Falling in love with more than one person - Page 4

Originally posted by: s.priya

Why not... Love is like any other emotion, which can happen at any
time. Love need not be physical either. So it is very much
possible for a person who is well and happily married and in love with
her spouse to also like and love another person.

How one handles such an emotion is what then decides the future course of their lives and their desiny.

I also believe that if a person indulges in extra marital affairs,
there is nothing taboo about it either. After all, it is only an
emotion and nothing more than that. Emotional attachments and
dalliances often lead u to trouble. If u r emotionally very
stable and your affairs do not cloud up your mind and heart, then there
is no problem at all.

Originally posted by: Minnie

I don't think it is possible for a either a man or a woman to love two people with the same kind of intensity at the same time. If you already love your spouse to an extreme limit, there is no place for a second person to fit in, even the thoughts of infidelity will not cross. Finding someone attractive or appreciating the qualities and the beauty that person posseses is not a sin. It's a natural response of a human being to beauty in any form. But if you start linking yourself to the other person, giving him/her space in your emotional space which ideally should be reserved only for your spouse, then you are infringing on your spouse's right to sole occupacy of that space, and that definitely is a sin.

The moment you give access to the 'other' person in your emotional space, you are taking away something which belongs to only your spouse. So for me, that qualifies as infidelity. You might not persue it, but sometimes the intention themselves are worse than the actual crime committed.....

So if your truly love your husband/wife, the thoughts for anyother person which is even remotedly romantic in any serious form has no place in your mind and if they do, you are indulging in infidelity.

Originally posted by: Rumi

This is where the problem arises. Suddenly the spring water is turning into a trickle into her mind where the need for her husband is not strong as before. In fact the husband wants it, but she is too emotionally drained to have anything left for her husband.....inevitably, disasters strike.....

off course minnie. agree with you 100%.that's why i said we have to undersand what is tap-water and what is spring-water.certainly we should not give too much importance and time on the secondary relationship so that the relationship with the spouse gets hampered. that's why i wanted to say that we have to understand the definition and off course , the limit of each and every relation. 😊

I agree with both Rumi and Minnie and this post reminds me of the movie "Bridges of Madison County" Meryl Streep did wonderful job in it.

I think as we grow older our emotional and intellectual needs change too and the person we love may only fulfill 80% of that. One can never love second time as much as the first one or in the same sort of way but may enjoy it even more. And this is where Limit comes in.

If you close that emotional space within then you stop seeing the world outside and the capacity to dream. It is great to be able to appreciate the ouside and still be very commited to the world inside.

Originally posted by: Rumi

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Now the problem is how she will manage these two relations? Often we see that marriages are getting broken. Problem lies in the fact that often we cannot define a relation or rather, we cannot recognize a relation. First of all we have to understand what is love actually? For most of the people love is staying together throughout the life, having physical relationship and sharing joy and sorrows all along. Yes, this is surely one definition of love. But according to me, love has different faces. Love is not always as simple as that. Love is friendship also, a friendship which stands beyond the boundaries of life and death. Love is being available for a person throughout the life whenever he/she needs you. Love is like a glow within yourself, a feeling that there is someone in this big world who will always be there for you, who will always cry in your sorrow and smile in your joy. Love is a feeling that there is someone in this earth for whom you will wish to live not to die. Love is a feeling that there is someone staying silently with you for whose existence you will happily do your duties throughout the life. This is also love. So one has to identify which kind of love is it. He/she may live happily with his/her spouse and still he/she can have a real friend like this whom he/she will love forever like this. And for this love he/she will not stop loving his/her spouse.

We have to understand that abandoning someone if we want to have someone else we will never be happy. We have to learn how to distinguish different relations, how to recognize the character of each and every relation. If we can learn this there will be no necessity of break-ups or divorces.

You love your tap water because without it you cannot live in your daily life. But once a year you visit mountains and you love to watch the spring-water falling from the hills. You cannot go near it and you cannot use it in your daily life. But still you are happy to watch it once a year from a distance. Relations of love in your life are just like that. Some are like tap water and some are like spring-water. We have to recognize which relation is tap water and which is spring-water. The day we understand this we have no problems like break-ups or divorces.

(This is only my personal view and I hope I am not hurting anybody with this.😊)

I salute you RUMI for having such a broad mind.👏👏👏

Thanks for an excellent discussion, Rumi. This is the topic, so many people normally have in their minds but they have no courage to say it out loud. You said it so beautifully.