Once Upon A Bards Verse! - Page 19

aite, gold...

am i part of it, everything that i never knew i seeked?


and silver...

hours long ... nowhere in sight, the globe must surely be round


and bronze...

Tomorrow is certain, awaiting everything lost in the way



there's others... i'll be back with my critique :D (u wont believe it, straight down 7 steps this time... i think i woke the whole neighbourhood when i screamed... except, no one in the house came running, guess i was home alone :S)

later, and soon,
~retired hurt :P

*edit 2*

i missed this one, don't ask how, but its the only line my eyes fell on right now before coming to edit this comment and i was surprised at myself to have not had it in the list before... (it falls between gold and silver... closer gold)


promise of certainty only, i don't belong here, where then?


you know i wrote in some blog (ive forgotten when and what it was about) but it asked, why being happy was such a big deal. why, for every sec a day when we just laugh whatever the reason, or even if none, does that not suffice as being happy... its also, a bit of what u said, not like even if we're in morbid depression we're that 24/7.... we're not, correct. still, we're not happy right?

and strangely, such a huge part of that revolves around/inside/outside/witin.. where we are... (not physically alone of course) and how much we belong to it/there...

still haven't seen the damn movie, nvm that now... but i liked the worse, esp in those 4 lines... almost like, and i think i said this for another one too, like they sum it all up for me! :)

mastan!

~ :)

heyyy nijaL ..

~In, Same Way, Out~

Trapped in a false felony, sin not mine

innocence pleading my case, hear me out

Hunger, disgust, pain and emptiness

I suffered them all, time flipping paced days.

Tears, suffocation, anger, it's hard within

Scratches innards, worms breeding, inevitably

Darkness; windowless room, strengthen thoughts

Ignore my speech, give me a chance, begging hell.

Wordless support, denial contrary, promises of care

emerged sane, witnessed the hard sell, courage silence

Powered patience, humanity undamaged, finality accept

Germinating sunlight, granted freedom, I am not guilty.

Was supposed to verse on something else, but ended up with this tonight...had to! :D I am seriously losing it over the number of movies i've watched this month...cutting down even the minimal sleep...phew!

Will get to the other meant-to-do verse tomorrow..hopefully.

ps; hinz...this isn't yours!
pps: does anyone else feel besides me ovb...the words are just put together and i should work on using them in better formed sentences?

~nijal 🥱

*reserved again :D

:) the thing that i REALLY liked about this one was, tera title...cuz woh itna suitable and to the point regarding the verse hai..i cant say!! And well...the use of emotions and the way you projected them, each line defining them in a different way...me likeyy!! and wat you asked, i think NOT!! The words are apt to whatever you arte writing at the mo, and they just form coherence where there is supposed to be none :P tera specialty hai!!

Muaah nijaaz! :D me loves.

heyy nijaL..!!..

aite, yeh no idea why i missed this, i check ur title all the time ... (ps: as a joke @ u-know-what-i-mean-jest maybe i need a pm :D - grrr, i'm still being dadda :D )


anyways, jail of course, what else could u be referring to 'sweetheart' ? *blinks rapidly*

and yeh, although the point is made and portrayed, and no the words aren't just hanging, i did think, the poem was far more at surface...

as in, yes, the description of what we got was there and mattered and had to be told, it completes the picture, its what we call in math, necessary not sufficient...

i missed, i think, the mind of this 'I' in the poem... to some extent... u know??

nonetheless, thats not what you thought or said might be amiss, no im far from agreeing on that!

cheers,
(damn damn damn... i always write nj out of habit, then remember where this is im signing off... lol... u know who now, doncha?!)


*edit again*

forgot to say, i really like the title