Feminism...Wht do u think?

I always wondered why Feminism or Feministic thoughts are sort of unaccepted in south-asian societies... Men and Women are equal, Why don't societies understand this simple logic!!??

Why do woman are always becoming a victim of physical abuse? (e.g. the karo-kari post) Is her status lower than that of a man? Why do we always generalize woman and judge them to be the "fault causer" in most situations,even where she is not?

Why women have to struggle for their basic rights... why not men have to do that?? Why do men enjoy so many easiness in basic rights for themselves? .. Why do we have male-dominated societies... How can we alter that narrow thinking.. ?? Why so many restriction on woman, "she should do this, she shouldn't do that...That profession to choose.. that to not.." .. Why there is an image of women to be the "Society's Good Girl"?????

Along with that... Do feministic organizations help women to rise above the situations or not??? If some org does that..why they are looked down in doing so that "Ahh its a feminism organization... they just form to make headlines and fame" Is this perception true??

Define wht u think feminism is?

Woman vulnerable condition is not only in developing countries but also in developed countries... Have woman evolved or not at the basic common woman level?

Ur comments.

I think it's simple. Power of strength. Whoever is stronger physically or financially tries to suppress the weaker. Men are physically stronger then females and that's how all civilization evolved if we look at the history. And in South Asian countries it is both physical and financial. Men are usually bread earner for the family and women are responsible for taking care of household side. Lot of women in India are still financially dependant on men be it father, husband or son. Therefore these country are still Male Dominated.

These days, trend is changing slowly. Slowly, but we are getting there. Women have started getting out of house and started being independent. If you see divorce percentage have increased lately compared to before. Women do not want to tolerate any suppression anymore. However, it will take time. They are taught by their parents when they grow that when you get married, listen to your husband. If you are too outspoken they ask you to be content and not raise your voice before your dad or your husband. That is part of our culture too. There is nothing wrong in getting "adjusted" so small issues and suppression in life, but anything major that women have to suffer is common. Like hitting wives and making them work is common in labor class. Also suppression women for dowry in lot of community is still prevelant in India.

I had a friend who did love marriage with a guy from Bihar. My friend was originally from MP. After year, her husband started abusing her and hitting her for sake of money and jewelry. She was cheated for her wealth. Now this girl, got divorce and came back to her family. She was pregnant and had a baby. That guy does not want a baby and her mother hate her now (she does not have a father) as she is burden to them for rest of their life now. Now living alone renting apartment with a child in India is not that easy for common person. Education fees, living cost compared to regular salary is not that easy as we think. Therefore, she has to bear all the abuse by her mom and brother and his wife for sake of her living? Atleast she was not beaten like by her husband. If she were in some developed country like US it would be easy for her to face society, raise her kid (sending in free public school), work, and rent apartment. These are some basic things that make our society male dominated and hard for female to raise their voice.

Yes, as you said there are women in vulnerable condition in developing or developed countries too, but their level of suppression is less than in south asian countries. It will take time to change this mentality. When parents will raise their "boys" telling them it's ok to help in household chores and his sister is equally loved and part of this wealth that boy will grow up respecting women and eventually wife in future.

It is mor elike mind set.
From childhood it is drilled that as a women you have to be under your parents then husband and then kids.
But it is women you can come out of it. Like the case of your friend./ Yes the man cheated her and left her alone with the kid but did she file a complain????? i know it is hard to fight specially need money. but there are some that are appointed by court. You just have to find a right one and right association. Even if you loose so what..atleast you tortured the guy for some time by pulling him to court. Women has to learn to fight back. If a men hits her..be tough. Or just wait for right opportunity to get even. Here in US it is easy as you can just call cop and the man is behind the bar right away. it is shame to say that some women take advantage of that too and some innocent men get victim. But still the ratio is too less for such cases.

Bottom line..mostly a lady is against a lday..Saas, Bahu, Nanad, Devrani, jethani...if they all satrt working together then no man has a power to fight them.
Homes where all ladies respect, love & support each other , man has no say in there and there is peace in the house too.
My 2 cents

Yes, it is important when women start helping other women. And Women will have to play major role to change this society. And that's what I am saying. You have to raise your "boys" with that mentality. Mother in India are seen spoiling their boys. I have a friend here inUS who won't let her 7 yr son lift his dinner place. Just 'coz he is boy he is special. This is rediculous. We have women who impose on having "male child" when women is pregnant..such a shame. And you are right, women have to help themselves for sure. They ahve to raise their boys with this believe about respecting and treating women equal.

