CHAPTER 15
"Geet!" Maan softly called out as he knocked on her door.
No answer.
"Geet," he again called out only to receive no answer yet again. Did she sleep already? He wondered. Wanting to try one more time, he again gave a little knock, but the pressure being more this time, the door, which was not properly closed, ended up opening fully, giving him a clear view inside the room.
Quickly, he scanned the room but he didn't find her.
Then he caught sight of her, leaning slightly as she stood on the terrace, her eyes fixed on the sky in a thoughtful manner.
The transparent sliding door was closed. No wonder she didn't hear his footsteps as he made his way towards her. And then his eyes fell on something that was lying on her table. An opened diary. Geet and diary!!! That was something unknown to him. Curiosity tempted him to have a look at it although he knew it was not the right thing to do. Keeping his eyes on her, he slowly
It is a hopeless dream...
A dreamer's wish...
And nothing more than a what it'...
Somehow, some way...
Could you love me...
But it had no ground in reality...
Certainly not...
As he finished reading that little something she had scribbled on that page, he tensed a bit. A part of him had a feeling of what all this was about. He wondered whether he was thinking right. Could she...? Was she...? Did that mean...? So many things started running in his mind. He could swear he had started sweating. What he came here for and what he got to know. Or maybe, you're thinking it all wrong Maan, he told himself. Should I read more, he asked himself. And he was about to do so, when he realised why he came there in the first place itself. He had been wanting to talk to Geet ever since that party incident and then Sasha got sick and they all had to hurry to the hotel. Amidst all these, he never got to be alone with Geet. And it didn't help that she kept avoiding his gaze all the while, as she carried a red hue on her cheeks in his presence.
Desperately, he walked towards her. Hearing the door slide open, her trail of thoughts broke. She didn't have to turn around to know who it was. Acqua di Gio, of course it had to be him, she thought to herself as she discreetly inhaled his scent.
He put his hand on her shoulder to turn her around. And rightly so, she did turn around, facing him. But there was something in her eyes. Something different, he remarked, or something he always failed to remark maybe. Her eyes were literally twinkling.
Geet, he was about to say but before that, she spoke out.
"Do you like me Maan?" there she asked it. No beating around the bush, just what she had been wanting to say. Her voice was low but it had a firmness to it and confidence as well.
To say he was taken aback by her words, would be untrue. Yet, he didn't know how to reply to that and he could see the longing in her eyes... for his answer.
She gazed at him as she stood in the twilight with him, her heart and breathing both suspended as she waited for an answer... for his answer.
"Of course I do. You're a nice girl. Anyone would like you. And about me, you know I've always been fond of you," he formulated his words well, as he put his hands on either side of her head. He gazed down into her earnest young and now slightly troubled face. He knew that was not the answer she was expecting. Well part of, but she wanted to hear more and he knew that... all too well.
"You know, you're so nice that anyone would feel lucky to have you in his life," he added.
"Do you really think so?" she asked with almost pathetic eagerness and she gave a small chuckle.
Maan gave a nervous laugh, all aware where she wanted to take the whole thing.
"Yes anyone will... but that will happen at the right time. Believe me. You will just need not to rush into it, you're still a young girl, you have got plenty of time. Make the most of your time now,"
She gave a loud sigh.
"And the next thing you'll say I suppose is that one day when the right time will finally come, I will meet that nice person who will like me in that different way and will consider himself the luckiest person ever to have me in his life, with whom I'll fall irrevocably in love and then we'll go on to live happily ever after?" she said in a very mocking tone.
Maan felt amused at her choice of words. Such bitterness, he thought to himself.
"But whenever I shall fall in love, I want him to be someone like you Maan," she dared say, although in a very low voice, but he caught that. Appalled by her own guts, she dreaded him to laugh at her but he didn't do so. He was also struggling with his words, but she didn't know that.
"Uhmmm, I...I am flattered Chaashni b..."
"Geet!!!" she immediately shot.
"I'm sorry. I mean Geet. I'm flattered to know your choice but like I told you. You've got a lot of time ahe...," then he stopped, his eyes fixed on her. So he was right all along in his thoughts then?
He stopped as he saw her shaking her head negatively before adding in a voice accompanied by a touch of sadness.
"It has already happened to me Maan..."
"It has???? But you said whenever you shall...Are you actually saying what I am thinking you're saying? I mean is it all right what I am thinking?"
"That depends on what you are thinking," she said avoiding eye contact with him.
"Geet!!!"
"Yes Maan. I love you," she said it. He wanted to know right, then so be it. She had to say it someday or the other. The sooner the better, right!!!
Of course he expected that. Yet he was perplexed. How could? Since when? But how? Ahhh!!!
"But Geet. You can't..."
"No Maan, I can and I have," she broke in immediately, as her eyes rimmed with tears. "I'm sorry Maan but even I cannot help myself here," she almost pleaded. "Trust me Maan. I tried. I always tried not to love you. But I couldn't help myself. Not then and not now..."
He looked at her in surprise.
"I've loved you since always Maan. Since the first time I set my eyes on you, I grew fascinated by you. Yeh fascination kab pyaar mein tabdeel ho gaya, kuch pata hi nahi chala..." she said innocently.
"I knew you loved Sam. Yet I loved you. I know you're still not over Sam but I still love you. I'm sorry Maan, but I can't help myself from loving you," she kept apologising as tears descended along her cheeks.
Maan couldn't help but feel apologetic. He hated seeing her crying and that was what she was doing. More than that he hated himself for using her to irk Sam. Had he not kissed her, maybe he would not have evoked those past emotions in her... maybe... But he didn't use her, one part of him told himself. He enjoyed kissing her. And lately he had been feeling attracted to her as well but then love... Damn Maan!!! He cursed himself.
Quickly, he reached out to wipe her tears and lifted her chin to make her face him.
"Don't say you're sorry Geet. Never be sorry for loving someone. Love is a pure feeling. And despite loving me, you never created rifts between me and Sam. Then how come your love is wrong? Never be sorry for that Geet," he made her understand, lifting his hand to push the loose tendril of hair off her face.
He made her sit on the resting chair and bent in front of her. Taking her hand in his, he continued.
"I respect the love you have for me Geet but I don't know if I can reciprocate your feelings. I don't say I cannot try..." her hear jumped slightly at that but then he continued, "but after all that happened, it's a bit difficult for me to love someone...yet again...like that. And you!!! You're very dear to me Geet. You've always been. I would never want you to be with someone who cannot love you the same way that you do, even if that someone is myself. Tum meri baat samajh rahi ho na Geet?"
She drew her hand back to herself.
"Do you still love her Maan?" she said in a slightly hurt tone, a bit envious of the love he has always harboured for Sam. Maan was right. She never tried creating problems for them, yet she always hated the love they had for each other.
Maan chuckled then his expressions grew serious. "No Geet. I don't. I don't hate her... but I can never love her after what she's done to me," he said in a bitter voice as he stood up and leaned on the rim, his eyes showing away the disgust he felt.
Geet slowly got on her feet and as lightly possible put her hand on her shoulder to turn him around.
"Aisa kya huwa tha Maan???" she had to know the whole thing. She deserved to and she'll make sure he tells her now.
**********
P.S Credit One Again For The Poem Goes To Google Images
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