'Intikhaab' A MaYur FF -Completed (Epilogue pg103)

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-sam-

@-sam-

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#61

Hey neela,
I am really happy that you started a new ff...
I loved the concept and the begigning..
Just hoping that this will be a Happy ff
This is really so sweet and cute..
Specially MayUr as kids...
Please continue soon
and do PM me.. 😊

-Samidha

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Mahak

@FragranceOfLove

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#62

when r u updating next? me waiting loadsssss *pouts*

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ALIMA AFRIN KHEYA

@kheya-mayur

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#63

hey i read both d read its awsom...........

plz erpor jokhon update korba amke pm koro.

obossoi korba.............vulona kintu

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Nirvrithi

@Nirvrithi

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

#64

Dekho.... Party time for you 🥳 Tumhari jaani dushman aagayi...

Sorry Sorry Sorry - Was in vacation for 10 days, then busy for one week on covering up for the missed workload... Both personal and professional...So missed to comment here. Sorry

A big hug to you 🤗 for admitting that I am your toughest reader.. 😆

Thats enough -Now coming to this story...

hmm...well....I LOVE IT!!! I loved the style you adapted this time.. Its so different. The way you describe the change in Nupur and Mayank in each phase of their childhood - The way their priorities changing..Amazing yaar!!!!

Surprised to see lovely comments?? Ab tho bas shuruvaat hain - aage aage dekhte hain ... I am keeping track of your own concept 😉

