Mary your post was SO fabulous that I read it all word to word! Just amazing and I agree totally. WHY is it that a woman who voices her opinions, who likes to do things on her own, who likes to be her own Boss, always shown up as selfish, egoistic and narcissistic? Is being an educated woman who wants to have a job, who wants to do well outside the home, a crime? She still loves her family. They still matter most to her.
I am an educated woman with a career. But I am also married now and have a family. My family matter most to me. I even gave up work for 2 years for them, but now returned to my career. (Trust me it was hard for me to do). I work in a high pressure Finance environment and I was used to cracking deals all day and then to not have that was tough. But I am back in it and loving it and WONT apologize for it.
If a woman wants to stay home, she need not apologize for that either! But NEITHER is better than the other. Women at home are not "selfless earth mothers", and woman who work are not "selfish narcissists". This way of thinking that women who value their self worth and want to be in control of their own lives are "bad wife material" is BS, and needs to stop! THIS is the problem with society. Women who have a backbone are called "Egoists", but the very same quality in a man is admired as having "Guts!"
Shravan is a very GOOD guy. He is the kind of guy a woman wants in her life. He loves deeply, is loyal, is kind and passionate. But it takes a very secure man to be able to handle a successful woman. (I am happy I found one, coz they are not that easy to come by). A secure man is NOT effected by his wife's success or her backbone, because HE has enough confidence in himself not to be effected by any of it. He knows his importance in her life and that nothing matter more to her than he does. Therefore he does not let her independence become an "Issue" between them and neither should it be!
Shravan's Dad had an"Major Issue" with his wife's success. THAT was the cause of their rift. Her success, her being in control of her life and her being promoted when he was struggling in his career made him insecure and jealous. That comment by Lalaji that "if you taunt someone long enough, soon there wont be anyone to hear your taunts" was a PERFECT line for Ramnath. That is exactly what he did to his wife! Pity that Shravan didn't realize this example was about his own parents but with the reverse of what he thinks! His Father DROVE his Mother away. Not the other way around. He needs to understand that his Father is now trying to do exactly the same thing with Suman. Drive her away from his life like he did his Mother. Because of Ramnath, he has lost the two women closest to him and matters the most to him.
I hope that soon Shravan realizes the error of his thinking and see the truth. That a "Doormat who smiles" does not a "Perfect Wife" make. It is a woman who loves and cares and gives her ALL that matters. Not that she continues to pretend to agree with you to keep the so called "Peace!".
I didn't intend to write such a long comment, but it happened anyway! Thanks again Mary for such a great post!
Edited by MrDarcyfan - 9 years ago
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