The Eyes You Saw - Chapter 39 and 40 on Page 90 - Page 16

Originally posted by: 2filmy

Sorry for the delay but there is my review

Originally posted by: LovingAHA2017

The chapter starts beautifully showing Nandini's discomfort with Malayketu... your writing is beautiful as it brings out the small nuances of a woman's nature... her shifting from bed to sofa...

Neha 🤗, i am in awe of your writing style, and here you are, praising mine 😛

How are you feeling now? I am so sorry for late reply. Waiting for 1st week of Jan to get over...

the conflict in Chandra's mind is beautifully depicted. Malayketu's villainy is shown from the very first sentence and god this guy is creepy! The way you show conversations, whether it was Avantika in last chapter or malayketu in this chapter , you truly bring out the emotions excellently in reader's mind.

Let me confess... Emotions are my achilles heal, Neha. I have great difficulty in expressing myself - even in person. Its after i landed here in this Forum, that i have developed the confidence to talk to people freely. I must say, i still haven't accomplished in it completely.

Dialog writing is something that i naturally dreaded... If you had read my first FF "The Devil's Trap" I think i must have written the same thing there to my other friends also.

I wanted to improve my emotional quotient, dialog writing style, and mostly not to forget english - hence this FF. Even now, I spend a 3 - 4 days writing and re-writing words. I can clearly see the picture in my mind, but cant seem to remember the appropriate words to express it... When I read Priya's comments and yours, i keep hitting my head with my right fist, like a child, thinking "shit, why did I not think of this word? Ah, this word sounds better than what I wrote..." I am that bad.

So, i am just sticking to simple english words. But i have this inkling - does this sufficiently bring out the emotions that i expect the reader to feel? But going by what you have written about Avantika and Malay's conversations - i think i have atleast managed to draw the right sketch, if not the complete painting.

Digressing... but can't help it... Alcohol can make a vile person worse in his intentions... like many rapes of the world occur under the influence of alcohol... yet between loving couples, alcohol is such a beautiful stimulant... the right type of aphro...main ke pyaale!... No wonder, our ancestors understood this aspect and made it one of the ratnas that came out of samudra manthan...

So beautifully said, Neha. Samudra Manthan itself is about Balance - both good and bad - equally came out of the milky ocean. Alcohol is an aphro if rightly used and a demon if in excess.

I really love the characterization of Lopa... she's trying her very best to divert him, to keep her protected from his anger and possible sexual assault under the influence of alcohol...The part where she feels she's limited in her interference capability because the two are after all engaged... yet her readiness to sacrifice her own body to protect Nandini...simply beautiful!

@BOLD - I really enjoyed writing Lopa's part. She is a faithful servant, a loyal friend that Nandini can completely depend on, in a family of selfish vultures. I even liked her name - god knows what it means, but her name struck my mind, when i got up early in the morning that day.

My surprise package was Neelambari. I actually thought of making her character a mute one, a mere mention as a sister, but when I started writing a vile character Nalini, her twin Neelambari came to life on her own - along with her completely opposite nature... 3 chapters down the line, I am still thinking how I made her up.

One question that got raised to my mind... does marriage mean that the husband starts owning the wife's body... should a strong character woman like Nandini agree to such situation or should she be strong like how Laxmibai was, Meri Jhaansi nahi doongi! If you hold so much pride for your motherland, why should a woman not hold pride for her own body...forcing the wife towards physical union rather than coaxing her, winning her over... doesn't that equate to rape?... Why should marital rapes be accepted by women? Why are all of us not trained, not groomed as Komal hai kamjor nahi tu, Shakti ka naam hi naari hai...? To remain strong and have full respect for her body as well as make others respect her body.

From the time that Shakti pooja was subjugated and the male influence increased in religions, woman has been treated as sub-ordinate to the man... whereas in original Ardhanareshwar concept both are equal...it's high time that this equality is propagated across society now...

I liked Chandra wanting to support her... let him bring her this new outlook and make her understand that her body is as important as her soul and it will always be by her wish that any man unifies with her.

Your angst is the most expected reaction...

I had said that I will be covering women of that era. This is one unequality that had existed even during that time - that time when women excelled in war, women participated in Malyudh (yes Malyudh also), when divorce option was available, where Sati was voluntary not forced on women, women had the liberty to choose husband by Swayamvar (irrespective of caste and purely based on merits) or remain unmarried to continue studies and yet... yet... they were treated below, as subordinates to men at the same time.

