Posted:
Janet,
Awesome fanfic!! I love the simplicity and ease with which you right! Your writing style is very direct, but eloquent at the same time...which makes for a wonderful combination while reading!
Three things I'm sooo glad you've included:
- the dupatta scenes! One of my favorite lines: "Woh dupatta mere liye choda hai darvaaze pe?" Such a natural and cute moment! <3
- Anjali as the guardian angel! My favorite: "While the fact that they were so into each other did not come as a surprise to her, what her Chote had the gall to do right under her nose really amused her...She made a mental note to help her younger brother - without his knowledge, of course, or he'll have to go through the trouble of denying the whole thing."
- And finally, the evolution of Arnav Sir to Arnav and back to Arnav Sir. I can't wait to see how you develop this further and when the "Sir" finally drops off. I think you should make Khushi say it naturally. Please don't have Arnav force her to call him by just his name!!
I also LOVE what you've done with Arnav's character!!!!! I'm liking the change in him, but I'm glad you've kept the angry, possessive young man side of him alive at the same time.
I hope you give Khushi's character a beautiful evolution like that too...I wonder how she'll come to terms with what happened in the garden...maybe a call to Payal from the house phone or Akash's phone lol!
Sorry about rambling on for so long...but in short, great story so far!!!!
Waiting for the next update,
Smarty
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