Jokes - Page 62

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

and:

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)

"I was married 3 times"
explained the man to a newly discovered drinking partner,
"and I'll never marry again. My first 2 wives died of eating poison mushrooms and my 3rd wife died of a fractured skull."

"That's a shame." said his friend , "How did it happen?"

"She wouldn't eat the mushrooms!"

Jas ,

full formla irukeengala 2 naal IFkku bunk adichittu? 😆 😆 😆

hey chits, nethu i was here in if. neenga enga kaanum... 😕 😕

Bert the snake goes to see his eye doctor, who sorts him out a pair of glasses and tells him to come back in a fortnight.

Bert returns two weeks later and tells the doctor he's very depressed.

"Didn't the glasses help you?" asks the doctor.

"The glasses are fine," says Bert. "But I just discovered I've been living with a water hose for the last three years."

Dave is told his girlfriend's gone into labour early. "Here's the nurse's direct number," a supervisor tells him. Unfortunately, the number is wrong and Dave gets through to the local cricket club during a game. "How's everything going?" he asks.

"Oh, fine," says a cheery woman. "We've got eight out already."

"Eight?" wails Dave, who's nervous enough about becoming a dad.

"Yep," she says. "And the last one was a duck."

Once, after a long, hard week, wife leaned her head on her husband's shoulder and sighed, "Let's run away together."

"We did," he replied, "and this is where we ended up."

another joke

a young boy ran out of school shouting, "Mum! Mum! Are you a prostitute?"

"No!" mom replied, aghast.

He looked at her quizzically. "Well, what religion are you, then?"

A wife sent her husband to the mall with my "Dear Santa" list. One item was perfume. Not having a fragrance in mind, she had written that she would like something subtle.

Hours later she got an exasperated call. "I'm having a very hard time finding Something Subtle," he told her. "The sales clerk wants to know who makes it."

Aiyaiyoh Nallu, nalla thaan joke adikkiringga.
Super pongga.

nalla joke adicha, nallu enga poganum kavi??? koncham engalukkum sullongolaen!!! 😳 😳 😳