Arshi FF: Hopes and Ambitions. Thread 3 - Page 59

Shwetha, you are an awesome writer. Loved the way you brought out Lexie's story through Arnav's flashbacks and Aman's narration and interlinking them.

Coming to the update, it was a very emotional one. Lexie - what a waste of life!!!!!!

Everyone in this world faces pressures in life in one way or the other, unfortunately for people like Lexie they just buckle under pressure and chose the wrong path not only destroying their lives but ruining the lives of people who love them too. Arnav is feeling guilty that he did not take care enough of her and so her life is in this pathetic state today. But should Arnav really feel guilty??? Even much before he had left London, she had ruined her life, its the path she chose and she had to bear the consequences of it.

And seriously what kind of free thinking in this anyway, taking drugs, sleeping around with every tom, dick and harry, involving in illegal activities, if this is a form of cult, then society does not require such a cult.

Coming to Arnav always reminding himself how selfless Lexie was. Here I want to mention, if there is someone who is selfless in this story then it is Khushi and her parents. Her father employed the tribal people to give them better lives even though his life was in danger, Khushi dedicated her time teaching innocent children values of life and after her marriage she dedicated her life to help people through the NGO. Selflessness is this, which gives another unfortunate soul a reason to live and not spoiling one's life in the name of free thinking.

Arnav shut his eyes at the mention of his wife, at this moment he realised that he had complicated that equation too and the momentary joy and peace he had experienced with Khushi was in grave jeopardy.

For me another depressing feeling I had was when Arnav only remembered Khushi after Lexie mentioned her. And here Khushi feels her love for her husband has increased many fold. How sad is that!!!!

Originally posted by: pixiegirl

Ah! these lines got to me...

Arnav was talking about Lexie losing herself here but he didn't talk of the fears of him losing Lexie. So, his wariness at not making her unhappy at any cost were deep rooted in his fears of losing her completely. She didn't want bondages and he didn't offer any. If that made him weak then he didn't mind being weak.

An exasperated Aman said, "Then ask her to stop showering her love so freely and save it for the person who is sacrificing so much for her. You can't be so submissive ASR. You are acting completely out of character and this one aberration can come back to haunt you."

Arnav, sure was living in a fool's paradise... He was in some trance-like state when he was with Lexie... She had some weird sort of hold on him, that put him in a stupor for him to see any sense... Why else would he try & rationalize her behavior??

I really can't be angry at Arnav no matter how hard I try... All I feel is immense grief for him at the moment. He suffered real bad, truly living in an illusory world...

But was this love?? Or some sort of infatuation with a larger than life spirit?? Whatever it was, he was in its grip real bad...

If Lexie was under the influence of drugs, then Arnav was under the influence of being in love with a nonconformist hippie. It was a recipe for disaster from the get go.

Hi Shwetha,

A confession here, after reading 'A change of Wind', I could not hold myself back so I went to read all the chapters from the beginning. I must agree that I've no words to describe what I felt about this FF and I completely fell in love with your style of writing and the research you have put into this work is commendable!! I feel brilliant is an understatement to describe. Kudos Shwetha!! 👏

In this Chapter, Arnav feels that he should not have buried himself in work and studies. He can't be more wrong here. As an adult Lexie just wished to live her life carefree. it was her life and she was her own boss. She loved her life and lived it with no ifs and no buts.

It was her will & wish to live like that...but with she forgot an important thing called responsibility to her own life. But Lexie, with her love is not binding theory and hippie lifestyle, had squandered or rather exploited and lost too many things in her life, starting with her own precious body & Life which made her , as you quote quintessentially Lexie'. Soul I can't be sure of it, as art was in her soul, and her gift to Arnav explains it all.

As they say with if you own/love something then maintaining / caring for it also becomes your responsibility. People take things which they have often for granted and only realize its value when they no more possess it. And Lexie realized on her death bed when she lay alone, as the man who truly loved her was present at the hospital just because he felt responsible for her, nothing more nothing less.

It was she who had willingly let go of Arnav and it never was the other way around, though Arnav's sense of feeling responsibility for Lexie is understandable. Her feeling of being caged & oppressed in Love partially tells us that she always had prioritized her life, and her happiness and Arnav had never been on top of that list!

What baffles me is that Arnav in his fear of losing Lexie, had allowed her dwell into that hallucination, way too much, not realizing that there is no point of return for her from there and she'd be permanently detached from the real world, physically and mentally! I wonder how many times she might have escaped from rehabs if at all Arnav had got her into one? On the whole, from my POV I can't completely feel sorry for Lexie here as she never gave two hoots neither for her life nor her love, while living her exhilarating bohemian lifestyle. In her journey to find love and happiness, Lexie never realized that they were staring right in front her eyes and had willingly let go of it, only to regret it when it was all too late. But one thing what bothered me is "he is the only man who truly loved me..." It brought tears in my eyes that she did not say that she also truly loved him the way he did, at least at point of time in her life!💔😭

Now coming back to Arnav , he atlast realized that he in one of the weak moments had troubled his so-called normal marriage without love'. I wonder why he never felt jealous when Lexie was exploring free love, but never felt comfortable when NK was around Khushi and why did he feel that pang of jealousy in his heart when he was not the instigator' of Khushi's tinkling musical laughter? Even the impassive politician in him had subsided then!!

When Arnav confessed that he was strongly attracted to Khushi and when we as readers realized that ASR loved Alexis and Aman's statement that ASR & Alexis completed each other, is actually the other way around. I feel that ASR as Arnav was strongly attracted to Alexis and her way of life, love for art, bohemian ideologies and her life similar to that of his which being abandoned by their families due to their eccentric personalities were all the very strong points which brought them closer. While Khushi was exactly opposite of whatever characters ASR possessed then and now. Despite that he is strongly attracted to her and definitely craved for her. Else he'd not even have thought about the jeopardizing his equations with Khushi. So somewhere in those eight years after their break-up, Arnav now emotionally broken, had resurrected as an impassive politician probably might have vowed to never ever go down the forbidden territory called love and wanted to protect his vulnerable heart. No doubt he truly loved Lexie, but when she let him go,I think he understood that she never loved him the way he loved her. Ever. Period.

As for Khushi, I do completely agree with her state of mind. Heck she had already fallen hard for that Pig-headed husband of hers who is showing her his facade personality, and now after knowing his true self she is never going to let him go. And I think she'll accept him as he comes without any complaints there because she understands him, that Arnav, though had chided her, was actually vulnerable then. And if she gets to know that he has just returned mourning his love, she'll do everything within her control to get him out of that. And if the Arnav in ASR, is still alive somewhere, would definitely acknowledge her presence, importance and love in his life. The statement "that true love never puts any conditions" will apply for Khushi while accepting Arnav and his past, but she is not going to be a fool like Lexie to let Arnav go.