Why do they need space from each other? - Page 3

Originally posted by: tptwi

Beautifully written post, Asmi. Your words are magical ❤️

I still think that an honest, deep, and vulnerable heart to heart conversation can solve many, if not, all of their issues. But, that is not going to happen, so I have made peace with it. And, often times in life, people are unable to say what they want to say. Communication is key, but it takes time to be able to develop that level of comfort and courage to express yourself. At this point, Virat and Sai are so deep within their own emotions that they don't even realize this conversation is needed... so yes, a separation seems to be the only way that they will realize how the other feels about them.

Your most made me think of a quote that I really love by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.... "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction." What is so painful is that both Sai and Virat's hopes for the future are the same...to be bound together in this relationship forever. But, due to their individual fears and insecurities, they are not seeing that. Up until now, they have been letting themselves go with the flow, acting as husband and wife, only to be rudely awakened by the weight of the past time and time again. In a sense, they have been gazing at each other...taking each other in, but they have been unable to look outward, because of the fear of the future. In this way, they are haunted by both their past and their future....

I agree with you that the fear of losing each other has been mutual... it is not just Virat who has experienced it. This fear of their life together being time bound, unfortunately, is at the very backbone of this relationship. However, there is one thing to have a constant looming fear in the pit of your stomach, and it is an entirely different thing for that fear to become all-encompassing. Virat has felt that all-encompassing fear...he has felt it when he has so badly hurt Sai and thought that she will never forgive him. Sai, on the other hand, has not been triggered to that same extent. In fact, it speaks volumes that whenever she brings up this relationship ending, she always says that a day will come when she will have to leave Virat. So, I think, perhaps subconsciously, she knows and has accepted that Virat will not leave her ever... that he will do everything in his power to keep this relationship going for the rest of their lives. So, when he starts to distance himself, this will force her to question a lot of things... it will force her to try to understand what is going on in his mind, just like how he will be forced to try to understand why his indifference is impacting her so much.

This journey is going to be a painful one, because it is one thing to be entirely separated, but it is another thing to be together, yet emotionally distanced, feeling the space between yourselves grow larger. And, it won't be so easy for Virat to go through with his words, nor to watch how all of this is impacting Sai...and what makes it all even more painful is that ultimately, he is not doing this to protect himself, but rather because he believes this is the only way for Sai to be happy.... But, to me, while on the surface SaiRat will be moving apart, their hearts will be moving closer and closer together....

@italic beautiful quote and so so well written ❤️❤️

@bold again beautiful words to define their emotions. Yes for everyone around them and for themselves they are moving apart but the opposite is happening to their Heart 🥺🥺🥺

I know I shouldn't expect too much from Ghum, but I she a positive feeling about the upcoming track 🤣🤣

Beautiful post Asmi.

Loved the below line, described so beautifully ❤️.

Sai keeps on talking on how she would leave , she would leave while for Virat its the trigger that activates his fear and for Sai its the way she controls her fear.

I think the role will get reversed now with Virat trying to protect himself or trying to detach himself which will activate that fear in Sai 😀.

Though we all wanted Virat to open up about his past, I am all up for this too even if it means they are going to be in pain. There are a certain things that I have always felt that Sai also should have thought about. I am with her when it comes about him and Pakhi but she has to give more weightage to him and his feelings than feeling sorry for Pakhi. I do understand why she feels that way and where it is all coming from but there are a few instances that she should have thought about. He gave her the rights when they were at the hospital when he got shot, he pleaded with her to not leave the house, he told her that he had ended his commitment and stopped her from leaving the house with liberty. When she liked him stopping like that, even if everytime something happens like Pakhi comes in between them or anything, it would only make sense that the girl opens her eyes and heart and try to understand what’s happening than always staying under the impression that he loves Pakhi. Things can be confusing but she also hasn’t thought about a few things which anyone would. Whether or not she understands he has feelings for her, she could see that he was acting jealous as a husband and she told that in front of Ajinkya too. She understands so much that he gets possessive about her and why would he if he loves Pakhi. It can be confusing but she should think. I blame the makers too that they never showed us Sai thinking about it or never gave us a monologue of Sai until recently. Her mind state about this should have been shown to the audience all along to show her confusion, to show her turmoil.

