Part- 12
next day
Raj entered the ward with Nandini and Sur, both of whom were now happier. Their father had been moved out of ICU into a private room and was recovering rapidly. He waved to them feebly as they settled around him, talking excitedly.
"To kaise hai mere bachche?" he asked looking at all 3 of them. Sur sat down closest to and held his hand, telling him about some incidents in London. Raj excused himself to talk to the doctor and Sur's father surveyed her gravely.
"Beta mujhe tujhse baat karni hai."
"Ji boliye..."
"Beta ab to yaha vapis aja..."
Sur released his hand and looked away silently.
"Beta ab to itna waqt ho chuka hai...shadi k baare me-"
"Papa please...hum pehle is baare me baat kar chuke hai na"
"haan beta aur har baar mai yahi sochta hu k shayad is baar tu maa jaye...mera kya bharosa, kabtak rahu-"
"Aap aisi bakwas mat kariye papa"
"Ye bakwas nahi hai...is baar sab thik ho gaya iska matlab ye to nahi ke mai hamesha rehne wala hu...is tarah kabtak zindagi se bhagogi?tum bhi janti ho ke zindagi akele nahi bitai jati."
"Mai akeli nahi hu..aap hai, Nandu hai.Mujhe aur kisi ki zarurat nahi hai"
"Ye teri galatfehmi hai.Ye tu bhi janti hai aur hum bhi jante hai ke tu khush nahi hai"
"Mai thik hu. kya nahi hai mere paas papa, jo aap aise bol rahe hai"
"Tu hamesha aise nahi reh sakti meri bachchi...ab bas bahut ho gaya hai. Na ab tu us paraye desh vapis jayegi, aur na aise akele rahegi. Mene tujhe bahut waqt diya hai Sur- 5 saal kafi hai. ab to Nandu ki bhi shadi ho gai hai, ab kis baat ka intezaar kar rahi hai."
"Papa aap kyu nahi samajhte...itna asan nahi hai ye..."
"Bachcha mujhe pata hai tere sath jo hua vo bahut bura tha...par usme tera koi kasoor to nahi tha.fir tu kyu apne aap ko saza de rahi hai?"
"apko kaise pata ke kasoor mera nahi tha?"
"Kyuki meri bachchi kabhi aisa kuch nahi karegi jiski usey itni badi saza mile."
Sur became silent for a few minutes and then spoke again
"thik hai agar mai ha kar bhi du, to apko lagta hai k mere past ke baare me jaanne k baad mere sath rehne chahega?Papa meri zindagi ki taklif mai kisi aur ko kyu du?"
"Kyuki taklif baatne se kum hoti hi, badhti nahi hai...aur jaha tak tujhe accept karne ki baat hai, to mujhe pura yakeen hai tu ek baar koshish kar, tujhe bhi koi aisa insaan zarur milega, jo tujhe sachche dil se pyar karega"
"Ye sab baate sirf kahaniyo me hoti hai papa asli zindagi me nahi"
"Hoti hai Sur..."Nandini spoke for the first time. Sur and her dad looked around at her. She cleared her throat and said,
"Sur mai aise ek insaan ko janti hu jo tujhse khud se bhi zyada pyaar karta hai...jise tere bite huye kal se koi farq nahi padta"
Raj's face flashed in front of Sur's eyes again. All through this conversation she kept thinking about him. Her heart told her that he would love her selflessly. But she was scared to dream now.
"Kiski baat kar rahe ho beta?" her father asked eagerly. Nandini shook her head and kept staring at Sur meaningfully until she looked away.
"Abhi nahi papa...agar mera andaza sahi hai to apki beti ki shadi bahut jaldi hone wali hai."
"Ye kya bakwas kar rahi ho tum Nandu"
"Tu achchi tarah se janti hai mai kya keh rahi hu."
Sur looked horrified now...Had he told Nandini what had happened in London? About what he felt about her? She never dreamed he would tell anyone. She remained quiet and stared at her hands. Nandini looked at her father who looked like he would burst with curiousity and said, "Papa ap chinta mat kariye mai kuch karti hu...fir apko bataungi...ok?"
He sighed and nodded. At that moment Raj came in accompanied by a nurse for their father. She told them that it was time for his medicine and they left, saying goodbyes. When they walked out, Raj noticed that Sur was stripped of her good mood. Nandini on the other hand looked perfectly cheerful. He nudged her and asked her
"Kya hua, papa aur Bhabhi ne mil ke daant dia kya?"
