FF-Obsession,chapter29 and next thread-pg150,7oct. - Page 13

ILLUSIONS...

"Look i am tired playing these conversation games with you.."Geet said with exasperation written all over face.It was another therapy session with maan. He was waiting for her in the clinic for last one hour.She came,abandoned her handbag on the couch besides,and threw herself on the chair opposite of him.Maan was little confused already by the delay however her first statement of this therapy session made him scowl with perplexity.

"what???" He asked.

"I mean today you are going to answer me whatever i ask.." Geet said in tone full of determination.

He smirked,

"okay..i will answer only if you will put new questions..i mean apart from that girl who lives in stories.."

"i know very well who she is.." Geet said looking straight in his eyes.

Perplexity was increasing for maan with every minute that day.

"what???you know???"

"yes i know...you think pari lives in stories or i should say pari lives the stories.."

Maan was looking at her unbelievingly .It was geet's turn to enjoy his confusing state,but her heart felt miserable seeing him perplexed.

"look..maan..."

"you look..geet..,my wife is not insane.."he roared with sudden anger.

"that's what i want to say maan..Pari is neither insane nor she is suffering from any kind of disorder as you assume..." Geet tried to calm him.

"I did not assume anything about her..She is perfectly fine.. one who is suffering from any disorder is me..yes bibliophobia...i am insecured about her with books..whatever you said earlier.."This time he was actually fumbling with words.

"Maan listen we have to talk.."

"No there is no need to talk on this matter,,i am your patient,treat me,,,"He said furiously.

"Fine.. Mr.Khurana.. Then you are absolutely right..you are suffering from nothing except an "illusion"..I am backing off from this case" Geet said with equal fury.."i am sending these books back to your house.." She announced pointing towards the books.

"NO..." He yelled.

"But why,maan??"

After handful moments filled with high pitched voices,silence lingered in the air, Both were breathing heavily in order to calm their rages.

" we have to talk..maan.."Geet initiated the conversation once again,after some time.

"hmm..give me some time.

He gulped one glass of water and pushed his hair back before speaking.

"Yes..Geet..Pari is the girl who lives in stories or who lives the stories as you said.. and I am really very scared about this..His voice was anxious...thats why i always said that books can harm her..Sometimes i feel like she is in some kind of a trance...like her body is here but her brain and soul are somewhere else..She behaves differently..Her way of talking gets changed..Her expressions get changed..I can feel it..like when she told me..."

"about her pregnancy..." Geet spoke before he could complete.

"Yes..." he admitted.

"And you thought she is saying all this influenced under some story.." She asked further.

"yes..and i am sure,,,She was lost in some book just a night before.."

"Did you check maan which book she was reading??"

"what do you mean,geet???"

"If she was influenced by book then there should be some thing related to pregnancy in the book for sure.."

"yes..there should be.."

"You should have checked maan."Geet sighed before speaking further.." I had casually asked her one day about the book she was reading when she told you about her pregnancy.She told me that she was reading"The cat's pajamas" and there is nothing related to pregnancy in this,,,Its just a collection of short stories related to racial issues in africa..

"What do you want to imply,doc???"

Him calling her "doc" was the sign of massive disapproval from his side on the issue of concern.

"I just want to imply that your wife is perfectly fine,,she does not live in stories as you assume her to be,as i go provided that she was telling the truth about that book.

"why are you so sure that she was telling the truth and she is fine,geet???"

"why are you so sure that she is not fine,maan???"

"I am living with her for seven months,.more ever i love her..i can see what you can't"

"I appreciate your concern,maan..but being a psychiatrist,I have more points to prove myself however they are not emotional like yours.They are medically proven..The day i got the slightest idea of your illusion about pari..i concentrated more on talking with her than you.I just wanted to make sure whether its your illusion or pari is really suffering from SPD..."

"SPD????" he scowled.