I have told this another post too, while doing a copy paste, they always leave out the essence of the story, of the characters. Sai is a very sensible and practical girl. Her intuitions have always been good but they show her clueless many times. I can understand her acting clueless given the equation of Virat and Pakhi and especially Pakhi’s claim, behavior and accusation and Virat’s annoying silence but that doesn’t mean that she would never try to think.

Why would he want her to take care of him in the hospital? Why would he run to meet her at the hospital from his bed yelling her name when Pakhi was there and fall on the ground like that? Why would he call her before going to the mission which even she had herself realised? Why would he say that he was dying when he saw her in the hospital dying? Even if she thinks Virat was doing it all as a husband and so as to not hurt her because he is a good man, she didn’t try to think anything else to be the reason too. I am okay with her acting indifferent or angry with Virat so as to not fall for him, so as to not feel foolish later that she has misunderstood it all but I am not okay that she waivers a few times. She takes liberty sometimes and then gets upset with him when he does the same. I know she is in denial, having conflicting emotions and thoughts but she has to stop saying that he loves Pakhi even after that guy keeps repeating that she is just his past. He is also foolish and very annoying but she also doesn’t let him finish what he is about to say. It is so difficult for our Raja babu to open up and she wouldn’t even let him explain even if he tries to. He was also quite annoying. When she said all that rather than destroying the cake, can’t he have cleared all the misconceptions? They are both fools who needs to stay away from each other to understand the importance of each other in their life and I believe that is what you have written in your post in a beautiful way. I have bashed them in your beautiful post. Sorry about that but couldn’t stop myself from ranting all of a sudden 🙈.

I do understand Sai and her position, the reason for her being like this. I also know how wrong Virat has been all the time by not clarifying to her about him and Pakhi and not showing Pakhi her place. He is annoying even now especially while using wrong words like zimmedari and fails to open his mouth when needed but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t give any of these a thought. She should have also given a thought to a lot of things. I know a lot of factors are involved for why she is failing to and that is why many of us felt that Sai needs someone, how she needs guidance or help from someone.

I also blame the makers because they don’t know how to stretch or drag the story, how to delay the confession and they have made one act indifferent and another stay mum even when he has to open his mouth. They will now make him distance himself from her. Even if it is going to be painful, let’s watch how Sai connects the dot in the coming tracks to understand that he loves her and not Pakhi.

I agree with the last part of your post and that’s what I feel too.

Having said all of the above about Sai, I also feel that Virat making Sai feel special or not doesn’t matter at all. All that matters would be his love for her, how much he cares for her and give her a safe place and environment to live in. He should do what is needed the most wrt Pakhi and clearing confusion about his past, clearing the mess that he had created.

Sorry Asmi. You have written such a beautiful post and I have bashed both of them 🤭.

Wow...such a beautiful post❤️

It was very balanced and one felt like we were walking around in Virat and Sai's shoes while reading it....

I will add my comments here when I'm free...

Originally posted by: laksh

Beautiful post Asmi.

Loved the below line, described so beautifully ❤️.

Sai keeps on talking on how she would leave , she would leave while for Virat its the trigger that activates his fear and for Sai its the way she controls her fear.

I think the role will get reversed now with Virat trying to protect himself or trying to detach himself which will activate that fear in Sai 😀.