Nandini laughed and said, "aisa hi kuch. Papa chahte hai ke Sur yahi rahe, magar ye madam to jaise us jagah se chipak hi gai hai."
Sur sped up to walk ahead of them and Raj looked surprised and looked at Nandini who gestured him to catch up.
"To usme kya problem hai?" Raj asked her innocently.
"Problem ye hai ke iska dimag kharab ho gaya hai." Nandini said smiling.
Raj laughed and Sur balled her fists looking at both of them. Nandini returned her gaze insolently while Raj looked confused. He could not understand why she was reacting to a simple matter like that. She got into the back seat of the car and Raj started driving.
Nandini spoke again, "Tum kya kehte ho Raj Sur ko kya karna chahiye?"
Raj said, "I think you should come back Sur...pata nahi tumhe waha akele rehne me kya maza ata hai."
Sur lost her patience and said, "shut up both of you. mai janti hu mujhe kya karna hai aur kya nahi."
Raj was taken aback while Nandini was enraged.
"Oh really? I dont think so my dear sis...agar apni bhalai ka andaza hota to aj ye haal nahi hote."
Sur did not reply and Nandini became silent as well. Raj knew he was missing something so he did not interven again. But after sometime he couldn't stand it and said gently to Sur, "Im sorry...I know mujhe tumhare personal life me interfere karne ka haq nahi hai..."
Sur felt a strange pain in her heart- how could Raj distance her from himself? The thought was unbearable.
"Raj mai tumse naraz nahi hu...aur please kabhi aisa mat kehne.Meri zindagi me bahut kum log hai jinhe mene apne karib ane ka haq dia hai.Agar wo bhi mujhse door ho jayenge to mera kya hoga?"
Raj had not been expecting this felt his heart flutter. He turned around to look at her and smiled.
"Mai tumhe kabhi nahi chodunga.ok?"
Sur smiled as well. Nandini cleared her throat and Sur closed her eyes sighing. Im gone she thought.
They reached home and sur dragged Nandini off to her room to talk, leaving Raj puzzled. Consoling himslef that this might be about some private girl talk, he went to his own room, to write in his diary.
Sur closed the room and turned to Nandini
"What the hell was that?"
"Ye to mujhe tumse poochne chahiye na?"Nandini sat down on the bed.
"kiske baare me baat kar rahi thi tum?"
"Tum janti ho"
"Mai kuch nahi janti" Sur lowered her gaze.
"Acha?Zara yaha dekh ke bolna!"
Sur did not reply. Nandini sighed and pulled her down on the bed beside her.
"london me tere aur Raj ke bich kya hua tha?"
Sur stared at her shocked into silence. She found her voice back and said, "Kya hua tha? kuch nahi- kuch nahi hua"
Nandini rolled her eyes. "Jhooth mat bol"
"Raj ne kuch kaha tumse?"
"Vo kabhi kuch nahi bolege ye hum dono ko pata hai. i can see it dammit. Everyone can- uski haalat kya ban gai hai- na khaata-peeta hai, na kisi se baat karta hai, saare saare raat office me rehta hai, jabse vo vapis aya hai, uske chere pe ek hasi nahi dekhi hai kisi ne. aur usey ye baat kisne batayi ke teri shadi ho gai hai?"
Sur listened to all this and felt guilt eating into her. She had not expected this at all. She knew she had hurt Raj alot but never thought that he would take this so seriously. one part of her heart rejoiced that he loved her that much while her mind cursed her. She moved uncomfortably and Nandini crossed her arms.
"Tumhe ye sab kaise pata?" Sur blurted out.
"Mene uski diary padhi thi. He really loves you Sur...aur mai tabhi samajh gai thi k tumhe pata hai jab usne ye likha tha ke tumne usey apni shadi ke baare me bataya. Kyu kiya aisa? Aur tumhe kaise pata chala ke uske dil me kya hai?"
Sur shook her head and told Nandini everything that happened in london. when she had finished Nandini looked scandalised. she got up and said, "Thats it. Mai abhi jake Raj se baat karti hu."
Sur clutched her arm and made her sit next to her again.
"Tumhara dimag kaharb ho gaya hai kya?" She looked close to tears now.