Review tho iss baar bhi tough hi hoga -So beware 😈

Nivi

Note: Include me in your list : Even I want to vote😊

Edited by Nirvrithi - 14 years ago

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-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#65

~~~~~Part 3: Till We Meet Again…~~~~~
(The Last 3 Years)

As years pass by, Mayank and Nupur are not meeting so frequently anymore mainly because of Sharma being so busy lately. He has set up his own consultancy and is very much occupied in establishing his own business. Most of the time he is out of town attending meetings with clients. For longer term visits, he takes both Shilpa and Mayank with him. It begins...

When Nupur is 7:

M: Nupur…dekho mere naye khilone. papa ne leke diya Delhi se (shows his computer game)
N: mujhe dikhao…
M: nahi…tumhe dikhaunga to tum torr nahi dauge kya?
N: arre…maine kab tumhare khilone torre? dau mujhe…mujhe bhi khelna hai.
M: hergiz nahi…tum apne khilone se khelo! waise bhi yeh boys ke khilone hai…girls ki nahi
N: boys ke khilone aur girls ki khilone alag hote hai kya?
M: haan…girls apne dolls se khelte hai aur boys apne cars and cycle se
N: per tumhare haathon me to yeh na ball hai na car. isska matlab main bhi khel sakti hoon

Shilpa is smiling at their conversation.

S: bhabi…Nupur gudiya to bohat sayani hogayi hai. dekho kaise mere bewkuf bete ko chakkar me daal diya (laughs)
A: hamara Mayank bhi to kaafi intelligent hai. suna hai school me hamesha top marks laata hai
S: isi baat ka to darr hai mujhe bhabi…kahi apni papa ki tarha kitaabi keeda na bann jaaye
A: kyun bhaabi, keetabi keedon se kya shikayet hai aapko? itne bure bhi to nahi na
S: jisse jhelna padta hai usse hi pata hai…aap ko kya samjhaye (they both giggle)

Nupur at 8:

Sharma has made a huge decision to move out of their home town and live in Delhi where he has set up his main office. It has become quite difficult for him to commute and hence the decision. Bhushan is really upset about it..

S: bhabi…aap iss bewkuf ko samjhao. muh latka ke aise khara hai jaise main iss duniya ko hi chhod ke jaa raha hoon
B: bakwas bandh kar! warna ek lagake dunga (and he embraces him…as tears fall from his eyes)
S: are buddhu main kya karoon tera! itna jazbaati kyun hai tu mere bhai? main tujhe chhodke nahi jaa raha re…aata jaata rahunga na! (wipes his tears)
B: sab log aise hi kehte hai re…magar koi nahi aata wapas. bade bade sheher ki chamak damak me log sab kuch bhool jaate hai…apni mitti…apni gaaon, apne log, apne dost…sab kuch. tu bhi bhool jayega humain
S: ab impractical baatein bandh kar. main tujhe bhool jaunga?? tujhe??? tujhe bhool gaya to zinda kaise rahunga bataa…
B: phir se bakwas ki tunay!! ek to jaa raha hai nazron se door aur jaate jaate yeh manhoos baatein kyun kar raha hai? jaa…wahan pe jaake sahi tarha se settle kar. Mayank ko acche school me admit kara per vaada kar k humse milne aayega…
S: yeh bhi kehne ki baat hai Bhushan? aur main wahan pe settle karte hi tujhe aur bhabi ko bhi ley jaunga…fiker mat kar bas sheher dikhane aur kuch nahi
B: tu to mujhe in sab se door hi rakh…woh kehte hai na..Delhi bohat door hai…usse mujhse door hi rakh
S: dekh tu phir se shuru mat ho jaana…main teri..

Shilpa intervenes…

Sh: aap log aaj to mat jhagdo…khushi khushi jaate hai…taake phir se mil sake

On the other side…

N: Mayu tum log jaa rahe ho?
M: haan…papa ne hamare liye itnaaaaaaaaa bada ghar liya hai Delhi me
N: itne bade ghar me kaun kaun rahega?
M: mummy, papa aur main! ermm…aur tum chaho to tum bhi reh sakti ho uss ghar me. (and he quickly turns to his mum and asks the universal question…again)
M: mummy hum Nupur ko apne saath Delhi le jaaye?
Sh: haan beta…sirf Nupur nahi, Uncle aur Aunty ko bhi hum le jaayenge. thik hai?
M: kab le jayenge?
Sh: ermm jab hum agli baar chuttiyon me yahan pe aayenge tab
M: chuttiyan kab shuru honge mummy?
Sh: kuch hi mahino me Mayu …
M: to hum yahan per kuch mahino k baad aayenge Nupur ko le jaane?
Sh: uff Mayu kitna sawal karta hai baccha! bas ab Nupur ke saath khelne jaao aap
M: (rushes to Nupur) Nupur hum log tumhe lene aayenge agle chutti pe
N: agle chutti kab hai Mayu?
M: kuch mahino baad?
N: mahino matlab?
M: matlab…ermmmm 30 days (he recalls a month equals to 30 days)
N: itneeee dino ke baad aaoge?
M: haan…Delhi bohhhat door hai. to humain aane me time lagega
N: itne door kyun jaa rahe ho Mayu? (she pulls a sad face and walks off to her mum)

More than a year pass by…Sharmas initially visit their hometown frequently but as time pass by and Sharma gets busier and busier with his life, the visits become less frequent. The vacations are no longer spent in the home town but rather visiting other cities and sometimes other countries. Then one day…they come to visit the Bhushan family with a news…

Nupur is slightly over 9 Years old:

The atmosphere is heavy…

B: I knew it…tu aisa hi karega. I just knew it
S: meri baat to sunn..
B: chup kar tu…sheher chodke dil nahi bhara kya jo ab mulk bhi chhodne ka iraada kar liya?
S: yaar mujhe khud yaqeen nahi horaha..achanak itni acchi opportunity haath me aayi hai k main manaa nahi kar paaya.
B: haan..tu aur teri opportunities!! kya hoga inn sab se? koi apna jab paas na ho to? wahan pardes me kaun hoga tera?
S: tu aisa kyun soch raha hai? bas ek accha business opportunity hai. Let me try it out yaar! tu kya nahi chahta teri dost ki tarakki ho? usse kaamyaabi haasil ho…bol? kya chahta hai tu…k main saari umer iss choti si sheher me para rahoon? bol..
B: (is quiet…)
S: main aajaunga lautke yaar…bas wahan ka kaam khatam kar doon phir wapas India hi to aana hai
B: yehi baat tunay Delhi jaane ki waqt bhi kaha tha…laut aana to door ki baat hai tu to aur door jaane ka faisla karke lauta hai. jaa tu..main kaun hota hoon tujhe roknay wala. tu wohi kar jo tujhe sahi lagta hai…behter lagta hai
S: ab yeh baat tu hasske bhi to keh sakta hai na? teri roni surat dekhke pardes jaaoon kya? agar phir mulaqat na hui to?
B: bandh kar teri yeh emotional blackmailing!!! (he smiles..) jaa…khushi khushi jaa aur khushi khushi phir wapas aana. wahan jaake apnon ko bhool mat jaana…apne mulk aur apne logon ko hamesha yaad rakhna