About my friend. Not sure if she complained. She was a friend from college and I am not in touch with her on regular. I came to know about this when I visited India last year.

Yes Sowmyaa..every training starts from home & school and then society. Not only respect women but even for youth going to western culture and all..it has to stop in family level first. (AND MEDIA...TV has to stop so many nonsense shows) If you do not encourage that since childhood then kids will not get influenced
Totally agree 👏

Bottom line..mostly a lady is against a lday..Saas, Bahu, Nanad, Devrani, jethani...if they all satrt working together then no man has a power to fight them.
Homes where all ladies respect, love & support each other , man has no say in there and there is peace in the house too.
My 2 cents

This is so true. even though years of brainwashing about certain rules and regulations in male dominating society occured; ulitimately women made sure that all these rules were passed on from generation to generation. sometimes woman's greatest enemy is another woman. Why can't Saas be with her daughter in law? Why see her as an alien entity? Many of the rituals were developed by men, but ultimately over the years, women made sure that these rituals were properly carried through. For example, cutting hair after marriage was a popular ritual in India. It was carried and forced on a woman by their mother in laws and other women from neighborhood.

Hi MNMS
this is really a very good topic for debate, although it has been disussed million times here and there.
women are not only sufferers physically and mentally in south asian countries , my friend. women suffer allover the world. only the formats change.
poor women suffer physically , wome in rich and sophisticated families suffer in subtle and sophisticated ways, women in poor countries suffer in theri inh laws houses and women in so called developed countires suffer in their offices in terms of low pay, in their houses by thier partners.almost everywhere in the world women suffer in some way or other.

why do they suffer?

let us think in a different way. actually everywhere we are seeing male-domnated society. there are two kinds of male domnated society. firstly which we see everywhere as partriarchal society, means male headed household and secondly matrilinial soceity. in some parts of the world like in some areas of africa, we see it but remember it is not matriarchal society. but female headed house hold does not ensure power of women in families.everywhere women are dominated by men.

why does this happen?

it is the wonderful power of women which has always been the enemy of women.i am talking about her power of bearing child.in the initial days of civilisation due to this power women were considered to be the most respected and powerful creature of human society. men were physically strong but they could not give birth to any child.so men have always wanted to get control over these most powerful and wonderful creatures of earth, namely woman.

wiht the initiation fo state and capitalism, concept of private propeety emerged. a powerful man couyld easily capture capital with his muscle power. but how could he be sure that his property would goto his own child after his death if he would not be sure who his own child is. man have never been able to know that. who could know that? yes, woman. so to be sure that this is his own son /daughter what else could he do than to mark his own women only for him. so came the concept of marriage, that means marking a woman that she is his woman only and making it sure that she would not do sex with any other man. in this way his property rights will surely go to his siblings.
and with this idea of mariage came other ideas, like fidelity/infidelity, good girl/bad girl etc etc. all those ways just weapons to keep her confined in home to make sure the property right. men had all those liberties which women did not have. and why not? men do not give birth to any child ? why would society care for his sex life outside his home?
women had to be homely, caring, nursing etc etc. outer world is not woomen's world. it is men's world.
soceity created certtain concepts which it calls feminine qualities, and certain concepts which it calls masculine qualities. all and these qualities are only for ensuring property rights to future generation.

time has come that women think about it. to be feminist or not to be feminist is not the question. some people whom call themselves feminist do not even realise what they want to do. feminism is only a word. anybody can think about betterment of women. this is actually necessary.it does not require to join a group called feminist group.we have to clear our ideas of true liberty and empowerment at first and then go for it.
ecomonic power is necessary for women to be powerful. but it is only necessary not sufficient. sometimes earning money ois not enough. women have internalised some ageold beliefs in their minds which comes in their way fo being free.they do not even realise whether they are free or not.so one has to think about it always. she has to ask herself what she wants really and whether she is happy turely in her present state of life. any kind of rigidity in mind is against modernity. modern person is he/she who is free from any kind of mental rigidity. thinking in this way helps a person to be free and to achieve what he/she wants.

Thanks Rumi... This was an extremely burning issue inside me plus i realized that this topic should be discussed with full focus on a post... 😊..I agree with u what u said abt the child bearing ability of woman and its misuse... the history is full of such silly customs... And if she is not able to do that .. she is considered useless... is she just a Patent child producing machine that if can't work, Just abandon her!!!!😡 That even happens in this 21st century.....GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Originally posted by: Dazlingflower

. sometimes woman's greatest enemy is another woman. Why can't Saas be with her daughter in law? Why see her as an alien entity? Many of the rituals were developed by men, but ultimately over the years, women made sure that these rituals were properly carried through.

