Is possessiveness a sign of love? - Page 2

Liked both your perspective ❤️.

One does follow certain decorum when in a committed relationship. A little jealousy and possessiveness is fine. I guess it's about the level of comfort. It will vary from person to person. It should not go to the extent that the other person starts feeling smothered.

Originally posted by: MSgayatri

I guess any emotion in moderation is ok in any relationship. A bitsy bit of possessiveness will give spark to the relationship. But it should not go overboard either.

This is smthin u cannot generalized either. Wat is ok for me might not be for u. In the end, it is the kind of tuning u have with your partner an the way u communicate.

ITV can't really be used as a bar for any relationship. Their is exaggeration and drama, lot more than practicality.

ITV cannot be a bar for anything 🤣

My question was general - not particularly at SaiRat.

Originally posted by: Sudharies

Feelings of possessiveness might vary in degree from person to person, but when a person is in a relationship there will be a sense of possessiveness always. Especially when the concerned person have some insecurities or uncertainties about themselves or the relationship, the chances of the feeling getting too much to handle might increase. But it is a sign of love, imo. Is that healthy or toxic it depends on how the said person handles those emotions.

Virat's behaviour was the result of the uncertainty since their deal marriage hasn't taken a real marriage form yet and the insecurities he harbours over the fact that Sai is a lot younger to him and she might fall for another boy who is her age. And since they're not a normal couple , it's not an unimaginable possibility. If he had some sort of assurance that Sai isn't gonna leave him in some form, his outburst and reaction would have never gone this worse. Relationships are always complicated. It's easy to be a third person and judge others. But when a person is personally involved we can't say how their mind will work. Its human nature to err afterall. But Virat will redeem himself and he's already on that path.

I agree their strange relationship makes everything tricky and a little hard to imagine.

Originally posted by: nethraa_99

In the last episode of Ghum, Sunny advises Virat to tell Sai that he loves her so much that he cannot see her with someone else. It was a weird dialogue for me. It got me thinking about what everyone else felt about possessiveness.

To me possessiveness is suffocating, limiting. It feels like a loss of personal space and autonomy. Is it also controlling? Possessiveness can have degrees ofcourse - it can be extreme like in Virat or quite mild or something in between. It is not gender specific since both men and women can be possessive.

Where does possessiveness come from - a sense of insecurity? Or is it the result of conservative thinking? Or is it a phase in certain relationships?

All types of views are appreciated. Let us keep the discussion healthy.

For me possessiveness should be evaluated from the point of view of the other person. And possessiveness should change its form for it look meaningful in a relationship. Classic example is sairat couple.

virats possessiveness comes from jealousy, true! It is coming from his insecurity of losing his love. If sai understands his possessiveness, will she be happy or feel controlled? Obviously happy!! They feel belongingness if the other person is possessive of them. So in this phase, the possessiveness virat showed gives happiness to sai and vice versa. So I don’t think it is a negative emotion.

now few years later, sai and virat are normal couple and the virat feels possessive of her, then it might be controlling. Because by now they should have forged a bond of trust and love. They know what puts them off. I believe that in a marriage there should be ownership not possessiveness. For example: sai has a male colleague who virat thinks is too physical with her and he is not comfortable with him, then sai should understand his ‘concern’ and respect it. Same with virat. Here he is not suspecting her but just expresses his dislike. Sai should take care of her husbands wishes. Possessiveness can also be shown positively when you support your spouse when the things are not in their favor.

Possessiveness is negative when it impedes the daily routine of your partner. Checking on them, asking them too many questions , not allowing to have their own set of friends etc which suffocates the other person to the extent that it creates fear on them.

So yeah that’s what I think being possessive. Your spouses possessiveness should make you feel loved not controlled. Virats possessiveness now will make her feel loved and wanted. But not when they are a normal couple 👍

Nopes,its toxic according to me

jealousy leads to possessiveness and this leads to obsession and all 3 emotions are toxic & unhealthy when it comes to a relationship

I think that possessiveness is the result of the feeling of belonging to a person. When are are dedicated to someone, we expect the same dedication in return. And, if we feel as if we are not getting that, then we can feel left out, unimportant, hurt, and insecure. These feelings can cause us to behave and act differently… in ways that go against the traditional and idealistic views we often hold about love. Love is supposed to be selfness and it is supposed to make you value the happiness of your loved one above all else…. but possessiveness can lead us to become controlling, harsh, and even manic.

