Part XXV
"Rahul!" Ridhima looked him taken aback at his outburst, "Where the hell did that come from? What happened - " as she turned red at the implication behind Rahul's words sunk in.
Armaan looked down to hide a smile as he saw the colour suffuse her cheeks, she really did look adorable when she was embarrassed. But he was a little surprised at Rahul's outburst. From what he had seen of Rahul, he was a balanced sensible guy. The outburst was most unlike what he had come to know of him. Was this why Ridhima…nope, she had been quite categorical about the two of them….and he would take her word on this one….he hoped that it was nothing more than a petulant childish reaction….though he was intrigued as to what caused it…he must remember to ask Ridhima that later but for now, he was just amused, and then, in a sudden flush of wickedness, he looked at Ridhima
"Well almost…." Ridhima turned in surprise as Armaan continued with a grin. "Considering the fact that your friend here did not let me get home till past 2 o'clock- "
"Armaan!" Ridhima almost yelled with embarrassment, "What is it with the two of you? Armaan, shut up and Rahul have you taken leave of your senses? Why are you so grumpy? Got off the wrong side of the bed, did you?"
"Nothing!" Rahul grumbled, "It's just that you don't seem to have any time any more! I have been trying to call you since last night but - " he looked at Armaan pointedly once before turning back, " and why is your bloody phone switched off?"
"It ran out of charge last night, and I got to bed so late and preoccupied that I forgot to charge it, so I have left it at home, that's all. I am sorry that you could not get me….." seeing the persisting irritation on his face, she moved closer to give him a hug, and stepping back she looked at him looking down "ok spill the beans, what happened?"
"I will make a move guys, see you later" sensing his presence was an intrusion, Armaan started to move when to his pleasant surprise Ridhima mouthed "sorry" and gave his hand a brief squeeze. Armaan shook his head and gave her a quick smile before he walked away.
"Ok what was that about?"
"Nothing…" Rahul mumbled, feeling a little foolish now that Armaan had left. He felt quite silly at having got so irritated at Armaan's presence. Had he not urged Ridhima to let herself go as far as Armaan was concerned, and not over think about Anjali. And now when she was finally spending time with Armaan, he had got irritated? Well, he had got irritated because he needed to talk things out with her, she had always been his sounding board and before this she had always been around, he had not needed to vie for her attention. Suddenly, his buddy, his best friend did not seem to have time for him.
However, in all fairness, had not most of his waking hours been consumed by thoughts of Muskaan? Just because he needed Ridhima now, consumed by his selfish motivation, he had behaved churlishly with Armaan. What must Armaan think of him? He had been so boorish and brusque with him! Oh lord, as it is Armaan had thought that I was Ridhima's boyfriend and I just behaved like a stereotype jealous one! Did I just screw up things for her? How daft can you get Rahul?
"I am waiting Rahul! " Ridhima tapped impatiently on his shoulder, " after that sterling performance a while back, I am sure there must be something that you have to say!"
"I am sorry Ridhima! I was just so irritated at not being able to reach you…I guess I have got so used to you being a part of my life that I took it for granted that we would always be like this….I forgot that priorities must change…" Rahul said ruefully.
"No they don't!" Ridhima said fiercely, "you will always be my best friend!"
"Of course, I will be, babes" Rahul patted her hair at her indignant expression, "but there will be someone, and from what I have sensed today, not in the too distant future, who will mean the world to you and he must come before I do…if he does not, then you would be unfair to him, to your relationship and to our friendship…"
"Rahul, that's different…"
"Of course the relationship is different but human psyche is not….especially in the case of guys" he admitted ruefully, "no guy will accept that he comes second with the woman he loves, and that too to an old guy friend! Why guys? I think even a woman might have objections to her guy being exceptionally close to another woman…oh my God!....." he paused to think for a moment "Why did I not think of it earlier? If I can get upset because you are spending time with some else and don't have time for me and we are just close friends, is it possible that this is an issue for her as well?"
"Rahul, what the hell are you talking about?" Ridhima, preoccupied with what Armaan had made out of Rahul's uncharacteristic burst, was beginning to loose her patience with Rahul's completely irrational behaviour over the last thirty minutes.
"I am sorry babes. Tell me would you be jealous if Armaan was very good friends with a girl? Why am I asking? Of course you would be, we already know the answer don't we?"
