Originally posted by: MS.ATTITUDE
Dear aparna, In islam a man is allowed to marry 4 times bt under several restrictions n wid lots of responsibilites n he is answerable b4 ALLAH for da rights of his wives n as far as perdah is concerned perda means a woman shd cover her head n her body n u can do dat wid chaddar or burqa or scraf or wateva u lyk bt yes , purdah is compulsory n it is 4 da benefit of da women n all those muslim women who observe perdah I appreciate them bt perdah means proper perdah nt jus wearing scarf for da sake of fashion as in Islam women rnt allowd to wear see through or v tight clothes, as neeyaton ka haal ALLAHMIYAN janty hain .
Yes i am aware of what the religon says - Islam and Mormon Christians both. As i have read several books on the subject .
But we know in todays stressfull life it is impossible to do justice to a marriage if you have more than one woman/man in your marriage . A couple work hard together to meet their financial needs and also emotional needs . While a man in a polygamous relationship can not be fair to either of the woman he has taken in as his bride . A polygalous relationship is all fun for a man ............but is very unfair on a woman . Why must a woman share her husband , emotionally , physically , financially with other women ?
Imagine a man that doesn't have a seperate quarter to give his wives , and they all have to share one room or one house . How much will a woman apperciate her husband being intimate with his other wife ??
How many Muslim women will come out and say honestly( not for the sake of winning an argument please) that they look forward to marriage with a man that will never be theirs 100% ........but may be 50% , 34% , or 25% only (depending on how many wives that man has).
Why must a woman wait for her turn on the nightly rooster when her husband will come and spend the night with her every 5th night, when her turn comes ???? Doesn't she have physical , emotional needs just like the man ?
A woman is a very senstive , emotional being , why must she endure her man giving love to another woman .
It is said that a man in a polygamous relationship must be equal and fair to all his wife and if he is not he has to answer to Allah .Yes, i am aware of that so this can not be used as a justification as it doesn't work in reality !!
But human being by nature can not help being just a little partial towards even their one of the children , so how can one expect that the man will be 100% impartial to all his wife where giving "love" is concerned. A mother that has 4 kids , she can't help favouring one of them , as he is weaker , or very bright or for some reason . So how can a man be fair to all his wives in reality ?????
Isn't polygamy a method to subjugate woman ??? Shouldn't it be outlawed as this rule favours only men ...........not women at all ??
Any Muslim gal out there , plz be honest to your self and tell us are you looking forward to being one of the 3rd or 4th wife of a man ???
How does polygamy benifit a woman ??? I can see how much it benifits a man though.
Hope i didn't upset any one . But i am a feminist and feel no law, religous rule should be there that hurts or subjugates women.
Whether we are talking about sati , dowry,ghunghat ,purdah or polygamy or the talq that can be given easily,or honor killing etc etc . All of these don't benifit women ......they only benifit men in the society.
We , women should stand together and challenge any law or religous belief that benifits only man and subjugates a woman.
Edited by Aparna_BD - 19 years ago
Kumkum Bhagya
Anupamaa
