Short Story-Take my Breath Away 2 -Upd 12/10 pg87! - Page 16

Originally posted by: MaaneetDD

Reserved.. read it and loved it!! but it was small 😆😆..want bigger update 😭🤔

Vroom, me going home now .. Its 12 PM , so imagine my haalat.. May just hit the bed once I read home..

this was small?? woman..1400 words...ah...slave drivers....now you want more and more...😲

Originally posted by: -sann-

👏

srry..couldn't comment earlier....was just too much feed up with my life.....

it was fav bt tooo short....😆

arjun.....kya kahu...he is aahhh...😆😆 aur ye nups ko kya hua....isse toh bura lag raha hai....haila....control lady....dont 4get who u r....noone can affect u....(sivaye arjun k😳😆)....meri pass ana saab thik kar dungi...kya hua agar woh chor k chala gaya toh....jao kisi aur saath nacho😆😆😆

vrush, tumhe vut,vabisya,bartaman dekhni aati hai kya...??lagta to hai u know my lifestory bettter thn me...😕

ye lo...nags tu v JD ki gang mein samil ho gayi....😲 ab mera kya hoga..*aapka kya hoga janabe ali*.....

faz & adi😉😉...waah...adi to bold ho raha hai...hmm😉😛

maabs...control guyss....humbhi moujud hai vai...vaise kisi ne dekha v nehi hoga...saab apne kaam mein busy hai😉😛...

haila..vaisaab ne dekh liya...how sweet...apni behan ki kitni fiqr hai aur pehchanta v hai....i wish meri v aisa koi vaai hota...😭....

vrus...suspence pe suspence..uski upar aur ek suspence....kya hai yaar...

i know now why you guys feel its short...
tujhe arjun ke do para mile..isiliye..na..

lekin ab ye story serial jaisi ho gayee hai..isnt it...cut..from one...shot to another...and then back..again..bechaare..sab...pause mode khade rehte hain..till i come back to them...

any ideas on how i can integrate them better? may be one chapter one couple? hmm so shaadi to 4 mahine baad aayegi..now..that will beat..even..Ekta's serials in terms of longevity...

Nups mein antaryaami hooon...woh to meine kai baar prove kar diya..hai tum sab ke saath...*making angelic face* i need a smiley with halo on top of the head...damn..have to write everything...

Nahinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn mujhe yeh 4 mahine baad wali shaadi nahin chahiye... **Abs with an embaressed look***-"Was that really obvious?" 😕

Originally posted by: Hot_Indo_Chilly

Hmm, so all love birds are busy good goood...kisi ne nahin dekha Maabs except Abs' bro...woh apna chhote bhai hone ki responsibility of teasing Abs to death bakhubi nibhaayga! 😆 Can't blame him!

Hmm, Nups wanted to continue...par Arjun kya kare..He doesn't want to embaress himself further! 😉

FaAdi- Hmm, so Faz listened to my convo w/ Adi...Happy these two are finally able to know each other's mind..😳

Vicky & Nargis : The bindaas matchmakers for Arpur!😆

Maabs- How does he have so much control I am left wondering..But I 👏 that. I feel bad sometimes but we will do everything according to traditions so that neither of us feels guilty. It's not easy on me either!

Abs i am so glad you admitted to it not being easy for you...

i have hope...i shall reform..you..phir...sacchi mein shaadi karwayenge teri..bulayegi na?

Originally posted by: rushtrip

Abs i am so glad you admitted to it not being easy for you...

i have hope...i shall reform..you..phir...sacchi mein shaadi karwayenge teri..bulayegi na?

Haan ji haan😛

I feel bad seeing Maan like that.

nahiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn.......*nupur in dramatic style*......

Originally posted by: kadds02

Good job!! The story is getting interesting!!
-Kads

Thank you kads

i do believe i have evolved over time on this story... from a hurried narration i seem to be taking my time...
do you let me know...how you all feel...?

Originally posted by: rushtrip

Thank you kads

i do believe i have evolved over time on this story... from a hurried narration i seem to be taking my time...
do you let me know...how you all feel...?

Yup I def noticed that! Now it going smoother without any rushing....(but I still loved my story! 😛)

Originally posted by: -sann-

nahiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn.......*nupur in dramatic style*......

4 mahiney inhe maat tarpao.............plz...plzz.plzz...

inni bari annyay......nehi kar sakti tummm.....

🤗 Nupur, chalo atleast you samajh sakti ho...how hard it is to restraint when you have a hot hunk like Maan whose all crazy pasionate about you! In your case it's Arjun! 😆

I dunno how Maabs are managing but damn it's tough!!!