"What is wrong with you Rahul? Where does Armaan come into this? And why should I….I am not jealous of anyone…Who would I be jealous of? This is the crap for which you took off on Armaan and me-"
"Anjali. Don't pull the innocent or daft act with me! Don't tell me Anjali's closeness with Armaan does not bother you a wee bit. If you do say no, then you are lying; lie for all you want to me, but I don't think you'll get past yourself." Rahul smirked as he watched the play of emotions across Ridhima's face. "Alright, we'll indulge in verbal callisthenics later. Tell me if it was anyone, not Armaan, but someone you were in love with, would you be jealous if he was really really close to a pretty attractive woman?"
Ridhima thought for a moment and then nodded, "I guess initially I would be till I was sure that the guy loved me completely and unconditionally"
"So do you think…is there a possibility….could Muskaan be holding back because she may ….this sounds really stupid…"
"Oh God, you think she might be jealous of the fact that you are close friends with me…rubbish, I refuse to believe that…Muskaan …no way!" and as she mulled over Rahul's words, " On second thought, it is possible…she did think that I harboured a thing for you.…do you think I should talk to her?"
"Maybe…" Rahul looked at her guiltily, "I don't think she is going to want to talk to me right now" As Ridhima looked puzzled, he detailed his conversation with Muskaan last night.
Ridhima collapsed on the steps with laughter, " I cant believe you actually said that! Would have loved to see Muskaan's face!" and as Rahul looked at her grimly, trying to stifle her giggles, she muttered, "all right…I am sorry, but it is quite funny…poor Rahul…no wonder you were desperate to talk to me…." Then seeing Rahul's irritated expression, "seriously speaking Rahul, while I will talk to her at some point, I think this is something that you should do, she needs her reassurances from you and not me..…."
Just then the bell rang indicating the start of classes, and, as Ridhima started to get up and walk to the classroom, Rahul held her back, " You know, its easy to give advice but difficult to be objective when you are involved…don't run away from what you are feeling Ridhima…I can sense the excitement and anticipation in your step, and I refuse to believe that Armaan and the time spent with him has nothing to do with it…like I said earlier, you can lie and pretend with me, with Armaan, with Muskaan, with everyone, but you can't lie to yourself….don't hold back Ridhima…..you are never as alive as you are when you are in love with someone and being loved in return, so don't live a half life just because you are scared to reach out and take what is so obviously yours.."…and as they began to walk towards the classroom, he winked at her, "by the way I am still waiting, you still have not told me what you guys did the whole night together?"
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Anjali went over the conversation that she had with Atul. "If you are asking me whether he has told me that he is in love with someone, then the answer is no Anjali…but if you are asking me whether I think he is in love with and committed to someone, I wish I could answer that…I am not sure..." So Armaan had not confided in Atul, but Armaan shared most things with Atul and if he was in love, she was sure that he would have told Atul. Or did Atul know and he was not telling her? No, that was not possible, Atul would not tell an outright lie….Did that mean that she had mis-read the growing bond between Armaan and Ridhima? Were they really only good friends? Was that instinctive bond that Armaan had talked about just that? Could her instincts about them be so wrong? But had not Armaan talked about nipping in the bud the rumours about Anjali and Armaan? Did that not mean that he felt nothing for her? So wasn't she still hoping in vain? But if he was not in love with anyone, including her, did that not give her a fighting chance? Or was she just deluding herself? She did not realise that she had been so lost in her thoughts that she missed the bell, till Ankit patted her on the shoulder to indicate that the class was over.
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Rahul heaved a sigh of relief as he saw Muskaan walking in just as the professor walked in. He had begun to think that she would not come in today. Since Ridhima was sitting in front she had no choice but to come and sit next to him.
"Hi!" Rahul whispered, "Glad to see you could make it! Was beginning to think you were planning on hiding at home"
"Hiding!" Muskaan finally looked at him indignantly, and then lowering her voice to a whisper, "why should I be hiding?"
As the professor started taking attendance, Rahul turned around and with a grin whispered
"Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey
Down came a spider, sat down besides her And frightened Miss Muffet away! "
Despite herself, Muskaan couldn't help being amused. He knew the right buttons to press where she was concerned, she had to grant him that. It was all she could do to stop herself from laughing out loud. Given their conversation last night, the verse, though hilarious, was rather appropriate!
