Hey guys! My rambling mind seems to have managed to come up with another chapter.😆😆 Hope you guys like it😳
CHAPTER 7: Realization
Locker Room:
Atul eased himself onto one of the benches in the locker room, finally catching a much needed break. Only half the day had passed, yet it felt as if eons had gone by! The path. lab had kept him busy most of the morning, and after that he'd gotten busy with the endless rounds of general check-ups in the General Ward. Days like this made him feel as if he was being ground like aata in a chakki! "Nothing in all the years of intensive studying can EVER really prepare you for the real deal," he thought to himself. He had of course heard that the internship days would be rigorous, but he'd never thought that they would be THIS rigorous! He tried recalling the last time when he'd managed to catch a good night's worth of sleep, but he really couldn't remember. "Of course there were other reasons for that these days," he muttered to himself.
Then he shook himself out of his thoughts, and decided to go get a cup of coffee. As he walked by the last set of lockers, his gaze fell on one name that made him stop. He walked closer to the locker, and stared at the name for a moment. "Dr. Anjali Gupta," he said to himself softly, and he was suddenly flooded with a rush of memories. The very first day, and her standing in front of this very locker, giving him a condescending, snobbish look as he tried to say hello to her. Glancing down at his hand like it was something filthy and unworthy of her, and then walking away. Walking away many times after that as well, and always without even so much as a backward glance. The way she always talked to Ridz, in that cold, unemotional voice—to her very own sister! And made fun of her every chance she got with Armaan!
THIS was the woman he felt attracted to?? "What is wrong with me?!" he thought to himself in horror at the sudden realization. "How in the world can I be so drawn to such a cold, unfeeling woman?? For the most part, she behaved as if he didn't even exist! When she did deign to look at him, it was more like she was looking at an insect crawling on the ground!" he thought. "Then WHY?! HOW?! There had to be something seriously wrong with him!" He glanced up at her name on the locker again for a moment, and then turned away in anger. "Snap out of it, Atul!" he muttered to himself. "This little crush or whatever you have on Anjali needs to end right now! It makes absolutely no sense to begin with, and it's not going to take you anywhere either!"
"Hi Atul!" said a voice behind him.
He froze. What was she doing here?? Had she heard him? Oh God! He was surely dead today!
He turned around slowly, and what he saw made him almost faint with shock. She had a broad smile on her face…and it was directed at him! He looked over his shoulder slightly to see if there was someone behind him, but there was no one.
"Anjali..?!" he said, glancing back at her, still in a bit of a dazed shock.
She walked over to him slowly, a little hesitantly.
"Hi Atul," she repeated a little shyly, still smiling that wonderful smile at him.
Anjali was talking to him SHYLY?!! Was this a dream?
"I…I just wanted to thank you for last night once again. For the bike ride home." She said, blushing a bit now as well.
BLUSHING??!! Ok, this was most definitely a dream! He reached towards his arm to pinch himself to confirm it.
"Atul…" her voice made him pause…There was something different in it.
"Yes?" he replied.
"I…I'm really sorry."
"Sorry??!" he repeated, getting what seemed like his 100th shock of the day.
"Yes…I…I've been really rude to you ever since we met, for no fault of yours!" she said in a voice filled with regret. "And I realize now how wrong I was. I misjudged you a lot, Atul, and I'm really really sorry for that." she finished, her eyes imploring him to forgive her.
As he stood there looking at her, Atul felt himself melt completely, all his logical and rational arguments flying out of his head. The way she was looking at him right now, he would have given her the moon if she'd asked for!
"It's alright, Anjali. You don't have to say sorry!"
"No, Atul! You have to forgive me! Else I'll always have this guilt inside me for the way I've treated you!"
"I...I…alright…I forgive you." he said, helpless in front of her cajoling eyes.
"Really?" she said, bestowing him with that brilliant smile of hers once again. "Thank you so much, Atul! I hope we can start with a clean slate now. Friends?" she asked, holding out a hand.
Atul glanced down at her hand for a moment and then reached out and shook it. "Friends," he agreed with a big smile on his face.
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Anjali pulled open the door to the locker room, and paused when she saw Atul. Instantly, she got a vivid image in her head of him fawning over Ridzie earlier in the morning. "I just knew our Ridz would come out on top!" Her mouth tightened as she recalled how fondly he'd been looking at her. "The Diabetes Inducing Society had a Mutual Admiration Club as well, it seemed," she thought to herself bitterly.
Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she walked in. As she neared her locker, she saw that he was standing at an angle facing slightly away from it, with a big grin on his face and his hand held out like he was shaking it with someone.
"What in the world was he doing?" she wondered in puzzlement. "Had he finally lost it completely??"
"Dr. Atulll," she said, directing her coldest voice at him.
No reaction. He continued to shake some imaginary hand with that big, almost loopy grin on his face.
"Dr. Atull!" she said in a louder tone.
Atul jumped at that, and turned around. Then he jumped once more when he saw her.
"Anjali?! You? Here?" he looked at her in shocked bewilderment. "Then?" He looked back at the place where he'd just been shaking hands with her, and found no one there. "Where? How?" he said looking around the locker room in frantic bewilderment. "But…But.…just…here" he said fumblingly, completely baffled.
"Entertaining. Very Entertaining." She said, her voice dripping with disdain and sarcasm. "Now if you're done with your antics, could you please move from in front of my locker? I need to get some files."
