*A FairyTale Ending* - SaJan Story - Page 40

all the best for exams dear 👍🏼

TWO YEAR LATER

09.09.2014

Dear Diary,

Its been two years since I have written anything in any diary. I had forgotten what it was like to write down my thoughts, but I have come back to my old senses. I shouldn't have burnt my diary. I shouldn't have burnt my thoughts, but that time I chose to. I regret it now, but that doesn't count. I should have kept the diary. The part which I burned was very important in my life, it changed my life completely... And I burnt it. But I couldn't erase the memories from my mind, could I?. Two years had passed, That's a long time, eh? But I still think of him when I sit alone, I still gaze at my door hoping that he would walking through them and give me a big hug...

Want to know what happened the past years? After Samrat left, I tried to put myself back together thinking that I could move on. One month down the line, I realised that I would never be able to move on emotionally, because I was in Love. I was in love with Samrat. It was never Louis, it was no one but him. He was the only person who understood me, he was the only one who cared and I pushed him away from myself because I realised my feelings too late. I couldn't believe it! All those descriptions and dreams about my prince charming, all that was rubbish! My prince was right here in front of me, giving me all sorts of signs but I was stupid to ignore every one of them. I was such a fool, Samrat was a real prince, he did everything in his power to see me happy, to see me smile, and all I did was push him away. I realised during Dia's wedding. Seeing her get married to Mayank, I thought of my marriage, but I couldn't imagine Louis as the groom, the only face I saw was Samrat's. And from then, every night I saw the same dream, that Samrat was waking me up and telling me how much he loved me. Every night I saw myself in his arms. It brought comfort, satisfaction, it was just blissful to see him near me. I could feel him by my side. Everything seemed so real, but when I opened my eyes I was just curled up, hugging my pillow. I was alone. At first, I thought I was going mad because my best friend had left and I was feeling lonely, but as slow as I was, I realised that this wasn't because I was lonely, but this was happened because now, when he had gone, I realised what he meant to me. When he was there, I had never even for once given it a thought. I had always taken him for granted. Always thought about everything but him... I always thought our friendship was special, like, one in a million, or even a zillion. But I never realised what its called, LOVE.

He left, and didn't look back even once. No calls. No texts. He must have forgotten me, was what I thought. I still think he did. Louis, we broke up soon after I realised how I felt. I couldn't keep him hanging. He said he was alright but I knew how terrible he must be feeling. He really loved me and I felt horrible refusing his love, I had already ruined my life, I couldn't ruin Louis'. But I couldn't accept it, because I had nothing to give in return. He said he understood but I still feel guilty...

Dia and Mayank, are very happy in their new lives. Obviously we meet up. But now she's a mother of a small baby boy. He is a year old. Mayank didn't wait even 4 months after his marriage, he wanted a kid desperately. Benji also has a job in Dubai. He is happy and is looking for girl to get married. I am helping him. I really doubt he'll ever find someone like himself. He hasn't changed a bit. Still the same funny benji who thought he was a superstar! If I think about it, I have everything, I shouldn't be sad, but, from within only I know how lonely I get at parties, how lonely I feel when I sit at a gathering and there is no one to talk to. No Samrat nudging me from the side showing me how funnily a lady was dressed, or cracking jokes about the people around. He wasn't there anymore, to dance with me, to annoy me, to pull my leg in front of everyone.. He wasn't there.

Life hasn't been great since he left, but I have learnt to be independent. I had been too dependant on him. I have let him in too deep. And now when he left, it hurt, the pain severed my heart and ruptured my mind. But I still have one thing. My Dream. Today, I am a well known Interior designer, probably the best in the city, as many say. I have my own company called, 'Designit – GS Interiors.' But all I know is every morning I think of dad, and keep going. I love my job, and I have learnt to live my life in a better way. All day when I'm at office, I have no problems. I put all my mind to my work and by the end of the day I am too exhausted to think of anything else. So, you can say that I'm happy. I talk to about a 30 clients everyday, Thats socializing, check. I cook dinner for mom and me, Thats house work, check. Then mom and I go shopping every weekend, Thats outings, check. And I have to attend a lot of parties, so Thats check. So my life has nothing missing, as for love, I love my mother and my job, already two loves, so check!