Rahul was relieved to see her smile. At least she was not ignoring him. Now that he had set the ball rolling, he needed to complete their conversation. The only catch was that if he tackled it head on, he was sure that she would bolt or clam up and shut him out. He had to figure a more subtle way of getting through to her and telling her how important she was to him and how Ridhima and his relationship had no bearing on his love for her. They were two separate silos and he knew how to maintain them so… the difficult part was convincing her, but he would…
As the class got over, before Rahul could say anything Muskaan had walked out. S he started to get up, he noticed a folded sheet of paper lying on his desk – he did not use pink paper! He reached out and picked it up and as he opened to read it a huge smile lit up his face reading what was written on the paper
"Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
Kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
Georgie Porgie ran away"
This was why he adored her so much….trust her to take a not so kind jab at him! Well this time, she had got the rhyme wrong….he was not about to run away especially since he had not got to kiss the girl at all….Muskaan Chaddha was about to discover that when Rahul Garewal made up his mind about something, there was little that could get in his way…..
***********
Armaan was walking out of a class when he heard someone call out his name. He turned around to find Rahul walking towards him.
"Hi dude! Feeling a little better? " Armaan grinned at him
"I am so sorry Armaan, that was really churlish of me…I don't know what to say..Its just that I was - "
"You don't have to explain Rahul -"
"Oh I have to because Ridhima and you are both brilliant at catching the most irrelevant and wrong ends of a situation!" Rahul shook his head vehemently as Armaan raised an eyebrow at his comment.
"No really, I have not met a pair of more obdurate people in my life…I guess you'll take longer than most to get what's obvious to me, but that's not what I wanted to talk about. Look, about this morning" as Armaan waved it off, Rahul shook his head, "Please don't stop me Armaan, I need to do this. I am really, really sorry and I need to explain and make sure that you don't misunderstand where it came from. I have grown up with Ridhima and I being each other's shadows. Whenever I am in trouble, she is the one I talk to..and today when I wanted to, she was not around. I was irritated and when I figured she was not accessible because she was with you, I took all my irritation out on you…it was unpardonable, but I am hoping that you will overlook my childish outburst…it was nothing personal, in fact I like you a lot and I think you guys - "
"Its alright buddy, don't worry" Armaan shook the hand that Rahul proffered, interrupting what he was going to say.
Rahul gave him amused look at his obvious attempt to cut his intended words short, "by the way, it was good of you to take Shashank uncle to the hospital. Ridhima tells me you were a big help.."
"Now did she? If you had heard her last night, the only reason she did not throttle me was that her parents were there and the hospital intimidated her!" Rahul joined in as Armaan laughed.
"She can be quite prickly about being independent….so be prepared to walk on eggs around her…you'll be spending your life apologising, so better get used - "
"I was happy to be of help since I happened to be around"
Armaan intervened to try and change the conversation.
"Were you a long distance runner in school or college, Armaan?
" Rahul asked suddenly, surprising Armaan
"No, why?"
"Because you seem to be pretty good at running away! " Rahul smirked at the expression on Armaan's face, " but remember its only when you are running to a goal, that it is a race, otherwise it's a meaningless sprint on a road that leads nowhere…but seriously, thanks for being so understanding, and my apologies once again…see you around buddy!"