While courtesans, prostit**es, Gajagaminis, Devdasis, gypsies etc had women in Power, at the same time used for Physical pleasure for the comfort of men, while doing their duty as Spies simultaneously for their kingdom. Such disparities existed even during that time.

Royal wives by default will know that their male chauvinistic husband will have multi-wives and slaves and courtesans as Competitions. Hence the urge to keep the husband physically satisfied to keep him close to them is quite evident... and properly used by Men in Power / Kings to use it against the women / Queens to dominate them.

I wanted to cover this through Nandini - a woman strong enough to be a warrior, caring enough to be a doctor, gentle enough to care for her servants and sisters, a Princess - is handbound by family duties at a time like this. This is where Malayketu with the lecherous behaviour, royal attitude and drunken state steps in. I wanted the reader to mull over what you had pointed out... How not to treat a woman comes through this chapter... But as Priyu pointed out, Malay is Duryodhan and Shakuni is not far behind... 😉

Originally posted by: 2filmy

Apart from the time when the king is kidnapped and it's kept a secret is there any other instance where his imposter is used? I'm sure it's told only in the ears as walls have ears.

Imposter is used in many circumstances - where king is making public appearances (where chances of him getting killed is more) - eg. hitler, saddam also used impostors. Where a king is dead and keeping the information in wraps to avoid the enemy kingdom from taking over (many examples of this is there in our history). Where the king has been kidnapped by the enemy, the impostor makes an appearance in the opposite end - to confuse the enemy and aid in releasing the actual king (thinking they have abducted the impostor). aise bohot reasons hai...

Padma knew Nandini was the most responsible and trustworthy so gave her the master key. Else he could have given it to someone else too. Sly as a fox.

Worse. He is a monster. More on him later.

Men from times immemorial used women as playthings and treated them as subordinates. Used to extract information? How? Engage someone with a woman and then extract secrets from him? I know how tough it's for a woman to speak out in such a rule.

Yes, thats the easiest way to extract information those days. Chanakya used to employ thieves, dacoits, religious men of the temples, pious monks, Prosti***es, dancers, gypsies, palm readers, astrologers, etc etc - in each of the villages as Spies. Not necessarily women alone in such professions, but women make good spies in such areas. Even trained monkeys, crows, falcons and parrots also were used as spies. You will invariably spill the beans somewhere while travelling from place to place, thinking nobody there knows you. Its easy to read your palm and extract more inforamtion about you. Its easy for a dancer to check how much money you can afford for a dance and when you open your purse, the thief / monkey (her accomplice) will snatch the purse and run...

Today, people post pictures of their vacation when they are abroad, and here their house gets looted by hacking information of their whereabouts. Old trick, new technology. Old wine, new bottle 😛

Originally posted by: MysticRiver

interesting..

Originally posted by: 2filmy

So that dirty lecher is here. He was trying to force his way into Nandini's tent. Doesn't have the basic manners that you can't create such a scene to enter a lady's tent. You need to get her permission first. But it's useless to expect even basic manners from such a lecher.

I liked how Nandini requested both to not leave her alone with Malay. For Lopa it's understandable as she is Nandini's true companion and confidante. But to say the same to Vaid Ji is huge and deep. It means he has already earned her respect trust and confidence. His telling her about Nand in a way brought them close. For now both Lopa and Vaid goals are the same - to guard her honor from Malay.

Yes, absolutely. He is a doctor (her passion). He gave her information that others were hesitating to do. He was not afraid of getting beheaded. He was straightforward and very crisp with his information. His information accuracy was confirmed by Lopa, her trusted confidante. His advice came handy immediately. His manner of conduct (i did not cover in exact words, so i dont think the princess would have considered that)

I want to know why she shifted from bed to sofa. 1. One reason could be it's against royal manner to welcome someone from bed. 2. Another reason could be not to give Malay any wrong ideas. 3. Yet another could be she needs Vaid ji to apply medicine on her wounds and it won't seem good for royal manners to do so in bed. 4. I also feel she needs Vaid ji to apply the medicines more as a safe guard from Malay and prevent him from attacking her than really heal her wounds.

