Once Upon A Time...RT-MC FF - Page 11

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ridzzi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago

Originally posted by: glossyglassy

First of all, I'm really really sorry di for my very late reply 😭

So I finally read it and it was great!! 😃

I loved the starting few lines that you wrote before the banner as a preview to the story

And the prologue/intro was beautifully written. Made up for a very interesting read!

I like the name of the 1st part...very apt

Love the bond between Dharamveer😳

Loved how Dharam agreed to all of veer's demand 'coz he knew it was no use arguing with him...😆

So Dharam Sia meet and he is a total goner😉

The part were Veer is running and then he realizes that his bro is still lost in dreamland was really funny!! 😆

And after reaching forest they start blame game...hilarious!!😆

So veer plays flute...just like Krishna kanhaiya😉

So veer-ananya dashed and played rolling rolling game😉😆

Di...your description of Ananya's beauty was totally amazing👏

Love the fact you gave her blue eyes..

Well first mulakat pe fight toh hona hi tha...but I lovd the staring session😳

The part where Dharam faces identity crisis was sooo funny!!😆

And your immaculate calculation of ages and character sketches of so many characters shows that you have given a lot of thought into this FF 👍🏼

Loved the character sketches⭐️

So both Kranti and Sanjaya love Sakshi

But I didn't understand who actually Maya is. How is she related to the Thakur family?

I loved Meera-Mohan characters...naam bhi aapne achhe choose kiye hain

Also liked Daimaa's char'.

Thx for starting this FF😊

Keep up the good work

Waiting for the next update😃

And again sorry for the late comment

Lov u...🤗


oh please don't say sorry dear...and i think i forgot to mention it, maya is arjun's wife...
thank for your sweet comment...luv u too...😊
ridzzi thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago

THE PREPARATION OF ARRIVAL AND A STRANGER:-



( sorry for grammtical mistake)


THE TRIBAL BASTI (ARYANAGAR'S STREET):-


Almost after six years the day has arrived when all the three prince were coming back to the palace after completing their studies. An aura of happiness was their in aryanagar.The whole aryanagar was getting decorated like some festival was their. The palace guards were decorating the whole streets of aryanagar with flowers as per the instructions of the king and the people were happy and decorating the whole aryanagar to welcome all the three prince.


THE ARYANAGAR PALACE:-


The whole aryanagar palace was decorated like a bride with flower's and diya's. The mates were making rangoli's at every enterance of the palace to add more charm to the beauty of the palace.Their was a huge rush in the palace,the cooks were putting their full efforts as they have to make the special dish called chappan bhog for the royals and extra food also because the whole aryanagar was invited to welcome all the three prince and for the feast also.

A lady in her late 50's,wearing a white khadi ghaghra-choli with dark blue chunari was walking fastly through the corridors as a huge smile was playing on her lips and her eyes were shinning with happiness.


THE PALACE TEMPLE (ONLY FOR ARYAVARATS OR KSHATRIYAS):-


A lady in her late 40's was sitting infront of the lord shiva and godess parvati,wearing a white creamy royal dress,hands joined and eyes closed in prayer.

''ranimaa'':-a voice came from behind, the lady opened her eyes,bowed down her head and taking the blessing, she got up and turned with her pooja ki thaal with a sweet smile and asked to the lady standing infront in white khadi dress:''yes sunanda, is their any news of them? Where did they reached till now?''.

''ranimaa they are on their way,soon they will reach at daulatpur and will arrive tomorrow morning in aryanagar'':-sunanda informed.

''oh sunanda,6 years almost after 6 year I will see my veer, my little veer, how he will look?, is he the same naughty veer or he has changed?, sunanda I can't wait to see my childrens, when will they arrive?'':-queen nivrati asked getting impatient with happiness as tears started to brimming in her eyes remembering her 6 years old kids.

''ranimaa they are arriving tomorrow morning,then you can see them as per wish'':-sunanda consoled her.

''oh yes they are arriving tomorrow and it's almost evening, is all the arrangements have been done?'':-nivrati asked getting impatient and tensed.

''yes ranimaa, don't worry I have seen all the preparations and all the things are in their order and we have also managed their rooms as they like ranimaa'':-sunanda confirmed.

''ok, where is bhaiya?, I want to meet him'':-nivrati asked.

''he is in his room with queen, ranimaa'':-sunanda informed.

''ok I will go to bhaiya and you go and ask the cooks to make special kheer for veer and rasmalai for dharam and agni, as they liked it very much'':-queen nivrati commanded and moved outside to meet her brother.


