Improper upbringing responsible for the development of a Rapist-mind?

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BirdieNumNum

@CuckooCutter7

Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

#51

😆😆Ok, I like my drink as much as the next guy but even I have to admit that the entire concept of "responsible drinking" is an oxymoron. Dinking -mpairs one's judgment, makes one shed inhibitions. Booz is concocted precisely to make one become irresponsible, so duh. :)

The other oxymoron is mommy teaching billy about short dresses. So she is supposed to figure out the right way to educate her kid. Buddy, most pople are so stupid as to need simple instructions to even find the nearest pub, and we think we can impart more nuanced ideas? Kidding, right? :)

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373577

Suspended

Posted: 11 years ago

#52

Lets face it. Some people are beyond any teaching or learning. They are pests and will remain a pest till their last breath. The only sensible thing to do is to keep as much a distance as possible from them. Either stay away from them or put them away from harm's way"behind bars. Waving a red cloth before a bull does not sound like a sane thing to do. I may have every legal and moral right to do it but should I? If due to some reason I feel compelled to do it would it be better to have chaperones or would it be more liberating to do it all by myself? What should be my mother's advice to me? I guess ideally the bull has no business to be let loose on the roads. It should belong to a zoo. An expert matador might succeed in taming it but until then it might be worthwhile to be safe than sorry. Each to his/her own. Hail liberty.

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

Stunner

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: zorrro
Lets face it. Some people are beyond any teaching or learning. They are pests and will remain a pest till their last breath.

We are not talking about reforming rapists or cold criminals here.

A good portion of human behavior is nurture. We are discussing how we can address nurture which is within our hands. It is not just about rape but other issues in society like chauvinism, misogyny, abusive behavior we can address. This nurture is not just for men, but all people equally.

Originally posted by: zorrro
The only sensible thing to do is to keep as much a distance as possible from them. Either stay away from them or put them away from harm's way"behind bars. Waving a red cloth before a bull does not sound like a sane thing to do. I may have every legal and moral right to do it but should I? If due to some reason I feel compelled to do it would it be better to have chaperones or would it be more liberating to do it all by myself? What should be my mother's advice to me? I guess ideally the bull has no business to be let loose on the roads. It should belong to a zoo. An expert matador might succeed in taming it but until then it might be worthwhile to be safe than sorry. Each to his/her own. Hail liberty.

Human society is not a bull ring. Humans are not wild untamed beasts. We live in a civilized society. We have learned to curb our animal instincts and behave socially. Every adult human being is a result of shaping by parents, guardians and society. Why dismiss the importance of education and the social conditioning that teaches us to be human? Why dismiss opportunities to be better as a society than we are?

If despite good education and social conditioning people still turn into wild beats then by all means catch them, cage them, punish them or even execute them.

The fact is that society can and will benefit from social awareness and informing people to behave better.

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373577

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Posted: 11 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: return_to_hades

A good portion of human behavior is nurture. We are discussing how we can address nurture which is within our hands. It is not just about rape but other issues in society like chauvinism, misogyny, abusive behavior we can address. This nurture is not just for men, but all people equally. [/QUOTE]

@ bold- thats better 😆

Its easy to lay the responsibility of nurture with the parents. But what kind of parents do you think are going to be upto that responsibility. It takes a lot of patience, commitment and love to do that. With some parents themselves being unsure whether they want their kids and spouses in their lives or not who takes on that onus of nurturing? The state/ adoption centres/ social workers? Perhaps the schools---but then how much can we really expect from the teachers or the system who dont seem bothered nor capable of protecting innocent children against hardened bullies in school !?

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Human society is not a bull ring. Humans are not wild untamed beasts. We live in a civilized society. We have learned to curb our animal instincts and behave socially.

Have we ? 🤓

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Every adult human being is a result of shaping by parents, guardians and society. Why dismiss the importance of education and the social conditioning that teaches us to be human? Why dismiss opportunities to be better as a society than we are?

In that case we need to consider what exactly is the better conditioning. On one hand we encourage self indulgence and on the other we expect restraint from the same people.. Not every person is wise enough to know when to stop. Add alcohol and perhaps drugs and also the visual impact of movies and we have an explosive problem on our hands. People who have been used to succumbing to every sensory need and its justification can hardly be expected to pull back later on. It hardly ever works that way. It takes some training and discipline to practice restraint. It cannot be confined to one gender alone. Children learn what they see. Parents have to practice what they preach.

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
The fact is that society can and will benefit from social awareness and informing people to behave better.

True but the problem as I see it is that there is no consensus on what constitutes "better behaviour". 😊

Edited by zorrro - 11 years ago

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@twila

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#55

Even men from well to do families can do this crime. I'm guessing that a boy whose parent's gave him every possible luxury and pampered him and spoilt him completely is as capable of committing rape as a boy who was denied any pleasure or luxury in childhood due to being from a poor background with abusive parents. As for a boy listening to his mother talk badly about girls in exposive clothing, I don't think that manufacturer's his brain into believing that girl's like that need to be punished so terribly. It's basically on the child, not the way he was brought up. The path can go either way. An unprivileged child from a poor background can be in inspired to work hard and get what his parent's were not able to for him himself. Or, he can simply grow up to be an abusive adult like his parent's and remain at his level and learn to inflict such crime's upon women. A boy from an upper-class family may make use of his privileges and achieve a good education and a fulfilling childhood and grow up to be a successful and respectable adult. Or, he could simply let his parent's spoil him and grow up and blow off their money and rape women for the fun of it.

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983175

Suspended

Posted: 11 years ago

#56

Upbringing is without a doubt a contributing factor in building a child's mindset/personality...

I do agree that whatever parents/elders do or say leaves an imprint on the child.

Now that being said, it is important to point out that it is just a "contributing" factor but a lot of it depends on the individual itself..each one of sees & perceives things differently..and this difference largely determines each individual's course of action in an event..each one of us has a basic nature of our own which our surroundings only help to develop But what one does with his life is ultimately his own decision ...

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Rini

@-bLEu98-

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

#57

In the Indian context. two factors:-

1. family.

If a boy grows up seeing that his mother, sister and female members of the family have a secondary status compared to the men, he'll consider women as inferior and beneath him. Especially if he sees an abusive father and a submissive mother. He'll begin to believe that women are sexual objects after all. Because we must realise that rape is about power after all, NOT sex.

2. society

The caste/class discrimination in the society more than often give rise to rapists, sexual offenders. Rapists are not aliens from a different planet. They are the byproduct of our dysfunctional society. If a man, say belonging to a poor family who has been at the receiving end mostly, wants to assert his machismo, his warped out notion of power, he chooses a woman to impose it on, because women and children are the most vulnerable in a social pecking order.

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