Hints development - A Shraman TS / Last part : Page 15 - Page 7

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nith125 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#61

Originally posted by: anonymousanju

nith thanks for the pm dear...sorry for commenting this late...
such a different story n the title is really very cute...it seemed so unique...its really different from the stories I've read till yet...God chota shravu n sumo acts as friends in front of everyone...that's great...
n how can he be such a cute dumb...
writing hints...he's so lovely ...
n sumo is sumo as usual...
loved the way you've plotted the story...really impressive...looking forward to it...
waiting for next pm...:) update soon ...

Thank you so much Anju ! Will definitely PM 😊
Roshni2015 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#62
Nith,
I finally read this... And it's amazing... Brilliant concept!!
See, I told you... 😉
Anyways... It's always a pleasure reading your stories... You write them so well... Totally in character for chotu Shravan to do something like this... The transition into the adult Shravan was so seamless... The flow of thd story is super...
Continue soon dearie!!!
And my love... 🤗 for you.
Cheers!!
nith125 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#63

Originally posted by: Roshni2015

Nith,

I finally read this... And it's amazing... Brilliant concept!!
See, I told you... 😉
Anyways... It's always a pleasure reading your stories... You write them so well... Totally in character for chotu Shravan to do something like this... The transition into the adult Shravan was so seamless... The flow of thd story is super...
Continue soon dearie!!!
And my love... 🤗 for you.
Cheers!!

Thank you so much Rosh 🤗
And of course you were right ! I had fun writing it 😊
nith125 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#64
A big thanks to everyone for your lovely comments. The second part is shorter, mainly because I realised that I couldn't finish what I started in 2 parts, so there will be a third part. I do hope you all like it, even if you don't feel free to criticise. 😊
Please forgive typos 😉
Cheers !


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was around 4 in the evening when Sumo left PCT. Preetha had chased her off saying she needed to spend some more time with Shravan as they were newly married. Clearly there was a gap between her and Shravan. He had confessed, she had come back, they had decided to start fresh but something was different. They had hugged, they cuddled when they slept but something was stopping them from going further. She felt Shravan hesitate. Last night they had kissed but it was Shravan who stopped, she wanted to continue. She would be ready for him today, she would surprise him.

As she walked in, Preethi was in walking in the garden, talking on the phone. She was blushing and Sumo knew it was Pushkar.
"Me too " she said on the phone
"Accha babaa , poora bolti hoon. I love you. Di aa gayi, baad mein baat karti hoon"

"Preethi, Pushkar Mumbai mein ruk raha hai kya ?"
"Haan Di, hearing postpone ho gayi, kal subha hai"
"Oh ho, tabhi to phone pe romance ?" she teased
"Di, waise aap donor mein se kaun I love you zyaada bolta hai ? Aap na ?"
"Chup kar, apni Di se koi aise sawal karta hai ?" she said and walked away.

It stuck Sumo like a bolt of lightning. She had never said it. Things then started to fall in place.Is that why Shravan was hesistating ? Did he want to hear it ? Of course !
Didn't her coming back show that she loved him ? But she had also told him that her trust was broken, that had probably confused him. She walked, lost in thought into their room.

Shravan was startled by the noise of the door opening and she was shocked to see him.
Her surpise plan went down the drain. The moment he saw Sumo, he ducked and slid the paper right under the sofa but Sumo was Sumo.

"Shravan tum itne jaldi waapis aa gaye ?"
"Kaam kam tha Sumo, ek hi to case hai, bohout free hoon. Tum bolo itni jaldi waapis kaise ?"
Even after all the issues had been sorted, Shravan had decided to continue his new practice, that way both he and Chachi were happy.

She just opened her mouth to answer when Preethi called out from downstairs. They had told her to be careful with the stairs, not that she would climb even otherwise.

"Di, Mummy ji aap ko bula rahi hain" she yelled.
"Jao" he said unwillingly

He felt foolish now. Sumo had seen the paper. He could neither leave it there nor take it.
Bad idea Shravan, he said to himself. But his mind wandered. Why was Sumo home so early ? PCT closed at 5. And it was only half past 4.
Was that a hint ? He decided to use his phone instead of the paper this time.
"Sumo wants to spend time with me" but why hadn't she told him,so right below that he typed
"Sumo is hiding something from me. She wants to spend time alone"

He walked up and down as always wondering what took her so long. It was almost time for dinner. He went down and saw her smiling and talking to Vandy bhabhi, Varun & Preeti.
"Sumo cares for my family" and right below it
"Sumo is avoiding me"

Sumo saw the look on his face. She knew what was cooking in his head.He looked so adorable when he was even a little bit jealous. She knew he couldn't stand sharing her with anyone else but they were his family.