IN THE WAY OF DAULATPUR:-


It was almost evening, two horses one is of white and another one is of brown were racing with each other, making the dust around them blow with full speed and blocking their ways and a chariot with two young handsome teenagers on them was following it. Soon the dust around them cleared and two extremely handsome and dashing personalities came out with huge smiles and was looking at each other as if challenging each other. Soon the rider on brown horse stopped his journey and looked somewhere curiously and the chariot too stopped behind him and the rider on white horse also stopped as he realised that his competitor has halted his journey and was not with him, he turned and shouted:-''what happen dharma, you got scared that I will make you regret for challenging me''.

''shut up veer, I know who will win but right now we have to rest as we are continuously moving from tomorrow evening, see there is a temple, we can rest their for few minutes and then we can continue our journey":-dharam replied while pointing towards a temple.

''oh yes veer we too are tired now, let's have some rest otherwise our news of death will reach before our arrival at your palace'':-one younger lad who is on the chariot said while the tiredness can be clearly seen on his handsome but innocent face.

''yes veer, kanha is right we should rest, we are continuously moving without halting for a second'':-another lad on the chariot said with same tiredness.

''ok,ok why you all are begging at me, I am not that heartless like agni, let's go":-veer said it with a mocking grin to which agni made a irritated face while other two silently grinned on veer's comment.

''veer you will never going to change'':-dharam said it while shooking his head in unbelievement with a light smile. After that all the four youngster moved towards the temple,they came down and moved inside the temple, bowed their heads infront of the lord Krishna and then sat their on the floor:-''where is the bag of fruits which I have brought from the gurukul'':-prince kanha asked with an curious face.

''kanha you have actually brought fruits from the gurukul?":- agni asked looking irritated at his friend's stupid act.

''yes agni I have taken some fruits from the gurukul as it will help in our journey,you know whenever I am hungry i am not able to control myself,I mean I can't tolerate my hunger":-kanha replied innocently while getting totally embarrassed.

''oh kanha you are really too innocent you can not tolerate your hunger even just for one day'':-dharam said while smiling at his friends innocent behavior:-''may be you have forget it in the chariot, veer go and see'':-dharam ordered him.

Listening him veer looked at him while raising his eyebrows:-''me?, why me?, kanha has to eat then he will go, why will I ?''.

''veer please go, just look at kanha '':-everyone looked at him, he was cutely and hopefully looking at veer and it brought a huge smile on dharma and veer's face while agni made an annoying face on his reaction.

''ok ok I will go, don't make these kind of faces'':-veer said it, got up and moved down the temple to bring the bag of fruits.

As he reached the chariot he searched for the bag and after few seconds he was finally able to get it. He was about to move from their when his eyes fell on something strange. He curiously looked in the direction and found a girl in white lehenga with light blue chunari was standing at the edge of the river which is on the backside of the temple facing her back. Her body was glowing in the lights of setting sun and her black open hair which were reaching till her heaps was blowing and was shining like morning rays, her bangles were making melodious voice and a morpankh was their in her kamarbandh .Veer moved forward a little to see her from infront when someone's voice stuck to his ears,he turned and saw kanha standing on the edge of the temple and was looking at him impatiently:-''veer what happen, did you get it?''.

''yes'':-he replied and showed the bag to him and signaled him to wait and again turned his gaze to the girl but to his utter shock, no one was their, only complete silence, beautiful scenery and cool breez was their.Veer curiously looked here and there but no one was around him, he confusedly looked around and moved back to the temple but while going towards the temple he was continuously turning back and was looking in the direction where he saw the girl some moments ago.


THE ARYANAGAR PALACE ( KING ARYAVARDHAN'S PRIVATE ROOM):-


Queen nivrati reached at her brothers room and knocked:-''come in'':-a manly voice came from inside. Queen nivrati entered with a smile:-''bhaiya did you got the news, they have reached till daulatpur and will arrive tomorrow morning in aryanagar''.

''yes nivrati, I know that, I am so happy finally we are able to see our childrens after a long time, this wait is getting unbearable by every passing second'':-king aryavardhan said while taking a deep breath.

''oh yes my children, finally they are here oh lord when they will arrive'':-queen padmavati said as tears started to roll down her cheeks.

''oh bhabhi why are you crying? Bhabhi you are really too much, they are coming here not going away, just be happy, there is no place for these tears now'':-queen nivrati said while wiping queen padmavati's tears.

''nivrati you know your bhabhi, she has a habbit to cry on every little things whether in happiness or in any other situation'':-king aryavardhan said, to which queen padmavati smiled embarrisingly and queen nivrati and king aryavardhan started to giggle on her reaction.

''by the way nivrati, magadhian's are also visiting our kingdom few days later so we have also welcome them, so it's your responsibility to look after the preparation to welcome them'':-king aryavardhan informed.