Armaan stared after Rahul's retreating back. I am not running away Rahul, he muttered to himself, just trying to understand. I can't deny the attraction I feel for her, never have but…
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Raat yuun dil mein terii khoyii hu'ii yaad aayii
jaise viiraane mein chupke se bahaar aa jaaye
jaise sehraaon mein hauley se chale baad-e-nasiim
jaise biimaar ko be-vajh qaraar aa jaaye
Ridhima paced up and down the terrace as she nursed a cup of hot coffee and listened to music on her I-pod. She had excused herself early from the table, much to her parents' surprise, citing a pretty flimsy excuse of wanting to check something from the terrace before it got too dark. As she paused to gaze at the stars, she mulled over Rahul's words to her that had refused to leave her conscious mind since this morning,
"……..…don't run away from what you are feeling Ridhima…I can sense the excitement and anticipation in your step, and I refuse to believe that Armaan and the time spent with him has nothing to do with it…like I said earlier, you can lie and pretend with me, with Armaan, with Muskaan, with everyone, but you cant lie to yourself….don't hold back Ridhima…..you are never as alive as you are when you are in love with someone, so don't live a half life just because you are scared to reach out and take what is so obviously yours..…"
Was Rahul right? Was she really running away? She had never been scared to look truth in the eye and had always called a spade a spade so why was there reluctance today to even think about some things? Why was she so scared of admitting that she found Armaan extremely attractive? That there was an inexplicable satisfaction in their physical proximity? That she looked forward to daylight because very morning brought the realisation that she would see him? What was so different about Arman that he dominated most of her waking thoughts? It was not that she had not had crushes or relationships before, but she had never connected with anyone like this before…the little things about him that endeared him to her…the characteristic half smile that expressed a languid amusement, the raising of a brow in sardonic disbelief, the laughter in his eyes when he baited her and the mirth that shook his frame as she rose to the bait, the way he ruffled his hair when he was embarrassed, the look of resigned acceptance when she outsmarted him, the redolent acceptance of her desire to get one better of him and allowing her to, the admiration in his eyes when he had heard her sing, the passion in his voice when he talked about something that was important to him…..
It was not just the things that he did, she realised, it was the person that he was….the son who happily scarified his own dreams to realise those of his father's, the brother who was willing to do whatever it took so that his sister could follow her heart, the son who obviously loved his mom, the friend who befriended someone because he connected with him irrespective of their differences, the sensible human being whose values were ground in reality notwithstanding his background, the person who could make her laugh and yet teased her mercilessly, the sensitive guy who could be incredibly gentle with her and comfort her when he felt she was upset. What had he said? "It bothers me to see you upset!" The mere memory of the words suffused her with warmth.
The beep of her cell phone shook her out of her reverie. To her surprise, the phone showed a new message. Thinking that it would be Rahul to tell her about his conversation with Muskaan she opened the message.
"To turn every conceivable shade of red in a matter of a few seconds, is a feat yet unparralled! Hope you weren't too hard on him, he's a good, straight chap!"
"Really? And now what would you know about being straight?" she messaged back, smiling thinking of his reaction.
"For all his faults, I would have you know that Scarlet Pimpernel was completely straight! Marguerite would stand testimony to that!" the
response was so quick that it took Ridhima by surprise.
"Women tend to be romantic fools!" that should have him quiet, she thought.
"A foolish woman knows a foolish man's faults!"
"So you are admitting to being a fool?" Got him, she did a victory jig as she pressed sent.
"Ah, but love makes a wit of the fool! Goodnight and sweet dreams!"
Ridhima grinned foolishly at the message as she felt her cheeks go warm with a flush that had nothing to do with the cool sea breeze. Armaan had been flirting with her and she had actually responded? What did Armaan really feel for her? That he liked her and enjoyed her company was no secret to her nor to anyone else. In fact if there were any doubts, their acceptance of their time spent together, she smiled as she thought of their "date", was a tacit acknowledgement of the fact. But was there anything more than that? What about her own feelings? Was it mere infatuation or anything more serious? For the first time, her feelings scared her a little. This desire to be with him, to spend time around him, to argue with him just to have him tease her back, to spar with him just for the pleasure of having him by her side, the thrill at his protectiveness about her – it frightened her that she was allowing him so much space and time in her life. Was she headed up a road where there would be nothing but despair and heartache?
And where did Anjali come into all of this? Was what Rahul said really true? Was she jealous of Anjali because she had a much longer shared history with Armaan than she, Ridhima, did? It scared her that she might be actually becoming possessive about Armaan without reasonable grounds for that? Had she not felt a twinge of jealousy when Anjali had linked her arms through Armaan's and they had walked off for coffee? Hadn't their closeness bothered her? She had never been like this before. What was happening to her? She did not want to feel all these emotions, they were frightening in their newness and the ruthlessness with which they pervaded her space and refused to be wished away.
Restless, unable to deal with the onslaught of emotions and thoughts, she headed back to her room, hoping that watching television or reading a book would push these thoughts away.