But, I think that even in those relationships where people feel as though their love is entirely reciprocated, some degree of possessiveness remains. Even those who seem entirely secure in their relationships… would they like watching their partner with someone else? Absolutely not. So, like you have said, I believe there are different degrees and forms of possessiveness… and as people get secure in their relationship, the possessiveness decreases…but it never goes away entirely…. because as much as we would like to tell ourselves that true love is selfness, to me, that is not the case…

I might even go as far as to say that if there is no feeling of possessiveness, then perhaps it is not true love. Because when you love someone that much, there is always a deep, dark fear of losing them...

I dont think possessiveness is negative unless it crosses a limit where you start caging a oerson, cutting their wings or negatively impacting your own life. I think the reason people associate love with possessiveness/jealousy is that when we love someone a lot or theyare important to us- its natural to want to be their priority. The first person they go to , the person they share everything with. So often in nascent relationships its natural. Its not just husband-w7fe but in other relationships too. First born children may get insecure about a new sibling when parents attention get divided or younger sibling may feel insecure when older one gets attention due to life changing things that happen first in older siblings life, or maybe older sibling is over achiever.

And i think possessiveness is often controlled/disappears over time when you realize that no matter how many people enter the loved ones life, your place, your importance doesn't change. But In Sairats case they are new to these feelings, love etc. So both are possessive about each other. But virats possessiveness has crossed all limits. Until he was bickering over her attention to amey/aniket/ajinkya and "cutely" jealous it was an indication even to audience that he loves Sai. But now it became toxic when he lost all reason. Sai too is insecure, possessive. And virat didnt mind it when he realized it. In an older scene, when he realized that her anger/irritation was out of possessiveness he smiled. He smiled when she admitted that she felt bad about him talking to pp.. but Sai has actually held in her jealousy/possessiveness and handles herself with a lot of composure for someone who faces her husband's ex 24x7. Even when she lost her cool she was not as bad as Virat. And she actually was saying "admit the truth, and if the truth is that you love pp, I'll get out of the way". Sheis trying to be practical. whereas virat has physically assaulted ajinkya and i dont think he has ever even entertained the idea of what if Sai were to fall in love with someone else at all ....i think that thought would break him but he has never even thought this out fully. He just reacted. We know as audience Sai loves him back but what if she didn't. I think if Sai realized his possessiveness is out of love she'd not only forgive it but may even "like" the idea as long as he wasnt character assasssinating or assaulting anyone. Even now when aai explains virat is haq jatoing, Sai accepts it but she says that does not excuse his bad behavior. she was willing to reply to his allegations as long as they were done respectfully. As long as the possessiveness doesn't cross all limits its actually reassuring to both people in the relationship because it shows how much they mean to each other.

Possessiveness is part of any relationship, it arises out of the fear of loss. A parent’s possessiveness over a child, a husband’s possessiveness or wife’s possessiveness over each other is common and even we can see this in sibling relationships.

Mild possessiveness is okay in a relationship, but when it intensifies, becomes persistent and negative the relationship turns toxic and suffocating. I believe that little possessiveness at the beginning of any relationship is common and over time, trust overpowers possessiveness.

In Virat’s case, the way he acted out of jealousy in Aniket’s case was borderline. However, in Aji’s case he let his insecurities blind him and reacted poorly. In Sai and Virat’s case, constructive communication is missing and that leads to a variety of problems.

I personally feel that mild jealousy and possessiveness can be an indicator of love, but it is not an important or even an essential factor.

Originally posted by: idkwhattoput

Love. It’s about giving and not taking. True love is selfless. Love wants the best for the person and when there is a desire of possession attached to that, often times it is derived from a coexisting lust, but in its purest form, you only want to have the other person to yourself because you believe no one else can give them what you can. No one else can sacrifice and suffer for the sake of your beloved like you can. And if you think someone else can sincerely do it better, then you’re happy to see your beloved with the other. Love is about breathing life into another heart, even if it means sometimes smothering your own.

So nice to see you back in the forum after a long time, or did I miss your posts?

Great explanation of love and possessiveness 💕💕

Originally posted by: MSgayatri

I guess any emotion in moderation is ok in any relationship. A bitsy bit of possessiveness will give spark to the relationship. But it should not go overboard either.

This is smthin u cannot generalized either. Wat is ok for me might not be for u. In the end, it is the kind of tuning u have with your partner an the way u communicate.

ITV can't really be used as a bar for any relationship. Their is exaggeration and drama, lot more than practicality.

@bold Yeah I guess it cannot be generalized as good or bad - it will vary from person to person.

It will be problematic if it goes overboard, or one partner's expectations is not okay for the other ..