''sure bhaiya, I will, you just don't worry about it. I will look after everything'':-nivrati assured him.

''so hwz the preparation is going on to welcome our little kids'':-queen padmavati asked.

''bhabhi they are not kids now, they have grown up and the preparation are going on and all the things are in their order, sunanda is personaly looking at all the arrangements, we just have to wait for the morning'':-nivrati replied.


AT THE TEMPLE (DAULATPUR):-


Veer reached inside the temple holding the bag with confused expression:-''what take you that much of time?, veer does it take that much of time to bring just a bag?'':-kanha asked while snatching the bag from veer's hand.

''veer what happen?, why did you took that much of time to bring that bag?'':-dharam asked looking at his brother's confused face.

''ah'..hmmm''.nothing, it's just I have saw something strange at the river side which is on the back side of the temple'':-veer said looking at the same place again where he saw the girl some moments ago.

''strange?, what strange thing veer?'':- kanha asked while concentrating on his fruit more than veer's confusion.

''leave it, may it was just my illusion, I think we have rested enough, we have to move now, otherwise we will not able to reach at aryanagar tomorrow morning'':- veer said while dragging his brother with his arms.

''veer stop it, what are you doing?, let me get up first'':- dharma shouted and all the four younger lad moved down the temple and again began their journey towards their kingdom.


============================


HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT...

LUV RADHIKA...😊

Edited by ridzzi - 12 years ago
rasp_berry thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Whenever i read this story, d days of DV started to flash infront of my eyes. Seriously i like dis story... Nd i must say u r a fab writter whether it is os or ff, u write too well.

Do ud soon...
sweetsanyo thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
res..
wil edit soon..
~~EDITED~~

kinna acha caha tha..
dv days ki yaad aa jati h jab bhi once upon a time padhti hun...

kya voh dinn vaps aayenge.. rtmc on tv???😭
missing dem badly...

chalo wid stry..
description on aryanagar streets and palace..
nivitri in temple scene.. kaamal ka likha h di aapne,
i cud visualise it..
its so much capturinf..

veer ki entry..
horse ke duad.. horse race... sand around settleing down..
handsome face cming in view, ka entry h by god...
ek dum champion wali entry...

kya voh shera thi...
haan bolo do plz..
coz veer ko voh psnd aa gyi h...
sirf jhalak hi kaafi thi shera ki veer ko latuu banane k liye, wow...
isliye tho veer bar bar dekhne ka try krr raha tha usse...

han han, chalo jaldi chalo..
aryanagar k mahal main veer ki kheer n dhram n agni ki rasmalai wait krr rhi h...

wait tho baki ghar wale bhi kerr rhe h, but .. voh sab.. kheer n rasmalai k samne itna matter nhi karta😆


desperately waiting fr their 1st meet...😍( me in dreamland already)

ud soon di
lov u

Edited by sweetsanyo - 13 years ago
sweetnandu thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
that was a lovely update..
pls do update soon..
and that girl is Ananya right.
wanted to c their first meet..😍
ASADsweetZOYA thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
👏awesome part dear
loved it

thnx 4 the pm😊
glossyglassy thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
All the preparations were described beautifully by u...
I could see everything happening
Kanha is so sweet and cute
Loved the mysterious stranger...I love such scenes full of intrigue
Eagerly waiting for next part
lov u...
pranita1202 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
ridz i felt as if i was watching the epi
u r description is mindblowing

love the 3 prince,except agni hate him

o the stranger .hmmm

she is so mugs , she might be doing morning pooja.

evem though she leads the tribe , she might b very sanskari

veer lost in her

or else it was a ghost or something like that

i wil go wid the first option

as selfish rtmc fan plz plz jaldi se meeting karado ,humare super fantastic couple ki😊
Edited by pranita1202 - 13 years ago
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Posted: 13 years ago
sorry for late commenting
update was awesome ...very nice
n ur description is fab as always
n veer's answer was hillarious
''me?, why me?, kanha has to eat then he will go, why will I ?''.🤣
really veer would be veer only .kabhi nahi badlega
liked nivutti's concern abt arrangement n who these guest are coming abt which maharaj is talking abt
n that girl who that girl...Ohhh !! ananya to nahi 🤔
kanha .if u came little bit late then veer would able to met that girl
It's ok ...ur name is kanha so I forget u
I think there would be amazing meeting of Veer n Anu we are going to see ...m I right
waiting for next update 😍
Update soon
love u
--Rose-- thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
Omg:-D Wowww What a BEAUTIFUL update dear:-) Hayee Veer Is so smart:-) :-) Jus LOVED IT:-) :-):-) plz cont..

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