Jokes - Page 144

Bibbi passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive"

The operator asked "Can you spell that for me?"

There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How about I

drag her over to Oak St. and you pick her up there?"

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.

At the end of the service, the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for 10 more years and then dies.

A ceremony is again held and, at the end of the service, the pallbearers are once more carrying the casket.

Some funny leave letters:


'Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.'

From an employee who was performing the 'mundan' ceremony of his 10 year old son:
'As I want to shave my son's head , please leave me for two days..'

Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:


'as I am marrying my daughter , please grant a week's leave..'


'As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it , please grant me 10 days leave.'


Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:


'Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return , please grant me half day casual leave'

An incident of a leave letter:


'I am suffering from fever , please declare one-day holiday.'

A leave letter to the headmaster:


'As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today'

'As my headache is paining , please grant me leave for the day.'

Covering note:
'I am enclosed herewith...'


'Dear Sir: with reference to the above , please refer to my below...'


Actual letter written for application of leave:
'My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave'.

Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the

Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you

the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the

Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely

soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.

He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'

The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

The little boy replies,

'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep.

The People are being ignored and the

Future is in deep sh!t.