FF-Obsession,chapter29 and next thread-pg150,7oct. - Page 22

Revelations..

Geet was pacing in her clinic with speedy steps.Her restlessness was evident from her steps,the way she was biting her lower lip,her furrowed eyebrows and dark circles under her eyes.She had not closed her eyes for a single minute that night.All she did was waiting restlessly for night to end and sun to rise so she could call maan .However her anxiety left her heart for a moment when she heard his chirping voice this morning.He was so excited about his and pari's first visit to gynecologist.She was able to feel his excitement .Geet could not muster the courage to tell him everything on the call hence asked him to visit her clinic after their visit to gynecologist.For the first time she was fearing to face him.Her brain was busy revising everything that she had contemplated to make him understand the situation or to break the shocking news on him.News that his heart was right about pari all while..News that her medical proofs were wrong in pari's case...Sometimes things occur beyond medical explanations...

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Geet turned by the sound of door opening and saw him.His gaze was fixed to floor as he walked towards the chair with defeating steps.."what happened to him???"Suddenly worry replaced anxiety in her heart.Everything else including that shocking news became blurred in her mind.

"what happened maan..???are you fine???everything alright"She could not stop herself from showering questions on him..

His fingers were massaging his temples with his head down..

"maan..."She almost screamed which made him look in her eyes.She witnessed same fear in his eyes which used to exist whenever he talked about "girl who lives in stories" earlier.

"Pari is just three weeks pregnant..geet"He said in a voice rarely audible.

It was not that much shocking for geet as she was expecting something like that coming soon..

"hmm..."

"you know what does it mean??? It means I was right..she was not pregnant at that time when she first told me"

"I know..."

"why..geet???she never lies to me..You yourself said that she is perfectly fine then why she said so???" He asked in an agitated cum helpless voice.

"may be this can answer you..."She said sliding the pink diary towards it.."open page 80"

"Its pari's diary..right???"

He opened the diary.There was a poem in red ink...

how it feels

when you witness a creation inside you

how it feels

when you feels its moving inside you!!!

how it feels

when your breaths become someone's breaths

how it feels

when you feel synchronized beating of two hearts!!!!

how it feels

when a part of yours starts a tiny life in you

how it feels

when you are happy to bear any pain without any ado!!!

I can't put in words

how it feels..

all i know its a feeling..

wrapping all joys of words in its cover...

no happiness can be more happy

no excitement can be more excited

no contentment can be more contend

no salvation can match the feeling

when you become a mother!!!!!!!!!!

-Entropy

Confusion was written all over his face..

"What do you want to say,geet??He asked

She let out a deep sigh.."you were right about pari..she was in some kind of trance when she told you about her pregnancy for the first time.."

"But..there was nothing about pregnancy in storybook she was reading..you yourself had told me...""

"yes..i told you maan,,,but she was not influenced by any story...she was influenced by the poem..."

"you mean this poem..??"

"yes..this poem.."

He closed his eyes for a while and opened again.."why are you so sure???"

"Do you remember the date on which pari told you about pregnancy??

"Not exactly but it was august."

"and this poem is dated Aug 19.2012"He was still looking at her with incredulous expressions.

"Maan..pari loves poems..i wish you could hear her definition of poem..there was raw passion in her words..whenever she likes any poem,it get mingled with her life...or i can say..she herself mingles her life with the feel of poem..like in this poem.. May be she was so much influenced that she was able to feel the featus in her womb,.,But.."

"but???"

"But this influence is short lived..or may be she remain influenced under one poem till she reads other one which touches her heart..."

Saying this she flipped the pages of the diary and made him read another poem from it.

His eyes sees me..

but who is watching me..is someone else..

He speaks to me..

but who is talking ..is someone else...

There is suspicion in his eyes

But who is suspecting...is someone else..

He wants to trust me

but who is stopping him..is someone else...

I need to save him..

before..that something big in his head

changes him completely into someone else!!!!!!!!

-Entro[u

"Now what does this imply,geet???"

"This is the reason why she consulted me for you..This is the reason for her banters about "something big in your head.."..This poem is written on Sept.9..two days before she came to my clinic for the first time..till then effect of previous poem was subdued,i think...thats why there was certain reluctance in her behaviour when i congratulated her for pregnancy..Sometimes she even behaved like she is unaware of her pregnancy"

There was silence in the room for hand full of moments...

"But geet..Is not there any chance that these poems are just outcome of her surroundings at those moments..i mean she felt that she is pregnant thats why she liked that poem or she felt i am suffering from some psychological disorder thats why .."

"Same thought crossed my mind too"geet cut him in between.."but.."

"But what???"

"Maan when is your marriage anniversary???"

"what???"

"Just answer me???"

"its 6th march..."

"you mean..you both got married on 6th march 2012"

"Yes..and what was the date when pari's first engagement was broken.,.i mean..when you cut your..."She chewed her words in between..

"It was 25 th feb 2012,how can i forget that date??"

"Read this poem..its dated 22nd feb 2012..

Like every other girl

i wait for my prince to arrive..

like every other girl

for his one touch..my senses strive...

like every other girl

i want him to propose me,infront of whole world

LIke every other girl/

thoughts of his makes my cheeks crimson and my toes curled...

Like every other girl

i dream about him every night...

But there is difference

can't say its big or its slight...

One who will own my heart

will need to be drown in emotion's flood..

i will accept him

if he is courageous enough

to make foes of our love bleed

as well as able to

shed his own blood!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Entropy

Shock was evident on his face as he read the poem once again,,

"Pari never knew that you were going to attempt suicide on that day..may be she even did not know that you would be present there...Still she was not startled with your act..She showed the courage of hugging you in such a big crowd..because she was not pari at that time..she was the girl who was waiting for her love to shed his blood...she was in trance..maan..."

