Arsha FF~Start of Something Beautiful~Thread1 - Page 88

'Time flies.'

Whoever said that was definitly right. Before she knew it two entire months had already passed in New York. She loved this city. It was a beautiful concrete jungle with the hustle bustle of daily life day and night. It truly was the city that never slept.

Although it was super easy to get caught up in the rush of New York City, Shakti couldn't help but feel alone and empty in this anjaan sheher. How was she to feel complete and at ease when she had to live with the burden that the only person she ever fell in love with is heartbroken because of her?

In the past two months Kunwar hadn't tried to reach her or talk to her even once. In fact whenever she tried to call him he never picked up. So after a while she had given up. For all she knew he had probably moved on and found a better girl, someone that would truly value and appreciate him in a way she had been unable to.

[While writing this scene I was listening to this song as it fits the situation perfectly. Sajna Aa Bhi Ja

After a busy day of vigorous training Shakti finally returned to her one bedroom flat that she had rented for her 3 month stay. She was feeling immensely restless and low today. It was a Friday and she had an empty weekend ahead of her. Her days flew by because of her packed schedule of dance classes but Sturday always came after Friday. She hated the weekends. It gave her too much time to think and regret.

She quickly climbed into the shower and stood under the hot water pouring down, allowing her knotted muscles to relax after hours of practice. Since she didnt have anything else to do, Shakti took a nice long shower and then plopped onto her bed in front of the TV, aimlessly flipping thru channels. She finally came across some random movie and focused her attention.

What she had thought to be a light-hearted comedy turned out to be a sappy chic-flic where two lovers get seperated only to be united in the end due to their undying love.

The male lead was finally professing his love for the actress, who happily ran into his arms for a kiss. Shakti stiffened as she realized what was going on. She always conciously made an effort to avoid all things that could even slightly remind her of what she had left behind. So romance movies were definitly a big no-no. She quickly flipped the channel to a mediocre reality show. But it was too late. Her mind was already flooded with pain and guilt. All she could see was one face before her eyes. All she could here was one voice.

Shakti couldn't fight the tears anymore. They flowed freely down her face. But this time Kunwar wasn't there to wipe them away. He wasnt there to comfort her and tell her that everything would be okay, that he would fix everything for her.

She curled up on her bed and finally after holding them in for so long she let her emotions run free. She finally let all the fear, anger, insecurity, betrayal, and every other emotion come out, everything she had kept bottled up for so long. Anger and betrayal because he refused to understand her. Insecurity because she was incomplete without him and fear because she didnt know if she would be able to get him back.

It usually hurt her to think about him but now that she was already in pain she might as well allow herself to relive all her time with him.

She lay there remembering each and every moment she had shared with Kunwar. How they first met in Terence ki Toli in DID2. How they performed for the first time together in Khuda Jaane and became Arsha. How that was the start of a beautiful friendship. How with each others support they fought their way up to the top 5 in DID2. The day she won DID2 and Kunwar was there to share her success with her. How after a year they were reunited in D3 as the lead couple for the show. Together they created Kriyansh. His support and enthusiasm during shoot when she would need motivation. How once he realized it he proclaimed his love for her. Their first date. How Sneha plotted to get them together and the rest of the gang teased them all the time. The time she got drunk and he took care of her. All the fun and masti they had with their friends. Their trip to Macau and then Goa. And finally the time when he found out about her decision to quit D3 and go to New York. The fury and betrayal on his face haunted her till this day. She couldnt think of him without seeing the pained and defeated look she had last seen on his face before she left for New York.

Sometimes she wondered if all that agony and torment that she had inflicted on both herself and Kunwar was worth it. Why had she done it? Why had she chosen dance over him? Why had she left him behind to pursue her dream when it was incomplete without him? She herself didnt know the answers.

There was no doubt that dance was her first love but so was Kunwar. There was no doubt that she cant live or breathe without dance but she cant do that without Kunwar either. What is she supposed to choose when both her options are equally important? How can she choose between the two? Which choice is the right one?

She cried and cried until she lost consciousness in the haze of pain and loneliness.

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Three months of vigorous dance training was finally over. It was time to return home.

