FF*Despair*(maaneet)pt20at pg 133(17 nov) - Page 4

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niharika30 thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#31
nice concept plz continue niharika
sweet scorpio thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#32
gr8 concept!...
really looking forward to read this one!...
love the title!=)
continue soon!
thnx 4 the pm!
d@niy@ thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#33
nice intro.... plz add me in u'r pm list.....😃
kirannaryani thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#34
LOVELY...W8TIN FOR U TO CONTINUE
MistiofMistz thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#35
It's alright for started... let's see the further story to judge it. Please continue soon... I really wanna know how those two end up together...
shalini_s thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#36
brij wants to marry Geet.. interesting..
waiting for this FF.. do PM me..
maansee thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#37
LIKE THE PLOT CONTINUE PLZZZZZZZZ
prerna1 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#38
that was nice concept
plz continue soon
naddiya26 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#39
Part 1Geet was read book sitting in garden.. some one knocked

Geet: who is it ?

Brij: it me your house owner

Geet: papa is not at home

Briji: ok you open I will wait

Geet: why don't you come after some time

Brij : you open gate

Geet: wait.. walk in bee ji ( geet nanny since child hood)

Beeji : jee beta

Geet: house owner is at gate please see

Beeji : ok beta . you go in..

Beeji : open gate' come in

Brij: looked around.." you were talking from other side of gate"

Beeji: why you are asking that?

Brij: who'

Mr Haunda : enter..coughing

Brij: namasta ji

Mr H: namasta

Brij: look like you are sick

Mr H: yes

Brij: I came here to get my money which I gave to your wife

Mr H: come in

Brij: I don't have time

Mr H: I think I have paid you back all the money

Brij: no you didn't.. smiled cunningly

Mr H: I have checked the papers my wife took fifty thousand from you ?

Brij: yes she took but she was unable to return that in time

Mr H: I have return you more I think

Brij: took out his diary "check this you guys have not paid me rent for last 6 months"

Mr H: started coughing

Beeji : I think you come some other day he is not well

Brij: oh why jee ? if he die who will pay my bills I will sit here till he give me my money

Beeji: chup karo' Geet beta pani lao

Geet: walk with a glass of water her payal made a melodious sound in tense atmosphere ..

"papa take it let me call dr"

Mr H: nahi beta I am fine'he didn't liked the way brij stared at Geet

Brij: I will come in evening you rest uncle jee' walk out

Beeji: what happen to him?

Mr H: pata nai ..he cough badly kept his hand on his heart.

Geet: papa kya huwa

Mr H: kuch nai beta

Geet: did you get your reports ?

Mr H: nai beta' I want to rest walk in his room ask beeji to come

Geet: ok helped him to get up

Beeji jee ..

Mr H : bee ji where is Geet?

Beeji : in her room

Mr H: bee ji meri reports theek nai ha '

Beeji: quiet

Mr H: bee ji please find a nice 'pasued

Beeji: you rest I got what you want to say' walked out' looked at Geet she was sitting in bedroom reading her books

Geet: beeji why you are looking me like that?

Beeji : nothing beta come have lunch.

Geet: I am not feeling hungry.

Beeji: walk out pata nahi kya hogaya ha iss larki ko..

In evening.

Door bell rang

Beeji : dekho to beta kon ha?

Geet: was doing gardening.. jee she open'' brij standing with his mom

Brij Mom: aaraya Brij yeh tou chand ka tokra ha' kissed Geet face( like icecream)

Brij :smiled

Geet: jee try to stop her' please come in I will call papa

Brij Mom: yes call him quickly

Geet: looked at beeji' cleaning her face with her duppata.

Mr H: walked out of his room.. jee

Brij Mom: bhai jee how are you?

Mr H: I am fine..surprised to see her getting so chummy .

Beeji: have a seat please

Brij Mom: bhai jee I don 't like to pull thing'..

Mr H: I didn't get you

Brij mom:I am her to ask you for your daughter hand for my son brij

Mr H: what?

Brij mom: don't get excited bhai jee' I know my son has a lot of qualities . kissed brij forehead who was hiding his face from handkerchief.

Mr H: started coughing.. it is impossible

Brij mom: why bhai jee?

Mr H: my daughter is educated , he had never ..paused

Brijmom: so what who see that? Now days money count.

Mr H: I will never let that happen in my life.

Brij: if you will not marry your daughter to me leave this home in next 48 hours .. lets go maaji

Brijmom: oh beta let me talk to him

Brij: bas .. he is about to die,I don't know why he is not securing his daughter future.

Beeji: get out from here'.

Brij: I am going..i will come after 48 hours leave house or marry your daughter with me'

Slam the door..

Beeji: what happen to you ? looked at Mr H pale face'.Geet call daughter'

Geet: was inside unaware of what happen out side '. called DR

*************************************************************************************

Dr: checked Mr H.

Geet: what happen?

Dr: a heart attack .

Geet: should we take him to hospital

Dr: no I have given him injection.

Geet: ok.. thanks

Dr: call me beta whenever you want.

Geet: jee'

She walked in room beeji was sitting next to him'praying

Geet: beeji come here

Beeji: kya baat ha

Geet: kya huwa tha

Beeji: kuch nai beta

Geet: beeji please sach bola

Beeji: mera chand kuch nai'walked in MR H room..

Geet: sit next to his feet "papa don't leave me alone please"

geet was in state of shocked since her mom & 2 younger sister had died ..she didnot cried ,she just hide her pain inside her always carry a fake smile at her face '

next morning

Mr H : beeji please go & telegram this on this address..

BeeJi: what is this ? she saw him taking out a paper under his pillow.

Mr H: looked at Geet sleeping in beeji lap "help from my friend khurana"'.removed geet curls from her face

Beeji: I will do it let me first give you something to eat.

Mr H: first this please ..

Beeji: ok she wake geet up

Geet: kya huwa''

Beeji; see papa is fine you sit here I will come in ten mins.

Geet: hug him "papa you scared me"

Mr H: sorry beta

Beeji walked out'.

In Delhi at 11'

Dadima was going through her mails '.

Servant : a telegram for you

Maan: who was going through some files "for me"

Servant: dadima

Dadima: let me see'

Namasta maaji I hope you are fine, maaji I am sick I have to go for by pass , I can't take Geet alone with me to a unknown city ,If you don't mind can I send her to you' please maaji you are my last hope.

Haunda

Dadima read it loud'

Maan: who is he?

Dadima: he is your father school friend, last year his wife & 2 daughter died In road accident..

Maan: so sad

Dadima;Maan if you don't mind can I ask him to send his daughter.

Maan: how old she would be

Dadima: his elder two daughter died , she might be 12 or 13 years old.

Maan: oh poor child yes for sure ask him to send.

Dadima: you send telegram

Maan: give me address' I will right away send'.

Dadima: thank you beta..

Maan: dadima' bachai ha I will go & bring her myself how she will travel alone.bahot choti ha..just a child

To be cont' hope you all will like it '.it is very different from my other two ff's 'it is bit fast moving story'. Do comment as I am scared , what will be your response'..

Edited by naddiya26 - 14 years ago
MistiofMistz thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#40
Sounds good... I like the first part.. please continue soon...

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