More than Point 1, Point 2 and 4 was what I had in mind.

Point 1 applies even in today's world. We dont welcome anybody while in bed no?

Point 3 - vaidji was already applying medicine in the previous chapter, and she was already comfortable around him when he opened his big mouth about the treasure 😊

Lopa had to go and stop him fighting with the guard like a cheap person and welcome him. I feel bad for both Nandini and Lopa. Such a man too has to be invited courteously.

Damad jo hai.. .how many lecherous characters exist as Son-in-laws and still respected for courtesy sake today...

Vaid has to be alert now. He was safe till now. No one had doubted him. But Malay was different. They both knew the same art of disguise so he was worried if he will recognize him. I felt he is a lion now alert as his prey is coming. I'm amazed that he brought so many weapons hidden in his dress. I digress a bit. I feel Malay is such a student who will fail in most of his subjects. Did the Acharya keep failures in his class too?

In history, Acharya Chanakya was insulted at Nand's court, and then he travels to Takshashila (near Gandhar kingdom then). The King Puru (Porus) patronised him. His son, supposedly Malayketu, was sent to study under Chanakya as his student. Now, we dont know how good a student he was as per history 😆

In the CN Show, they showed it as King Parvatak. And his son Malayketu was a womaniser. So, i retained the character names, but twisting the characters here.

I assume Nandini told that in an audible princess voice to let Malay hear that she's busy and she is a strong lady who doesn't take any nonsense from anyone? I know it's not her real attitude but it's just for show

Absolutely. A princess who tends to foot soldiers wounds and rushes to pick up a servant when she is slapped, can't be assumed to have a Princessly attitude all of a sudden. Its a show to hint Malay that he is unwanted here. 😉

Originally posted by: 2filmy

Vaid has to be very alert now. He has to apply medicine on her wounds and make her feel he's just an old man. He also has to ensure Malay doesn't recognize him. He's in a real danger zone now but I know he'll cross it well. In a way he's actually doing his duty as a husband applying her medicine.

I'm not at all surprised that Malay is drunk. He's rude arrogant brash and uncouth. Right from his entry he shows his attitude. He expects Nandini to stand up and welcome him. (In my head I tell him he should thank his stars that Nandini is even letting some one like him enter her tent)

😆 I loved your feelings that went with the story ... seriously, imagine a haughty princess like Nalini there 😆

Nandini has put on an air and attitude of princess now. She's on her mark right from the start. She's subtly hinting Malay to go. She's not interested to talk to him at all. She had a long day and needs rest now. As it is she's planned to die so it's just useless now.

@BOLD - You nailed it . I wish I had used these words simply instead of writing long dialogs.

Malay is so thick skinned and dull. He doesn't get the hint. Or may be he gets and just ignores it. He wants to dominate her. He insults and mocks her and hints he is her master now. Using Commander hints it. He also hates that she commands the army instead of him. A typical male chauvinist. I have to applaud Nandini here. I would have just slapped such a person royal protocol be damned. Her battle isn't over also means she won't let Malay win over her. She really has a lot to do so she has very less time to rest. Malay is just wasting her time. Lopa intervened now but it's useless. Malay doesn't care at all. He just wants to do as he wishes.

He shows his real face now. Plays the most common card. Acts like she's his personal property. She still keeps her cool and tries to control his advances. He taunts her with Avantika. How I wish Vaid could whisper in her ears that she isn't Avantika too. Lopa again tries to distract him as she well knew what Malay was talking of. Risky topic.

You wrote perfectly everything that I wanted to convey. Except that you have put it more eloquently than mine. I really wish I could write like you Priya. So crisp, so short, and so clear !

@BOLD - Again I enjoyed your feelings. I would have done the same slapping. I had actually pricked a guy with a long pin, who kept falling on me purposely on a bus.

This time Vaid need not whisper in Nandini's ears. Nandini was never like Avantika. She knows it. To the extent, that Avantika herself put Neela in her arms, who was similar to Nandini.

Malay just shows his crass nature now. Filthy language. Nandini gave a fitting reply. What an irony. She had to defend some one like Avantika. Who herself was a cheap woman and who had threatened Nandini that she'll sell her in the slave market.

Kya karen... sometimes we do that to protect our family members, even though we hate them to the core...