"Dimag mera nahi tumhara kharab ho gaya hai. kya baat karogi ussey?"
"Sur vo tumse bahut pyaar karta hai"
Sur looked away and said, "How can u say?"
Nandini pulled her arm free and said, "You know that he loves you. usey agar mai abhi jake kahungi ke tumse shadi karle, Im sure vo maan jayega. Sur please ab kya problem hai? Raj achcha ladka hai, he loves you so much, aur kya chahiye tumhe?"
"Nandu mujhe kuch nahi chahiye. Par kya tumhe lagta hai Raj sabkuch janne k bad mujhse shadi karna chahega?"
"Usey sab pata hai. he knows u r married..and divorced. aur usey koi problem nahi hai! Im telling you maine uski diary padhi hai, vo sach me tumse pyar karta hai."
"usey sirf ye pata hai ke meri shadi hui thi aur ab sab khatam ho chuka hai. lekin iske alawa kuch aur bhi to hua tha na..." she trailed off unable to speak any further. She was shaking really hard. Nandini was alarmed. It was after years she had heard her speaking about that incident that ruined her forever. Sur had no tears in her eyes but she was clutching the bedcovers very tightly. Nandini hugged her and said, 'Shhh...relax."
Sur slowly lifted her arm and placed it on Nandini's back, bowing her head. Nandini broke the hug and said, "Please Sur...ek baar zindagi ko dusra mauka de ke to dekh.Im sure Raj tujhe accept karega."
"Nahi karega...aur agar kar bhi liya to kya uski family karegi? Nandu zara ek pal ke liye bhul jao k mai tumhari kya lgti hu. Agar Raj tumhara bhai hota, to kya tum usey mujh jaisi ladki k sath dekhna chahti? Mai apni khushi k liye uski zindagi kyu barbad karu? mere paas ab kisi ko dene k liye kuch nahi bacha hai Nandu. Bas ab mujhse meri bachi kuchi zindagi mat mango...kyuki agar is baar kuch hua, to mai bardash nahi kar paungi."
Nandini was speechless now. She said in a lpw voice, "Agar mai tujhe nahi bhi janti hoti, to bhi Raj ko mana nahi karti...kyuki mai janti hu k tu usey khush rakh sakti hai."
"Ye teri galatfehmi hai. Jab mai khud khush nahi hu to usey kya khush rakhungi?"
Sur stood up and tied her hair into a loose ponytail. Her stern expression was back in place now.
"Nandu ab mujhe is baare me koi baat nahi karni aur na mera faisla badlega. Forget about it ok? Vese bhi Papa k ghar atey hi mai vapis chali jaungi. Aur jaha tak raha Raj ka sawal, to usey thoda waqt do. Im sure he will get over it."
She opened the door and walked away. Nandini recognized defeat but felt that a talk with Raj is definitely worth a shot. She wasn't going to give in that easily.
***********************************
Sur smiled at Raj as they continued to discuss some work. Raj suddenly closed his laptop, turned around to face Sur and asked
"Are you alright?"
Sur was taken aback and opened her mouth to say fine but it did not come out. She compromised by giving him a small smile and said, "I should be asking that. Ye kya haal bana rakha hai tumne apna?"
Raj lowered his gaze and said, "Aisa to kuch nahi hai. Mai bilkul thik hu."
"Really? Zara idhar dekh ke bolna. Nandu bhi keh rahi..."
"wow...ab bhabhi sabse meri burai bhi karne lagi...kamal hai"
"Tum itna kaam kyu karte ho?"
"Kaam to sabkarte hai"
"Aur thik se khate pite bhi nahi?"
"Thats not true. I never skip meals"
"Liar"
Raj started laughing and said, "Tumhe meri itni fikar kyu ho rahi hai?"
Sur became speechless again but then said fiercely, "Kyu, nahi ho sakti? Dekho Raj tum sudhar jao. Agar koi problem hai to mujhse kaho hum sath milke solve karenge..." she trailed off hoping Raj would say that something else was troubling him. He looked up smiled and said in a low voice, "Tum solve karogi meri problem?"
She said in a soothing voice, "Mere bas me hoga to zarur karungi..."
Raj laughed again but Sur could see that same pain in his eyes which she had seen in London. He got up and replaced his laptop in its bag and said to himself, meri problem sirf tum hi solve kar sakti ho Sur...
