Working Moms! - Page 2

Originally posted by: Groovychick

My mum and dad both work! 😊
But it is ok as I live in a joint family so if my parents are not there, then I will always have either my dadi, chacha, chachi or someone else look after me..even though I don't need to be taken care of 😳 😆
My mum works from around 9:00am in the morning till 5:30pm..its not that long as my dad works from around 9:30am to 8:00pm 😕
but my mum always has time for us!
She'll spend time helping my li'l sis with her h/w after school, and she does the cooking and all when shes back. My and my lil sisters school starts at around 8:45am so she makes our lunch or whatever, dresses my sis up and then shes ready to go. It is her usual routine and it does not affect our timetable in anyway 😕
They have a right to have a professional and social life too and not spend it at home doing chores all the time. Ofcourse thats not what a housewife is all about but I would rather do any small job than sit at home all day serving my family. This is not because I don't like them but because God gave us all some type of ability, to actually do something constructive with it and not make no use of it at all.

hats off to your Mom...I think she is doing a great job...and u are lucky to have a joint family..I think that is the pillar of strength for your mom which makes her accomplish so much!👏

• The conclusion here is that a good support system can help a career woman achieve a lot!

Originally posted by: abhijit shukla

My wife works and is really good at her job. Shw is intelligent and has actualy spent more years in post graduate education than me. To me having her sit at home was never an option I could have lived with although we did not need for her to work.

Abhijit, an open minded and supportive partner is definitely the first step for a career woman who wants to reah for her dreams!! Your wife sure is lucky!!
I believe the society as a whole is behind the curve in coming up with a model for two working parents.
The job market should be structures so that there are a wide-spread opportunities where one of the spouses can work 40-50 hours a week and the other can work 20-25. Now it is all or none.

Totally agree here... the society still has to realise this very important need ... today educated women form a large part of the society and it is time that the system was modified to realise the special requirement of a working home maker!!

The worst thing is that the more you work as a couple, the lesser fraction of your hard work you can keep.

Oh Boy...ask me about it...In the past there was a time when I worked just for the sake of adding the work ex onto my CV...all my salary went to pay the maid(s) and a driver as I didnt drive at that point and I wanted to get back home from work as fast as possible 😆

Fortunately for us grandparents were always in picture so children did not have to suffer much. That is another model society needs to work on. Let grandparents be involved and give people benefits for caring for their elderly parents in stead of dumping them in elder homes.
We could not find a single home in one of America's top 100 cities that would let parents live with us and still let us have our privacy. Now we have to build one.

Thats the ideal scenario...but 2 things here...

1) Some of the parents still might be working when their grandchildren are born...

2) Adjustment problems for either partner if the parents of the spouse come in and stay with the family...

Welcome Abord Telly. Do tell us about yourself.

Thanks Abhijit...I am an overworked mum..currently based in Abu Dhabi who wants to retire rightaway!!😛

Originally posted by: sowmyaa

TallyHo, welcome to Debate Mansion 😊

Thanks Sowmya!

Yes, this topic has been discussed, before, but your topic is still special which emphasize on growing at your work and promotion.

I myself am a working mother and all the questions you asked always come to my mind all the time. I stoped working for 2 years when my daughter was born and then started part time till last month. Now that she is 4 1/2 i started working full time. I still work with the same company I used to work before my daughter was born. I had trained some people there who are now managers. It was initially hard to work under people who I had trained. However, this is price I pay to be with my daughter. My company have let me work whatever hours I want, and whenever I want. I can't thank them more. With this flexibility I am able to give enough justice to my child and family. But it does hurt me at times 'coz I can't put more hours, cannot attend seminars or training out of town at times, and have limited time I can give to company. As you said, i also try to cut down as much social events at work as I can. But then it's a choice or decision we make right now that what is important for us. It depends upon each individual family or couple what they decide. I am not saying one is right and other is wrong, it's just a personal decision. I have come to conclusion and decision that until my daughter is out to college my carreer is going to be secondary for me. With living in United States one good thing is I can take plunge and work on my career and further education at any time and any age.

I empathize totally...you could be talking about me here...and yes it certainly is is an individual choice and u certainly cant say that one is wrong and the other right!!

I would like to mention another kind of pressure that I was subjected to at one stage...when I decided to take a year off from work after my daughter's birth I started to be hounded by relatives and friends and strangers asking me when did I plan to go back to work????