Shakti grabbed her bags and hailed a taxi.

"LaGuardia Airport please" she told the driver.

She looked out the window watching all the hustle bustle of the city pass by one last time. It was time to leave all the bright, colorful lights and huge buildings behind. She bid her final farewell to the city that never sleeps and hoped that one day she could return under better circumstances and truly enjoy the feel of New York City.

She reached the airport, checked her bags in and waited in the terminal for her flight to be announced.

When the annoucement came she boarded the plane and prepared for take off. As the plane began to move she felt a familiar fear hit her. A lone tear escaped from the corner of her eye as she remembered the time Kunwar reassured her during their Macau trip. Too bad he wasnt here to comfort her once again.

The entire flight was quite uneventful except for her unsettled thoughts. She kept wondering if Kunwar would ever forgive her? Would he want her back? Could he give her a second chance? There was a strange restlessness within her. Her conflicting thoughts kept her awake throughout the entire flight.

By the time the plane landed in Mumbia Shakti had taken her final decision.

She wouldn't bother Kunwar anymore! He deserved much better than her. He deserved someone that would value and love him more than she had been able to. Someone that would prioritize him without any hesitation. She had been unable to do all that and so she concluded that she wasnt good enough for his love and attention.

As she forced herself to accept this decision she felt another break in her heart. She hadnt thought there was anything else left that could cause her more pain. She had thought that she had beared all the pain a person can live with but apparently there was more. She gladly welcomed the grief as long as it meant Kunwar was safe from her. With new determination set on her face she moved forwarded to embrace her own created future.

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"Mom I missed your cooking so much. I was getting tired of burgers and pizza." Shakti sat at the dining table with her entire family. Everyone had gathered to welcome her home.

"I know. Now stop your talking and eat." her mom ordered putting another paratha on her plate.

"Not fair mom. You never lovingly feed us like that." Mukti complained. "Kriti I think we should run away since Shaks and Neeti di get all the attention." They all laughed.

After dinner all the sisters gathered in Shakti's room to make up for all the missed time together. They all inquired about her trip to New York and the sisters talked late into the night. Sometime after midnight Kriti began to doze off.

"Chal Kriti, let's get to bed." Neeti said taking her younger sister to her room, leaving Mukti and Shakti alone.

Mukti rested her head on Shakti's lap.

"I missed you alot Shaks" Mukti murmured in a low voice. Shakti lovingly stroked her little sister's hair and whispered, "I missed you too. You dont know how lonely I felt out there."

She looked down at her sister and smiled, "But I'm back now and absolutely free so I'll be home more often and we can spend more time together."

Mukti sat up and faced her sister. "Are you thinking of rejoining D3? Palki ma'am had left that option open for you."

Surprise crossed Shakti's face. She had totally forgotten that she could retake her role as Kria Ghai if she chose. But then she also remembered Kunwar and the decision she had made on the plane.

She felt a deep, buried pain resurfacing inside of her but she quickly pushed it back down.

"I do miss all the fun and masti during shooting and I miss the entire gang immensely but as of now I think I just wanna stay home and rest." she gave a small smile and turned her face away pretending to look through her messages on her phone.

Mukti had watched her expressions carefully and noticed the momentary pain and sadness. "Shakti running away never helps."

Shakti looked at her guiltily before recovering. "What are you talking about Muks? What would I be running from?"

"Really Shaks?! You hide your pain from everyone else but you're gonna hide it from me too? Is that my value in your life as your sister and best friend?" Mukti was really angry because she couldn't bear to see her sister handle all this hurt by herself. "You need to talk about it Shakti! Pour your heart out, it'll make you feel better. I know it doesnt fix everything but you'll feel lighter."

Shakti had turned her face away as a few tears escaped her eyes. Mukti came close and put her hand on her shoulder. "Shakti I already know the basics but tell me the details. What happened that night between you and Amar?"

A sob escaped her mouth. Finally his name was out in the open. She always thought about him but never spoke to anyone else about it. But Mukti had opened her wounds even more and now there was no turning back. Maybe her little sister was right. Maybe it was finally time to open up. But she wasnt sure she had the strength and courage to relive that night once again...