Arhi FF: Labyrinth - Thread 2 Link posted

First Previous

Page

116

Next Last

Frequent Posters

-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#151

Originally posted by: CravingKhana
I dont getr Vishwa...

his remembering her first entry with detail...and then the conversation there after is very unsettling...
he recognises her infatuation..then ...but it is so much more as it seems reciprocated to a level that's wrong...and then this conversation...choice of meal ...phew mixed messages rampant...then what of his wife...(I know i would not want my hubby interacting with a girl this way protege or not...)

So yes ...I am thus far very much on the fence with VIshwa

and understanding Shyama (who i cannot empathise with)

i know i am one ch behind but will get to it...

Its time for the second edits to that chapter ;) will do it today.

She already knew there was no future to her adulation that turned into respect which in-turn matured into a profound fondness for Vishwa. That said, Vishwa believed that she needed to hear the impact her great beauty could have on any men, including him. Moreover, that cleansing through words - the expression that she always thought it would be another man who would take her hand, had to come out from both him and her, to close this chapter. Again, Vishwa's acknowledgement (not reciprocation) doesn't confirm the nature of his affections for her ;) Something are better left to the imagination and I will not take issue if you don't agree.

As you mentioned, I treat Shyama (and may be even Vishwa) as a mere mortal. In my thoughts, she is that girl next door, who is just as easily assailed with men who have larger than life images ;)

I don't think there is anything to be sympathized with yet. When she falls into the illusions of love, she will know where everyone stands.

🤗 Thanks for the referral. Looks like you have a love hate relationship with this story ;)

Edited by Lahari. - 11 years ago

Quote

-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#152

Originally posted by: revathysugathan
I think he has realised the ploy too 😉
But why malice??? 🤔

Thanks for the callout - intended word is mischief. 😆

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Jay

@jduke

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#153

I came to read this story after seeing recommended some of my favorite writers and it is really worth reading. I really liked the way you described the characters and their thought process. Arnav / Arjun character is quiet intriguing. What I don't get is Dhri and rest are so guarding for Kushi and they are just sending her with Arnav in public transportation?. Waiting for next chapter.

Quote

-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#154

Originally posted by: jduke
I came to read this story after seeing recommended some of my favorite writers and it is really worth reading. I really liked the way you described the characters and their thought process. Arnav / Arjun character is quiet intriguing. What I don't get is Dhri and rest are so guarding for Kushi and they are just sending her with Arnav in public transportation?. Waiting for next chapter.

Thank you! If you don't mind where is this recommendation that everyone has been mentioning?

Also, its Vishwa who is sending her with Arnav. Not Dhri.

Quote

Sultan_Of_Swing

@Sultan_Of_Swing

Sparkler

+ 7

Posted: 11 years ago

#155

This is quite some story. Mahabharatha has always been one of my favorite mythological stories to the point that I'm willingly putting myself through the new series on Star Plus.

To adapt the setting into something temporary is no mean feat. The paradigm of complex relationships is intriguing so far, so are the characterisations of every single person in the story.

It's quite late in the night where I live, I will be back tomorrow with more thoughts.

Quote

J P

@TwilightStar_JP

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#156

Firstly a huge bunch of thanks to Aar! I mean RTlicious!!

Hey buddy! Read it all at one go and now I'm stuck! I want more! :)

Such an amazing plot! An epic in our arshi world and that too blending so well!

The way you characterized them, the way you built the plot went about with the main destinations! All so well written!

The intro! The meeting! Being taken, and standing by the taken feeling all penned down so well!

Swayamvar outstandingly shown! When you had written we'll have only three not five I too thought shyama would marry three brothers but the doubt was baseless pretty soon!

Loved how her brother, vishwa readily agreed with her choice of the groom! Now has papa agreed too is a huge question mark!

Vishwa the could messenger! That update was marvelous! So he knew all along her in and out and just waited for her right match, his own nephew and that too his favorite one at that!

It was lovely to see him as a well wisher and a sakhi!

The restaurant setting and dishes were explained so well!! Outstanding man!

And now the stuck part! Lady you have us all stuck! do continue fast! I understand the note I'm sure this piece of excellent work will eventually get what it deserves!

Cheers

Ps: accept buddy request and do pm :)

Aar thanks once again for the suggestion!! :)

Quote

Nutcase

@dreamymaya

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#157

Now this is an interesting concept. I have come across the mention of this FF through two famous writer's posts and was curious. Of course Mahabharata is a wonderful epic which always enchants me and I wanted to know how you angle it. I just read the chapter one Intel and I am really interested. Dhri and Khushi and Vishwa ---these three have more to them and I would love exploring. Vishwa was painted beautifully - Player, the best one! aha! he is really a sweetheart, isnt he? Will read the rest and let u know..

forgot, the mention about woman of this century and her feelings were bang on! I loved those silent barbs at the society..