I have known where Samrat has been for the past 6 months thanks to the news channels. Yes, Samrat Shergill , The No. 1 Business Tycoon in the world. A multi-millionaire and an inspiration for many youngsters. He's been on the front page of practically every newspaper and made the headlines several times. "The Youngest & Brightest Future Of The Nation". Our separation has made both of us very successful. So maybe it was the right decision. I try to avoid thinking about it as much as I can, but its difficult. He has his own special place in my heart, but I've learnt to shut my heart whenever I want. I don't have any feelings in me anymore. I am a professional being, and everything about me is professional.

But I think, now I am finally getting used to my life. I am happy with mom. She is a great woman and my role model. We are always there for each other, and she is the one person I know will be there with me till her last breathe. We are happy in our lives. Some empty spaces but on the whole, I have learned to live. I am a new person. Not the old Gunjan. A new one. A better one. A more independent one. I was going to get through life. I didn't need someone else to be there, I didn't need anyone's help. I was independent. I was proud of myself. And since then I promised myself, that I will never let anything get in between my work & me, unless its mom, ofcourse.

I shut the diary and then looked down at today's newspaper, there it goes again.

" Samrat Shergill : Spotted in Australia's Annual Businessmen's Association "

8^th September'14 at Sydney, Australia : Samrat Shergill, who is better known as the future of the nation was spotted with his family at the royal dinner for the the Businessman of Year's award. After receiving his award, we interviewed his proud father who had a lot to say about him, "I am overwhelmed by the amount he has achieved at such a young age. I had never dreamt that my son, who had just scraped through college somehow would make me so proud" he said laughing...

We also caught Mr. Samrat Shergill who spoke to us about his dreams, "In college, I was good at Basketball and I would ride bikes and play the guitar than study or do anything creative. That was my life. I didn't know what I was going to do with life. But here I am today, making my dreams come true.." He also has a message for all youngsters out there who are inspired by this great man, "To all young people out there, BELIEVE. If you believe in yourself, then there is Nothing, absolutely nothing that can stop you from reaching out and grasping your dreams, and soon, you'll achieve everything you ever wanted, if not more!" It was very nice speaking to him, and when we asked him what initiated him to work so hard he remained silent..

My mind trailed off.. "I wish you would have believed in me Samrat. In us... I wish.." I mumbled subconsciously. I had to clean my room faster. For that last 2 hours I was cleaning it and I still hadn't suceeded. The first thing I took outof my cupboard were my old journals. I sat and read them all again, and then I realised that what happened in these two years were not there, and what happened the previous year I had burnt. I was disappointed in my self. My impulsive decisions were often wrong. After Samrat read my diary and took of I was raged. So I burnt down all my feelings everything. Well, Thats over.

I got up and started to take out my dresses and empty the drawers, I needed space for my work files and I had to get rid of my college stuff now. It had been two years and I had done absolutely NO cleaning. I was scared because everything related to college would remind me of him. It would remind me that I was lonely, it would remind me that I didn't have my best friend by my side, it would remind me how I felt for him.. And obviously I didn't want to be reminded. Not again.I picked up my college books and kept them in a separate stack and all my other things in one stack. I emptied my drawers and came across the album Samrat had given me, and the note. I laughed as I read it. I was the excotic blueberry of his life and he left me, at the end, Thats it. Then I saw the dress, the dress mom had given me for my birthday! I still hadn't got a chance to wear that. I thought.

