ArHi SS! Escape Velocity [Completed] - Page 21

Created

Last reply

Replies

1.1k

Views

234.5k

Users

215

Likes

5.9k

Frequent Posters

Arani_Kumar thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
i think a PG warning is suitable...but then again my threshold for violence (at least reading about it) is higher than most...

as far as the update goes i have the question:

"Car will be here in ten minutes. I will make you some coffee," Payal said walking towards kitchen. Payal silently followed her but stopped at the threshold of her room. She turned back and looked at the window. The inactivity of it bummed her a little and shook her head thinking about mind playing tricks on her.

Who is she in that scene? Cuz the way you wrote it implies its Payal. So does that mean that she has the violent hallucinations.

And does the epileptic fits (dreams) connect to the string of unsolved murders??obviously khushi doesn't know "how it's all connected" but i guess that's what arnav is there for, i presume?

LOL...i am hypothesizing a whole lot...lmk if i am cold or hot when it comes to my assumptions.
SS88 thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
A very well written article. You write like a seasoned writer, like you re writing a novel. obviously there has to be build up- characters ,scenarios, the surroundings- all of it has to be introduced at a certain pace. As for their ages, well, duh- ACPs handling homicide , that too those who are considered senior and as experts have to be at least 30+. And why does there have to be a reason as to why she's single at 30? She's single, so she's single. Although, if your Khushi is a Kannadiga, it would make sense for her to have a serious reason to be single at 35. I studied in Karnataka, and my local friends told me how in their families, girls generally get married before 25.
opsyellow thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 12 years ago
So khushi is sick. Interesting!
-Reader- thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Visit Streak 30 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
Just read Chapter 3.

I got hang of the story but yet to wrap my head around it, so won't comment much. I am waiting for the plot to thicken and characters to be unveiled (at least first few layers...)

I love the reference to suprabhatam, for any south Indian its no less than national anthem.

About the rating and warning - I would suggest it be included especially for violence etc.
I am no younger but dark stories do impact me and takes a while for me to recoil.

This story reminds me of "Bone collector" and "Taking lives". Angelina Jolie stars in both of them!!
Edited by Prakal - 12 years ago
P4rveen12 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail Networker 2 Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Wow that was quite a gruesome update, the murder part was just so horrifying and made me realise the story will be quite dark. So khushi is ill and is having violent hallucinations, which I'm assuming Payal has noticed and wanted to pen down. I think a warning note should be included at the start of the update just to warn sensitive readers like me, if the update will include violent parts. A brilliant and exceptionally well written update, Please continue soon and thanks for the PM xx
Edited by P4rveen12 - 12 years ago
sweet_5 thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
I just read this FF and I'm hooked! I've seen a few FF's that have Arnav as a cop and I love them! So Arnav sound pretty badass infact I loved his entry in the first chapter!

By the way I love the setting of the story! I can already picture it in my head! I plan on going to india after school but I have made my grandparents promise me that they will take me outside of Punjab where my family is from! I have always wanted to go to goa and other south indian places!

I'm so excited to follow this story and this journey, I'm so interested in Khushi's diagnosis!

I look forward to reading more!!! Xoxoxoxo
Edited by sweet_5 - 12 years ago
Raila1014 thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
You should put a rating on it as I don't think this will be for the faint of heart. This is starting to remind me of silence of the lambs. I was especially creeped out by the last part where Kushi felt someone by her window. Is this creep getting closer to her? Can this thing feel the connection he / she has with Kushi, about her sensing their move? I am also intrigued by how Kushi and Arnav are related, the part where she remembers a younger version of him. Did she see him in her dream as well at one of the investigation or did they actually meet? I love where your story is going. Don't worry this is not too slow for me
fairycake thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
Like all your FF very gripping and refreshingly different. Look forward to reading the next chap. A warning at the start of the ff might be a good idea as its quite gory.
seeta_naips thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 12 years ago
wow, khushi sees crimes taking place
CravingKhana thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 12 years ago
Ok I have finally cought up. Did res some where but the stiry has jumped a bit since so chose to make a new pist insteas of a unres. I am gonna keep reading the updates for a bit b4 i give my take but suffice to say this genre has been selim tackled here given the audience and i look fwd to it. Wising yiu the best

Related Topics

Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

29 days ago

The Unending Dream OS [Completed]

In Every Birth, Find Me The night air in Mathura was thick with monsoon rains. In her small room lit only by a flickering diya, Radhika drifted...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

a month ago

Moh-Maya ~ MayRa OS [Completed]

Whispers of Maya The glass towers of Delhi glittered under the cold moonlight, but inside the corner office of Ruan Publications, darkness...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

2 months ago

Pyaar Ya Rebound? ~ Rumya SS [Completed]

Intro: Rudra fakes a relationship with his best friend Soumya to impress glamorous Bhavya-but ends up falling for the one girl who truly knew...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: desidillse

4 months ago

ArShi OS : Pyaar Ka Naghma {Completed} ArShi OS : Pyaar Ka Naghma {Completed}

[NOCOPY] P Y A A R. K A. N A G H M A. "Friends?" a little boy extended his hand towards a girl which she responded. They smiled and embraced...

Expand ▼
Fan Fictions Thumbnail

Posted by: Aleyamma47

5 months ago

Student of the Year: When Love Lost Its Way [Completed]

Author's Note: Based on the Prompt by @JasmineRahul in Submit Writing Prompt Thread who requested for writing: The alternative version of the...

Expand ▼
Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".