****************
Rahul rang her bell as he balanced two cups of coffee in the take away carton! Lord, why did they not make these a little more easy to manage? And where the hell was she? This was the second time he was ringing the bell! At this rate, they might as well have cold coffee!
Muskaan's mouth dropped open as she saw Rahul standing at her door, "What the hell are you doing here at this time?" she asked bewildered.
"Well you did say that Cinderella's deadline was 11 o'clock! " Rahul responded cheekily " as per my watch its still 10 o'clock…did not want to take the risk in case the wig was off, the dentures in a bowl of water…er..coffee?" he held up the two mugs as he saw her not so amused look at his attempt at humour.
Muskaan smiled as she led him in. He really did not give up easily did he? She should have figured that he would want to finish the conversation, well, it had to be done sometime, so why not now?
They sat down in the living room as Muskaan opened and offered Rahul a pack of chocolate chip cookies.
"Ah a girl after my heart! " Rahul exclaimed, " how did you know that I love these?"
"I don't know of any kid who does not!" Muskaan quipped back, " so what did you want to talk about"
"See how well you know me…" Rahul responded, "I wanted to talk about Armaan and Ridhima" Rahul smiled to himself as he saw Muskaan's expression. She clearly had been expecting him to talk about them,. Great, this was just the way he wanted to play it.
"What about Armaan and Ridhima? Are they in some problem?" Muskaan asked recovering quickly. Really Rahul was the limit, here she had been getting stressed about their conversation last night and what Rahul might want to say to her, and all he wanted to talk about was Armaan and Ridhima? All guys were the same! Completely insensitive!
"Well, since you seem to walk around with blinkers, they seem to spend a lot of time together …"
"So?"
"So, my little tube light, there is a strong possibility that they are very attracted to each other.."
"You came to tell me this at 10 o'clock at night?" Muskan almost screeched, " I could have told you this ages ago….Armaan picking her up for the dance, them close dancing, her putting him in a spot over the movie, their constant banter and one up-manship…they seem to spend most of their spare time together…the fact that they are attracted to each other is a no brainer…"
"Hold your horses girl….that is not the issue…"
"Then?"
"Ridhima is strong-minded woman and once something gets into her head she does not let go of it easily. I am sure you would completely empathise with how that could happen…" Rahul ducked as Muskaan threw a cushion at him, " seriously, she seems to have got it into her head that Anjali and Armaan and very good friends, in fact she used to believe that Anjali and Armaan were together but mercifully Armaan disabused her of that notion…but she still feels a little jealous perhaps of Anjali's presence in Armaan's life…."
"Hmmm…." Muskaan was obviously lost in some thoughts
Rahul looked at her as he carefully chose his next words, " she is worried that even though Armaan has clarified that Anjali is a very good friend, would she still resent Anjali's bond with Armaan? Which is the reason, I suspect that she does not allow herself to feel anything for Armaan, though if you ask me they both are in love with each other and are being very silly about it…..what I wanted to ask you was how do we make her understand that Armaan's friendship with Anjali is very different from Armaan and her relationship. She does not have to feel jealous of that…" he knew he had her full attention now and she was too bright not to make the connections, "Muskaan, if you love someone, you need to trust them…you need to trust the emotions that are there between the two of you… otherwise there is no sanctity to that emotion….where there's love, there has to be trust and faith…but for you to know that you have got to give your emotions a chance,,,you can't let go of something that could be wonderful because of an unnamed fear…. That is what we need to tell ourselves, tell her and hope that she has the courage to follow her heart…."
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Ok guys, here's part 25 much delayed, but I typed about 4 pages which were very helpfully erased by my young house guest who decide to try and play games on my laptop. It really irritated me, but I could hardly whack a child esp when he looked at me with patently false remorse on his face, plus I am a sucker for dimples! And then it took me a long time to get myself to sit down and type the part all over again. Plus I have a terrible sore throat which is making me terrifically grumpy…basically a long list of complaints in the hope you don't get too mad at the delay! Now that my distraction is away, shall try and update much faster and hopefully the pace of the story itself would be much faster!"
Thanks to everyone who wished me a lovely weekend. I had a fantastic one which is another reason why this part got delayed!
I dont know how the part has come out since i have not read it agian afetr completeing it...if its terrible please bear with me! Please do read and leave me comments including brickbats!
Lots of love
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