S: main wapas lautunga ekdin Bhushan…mulk aur logon ka to pata nahi..yahan mera to tere siwa aur koi nahi aur main tere liye hi wapas lautunga. apne dost per bharosa rakhna.

Completely unaware of the impact of this decision, Mayank and Nupur are parting in their own way

N: tum log jaa rahe ho? aur bhi door?
M: hmm…papa kehte hai acchi jagah hai…meri parhayi bohat acche school me hogi
N: aur hum?
M:tum?
N: iss baar humain saath nahi le jaana?
M: nahi…mummy ne kaha hai plane se jaana hai to ticket chahiye. tumhari ticket mili nahi. per tum fiker mat karo…jab tak tumhari ticket nahi aati main tumhe khat likkhunga, tum jawab dauge na?
N: kaushish karenge. homework agar zyada nahi hua to zaroor jawab denge

..and they part in a very subtle way with a childish and and innocent hope that as usual, they will meet again….soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

woh kaise jazbaat hai jo doston ko ajnabee kar jaate hai
woh kaise dost hai jo dekh ke bhi andekha kar jaate hai
kehne ko to anjaan bhi hifazat-e-jaan ki dua kar jaate hai
phir woh kaise dost hai jo jaaN bhi nikaal le jaate hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Neela-

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Nirvrithi

@Nirvrithi

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

#66

I knew it!!! Tum mere comment ki intezaar kar rahi thi na?😉

Koi baat nahi - last 2 update ke liye ithne late aayi ,iski kami ab poori ki na?😊 Dekho first aayi hoon😃

I loved the friendship of Sharma and Bhushan.. But what I liked most is.. the innocent answer Nupur gave to Mayank the last time..😊

kaushish karenge. homework agar zyada nahi hua to zaroor jawab denge

It really shows how innocent those kids are.. They really dont know how far they are going.

No need to mention - Mayank's universal question never fails to lighten up my mood😆 Everytime I am like Awwwwwwwwwww So cute..

Ab tak tho normal and cute jaa rahi hain teri kahani - lekin dar lag hi rahta hain ki Bhagwan na kare- ye toofan ke pehle ki khamoshi tho nahi?😕 Akhir jo kuch bhi tumne concept mein kaha hain - abhi se examwaala tension shuru ho raha hain 😆 ki kitna tough question poochnewali ho tum hum sab se?

Edited by Nirvrithi - 14 years ago

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.SilentPrincess

@.SilentPrincess

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#67

Reseved....

lol... Bacche bhi na choti, choti cheezon par larhna shuru kar dete hai... 😆 Bachpan yaad agaya...

This Nupur sho sweet... Aur zaheen bhi, kaise Mayank ko confuse kar diya... & as usual Neela Jee ko koi aur kaam nahi hai ke do logon ko alag kar do... lekin koi baat nahi alag ho kar ek din zarur mil jaye gaye...aur alag hone say rishta aur mazboot ban jaye gha...😳

" ..and they part in a very subtle way with a childish and and innocent hope that as usual, they will meet again'.soon."

Neela baccho par tarah kha lo aur jald milwa dena...Lekin its nicely described, how children at such age don't know whats exactly happening. Why, when such questions arise but at such tender age there is no answer to this... They part only to meet again... hopefully...

-Laiba

Edited by princez_94 - 14 years ago

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Faria Ferdousi

@Faria.

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#68

Nivi di i gonna to kill u
pher muje raste main he tok diya
u r very bad di
thanx god u r not my frnd u r my di- nehi tou main tumko ............ uuuuuuuuuu nehi bataungi.lol

Nila

EID MUBARAK

how was ur EID
ok will Edit it soon.

Edit........................................

Nila - ei EID ki ektu konjushi na korle cholto na
ei etuko ekta update--------- porar agei shesh
Amar tou mone hoyesilo tomake dhore maar dewa dorkar
kintu Eid time tai maaf kore dilam
next time boroooooooooooooooooooooo update chai.

ok now coming to ur update.
haye amar mayur j ki innocent , r ki bolbo

they r so sweet n cute............

i loved M/mom and N.mom convo
hehehehe N.MOM was supporting mayank and M.MOM was supporting Nupur
wah wah i loved it dear

and i really adhore bhushan and sharma frship
ALLAH e jane tomar mathai ki vut chape- tumi eder frship k shotruar porjaye niye jawar plan korso kina ta ekmarto ALLAH r tumi bhalo bolte parbe

jai hoy hok- but i want to c my mayur together.
r eibar jodi teriberi koro tahole tomar khobo ase.
hehehehehe banglai likhar ei ek advantage tomake ami iccha moto humki-dhamki dissi, boka-jhoka korsi kintu keu bujhte parse na.lol

jai hok amar mayur convo onek valo legese-r a valo j lagbe eta to jana kotha

accha ami abar kom kotha bolte posondo kori.lol
so ekhon r kisu bolbo na
next update er jonno wait korsi.
taratari update koro

r ha tomar EID kemon katlo
Bashar shobai valo ase to?
r BD te kobe ashbe- Desh k bhule gele cholbe?

Edited by fariaa70 - 14 years ago

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Nirvrithi

@Nirvrithi

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

#69

Originally posted by: fariaa70
Nivi di i gonna to kill u
pher muje raste main he tok diya
u r very bad di
thanx god u r not my frnd u r my di- nehi tou main tumko ............ uuuuuuuuuu nehi bataungi.lol

karna padtha hain Fari Maharani😡!!! Recently I have noticed that some people tend to forget their friends and SO CALLED DIIIs than their enemies.

issliye meine socha kyu na apna tareeka badal ke dekh loon?? Shayad, aise hi sahi - tujhe yaad tho rahega ki Nivi naam ki koi ZINDA HAIN😆

Edited by Nirvrithi - 14 years ago

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Faria Ferdousi

@Faria.

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#70

Originally posted by: Nirvrithi

karna padtha hain Fari Maharani😡!!! Recently I have noticed that some people tend to forget their friends and SO CALLED DIIIs than their enemies.

issliye meine socha kyu na apna tareeka badal ke dekh loon?? Shayad, aise hi sahi - tujhe yaad tho rahega ki Nivi naam ki koi ZINDA HAIN😆

Di check ur scrap.

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'Intikhaab' A MaYur FF -Completed (Epilogue pg103) - Page 7

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