Foreigner bride

hey this is lorel frm switzerland,2 yrs back i met this indian guy in college,whose 2 yrs senior.an later became frnds and then decided tht v were made for each other.But back home when his parents in India got informed abt this,they raised a lot of problems abt a foreigner bride,for their son,although after a lot of makin them understand,they somehow accepted.question is as many ppl here r frm india,is there some issue abt havin a foreigner as bride or groom??does it bring ne type of problems in the society??

Originally posted by: usachick821

well for one thing if his parents are in india they probably distrust foreigners due to 3 main reasons:

1: movies, they depict foreigners as people who have no values and morals and will sleep around

2: there are many things that are expected and known by indian women (traditions and customs) to please ur inlaws, and those are obviously not known by non-indian people, and thus they cannot possibly assimilate with indian culture (according to ur inlaws)

3: religion, us indians (most) are very religious (though i am an exception), and as in any religion, it is frowned upon to marry someone of a different religion.


If you truly love him then i'm sure u will try ur hardest to please his parents, and eventually they will come to accept you, just dont lose hope!

I couldn't have said it better myself....yes you are absolutely right. Theses are usually the main reasons why families dissapprove, but it doesn't mean u can not convince them right?😉 And u know what they say,"Everything is fair in love and war." as long as u don't hurt anyone.😊 But good luck to you and just have hope and believe..

Originally posted by: Lovers Ka Love

hOPe mAKe eVEry tHIng pOssIble, BeLIve is tHe wAy tO sUceSs, lOVe Is a wAr & aNd wORld is a battLefIeld.
nOThing cAn mAke any pRobLem, iF yOu lOve sOm1 dOesnt mAtter hE Or sHe is forigner.

very well said👏

Originally posted by: Lorel

thx,actualy,last month my boyfreind got a letter frm his parents,and after he showed me the letter wat i felt was tht,
the main reason they disliked non-indians was coz they felt tht their society wud not accept a bride who wud work at a same level as the groom,as they feel tht it is the MAN who is the supreme power,they want someone,tht theyu dont want a bride for their son but a showpiece to put in the showcase and show it to all their frnds,and it is a shame to them if the wife is not covered frm head to toe in a saree.

ahhh....i sense a lot of simmering anger and frustation .actually lorel it is more than your being foreigner....everyone distrusts something he/she does not know and does not understand. if they are wary of you, then somewhere in your heart you too are wary of them.

anyways the issue is that western and eastern culture have very different lifestyles and ways of thinking.western culture is more person oriented while eastern cultures are more society oriented. both type of idealogies have thier pros and cons .it is generally not easy for people of western culture to assimilate into much restrictive eastern culture especially if you are a woman. ask yourself if you would be willing to learn an indian language, respect thier beliefs(however stupid they might seem), play by thier rules. would you be willing to settle down in india sometime in future. do you respect and understand that culture and feel a harmony with it. if the answer is yes then you are allset , and all thier fears will alleviate once they meet you . however if your answer was no then they do have reason to dislike you...they look at you as an outsider who is up to usurp thier little kid on a whim called love. on the other hand is that not what your parents would expect out of your spouse. for example.... what is wrong in being covered from head to toe in saree...it is a very graceful dress....if you respect thier desire to see you in a saree then ,maybe they will learn to respect you in western dresses

the bottomline is that indians believe(and are right about it to some extent) that marraiges are not just bonds between two individuals but also bond between thier respective families and lifestyle. for a long and happy married life a couple needs something more than just love...a respect for each other's familial backgrounds because that is something that cements your relationship even more.

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

Lorel ji;

You are generalizing.

Remember the most powerful person in Indian politics is a Europian bride. Many prominant Indians are married to involved with or have children with people of othr reces and nationalities. So do many non-prominant Indians I know personally.

Other than things mentioned in posts above, Indians are weary of foriegners because some foreigners who came to do business in India ended up ruling us for quarter of a centur and left only after shooting and hanging a bunch of us. That has of course nothing to do with you and your relationship but that does play in psyche of people. I am telling you this so it wpould help you understand the mindframe of people you are dealing with.

Indian society is not monolithic. All societies, cultures and ethnicities have some segments resistant to change - especially when it concerns something as crucial as marraige. If you and your fiance are right for each other that is all that really matters.

pliz dont get me wrong,am not generalising i am sayin only abt "them" tht is my bf's parents,i myself love india as a country,and beleive in the sayin incredible india.

Originally posted by: pj04

ahhh....i sense a lot of simmering anger and frustation .actually lorel it is more than your being foreigner....everyone distrusts something he/she does not know and does not understand. if they are wary of you, then somewhere in your heart you too are wary of them.

anyways the issue is that western and eastern culture have very different lifestyles and ways of thinking.western culture is more person oriented while eastern cultures are more society oriented. both type of idealogies have thier pros and cons .it is generally not easy for people of western culture to assimilate into much restrictive eastern culture especially if you are a woman. ask yourself if you would be willing to learn an indian language, respect thier beliefs(however stupid they might seem), play by thier rules. would you be willing to settle down in india sometime in future. do you respect and understand that culture and feel a harmony with it. if the answer is yes then you are allset , and all thier fears will alleviate once they meet you . however if your answer was no then they do have reason to dislike you...they look at you as an outsider who is up to usurp thier little kid on a whim called love. on the other hand is that not what your parents would expect out of your spouse. for example.... what is wrong in being covered from head to toe in saree...it is a very graceful dress....if you respect thier desire to see you in a saree then ,maybe they will learn to respect you in western dresses

the bottomline is that indians believe(and are right about it to some extent) that marraiges are not just bonds between two individuals but also bond between thier respective families and lifestyle. for a long and happy married life a couple needs something more than just love...a respect for each other's familial backgrounds because that is something that cements your relationship even more.

my own mom is an indian,who left india at a young age.pliz dont get me wrong i by no way say tht Indian society or culture is wrong,it is only i am talkin abt some particular ppl.abt marriages and indian society,i respect it a lot,and i also studied books by vivekananda and other great indian leaders regardin indian culture and society.the line which i have bolded i am sayin tht,i am ready to be wateva plizez them but,i feel one cannot change their whole identity to pliz someone else,i respect his background and family,or else i even need not ask for their permission as both of us are already financialy independent.abt wearin saree,the photoraph of mine which we sent to them was me wearin a choridar,which my bf said was a equaly cultural dress in india as a saree.No matter which country,caste or creed we belong,bonds and relations need equal respect and love.