DF, It is the insecurity of an orthodox woman which speaks out at such situations ... The MIL (mother-in-law) thinks that after her life full of sacrifices her son which is now having a wife will not support her anymore whether its physical, mental or financial... so this insecurity eventually comes out in the form of torturing the bahu to suppress her b4 she can even think of making the man against his mother... whether the bahu's intentions are focused on that or not... MIL starts to make a fortress around her to keep herself safe. And i see the man culprit of all this situation... HE is not able to balance the relationships of a son and a husband... loser!!!😡.

I agree with all of u abt the brainwashing of females and their suppression... but tell me... Shouldn't they now fight back as Swar_Raj said.... she is tolerating all this for centuries..its too much ... so much of suppression for woman that it literally suffocates at times to see woman being victim for ridiculous issues.... There must be some way out... Women are humans..EQUAL TO MEN!! .. why do people forget that... i literally hate that "Society's Good Girl" image... why do people have build a mold for her and want her to fit into that 100% Even if her own self doesn't allow her to do that..Can't she lead the life of her own... Man is given one life so he enjoys it... Woman is also given the only one life.. so if she wishes to have from it wht she wants to have.. then the society comes forward to play their role as the villain... e.g. professions... like lawyer... OMG people make so much of fuss at this..like ooohhh she's gonna b a lawyer... start to discourage her... even in the family ... the family members don't permit her to choose a profession where she is quite suitable, talented and can excel with flying colours... 😡... Again there is this mind set of people to ALLOT some careers like teaching, medicine, etc by giving silly arguments that it is safe for a woman.. Rubbish!!! Utter nonsense!!

I personally used to think initially that its the education which may take woman out of the whirlpool of victimization... that doesn't work as the ultimate solution... then i think that it is the Career excellence and Financial independence that may help her to rise above.... but still its seems like its gonna take time ... Sowmyaa di is right .. it is the home where all the traditions, teaching of moral values and concepts take place.. we do have that Boy-Girl discrimination in our societies.. and that leads to further pressure on woman... Uneducated people increase their number of children just for the sake of having a son as their "Nasal ko badhane wala"!! That eventually increases the population plus the health of woman effects badly..even results in deaths..... then there is the female fetus abortion => a serious crime... then if they are blessed with a baby boy.. then the gender discrimination starts at home... then at school.. then in the society... As a result girl looses her confidence ...and then her problems faced by her in-laws ......... WHT is this all going on???!!!!!!!! 😡... Does this vicious cycle has any end or NOT!!!??? To top it all.. add the male chauvinists .. who are merely stone- headed creatures stuffed with blotted egos!!😡 🤢

For me Feminism is not just a movement .. but an internal voice of a woman for her dignity for HERSELF... If she thinks that she is proud of herself for she is a woman... then let the world bow b4 her to accept her dignity, her immensely high status.. We have to develop that... We have to inject such pride and self-esteem to our girls that they should stand for themselves.. proove themselves.. break the walls and the forts ... just go ahead and speak for themselves as being PROUD WOMEN!!!

And then on the positive side..Women have left behind their Male counterparts in various fields .. Be it the corporate world, law.. medicine.. sports .. pilots... accountancy...science.. economists... bank owners... fashion designers.. U name it !!!! Percentages of different surveys show the immense growth in different fields by Women... they leave their glorified footprints everywhere....

Men can't suppress the 50%+ population as they have been going in the past..They will be loosers if they continue their backward mindset in this century... time has changed... it has to change and it will change further for the betterment of WOMANHOOD by the WOMEN for the WOMEN together!!!!😃

add the male chauvinists .. who are merely stone- headed creatures stuffed with blotted egos!!

you are right MNMS!

i have met many of such male chauvinists who are my collegues in my college. when we discuss about women's rights they take part in it and pretend to be very very liberal.and as usual they love to flirt with female collegues like us. if you go to see how they treat their wives in their homeyou will see tht these socalled pregressive melaes like to keep their wives confined within house , who would not work outside their houses and will not even mix up with other people and always cook good food for them and take care of their family members.some people are so much chauvinistic that they even do not allow their wives to come to the parties in fear of us. they fear that seeing us, working independent women if their wives also want to live like us, what will happen then? their peaceful lives will be shattered na!!!

wow...great points maryam, sowmya di and rumi di....im not as articulate..so all i can say is

GIRL POWER!!!! 😆 😆 😆