Though we all wanted Virat to open up about his past, I am all up for this too even if it means they are going to be in pain. There are a certain things that I have always felt that Sai also should have thought about. I am with her when it comes about him and Pakhi but she has to give more weightage to him and his feelings than feeling sorry for Pakhi. I do understand why she feels that way and where it is all coming from but there are a few instances that she should have thought about. He gave her the rights when they were at the hospital when he got shot, he pleaded with her to not leave the house, he told her that he had ended his commitment and stopped her from leaving the house with liberty. When she liked him stopping like that, even if everytime something happens like Pakhi comes in between them or anything, it would only make sense that the girl opens her eyes and heart and try to understand what’s happening than always staying under the impression that he loves Pakhi. Things can be confusing but she also hasn’t thought about a few things which anyone would. Whether or not she understands he has feelings for her, she could see that he was acting jealous as a husband and she told that in front of Ajinkya too. She understands so much that he gets possessive about her and why would he if he loves Pakhi. It can be confusing but she should think. I blame the makers too that they never showed us Sai thinking about it or never gave us a monologue of Sai until recently. Her mind state about this should have been shown to the audience all along to show her confusion, to show her turmoil.

I have told this another post too, while doing a copy paste, they always leave out the essence of the story, of the characters. Sai is a very sensible and practical girl. Her intuitions have always been good but they show her clueless many times. I can understand her acting clueless given the equation of Virat and Pakhi and especially Pakhi’s claim, behavior and accusation and Virat’s annoying silence but that doesn’t mean that she would never try to think.

Why would he want her to take care of him in the hospital? Why would he run to meet her at the hospital from his bed yelling her name when Pakhi was there and fall on the ground like that? Why would he call her before going to the mission which even she had herself realised? Why would he say that he was dying when he saw her in the hospital dying? Even if she thinks Virat was doing it all as a husband and so as to not hurt her because he is a good man, she didn’t try to think anything else to be the reason too. I am okay with her acting indifferent or angry with Virat so as to not fall for him, so as to not feel foolish later that she has misunderstood it all but I am not okay that she waivers a few times. She takes liberty sometimes and then gets upset with him when he does the same. I know she is in denial, having conflicting emotions and thoughts but she has to stop saying that he loves Pakhi even after that guy keeps repeating that she is just his past. He is also foolish and very annoying but she also doesn’t let him finish what he is about to say. It is so difficult for our Raja babu to open up and she wouldn’t even let him explain even if he tries to. He was also quite annoying. When she said all that rather than destroying the cake, can’t he have cleared all the misconceptions? They are both fools who needs to stay away from each other to understand the importance of each other in their life and I believe that is what you have written in your post in a beautiful way. I have bashed them in your beautiful post. Sorry about that but couldn’t stop myself from ranting all of a sudden 🙈.

I do understand Sai and her position, the reason for her being like this. I also know how wrong Virat has been all the time by not clarifying to her about him and Pakhi and not showing Pakhi her place. He is annoying even now especially while using wrong words like zimmedari and fails to open his mouth when needed but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t give any of these a thought. She should have also given a thought to a lot of things. I know a lot of factors are involved for why she is failing to and that is why many of us felt that Sai needs someone, how she needs guidance or help from someone.

I also blame the makers because they don’t know how to stretch or drag the story, how to delay the confession and they have made one act indifferent and another stay mum even when he has to open his mouth. They will now make him distance himself from her. Even if it is going to be painful, let’s watch how Sai connects the dot in the coming tracks to understand that he loves her and not Pakhi.

I agree with the last part of your post and that’s what I feel too.

Having said all of the above about Sai, I also feel that Virat making Sai feel special or not doesn’t matter at all. All that matters would be his love for her, how much he cares for her and give her a safe place and environment to live in. He should do what is needed the most wrt Pakhi and clearing confusion about his past, clearing the mess that he had created.

Sorry Asmi. You have written such a beautiful post and I have bashed both of them 🤭.

Arey they both deserve your bashes.. so no apology accepted or expected...

@red Even I would think it then when the show was actually telecasting these episodes..I was so confused with her behaviour and with her I would leave when you are fine .. and BAM came Harinis's birthday and that confrontation.. and her talk to Virakhi rather herself on how she was dreaming and she forgot things..You know if that would not have happened, she would surely have thought about it , about Virats' behaviour..But with that confrontation,specially since she witnessed Pakhi talking about her dreams got her in shock and gave her a reality check..A reality check on the terms and conditions of the marriage ... She reprimanded herself for it and not anyone else for treading in the way where she has has no manzil.... and that led her to switch off all those buttons that had to do with understanding Virat and his gestures..