Her tone sobered him down instantly, and he quickly moved away from in front of her locker. She opened it and rummaged around in it for a bit, before pulling out two files. She then shut it, and gave him what was by now her patented "You're an insect in front of me" look, before turning around and walking away.
"A dream." He sighed to himself as he watched her walk away. "He should've known the instant he imagined her blushing at him," he said to himself ruefully. "The real Anjali would NEVER do that in a million years! Which was EXACTLY why he needed to snap out of this bout of insanity he seemed to be going through currently. His overactive imagination was not going to change the hard reality that she was a cold, rude and emotionless woman who did not care for anyone's feelings at all!!"
Dr. Atul, please report to the ICU. Dr. Atul, please report to the ICU, the voice on the intercom interrupted his thoughts.
"There goes my coffee" he said to himself with a resigned sigh as he hurried out of the locker room.
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Later, outside the ICU:
Atul felt really tired, but he smiled to himself as he walked out of the ICU. He turned back for a moment and looked at his patient, Mr. Chopra. His wife was seated at his bedside, holding his hand, tears of relief streaming down her face. His condition had become complicated for a bit after his recent surgery, and Atul had been called in when Mr. Chopra had started complaining of difficulty in breathing. The situation had been touch and go for a moment in between when he completely stopped breathing, but they'd finally managed to revive his breathing.
Mrs. Chopra suddenly looked up, and saw him. She gently put down her husband's hand, and walked over to him, wiping the tears away from her face. "Dr…I…I don't know how to thank you!" she said folding her hands in front of him, unable to prevent fresh tears from spilling out.
"No No, Mrs. Chopra" he said, taking her folded hands in his. "There is no need to thank me!"
"Yes there is, Dr.! You saved his life today! I still can't believe I almost…almost….lost.." she cried brokenly.
"There there now, Mrs. Chopra. Don't think about that now. What matters is that he's alive and well with you today! And the one we should really be thanking is Him" he said, pointing his finger upwards with a smile on his face.
She smiled through her tears at that, and nodded at him before walking back to her husband's bedside.
Atul watched them for a moment again, before he turned around and walked away. "THIS is what makes the crazy hours and lack of sleep completely worth it!" he said to himself with a satisfied sigh and a smile.
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Atul was walking towards the cafeteria, and as he turned a corner, he saw Anjali talking to Dr. Shashank with a huge smile on her face. For a moment, the smile dazzled him as much as it usually did and he stopped in his tracks. Then he shook himself out of the daze with a newfound resolve and determinedly started forward.
She was talking with him in the most animated way he had ever seen her speak. Dr. Shashank was nodding and seemed to be listening with great interest. Suddenly, Ridz appeared next to them, smiling. Dr. Shashank then turned to her and said something to her, beaming with visible pride on his face. Ridz looked like she wanted to hug him, but contained herself and just smiled back at him happily. Atul was now close enough to faintly hear her say, "Thank you, Papa!…I mean Dr. Shashank"
"Papa?!" he stopped and thought. "So Ridz…and that means…Anjali as well…are Dr. Shashank's daughters? Wow!" He glanced back and saw that the resemblance was clear now that he looked more closely. Anjali especially seemed to resemble him a lot.
He had observed Anjali's smile collapse the moment Ridz walked over, but she had smoothly covered it up with her usual cool mask. The moment Ridz said, "Thank you, Papa", she glanced up at Dr. Shashank quickly. But Ridz quickly added "I mean Dr. Shashank" and then he just smiled at her. Anjali appeared to tense up even more, but neither one of them noticed. Then both their beepers went off and they hurried off, saying bye to Anjali.
She stood there for a moment after they left, her head bowed. She appeared to be struggling with something internally and he saw her swallow visibly. She looked so alone in that moment! And he was unaware of when his feet had started moving again until he was standing right next to her.
"Anjali?" he heard himself say.
She looked up quickly, and he saw tears glistening in her eyes, and those tears just cut through him in that moment.
"Anjali? Are you…?" he asked.
"Excuse me," she said quickly looking down to avoid his eyes. Her voice cracked a little on the words, and she quickly brushed past him.
He watched her walk away, noting her struggle to gain her composure back as quickly as possible even as she brushed a tear off her cheek subconsciously. He wanted to go after her, but something held him back. She probably wanted to be by herself for some time, and it didn't look like she'd welcome his company much either.
There had been so much hurt and pain in those tear-stained eyes in that fraction of a second that he had managed to glimpse them. Why was there so much pain in them? And why did they cut through to him so deep? Why could he never help himself from going after her no matter how rude or mean she was to him?? Why did everything pale in front of the few smiles and that tear-stained gaze? Why??
And suddenly in that one moment, everything became clear. All his doubts, uncertainties vanished away. Moments flashed through his head with great clarity:
The way she usually looked at him with disdain as if she was always suffering him.
Then the way she had smiled that day in the car
The way she said his name with the emphasis on the 'l'…Atulll
The way she had looked that night on the bike laughing with abandon.
The way she had said, "Thank you" in that soft tone to him that night.
The way she had said, "Entertaining" in her most sarcastic tone this afternoon
And those tears…that catch in her voice as she had hurried past him
In that moment, he knew the answer to his 'why'. It was because he loved her. There was no rationale behind it, and maybe it made no sense. But he knew without a shred of doubt that it was true. I love her! he breathed to himself, the enormity of his realization hitting him. He loved Anjali!.
And on the heels of that realization came another one: What was he going to do about it now?
Udne Ki Aasha
Anupamaa
Cricket
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