Maan clutched his fists as he tried to absorb the revelations which were like daggers to his heart..Geet kept her hand on his shoulder as she mumbled .."you were always right about her maan except that she is not the girl who lives in stories but a girl who lives the poems..."

She did not get any reply from him..."Maan we need to find source of these poems.."Geet suggested further.

"Are not these books are her source of poems???"He asked incredulously.

"I think.."NO"..Pari never hesitated to sacrifice these books..There was no reluctance shown by her when i asked her to do so and moreover there are only six or seven poetry books in her collection and i have checked all of them..These poems are not from them.." Geet explained.

"hmm..But geet why she is taking this case back now???Does it mean effect of that poem is subsiding???"

"Or she had read some other poem,maan..." Geet intervened." I wish i had read her diary before attending that dinner with both you..i could have analysed her behaviour..May be she was influenced by some poem that time too..."

"No geet..She was not..I can recognize that strange behaviour of hers very well..She was normal..She was my pari during all those moments in restaurant,not someone living any poem..." Maan told in an anxious voice.

"If you are so sure maan then it means..."

"What geet???"

"that pari had realized her "problem"..She herself is trying to fight against her"obsession" now...

Unspoken

."you were always right about her maan except that she is not the girl who lives in stories but a girl who lives the poems..."

Geet's words were reverberating around him since he had left her clinic that morning.He was in his car which was parked at a slight distance from his house.He had not any sense of time since Geet made him aware of dreadful reality..A reality which had feared him many times in past six months,a reality which he always avoided to confront..Sudden lack of light around him made him realize the time..Morning had turned to evening bypassing the noon in between when he was lost in his own reverie.He checked his cell phone which was flashing 46 miscalls from pari.. "what if pari needed me..she is pregnant after all ..i should be there with her..."He cursed himself for keeping it on silent mode as worry of something awful happening with his wife clouded his brain.He needed to be at home as soon possible..,

His frantic steps almost froze when his eyes witnessed the sight of his wife sleeping on easy chair.."Is she alright???"He ran towards her and checked her forhead with back of his hand immediately.Her temperature was normal.She might fell in to sleep while waiting for her him to arrive.His eyes roamed towards cell phone in her lap and some pages on the floor.She was reading some article on the pregnancy.A smile crept on his lips as he saw a smiling picture of baby in one of the papers.Her stirring in sleep made him look towards her.His fingers automatically moved forward to caress her forhead like he always used to do.His touch was her own lullaby.But today,instead of making her drown in dreamland,his touch made her open the sleepy eyes..His senses had alarmed him about awakening of pari but he could not muster the courage to look in her eyes.Fear of finding someone else,other than his pari in those soulful eyes stirred his soul.He quickly bent down to floor in order to collect the pages .

'when did you come???"she asked in a sleepy voice."why did not you pick my calls..you know i was hell worried..."

She waited for him to look towards her but was flabbergasted when his legs moved towards the shelf to keep the pile of papers there.

"i am sorry..i was busy.."She knew very well that he was lying.

"maan..."

Her voice made him stop in middle of his tracks,

"hmm"he replied with his back facing her.

"I need to tell you something..."

"hmm"

"Maan...i was not.."She was struggling with words,,"i was not pregnant at that time..but i was not lying..i said so...because..."Her voice trembled as tears chocked her throat..It was impossible for him to ignore the confrontation as her tearful voice touched his eardrums..

He looked back in to her eyes.There was nobody else..There was no influence of any poem or story..There was moisture in them covering the helplessness of his wife to make her husband understand her situation.Helplessness of suffering from the lack of words telling him about her problem..He could not stop himself anymore..There was no need to speak the truth which he already knew.There was no need of repeating those words which were haunting him since morning..He sprinted towards the chair and hugged her like he was hugging his life..

"I am so..rr..y..maan..i did not want to lie but..but..."She managed to speak between sobs,,

'Don't say anything pari..i don't want to hear.."

"But..i need to say...let me sp..ea...kkk"

He was waiting for her to speak when he felt her hold on his shoulders getting looser..She was abnormally still suddenly.He shook her without breaking the hug But there was no movement..It was then he realized that she had passed out in his arms.

*****************************************

"I am sorry doctor for bothering you at this time of night"He said with apologetic face to the doctor who had come to check pari..

"Its fine Mr.maan..but you need to be extra careful with pari.."Lady doctor said scribbling some medicines on the prescription"She needs to be stay away from mental stress as much as possible..Today she was fainted because of mental stress.Her blood pressure got shoot up suddenly.It could be harmful for both mother and baby "

Maan nodded his head in agreement with worried expressions on his face.

"Don't worry so much,,Mr. Khurana..she is fine..all you need is to keep her happpy and away for stress.."Doctor tried to ease the tension which was evident from his face before leaving the room.

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Maan sat near her on the bed.Pari had got her senses back.She opened her eyes to see worried face of her beloved husband..

"maan..."

"shoo...dare you speak now..."

"But,,i want to say.."tears clouded her eyes once again as burden of telling the truth squeezed her heart..Before any word could escape her mouth his lips smashed on hers. It was a kiss which spoke his fear of something awful happening to her.It was a kiss which told her that he did not want to listen anything about her truth..she reciprocated his kiss with equal favor as the guilt which was gnawing at her peace, melted in the kiss with every second.They broke apart as saline water from their eyes mingled with their saliva..

"I don't want to listen anything about whatever occurred in our past..."He mumbled breathing heavily before claiming her lips once again.It was a kiss which buried the unspoken yet known truth of their's life somewhere deep...