The problem is that these idiots never give her monologues. They don't have someone to whom she can tell freely about her emotions..Every one from Aayi to Mohit to Shivani comes to her with an intention of uniting her with Virat and not understanding her insecurities .so they are useless that way... After ages we saw her talking to herself in those respects on this trip..Sai is difficult to understand and then to make people see her perspective...well wo toh chor hi do!! She spoils that opportunity with her brash attitude with Raja Babu Virat..

Originally posted by: tptwi

Beautifully written post, Asmi. Your words are magical ❤️

I still think that an honest, deep, and vulnerable heart to heart conversation can solve many, if not, all of their issues. But, that is not going to happen, so I have made peace with it. And, often times in life, people are unable to say what they want to say. Communication is key, but it takes time to be able to develop that level of comfort and courage to express yourself. At this point, Virat and Sai are so deep within their own emotions that they don't even realize this conversation is needed... so yes, a separation seems to be the only way that they will realize how the other feels about them.

Your most made me think of a quote that I really love by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.... "Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but looking outward together in the same direction." What is so painful is that both Sai and Virat's hopes for the future are the same...to be bound together in this relationship forever. But, due to their individual fears and insecurities, they are not seeing that. Up until now, they have been letting themselves go with the flow, acting as husband and wife, only to be rudely awakened by the weight of the past time and time again. In a sense, they have been gazing at each other...taking each other in, but they have been unable to look outward, because of the fear of the future. In this way, they are haunted by both their past and their future....

I agree with you that the fear of losing each other has been mutual... it is not just Virat who has experienced it. This fear of their life together being time bound, unfortunately, is at the very backbone of this relationship. However, there is one thing to have a constant looming fear in the pit of your stomach, and it is an entirely different thing for that fear to become all-encompassing. Virat has felt that all-encompassing fear...he has felt it when he has so badly hurt Sai and thought that she will never forgive him. Sai, on the other hand, has not been triggered to that same extent. In fact, it speaks volumes that whenever she brings up this relationship ending, she always says that a day will come when she will have to leave Virat. So, I think, perhaps subconsciously, she knows and has accepted that Virat will not leave her ever... that he will do everything in his power to keep this relationship going for the rest of their lives. So, when he starts to distance himself, this will force her to question a lot of things... it will force her to try to understand what is going on in his mind, just like how he will be forced to try to understand why his indifference is impacting her so much.

This journey is going to be a painful one, because it is one thing to be entirely separated, but it is another thing to be together, yet emotionally distanced, feeling the space between yourselves grow larger. And, it won't be so easy for Virat to go through with his words, nor to watch how all of this is impacting Sai...and what makes it all even more painful is that ultimately, he is not doing this to protect himself, but rather because he believes this is the only way for Sai to be happy.... But, to me, while on the surface SaiRat will be moving apart, their hearts will be moving closer and closer together....

Oh yes I was looking for that word..For Virat that fear of losing her is all compassing..self consuming..and the kind of self doubt he has..it makes it worse for him...He needs to now protect himself from this self consuming love and fear.. He needs to be loved back by this woman because honestly he is dying ..

Practically two options for such couples

Either they move out together because third party involvement continuously affecting their relationship. Be it Virat's ex who never leaves a chance harass his wife or his twisted family who never ever give them a space for their own. Today episode is the proof. Never knew that joint family dynamics are like that .Husband -wife are not allowed to go on a trip .If there were NO pp or demented kaku in the picture there would be so much progress between the two.

Second option is since two fools can't express that they are in love with each other whats the point living a 5 years of apparent loveless life .Virat's decision was very practical. It's very painful having the love by his side but practically there is no spousal relationship between the both. It's completely hopeless. It will pave a way for them to rethink or reestablish their love for each other from scratches. So they need that space.

