pakhi is Samrat’s happiness, and he will do anything to make sure she is there when he returns home.
As we have seen time and time again, Virat says things in the heat of the moment that he does not mean… and he almost instantly regrets it…especially when it comes to Sai. And, this vaada is the most prime example of that. The very night that they return to CN after this marriage and they are talking outside together, Sai tells him that she doesn’t care about how his family treats her, because she is a limited time guest in this house and will have to leave. In that moment, he looks shattered. Fast forward to the scene where she falls and he catches her (episode of rice ceremony), he tells her that she is bringing up the deal too much and to stop talking about. He never liked hearing Sai bringing up the zimidari nor the deal…even from the very first night of their marriage, when it was fresh in both of their minds. To me, this already was showing his impending regret for uttering those words. He has regretted these words since before he ever realized his love for her.
Despite making the vaada, Virat has always treated her as more than a zimidari. The way he looked at her since the start of their marriage is not how one looks at their zimidari. The way he stood up in front of his entire family during the rice ceremony and wedding reception is not how one defends someone who is just their zimidari. And, despite making the vaada, he has always asserted his rights as her husband over her.
This is where the tragedy of this entire situation comes in. Virat made the vaada, but he was already looking past it on day one of their marriage. He said things in the heat of the moment and almost immediately forgot about it… the only times he would remember would be when he saw Pakhi or when Sai brought it up. This entire time, he has been on his journey of falling in love with Sai- even before their wedding. It has been one long, uninterrupted journey for him. It’s not even that he was able to look past the vaada… it was more that I don’t think the vaada ever even meant anything to him, because he did not realize what he was saying. But, for Sai, the vaada meant everything…and that is too much to fit into this post, so I have decided to focus on Virat here.
The disconnect between Virat’s disregard for the vaada and Sai’s emphasis on it has led us to the situation we are at today. So then, the question that seems to baffle many of us is that why does Virat just not clear this entire mess up?
To me, there are 4 parts to this:
- Commitment to Pakhi- this he has already clarified to Sai. He said it quite directly in their bedroom after the Harini bday drama. He explicitly said that he is not committed to anyone anymore. And, I truly believe that Sai understands and recognizes that. Not only because of these words, but because of his actions as well. This is the reason she feels even more guilty…because she thinks that because of her, he is no longer committed to Pakhi. She sees Pakhi roaming around being the victim, and she sees Virat’s indifference towards her. So, in her mind, the commitment no longer exists from his end, but it does from Pakhi’s end.
- The vaada does not exist anymore- Just like Sai places emphasis on words, Virat places emphasis on actions..even all of this vaada discussion shows that- his true feelings come out in the way he behaves, not the way in which he speaks. And, the way in which he behaves is so driven by his own emotions, that they become all-encompassing… the exact reason why he loves blindly. At this point in the story, Virat is so blinded in his own love for Sai, that he is unable to look at things from her perspective. The feelings of a first love are raw and all-encompassing, and for someone like Virat who is already such an emotional person, think about how much heightened it must all be. He does not even realize how deeply she has been impacted by the vaada, because to him, it never really existed….and he always was put off whenever she brought it up. And, it does not help, that Sai has put up her own defenses and guards, that prevent Virat from seeing the extent to which she is impacted. It is quite telling to me whenever in his monologues, he questions why Sai isn’t understanding the place she holds in his life… because to him, his actions should be enough to prove that to her.
- Confession of love- Virat is terrified of losing Sai. The way in which she has put up her defenses have made it seem to him, especially now, after the anniversary fight, that she could never love him. Even before their latest fight, Sai’s rough exterior and the way in which she questions him about his feelings and relationship status towards her is always guarded by her rough exterior. Virat would rather stay in whatever messy relationship this is than to risk losing the love of his life. It was quite telling when he asks Sai at Lover’s Point if she would confess under these same circumstances, and she without hesitation, said yes. This is how these two are different. Virat lacks the ability to take such risks due to his own issues of self-confidence… and what contributes more to this, is that he feels as though he does not deserve Sai and/or that she is too good for him. We have witnessed this time and time again… one of the most powerful moments being when he asks Sai if she is from Maya Nagri after she unites Devi and Kaku.
- The place Pakhi holds in his life- this point is quite similar to point 2. Virat has severely put Pakhi in her place twice now- once during KBA, and once during the post-accident confrontation. It is clear that the only person in his life and in his heart is Sai. So, in my mind, the reason why he does not clarify this to Sai is because again, he does not realize the extent to which it is impacting her. Although she has voiced her concerns here and there, she has mostly repressed them, seeing as she does not feel like she has the right to be able to be possessive over him. While Virat has had outbursts every time he has felt insecure, Sai has tried to move past her own feelings, as the poor girl does not feel like she deserves to even have these feelings. Every time Sai brings up Pakhi, Virat honestly seems baffled. Think about the car scene on the way to the hotel- Virat was exacerbated and utterly confused as to why Sai was bringing her up. Because to him, through his actions, it should be crystal clear as to what he feels about her. The fact that he is blinded in his own emotions again plays a part here, because he cannot look past his own feelings to see through Sai’s outer facade. I won’t analyze the anniversary fight as a part of this…because, yes, that was another opportunity for him to see the extent to which Sai is impacted and clear it all. But, he was quite honestly in shock and in such deep hurt at the way in which Sai was speaking… I thought everything Sai said was spot on, but she lost the chance to have things clarified due to the way in which she came across. Virat was to deep into his own pain at that point to be able to see where Sai was coming from.
I guess that all of this is to say that I do not believe Virat has ever intentionally covered up his past. He has never tried to keep this can of worms covered. Even after the Harini fight, he kept asking Sai what she had heard so that he could clarify it. He remained silent in front of the entire family, and boy did I want to kill him that day. But, that was not an attempt to cover up his past with Pakhi…that was his discontent with the way the entire situation was being handled and the way in which Sai was behaving. This same situation occurred during the Ladhak fight- Sai was accusing him of still being in love with Pakhi, but all he could do was stand there and cry… because he was utterly heartbroken. All he could say was that everything Sai has said is a lie… because, already, he was realizing his feelings for Sai… perhaps if they had sat down and talked about it, it could have all been cleared up then. But, the way in which Sai came across, broke him. This is a constant trend in their relationship- Sai’s harsh outer layers scare him and make him retreat. When Sai calmly said that there is a third person in between them after the ring gifting, he was ready to clear up everything then. But, alas, that moment too was ruined because of Pakhi lurking outside of their bedroom. Even during the anniversary fight, he told Sai that what the yoga instructor was saying was true at a point in time… in that, he acknowledged that he did have certain feelings towards Pakhi at the yoga resort.
So now, moving forward… where are we left?
As I said above, Sai and Samrat are the two most important people in Virat’s life. Both of them saved his life in one way or another…Samrat literally, and Sai taught him how to live. This upcoming track is going to test his loyalties to both…he is going to have to learn how to balance these two unwavering loves he has. In trying to save Samrat’s marriage with Pakhi, his own marriage with Sai will suffer. These are the dynamics that he will have to navigate. I honestly believe this track has infinite potential if handled properly!
Ok…ramblings over… 🤣
Udne Ki Aasha
Jaane Anjaane Hum Mile
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