Posted:
Res!
Edited-
This chapter was all about Arnav and his father.
And yayyy!! I was right. His parents used him against each other.
So, the Arnav here is a typical angry young man!!
'I can not apologize enough for what I just said. But can you try to forgive me beta?' Sumer started.
'It's been a very rough evening and I am under tremendous pressure. I know you don't like to talk about Khushi but she is facing the worst nightmare of a girl's life right now. Trust me beta, it isn't like I choose her over you or anything. In the desperation to save her from social stigma my thinking got clouded for a while. I will never expect you to compromise your life for anyone. It was a grave mistake on my part to ask you to marry her and I accept it. But there was no ill intention or dirty trick involved. Trust me beta. I have disappointed you several times I agree, but have I ever broken your trust?' Sumer tried to extract some answer out of his son.
'Please don't go back. I will do whatever you will ask me to. Just don't go back beta. I want you near me. I have been living without you since last 11 years and I don't want to continue like this anymore. Arnav, stay beta' he pleaded.
I love how he apologized. It was genuine.
Would his parents ever understand how much they have hurt him and how deep his scars are? I think he feels that nobody would want him. That he is inherently flawed.
You don't WANT me. You NEED me. I am a need for you, to take care of your business, heir to your Raizada name. Now you need me to fill in the place of a runaway groom. When had you guys ever wanted me?' Arnav spoke, traces of anger showing from under the chilled tone.
The last line in the above dialogue was from a boy, not a man. That little boy who was left alone. Who was manipulated using affections and who now rejects affection. He doesn't allow affection to affect him..
I wish someone would just hug him and make him understand that everybody is meant to be cherished and loved. Guess that is where Khushi comes in.
Arnav did not even know what raw nerve had he touched in his anger today. He shook his head and stared into the space Arnav had been staring at since last 10 minutes.'There are so many things my broken child still doesn't know about his mother, and I will keep it this way. No more misery for my son' he told himself once more, like he has been telling since last 5 years that he has got him back in his life.
I can understand from where Sumer's anger stemmed from..
'I WANT to be with you beta. I want to be with you, that is why I come running to meet you every year in New York. About taking care of business. Now that you handle Raizada Constructions , you do realize that if we shut down all our ventures right now, we have more than enough money to last us our life time, don't you? As for Raizada name, I care for it as long as I am alive, after that it is not my concern and I do not wish to burden you with it. And I am sorry about the marriage thing, shouldn't have said anything actually that I said there. Any other thing that makes you think I need and not want my flesh and blood near me?' Sumer finished patiently with a question.
So, he still feels guilty and wants to make amends.. The above para is one of honest things he has said to Arnav and I think Arnav is surprised by the idea of a choice. To take up the reins or not is entirely u to him..
'I know you hold it against me, whatever happened between us in your hostel and after that, and rightfully so. I knew that she was feeding you lies and instead of protecting you I abandoned you in anger. I should have not given up beta, but I was so tired of trying to make things normal. My hate for your mother over powered my love for you that time, and I will always regret that. All my life' Sumer said honestly.
Arnav's mother was not fit to be called a woman. I want to strangle her and that is surprising because I'm usually a non-violent person. I think her ultimate punishment to Sumer was making him sever all ties with his son and knowing that he has to live with that guilt all his life.
Arnav shouldn't really blame himself for trusting his mother, because like the age old adage goes- matha, pitha, guru, deivam. The mother comes first. Always. For someone so starved of love, it wasn't his fault.
Arnav's eyes snapped to his dad. This was the first time he had brought THAT event up. The precise reason why it took Arnav so much time to trust his dad's love enough to move in with him. That day marked his dad's indifference towards him, when he gave up on Arnav like a lost cause.Left him with his mother, like Arnav had wanted, like his mother had always planned.
Arnav gulped trying to reign in the emotions that were crowding his heart. Unknowingly, today his dad has given Arnav's aching heart the closure it was looking for. What had happened can not be changed, but him accepting it helped. With these words the hurt of his father's indifference got salved inside his heart today. He needed to know that his dad realizes that his giving up on him all those years back had made him insecure that he is not that important to him. That it was holding back Arnav from accepting his love now, for he can take it back any time he wants.
The above paragraphs were beautifully penned. His insecurity, acute vulnerability. His thoughts on his importance. I don't know how to sum it up, but it was beautiful.
Not just this paragraph, but the others that follow till Arnav speaks up. A little bit of the past that has moulded his present, but is gradually freeing him of it's clutches, the beginning of which was the conversation between the father and son. I think Sumer earned the right to be called his father that day only then.
'I don't hate you, you know that right?' Arnav spoke up finally.
I loved the above line. A peace offering of sorts, an olive branch and a small window into his heart.
'About tonight, I think me going back would be better. I don't think I'll fit in here now and I cannot play second fiddle to that girl in this house' Arnav looked squarely into his father's eyes.
'That girl ... has a name. And if you leave, I come with you this time' Sumer said with all the conviction he could muster.
This conversation reveals so much, in so few words. Sumer doesn't want to do the same mistake he did back then. His son comes above all else and I think Arnav understood it, although he had a hard time believing it.
Arnav's doubts are revealed when- 'Are you pulling a mom on me by shifting continents for me?' Arnav tried to ignore the sincerity in his father's eyes.
'No. As I said I don't want to live away from you anymore. I go where you go' came back the reply. Sumer was learning to get through his strong-willed son, who was still a love starved child from inside.
Then what about that... I mean Khushi and buaji' Arnav narrowed his eyes.
'They'll understand. I won't live for eternity. Its time I live with my son now' Sumer said while rubbing his chest, over his heart region.
'Are you okay dad?' Arnav got alarmed.
He still isn't convinced and I don't blame him. But I think his father is trying to make him understand and I think that counts for a lot, coming from a man who let go because he couldn't fight any longer.
FINE. I won't leave. Now give me your phone dad' Arnav gave in. He might never accept it aloud, but his dad has become very important to him. His pillar of strength.
Arnav being scared of losing his father is perfectly understandable. His confession that his father means something to him was the first step of many. I'm guessing the filmy part of Sumer comes from Khushi?
I understand why Sumer did it, for otherwise Arnav wouldn't have stayed..
Brilliant chapter. I loved it..
Please update soon..
Can't wait to read more.
And ArHi are meeting in the next chapter.
Fireworks are expected.. 😆
Also, please don't kill off his father or Buaji in this story.
Thanks for the PM..
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