ITS ITV I KNOW NITHER OF TGEM WILL HAPPEN. TRP AUDIENCE DONT LIKE SUCH PRACTICAL AND REALISTIC TRACKS.AS USUAL SAI BAI WILL BE RELUCTANT TO LEAVE VIRAT AND HE WILL MELT SEING HER FACE. AS A RESULT CRY BUCKETS TO STOP HIS BAIKO.

Originally posted by: Shaome

Practically two options for such couples

Either they move out together because third party involvement continuously affecting their relationship. Be it Virat's ex who never leaves a chance harass his wife or his twisted family who never ever give them a space for their own. Today episode is the proof. Never knew that joint family dynamics are like that .Husband -wife are not allowed to go on a trip .If there were NO pp or demented kaku in the picture there would be so much progress between the two.

Second option is since two fools can't express that they are in love with each other whats the point living a 5 years of apparent loveless life .Virat's decision was very practical. It's very painful having the love by his side but practically there is no spousal relationship between the both. It's completely hopeless. It will pave a way for them to rethink or reestablish their love for each other from scratches. So they need that space.

ITS ITV I KNOW NITHER OF TGEM WILL HAPPEN. TRP AUDIENCE DONT LIKE SUCH PRACTICAL AND REALISTIC TRACKS.AS USUAL SAI BAI WILL BE RELUCTANT TO LEAVE VIRAT AND HE WILL MELT SEING HER FACE. AS A RESULT CRY BUCKETS TO STOP HIS BAIKO.

Practicality hata kar hi humne post banaya hai..But honestly looking at these two and how they feel about each other..Virat distancing himself emotionally from Sai for like a month or two would do wonders for them...

Originally posted by: laksh

Beautiful post Asmi.

Loved the below line, described so beautifully ❤️.

Sai keeps on talking on how she would leave , she would leave while for Virat its the trigger that activates his fear and for Sai its the way she controls her fear.

I think the role will get reversed now with Virat trying to protect himself or trying to detach himself which will activate that fear in Sai 😀.

Though we all wanted Virat to open up about his past, I am all up for this too even if it means they are going to be in pain. There are a certain things that I have always felt that Sai also should have thought about. I am with her when it comes about him and Pakhi but she has to give more weightage to him and his feelings than feeling sorry for Pakhi. I do understand why she feels that way and where it is all coming from but there are a few instances that she should have thought about. He gave her the rights when they were at the hospital when he got shot, he pleaded with her to not leave the house, he told her that he had ended his commitment and stopped her from leaving the house with liberty. When she liked him stopping like that, even if everytime something happens like Pakhi comes in between them or anything, it would only make sense that the girl opens her eyes and heart and try to understand what’s happening than always staying under the impression that he loves Pakhi. Things can be confusing but she also hasn’t thought about a few things which anyone would. Whether or not she understands he has feelings for her, she could see that he was acting jealous as a husband and she told that in front of Ajinkya too. She understands so much that he gets possessive about her and why would he if he loves Pakhi. It can be confusing but she should think. I blame the makers too that they never showed us Sai thinking about it or never gave us a monologue of Sai until recently. Her mind state about this should have been shown to the audience all along to show her confusion, to show her turmoil.

I have told this another post too, while doing a copy paste, they always leave out the essence of the story, of the characters. Sai is a very sensible and practical girl. Her intuitions have always been good but they show her clueless many times. I can understand her acting clueless given the equation of Virat and Pakhi and especially Pakhi’s claim, behavior and accusation and Virat’s annoying silence but that doesn’t mean that she would never try to think.