Sur:"Kuch kaha?"
Raj turned around and said, "Nothing. Mai thik hu, bas ajkal office me kaam thoda zyada hota hai...1 baar kaam khatam ho jaye, to bas fir kisi ko koi shikayat nahi hogi mujhse."
Sur:"Tumse kisi ko koi shikayat nahi hai Raj...sabko bas tumhari fikr hai"
Raj folded hi arms across his chest and leaned against the wardrobe smiling again. He felt like smiling whenever she was around him, regardless of what he was feeling.
"Im perfectly fine. Aur I think mujhse zyada tumhe apne baare me sochna chahiye. Tumhare papa sach me chahte hai ke tum vapis a jao. Unki baat kyu nahi maan leti?"
Sur:"Raj please not again."
Raj :"Mai tumse sirf wajah pooch raha hu. I don't think tumko akela rehne me maza ata hoga...fir bhi akeli rehti ho- sabse door. Iski koi to wajah hogi na."
Sur :"Haan hai...tumhe pata hai na...meri...shadi ke baare me."
Raj remained silent.
Sur:"Well...bas ye samajh lo ke is jagah se bahut sari yaade judi hai jinhe mai yaad nahi karna chahti." Sur said all this without thinkin. She felt like hsaring her pain for the first time as she gazed into those very deep eyes- they held so much love and concern for her that turning away seemed like a sin.
Raj:"Tumhe sach me lagta hai ke sirf kisi jagah se door jane se hum yaado ko bhool sakte hai?"
Sur:"Pata nahi...par...Raj mai yaha rahungi to sab sawal karte rahenge- aur mai sabke sawalo ka jawab dete dete thak chuki hu."
Raj:"Ek baat batao, tum apne Mom Dad se bahut pyaar karti ho na?"
Sur nodded slowly.
Raj:'To tumhe nahi lagta ke tumhe unhe akela chodne ki bajaye unke sath hona chahiye. Kyuki tumhare jane se sawal kam nahi honge, balki badh jayenge."
Sur couldn't think of anything to say. She dropped her gaze again, thinking about her parents, Nandini, and how much they had helped her in times of trouble, when nobody believed her. Raj sensed that she was doing some hard thinking work remained quiet, waiting. She looked up and said
"i think...tum sahi ho Raj...par fir ye sab mere piche pad jate hai"
Raj:"Kya piche pad jate hai"
Sur:"Yahi ke dobara shadi kar lo."
Raj:"To kar lo. Simple" his smile was back now. Sur realised what she had been bragging about kicked herself.
Sur:" nahi karungi"
Raj:"Kyu?"
Sur"Bas...meri marzi"
Raj "Achcha?"
Sur was observing him very carefully now and his features gave away nothing. She wondered if this was his self control or lack of feelings for her. His was surveying her carefully and then turned away.
"Think about it Sur...its not such a bad idea."
He was about to walk away when he heard her low voice say
"It is...Tum meri zindagi k baare me kuch nahi jante"
Raj gave her a look and sat down facing her.
"To aj tum mujhe bata hi do k tumhari life me aisa kya hua hai jisse tum apne aap se itni nafrat karti ho."
Sur considered this for a moment. Maybe after this, Raj would forget her...but it could be otherwise also...She wondered where to start from as the images from her past flashed in front of her eyes...a burly man hitting her face... falling on the floor on her face, bleeding...feeling when burning hot metal hit her shoulder...crying for mercy in front of a group of men advancing on her....lying in the hospital half dead, praying for death...
She closed her eyes and covered her face in her hands. Raj gently placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "If you don't want tell me its ok...par isse tumhe hi achcha lagega."
Sur removed her hands and said, "Tum meri itni fikar kyu karte ho Raj?"
Raj "Kyuki mai tumse-"
He stopped and took a deep breath. Sur bit her lip and Nandini's voice came from the doorway.
"Apni baat to puri karo Raj."
End
Hey everyone
Sorry for the very late post9i think i shud make this my signature now...lolz)
anyways, ab mai aap sab k posts k reply baad me karungi, warna pata nahi kitne din me ud hota!
I never thought k mere paas bhi itne comments honge k i will have 2 take out time 2 reply 2 them!
so thanks 2 all of u who bother 2 comment
And those who dont, plz press the like button...or even better a single word of appreciation will do
lemme know if u want any improvements
Love
Sur
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