Shravan sulked all through dinner and after. Sumo enjoyed every moment of this. She would say what he wanted to hear but she wanted it to be really special. She would plan it, it would have to be perfect.There was a gift she had got him but never given him, it was still in Tiwari Killa, she would pick it up. They were starting to the US the next evening and she was going to see them off anyway.

Sumo was the first one in the room. She had sneaked out of the dining room, went straight to the sofa and picked up the sheet. Just then Shravan walked in.
"Sumo ? kya kar rahi ho ?"
"Shravan shayad tumhara blank paper hai" she held it out

Shravan snatched it from her.
"Haan to ?"
"Sofa ke neeche kyon hai ?"
"Marzi meri " he said getting defensive
"Tum kuch likh rahe the kya ? Phir se shayari ?"
"Sardi ki doop... wah wah wah " she mocked

And at that moment Shravan wanted her all for himself. He was tired and fed up of sharing her with others.He had missed her for 10 years. They had her all along. It was his turn to spend time with her. Also her hints weren't clear when they all were around. There had to be a better way to figure out what she was thinking.

"Kya soch rahe ho ab ? Shayari bhool gaye ?" she laughed her Sumo laugh and that was enough to get them started on another round of banter.

Night, much to both of their disappoinment was uneventful. Morning arrived and when Shravan woke up, he saw her looking at him, watching him like she had never seen him sleep before. It reassured him and brought a smile to his face.

"Sumo ... kya dekh rahi ho ?"
"Waise mein soch rahi thi"
"Accha .. woh bhi kar leti ho ?"
She hit him on his hand with the full force she could muster and he pretended to be hurt.
"Achha bolo kya soch rahi thi"
"Yahin ki mera chashmish itna badal gaya hai"

And after a while when she went to take a shower, he unlocked his phone again
"Sumo likes me" and right below
"Sumo adores chashmish"

And Shravan knew where he would take her.

(To be continued)

Edited by nith125 - 8 years ago
dhanyata thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#65
Woah!! So sumo not telling her love (in the show), can be taken along in this way too !! 😃 She is not intentional, but she didn't tell him yet. So shravan is hesitating. Quite Natural !! (Season 2, if at all, CAN VERY WELL START WITH THIS PART🥳 Not sure about the future potential plots, but to start with, this would be a promising one. )
and Shrav's struggle in knowing her, his jalkukda-ness all expressed beautifully !! 😳
Its cute, that shravan is writing things from his analysis about Sumo's behavior. Liked the way that you kept the previous part as Hints development and this one also something of similar kind, He is gathering hints and writing them all !!

All compliments to you. Keep writing more😊
Akriti12 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#66

Hey Nith, awesome update👏..so simple yet impactful...Shravan's note-making is perfect and jealous Shravan is cherry on the top...😉

Sumo "ll always be sumo..how good she is on annoying him..eager to see the special way of her love confession as we always saw the shravan's love...❤️

Update soon...😊


Jerry2308 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#67
Amazing. ..so sumo is planning a surprise nd there shravan is so confused about hints...continue soon
Sunain thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#68
Res
*****
Unres

Woah...tht ws amazingly amazing..
Sumo planning to purpose him...yaa [:D/] how will she surprisee him..??
waisy shravan ki hint game is fun...hez a shoona
Lets see wht hints he'll catch ahead...n how he'll react.. 😆
Moreover he still can't share her with anyone...he wants her all.. 😳
sexual frustation is eating him up n may be sumo also..11 saal ka jo pyaar hai 😉
Can't wait to knw wht unfolds ahead...plz plz update soon.
loved it...was beautifully penned. 😃
Edited by Sunain - 8 years ago
KitkitMkb thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#69
It's getting better and better, thank you for incorporating the fact that she didn't say I love you yet, I am in for a confession !
Safire thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#70
Arey nith!! As you said it is really short yaar😭 i really need a good length of third part! I know You will fillfil my wish!and naan, sumo tho" i love you" bholthi hi nai, tho chalo hum sub bhol dhethe hain😉 i really enjoyed the write-up!!! Good job!!!!

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