Why would he want her to take care of him in the hospital? Why would he run to meet her at the hospital from his bed yelling her name when Pakhi was there and fall on the ground like that? Why would he call her before going to the mission which even she had herself realised? Why would he say that he was dying when he saw her in the hospital dying? Even if she thinks Virat was doing it all as a husband and so as to not hurt her because he is a good man, she didn’t try to think anything else to be the reason too. I am okay with her acting indifferent or angry with Virat so as to not fall for him, so as to not feel foolish later that she has misunderstood it all but I am not okay that she waivers a few times. She takes liberty sometimes and then gets upset with him when he does the same. I know she is in denial, having conflicting emotions and thoughts but she has to stop saying that he loves Pakhi even after that guy keeps repeating that she is just his past. He is also foolish and very annoying but she also doesn’t let him finish what he is about to say. It is so difficult for our Raja babu to open up and she wouldn’t even let him explain even if he tries to. He was also quite annoying. When she said all that rather than destroying the cake, can’t he have cleared all the misconceptions? They are both fools who needs to stay away from each other to understand the importance of each other in their life and I believe that is what you have written in your post in a beautiful way. I have bashed them in your beautiful post. Sorry about that but couldn’t stop myself from ranting all of a sudden 🙈.

I do understand Sai and her position, the reason for her being like this. I also know how wrong Virat has been all the time by not clarifying to her about him and Pakhi and not showing Pakhi her place. He is annoying even now especially while using wrong words like zimmedari and fails to open his mouth when needed but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t give any of these a thought. She should have also given a thought to a lot of things. I know a lot of factors are involved for why she is failing to and that is why many of us felt that Sai needs someone, how she needs guidance or help from someone.

I also blame the makers because they don’t know how to stretch or drag the story, how to delay the confession and they have made one act indifferent and another stay mum even when he has to open his mouth. They will now make him distance himself from her. Even if it is going to be painful, let’s watch how Sai connects the dot in the coming tracks to understand that he loves her and not Pakhi.

I agree with the last part of your post and that’s what I feel too.

Having said all of the above about Sai, I also feel that Virat making Sai feel special or not doesn’t matter at all. All that matters would be his love for her, how much he cares for her and give her a safe place and environment to live in. He should do what is needed the most wrt Pakhi and clearing confusion about his past, clearing the mess that he had created.

Sorry Asmi. You have written such a beautiful post and I have bashed both of them 🤭.

Laksh,

I always find it so funny that you think you are bashing characters when you are actually just pointing out some of their flaws 🤣

@bolded: I actually do think that she somewhat realizes the implications of this behavior from Virat. Isn't that why she is so confused in the first place and has said time and time again that she has a hard time understanding Virat? The crux of her problem, in my opinion, is that even though she senses his feelings towards her are way beyond a zimidari, she is unable to give herself permission to label those feelings as the unconditional love a husband has for his wife due to all of her fears and insecurities. This is the same reason why when Virat during the anniversary fight said that this is their journey and they have come so far, Sai looked entirely shattered. Because, she agreed with him...and yet, she could not label it as the journey between a husband and a wife.

But, as you have said, Sai is going to have to dig deeper down into Virat's perspective... ironically, it is going to be Virat's indifference, not his outpouring of love, that will ultimately cause her to let her walls down...

It just pains me that she won't have anyone by her side to support nor guide her, so I truly hope that Samrat can be that person for her...

Originally posted by: tptwi

Laksh,

I always find it so funny that you think you are bashing characters when you are actually just pointing out some of their flaws 🤣

@bolded: I actually do think that she somewhat realizes the implications of this behavior from Virat. Isn't that why she is so confused in the first place and has said time and time again that she has a hard time understanding Virat? The crux of her problem, in my opinion, is that even though she senses his feelings towards her are way beyond a zimidari, she is unable to give herself permission to label those feelings as the unconditional love a husband has for his wife due to all of her fears and insecurities. This is the same reason why when Virat during the anniversary fight said that this is their journey and they have come so far, Sai looked entirely shattered. Because, she agreed with him...and yet, she could not label it as the journey between a husband and a wife.

My reply there!

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/158308579

Originally posted by: asmi_joya

My reply there!

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/158308579

Completely agree with this ❤️ I have written similarly many times... the pool confrontation was a serious turning point in Sai's mindset...