I sighed again and started to finish up qickly without thinking too much. I wanted to chuck that piece of paper but I couldn't that was the only good memories of us together and the photos in the album made me cry. I put them away really fast, not wanting to look at them for long! I cleared up my cupboard of all the teenage-clothes. No more strappy tops, short-shorts, three quarters and all, it was just formal stuff, 3-4 dresses for office parties, my regular pants and shirts. My coats, My salwar suits for indian ceremonies we attend and some pairs of jeans for Sundays, Thats all I was keeping. I didn't really go on holidays, I hadn't gone for the past two years atleast, but I still kept a few sun dresses and swim-wear. That was about it. My life was, Jog-Home-Office-Home-Sleep, six days a week, and the seventh day, only sleep. In the next 30 minutes everything was set, Thats how fast I am when I don't have any distractions, and me, I like to keep it that way. And now, I had to pack.

Yes, we were flying to New York for mom's fashion show, I decided to be there, atleast once to see how well she was doing! "Gunjan.." mom came huddling in. "Are you ready, our flight leaves in 2 hours, we have to be at the airport in an hour. "Yeah, Im ready, was just reading the newspaper, he's on the cover again." I said. "I have sent him and his family an invitation.." she said with slight hope. She knew how I felt for Samrat, yes, I had told her. I had to confide in someone. Even Dia knew it. Though she claimed that she knew it before I did. "They won't come mom. They're in Australia.. Look" I showed her the newspaper. Mom took it. "I'll call Dia & Benji and check if they've left." I said trying to change the subject and hide my sorrow. The good part was Dia & Benji were going to be there for mom's show, so I was not going to get bored. Mayank couldn't come because he had to go out on business work. ARUNDHATI SINGHANIA was written on the label of all dresses. I shut my eyes once again and prayed to god, that mom's show is a super hit. She had done so much for me, and I was going to make sure this fashion show is a hit.

"Gunjan hold Dhruv please." Dia said shoving her son onto my lap, while sitting in the flight. She was never good at all this but she still tried her best. She looked very beautiful in a saree which enhanced her beauty even more. I designed Mayank & Dia's new flat for them, and since then, everytime Mayank sees me he compliments me on the flat. He says its the best he's ever seen! He is a really sweet person! Dia dug into Dhruv's bag and then finally after finding his milk bottle, she took him from me. Dhruv was a darling. He looked just like Dia. Fair, chubby and had brownish-golden hair. I don't know where he got that from. But when I looked at him I forgot about everything. He had a certain depth in his eyes which would make everyone around him wonder what he was thinking about. Mom always said that small children, when they are infants they can see images from their past life, which explains their sudden cry or laugh. And as they grow up the images become blurred and are finally replaced by memory of this life. I don't know how much is true but that theory seems reasonable enough.

I shut my eyes and pushed my seat back. Life had changed so suddenly, who had known that in just a few years my career would be at its peak, and Samrat wouldn't be there with me. Today, I regretted taking Samrat for granted. 'Where is he going?! He'll always be around...' I had always thought. And now he was gone. Today, I realise his worth. Today, I realised how important he was in my life...

But now it was over, I knew I could never get him back, he was far out of my reach now, and the main thing was that he had moved on. Clearly he didn't have the same feelings for me anymore. Obviously, he had forgotten he had a friend who never appreciated him. He had thrown all old memories and thoughts out and finally gone ahead and started a new life ! I couldn't ruin that for him, could I? I knew he wouldn't come, but my heart still had a faint hope to see him there.

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superb

that was a mind blowing update
keep it up
hope the meet some time soon

manjiii 🤗🤗🤗 wowww awesome upd sweety truly loved it 👏👏 u penned down gunjan's emotions her feelings her regret , her love for samrat , i loved the fact she reached heights with her hard work same with samrat i truly loved it 👏 i hope gunjan will get samrat back in her life can't wait for next upd do upd soon n all the best for ur exam 🤗🤗🤗

heyyy manjii🤗hows u??hope ur exams are going well..🤗

awesome update manji loved it ❤️