Did u feel that at any point?...and yes...u certainly are very lucky to be in the US where u enrol for college at 45 and no one will bat an eye lid..but ppl can be very nosey and interfering in India.. 😛

Originally posted by: shikara

I am fairly new to motherhood and this is something I am grappling with right now. I gave birth to my son in Canada and we have a years mat leave so I am on it but I dont know what to do after. Its tough becuase as abhijeetji said I dont want to stay at home. I enjoy working. i love corporate life and working on my career at the same time my husband is a resident so he has absolutely no hours to spare as Abhiji can vouch and i dont know whether i want my son to grow up with Nannies. It would be wonderful for grandparents to my inlaws and my parents are still in the corporate working jungle themselves ( both of us having grown up in 2 parent working families) so its is something that I grapple with. I love working, but then I question am I being selfish that in order to satisfy my amibition, will i be hurting my sons?

I'm sorry tallyji, I think I ended up posing more questions than answering yours.

Its nothing abnormal to feel the way u are feeling right now! ( if thats any consolation😊)

Its not easy but my suggestion is not to be too hard on urself...try to create a balance between ur needs and ur son's...and u already have a supportive hubby which is so great!!

And things will be better as they grow old...believe me!🤗

Originally posted by: sirigina

Dear Tally,

So good to see you here.

Same here Sarah🤗

Sometimes it is tough to decide which is more important. And it always seems like we are caught in a Catch-22 situation. And no matter which ever way you sway it still will be a tough call to make.

siiiigh...ask me about it...

For nuclear families, it is tough to manage a job and excel at it and manage young kids at home. School going kids beyond a certain age are fine but when they are tiny tots and you lack a support system, it would be very much left to the parents choice and priorities of the time. And to how both the partners share the work or taking care of kids at home.

yes it is much tougher when they are tiny
It would be much easier when the kids are a little bit older but when they are tiny tots, it becomes extremely hard on the parents to decide which is more important - leave those kids in kid care or take care of them on their own thereby, keeping aside their dreams of success at work at bay for a while till the kids grow up.

you do have to keep your dreams aside for a while coz you are responsible for these tiny beings u created...but keeping them aside makes u wonder whether fulfilling them at a later stage would be possible or would u have just missed the bus!!.....yess it is a tough call!!

It is really a tough call to make !

Thanks,
Sarah

Originally posted by: lighthouse

Hey Tally- Good to see you here..

Good to see u too!!

Why is it that mostly women are the ones in this dillemma and not men? Would love to see how men would decide when to have kids if they were to sacrifice their professional lives.

Good question...will the men answer please!!

Family dynamics are changing and I feel it is best to postpone having kids until you are in 30's . For career minded, 20's are important to establish oneself in the field of choice and get in the position one wants. Being financialy secure, one can give the best to the kids in their 30's and afford to stay home for few years.

Thats what a lot of women are doing these days but we are yet to see if this will lead to a new type of psychological problem in the society some years down the line...

• age difference in parents and kids
• pressure on parents on verge of retirement when the kids are still in college...
• No grandparents to take care of the next breed of grandkids😭

Just some random thoughts...😛

Having kids before you establish in the career would entail postponing professional dreams or be content with with just being able to work.
I say enjoy the kids, they grow up too fast.!!!!

Originally posted by: TallyHo

Originally posted by: mythili_Kiran

😕If men can deliver babies and even then they are forcing only women to deliver (only on the pretext of not sending their wives to Office)then we should really wonder why men are not doing sacrifices!!!

Originally posted by: lighthouse

Yup...thats hitting the nail on the head!!...like I said my post is about the dilemmas that start after one has taken the decision to be a career woman!

I have been reading all the postings. My posting is a view from the other side.

I am a stay at home MOM. This is my choice to be home for my child. It was a hard decision to make when you see most women working. But one thing doesnt suit all . I do believe women have to be financially independent and well educated. I have a MSc degree but my situation is different.

My husband works on the WALL street and has to put long hours. Its a high stress environment for him. So I decided it was not practical for me to get a job with my share of stress. Finally we have learnt the ART of living on ONE SALARY. We have to wait longer for buying things. But atleast one of us is less stressed. My child now feels she is lucky to have a Mom at home. She values the fact that I am at home only for her. I am looking forward to starting work as soon as she becomes old enough to stay at home by herself.

I have to admit that I do get "YOU ARE SO LUCKY" comments all the time. I don't see myself lucky I think my priorities are different thats all. Its a decision I made . And I have no regrets about it.
I grew up in MUMBAI and never ever thought I would be a stay at home Mom. But one has to do what one thinks is right. This is my decision and I am happy do it. For all working MOMS all I say is you made a decision just make sure you are happy about it. Do what you think is right.. And you will be fine.

👏👏👏 for all working MOMS.