" yes,'Schizoid Personality Disorder'...people suffering from this generally remains in their internal fantasy world which they create themselves,mostly according to stories or fictions they read..But major symptoms of this problems are absent in Pari,Such people are used be introverts,antisocial,reserved ,a little secretive .They are emotionally cold,don't express their joys or sorrows,sometimes also show sexual apathy..But i found pari stark opposite..She is very much friendly and talkative..I consulted her friend circle too..."

"But doctor..that does not prove me entirely wrong..may be there could be something which is hidden from us ..something in her past.."

"I also thought same so i met her parents too just to know about her childhood..People suffering from SPD used to have an imaginary friend in their childhood and sometimes in adulthood too.."

"Imaginary friend??"

"Yes a friend with whom they talk,play but he or she is not physically present..They imagine him or her.Appearance of this imaginary person changes with their imaginations..As a child pari never talked anything about this to her parents. People suffering from such disorder try their best to make others believe about that imaginary person.She loved stories from childhood but with time she was able to distinct between reality and fiction like normal children do..She was a bright child.

Geet looked at him during her speech about SPD.His scowling face was enough to tell that he was not believing her explainations..

"Maan another reason that i did not believe your illusion was Pari's disinterest towards writing..Though she loves to read or i should say she is passionate about books but she never tried to write..person who lives in a fantasy world finds writing an effective mean to make the fantasy real..such persons will love to write..but pari does not write..not even journal.."

Silence filled the air again.She knew that her so called patient needed time to absorb the information..

"that means my wife is fine,geet.."

"well according to me perfectly fine..However I can't assure you now..Some times I have found her behaviour weird..Like on this pregnancy matter and when she talks about "something big in your mind.."..I wanted to talk to her about all this but I could not reach her these days..Her cell phone is not working..Is she out of town,maan???

"yes..She had gone with her mother to visit some temple in their native village.Area is quite secluded and rural with no cell phone signals.."He gave the information.

"Hmm..By the way maan,why did not you let her consult any gynecologist??"

" I was scared about her reaction on finding about her not being pregnant...i thought her reaction would make the condition worsen..i was wondering about taking her away from books..but then she consulted you.You yourself showed the way to me..."

"and you got ready to take electric shocks from me,just to make pari stay away from the books.."Geet intervened. Smile touched his lips after a long time.

"Geet..according to you I am perfectly fine..How could you think so after knowing about my"stalking as well as suicide attempt"story??

She gave a slight smile before replying.."I am a psychiatrist maan..The way you were stalking pari before marriage was not something which needed psychiatric help.You were not confronting her either because of your shyness or fear of her denial...You never made any blank call to pari..you never sent her any kind of gift..you never tried to threaten or frighten her however your suicide attempt made me suspect you little but the way pari described your behaviour after your marriage erased that suspicion too from my mind.You never behaved like an obsessed or possessive lover and that made me think may be your suicide attempt was an impulsive decision of yours at that moment.You had lost your mother just a month before and then you found yourself loosing pari too.Thus your brain came with this idea.If you had your mother with you at that moment for talking and sharing about pari,may be you had not taken such drastic step of ending your life.."

"hmm.." He said before bringing his another doubt."If you were so sure about pari as well as my plan of taking books away from her,then why did not you tell me since last month???"Maan put a question which could never be answered honestly by geet..

"ahem..actually..i wanted to be sure before confronting you on this matter.Her eyes were wandering everywhere in the room except maan"and i am not sure yet about pari..You have to help me in it.."

"How can I help in it??" he asked.

"Take her to Gynecologist maan..Only then truth about her pregnancy can be revealed.." Geet suggested.

Neither he accepted nor he rejected her suggestion as he spoke..so..thats all for today's date..catch you soon sweetheart"he smirked.

Geet tried her utmost control to prevent her cheeks from turning crimson.."hmmm"she said meekly..

He was gone leaving his scent behind.He was a real illusion for a girl who lives inside a psychiatrist..and who was attracted to him like a moth to flame!!!!She did not know when she will be able to control this attraction.All she knew that moment was that he had not believed her explainations yet.Its hard to overcome illusions.

PS-all the knowledge regarding SPD is google earned..