Wild Oats... - Page 8

Originally posted by: nottygarfield

Hail Aarti!😉 damn if the word hadn't been ruined for me mecause of mogambo and hitler!!!!

Now i know which book am gona read next!! u must!!!

Originally posted by: nottygarfield

DD...why is being liked so important?I have come across some phenomenal people with beauty,talent,brains all in good combination yet they are forever engulfed in insecurities abt being liked!Otherwise too one doesnt need to have the abve qualities to have confidence in themselves.

Yes i do understand that its a natural human tendency that we all like being liked.But should that be the driving force?after all the maximum it can do is boost the confidence and inflate the ego!
why the need to have someone affirm the faith in you?

you want a lecture? or an emotional take on that? or both??? gimme some time...lunch!

Notty: Exactly what I was thinking about too... after seeing your earlier reply...that why is being liked of such paramount important for us to be able feel good about ourselves... and why does it prick the most , to hear someone tell that we are not liked...

Aarti, is it , our hazy interpretations of like and acceptance and the way we see being liked as being accepted into the society...and also feel that we are appreciated when we are told we are liked , that makes it of paramount importance to hear that we are liked..? When in actual , all the three... like , acceptance and appreciate are starkly diff concepts and yet deeply connected..!! Hmmm...

*Edited* ... after a lil pondering...

I guess... like I mentioned before "like" is more related to the physical realm and seems to limit itself to the same , and as you put it Aarti, that we mortals seem to relate to anything that is tangible and hence..

But still wondering , if there is , or could be anything beyond this explanation of tangible that makes "being liked" seem of such paramount importance to us in our lives.?

Jus rambling again I guess...!!! Would love if you could clear the clouds for me yet again Aarti!

The term id translates into English as strictly "it". It stands in direct opposition to the super-ego. It is dominated by the pleasure principle. The mind of a newborn child is regarded as being completely "id-ridden", in the sense that it is a mass of instinctive drives and impulses, and demands immediate satisfaction. The id is responsible for our basic drives such as food, sex, and aggressive impulses. It is without a sense of time, completely illogical, primarily sexual, infantile in its emotional development, and will not take "no" for an answer.

The ego mediates among the id, the super-ego and the external world. Its task is to find a balance between primitive drives, morals, and reality while satisfying the id and superego. Its main concern is with the individual's safety and allows some of the id's desires to be expressed, but only when consequences of these actions are marginal. Ego defense mechanisms are often id behavior conflicts with reality and either society's morals, norms, and taboos or the individual's expectations as a result of the internalization of these morals, norms, and taboos.

In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one's self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one's self. It means a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory.

The ego is the mediator between the id and the superego; trying to ensure that the needs of both the id and the superego are met. It is said to operate on a reality principle, meaning it deals with the id and the superego; allowing them to express their desires, drives and morals in realistic and socially appropriate ways. It is said that the ego stands for reason and caution, developing with age.

The super-ego is a symbolic internalization of the father figure and cultural regulations. The super-ego tends to stand in opposition to the desires of the id because of their conflicting objectives, and is aggressive towards the ego. The super-ego acts as the conscience, maintaining our sense of morality and the prohibition of taboos.

The human mind is a confluence of the three…Id, Ego and Super-ego. Of one were to explain the need to be liked, it is part of id. Taking off from the child analogy, in each of us lies a child that needs to be picked up and held every now and then. A child needs, primarily, to feel secure before the primal needs of hunger takes over and it is this child in us that calls for like. Anjali's defence confidence is a result of the ego's defence mechanism, that bridges the idridden needs to be loved and the external world of disapproval. It also battles the super-ego of the father figure's 'morality'. Ridhima is still stuck in the id stage of development and her super-ego sees not opposition, but approval. Her ego therefore manifests as the elevated sense of self.

A question on why the human mind cannot satisy its ego with just the sense of acceptance which is a form of the super-ego can therefore be answered by a mere attention to the id and its need to be loved and liked. The need to be liked and loved is as basic to the id as is perhaps hunger or sleep, if one can master the latter, then he/she can also master the former. Our ascetics, who aim to control their primal urges in times also conquer their emotional needs. The id is present in all, in time it just succumbs to the defence of the ego. The child in us, however, is never completely satiated with the ego-centric comfort. It does not yield, it merely surrenders!!!