Quote

-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#158

I'm just so delighted with the immense support I have got from few folks - i.e., reaching out through their own channels and at their own bidding to promote this story.

THANK YOU AnjuRish, Kalyaani, RTlicious and CravingKhana.

Honestly, if there are others to who I owe credit and haven't mentioned them here, then its only because I don't already know how awesome you have been. Reach out to me!

-H

A dedication: I'm outing Shyama and Arjun's wedding song ahead of time, in your honor ;)

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8BHjNaD0pM[/YOUTUBE]

Neela gaganaa ghanavichalana dharanijaa
(The sky blue skinned one...
One who moves with heaviness...
Daughter of mother earth ...)

sree ramana
madhura vadanaa nalina nayanaa manavi vinara raama
(A face as sweet as honey...
beautiful eyes...
wont u listen to my request...)

Raama chakkani seetaki aracheta gorinta
(To this dear sita of rama and the mehendi in her hand... )

Inta chakkani chukkaki inka evaru mogudanta
(who else could be the husband of this beautiful star?)

Raama chakkani seeta ki
(To this dear sita of rama )

Udata veepuna velu vidichina *pudami alludu raamude
(He is the son-in-law of earth who left his three fingerprints on the back of squirrel ...)

Edama chetanu sivudi villunu ettina aa raamude
(he is the one who lifted the siva danusu with his left hand... )

Ettagalada seeta jadanu taali katte velalo
(wont he be able to lift seethas braided hair while knotting the divine thaali? )

Raama chakkani seetaki..
Erra jabilli cheyi gilli ramudedani adugutunte
(the red moon pinches her hand asking,where is rama)

Chudaledani pedavi cheppe cheppalemani kanulu cheppe
(lips reply I dint see whereas eyes say I cant reply...)

Nallapusainadu devudu nallani raghu raamudu
(black rama became the holy black pearls of your chain, sita )

Raama chakkani seetaki

Chukkanadiga

(I asked the stars)

dikkunadiga
(I asked the directions)

chemmagillina chupunadiga
(I asked the sight drenched in tears)

Neeru pongina kanula lona neeti terale addu niliche
(the tear filled eyes are veiled with curtains of tears itself!)

Chusukomani manasu telipe manasu matalu kaaduga
(your heart says to show you but you never listen to your heart)

Raama chakkani seetaki aracheta gorinta
Inta chakkani chukkaki inka evaru mogudanta
Raama chakkani seeta ki
Induvadanaa kundaradanaa mandagamana
(moon faced, gold laced, slow gaited woman)

Bhaama...
Enduvalana induvadana intamadanaa prema..?
(moon faced...why do you face such turmoil?love?)

Translation courtesy: http://lifeofdeeps.blogspot.com/2010/05/ramachakani-seeta-ki.html

Edited by Lahari. - 11 years ago

Quote

Ubiquitos

@Ubiquitos

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#159

Ah! Awesome. I know that's the word repetitively used :) Kushi I don't know the words, maybe I am mesmerized by her. Somedays ago I read a poem on Draupadi, and this story adds to the vision I have of her, the blue. :).

Quote

-Mitra

@-Mitra

Navigator

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#160

Had to share this favorite legend/folk tale of mine.

It is said that Sita, as a teenager, had unknowingly lifted the Shiv dhanush in her pooja mandiram, just as easily as she would lift a flower basket. King Janaka having witnessed this became aware of Sita's divinity, for it was professed than it took 12 brawny men to push the cart with the Dhanush. This in-tun became the solution to Sita's syamvaram. He declared that he would wed Sita off to the man who could lift the Shiva Dhanush and string it.

Of course, Lord Rama had lifted it with the use of his left hand, subtly declaring his utmost suitability to wed Sita without ever considering to use his right hand.

But, its been narrated that at the time of tying the mangalsutram around Sita's neck, he'd faced some difficulty lifting Sita's thick and adorned braid, much to the delight of Sita's ladies in waiting. Such is the legend of Sita's beautiful locks of hair.

Same is employed in the above song ;)

Edama chetanu sivudi villunu ettina aa raamude
(he is the one who lifted the siva danusu with his left hand... )

Ettagalada seeta jadanu taali katte velalo
(wont he be able to lift seethas braided hair while knotting the divine thaali? )

Edited by Lahari. - 11 years ago