Posted:
Originally posted by: gadhadada
at last after 5 Night Continuous Try with Break...i read the whole Stuff...No Doubts, its Sach mein a very Very (heavy Breathing) LOOONNN Story Junior...Pure 19 chapters the FF me..😉.Lovely emojis...reminds me of my own halat during exams...kya sach me yehi halat hui thi...😆😉khair, Next time when U will Post any of Your Story from FF Forum...Plz Splits it Baccha...😊😊😊I did post only a part of it but then posted d rest before getting gayab...sorry for making u do a lot of mehnat n seizing ur raaton ki neend for reading this...😆😉hmmm... Now about Story...😉😉Ahan...!!As after this, U wrote More Classy so My FB would have Some Critical Views...😈😎Awww...Hope U take it Positively...👍🏼👍🏼Haan pakka...😛The Plot or say Theme Both are Quite Nice Junior...👏👏Shukriya...😳the Start was so Thrilling as it Grabbed the Reader in First Scene...⭐️⭐️⭐️aaty Sath hee Murder...😆😆Second Scene also Appealing...⭐️⭐️⭐️again Murder...😉😉Kahaa...😲Bas attempt to murder na...😳I Loved the Straight Decisions of Daya Sir without Wasting time...👏👏Goli maarne wala...?😕😲Loved the Emotions of Queries U Portrayed in Abhijeet Sir who Posture...⭐️⭐️My Abhi sir na...😳then, Team Arrival and reaching Hospital...👍🏼👏Lovely Presentation of All Team Concern...👏👏👏Daya Sir Appearance was Good...👍🏼👏Honestly, after Teasing, This Turns of Emotions by Daya Sir U Portrayed Extremely Well Baccha...⭐️⭐️⭐️Hats Off to U...⭐️again Attempt to Murder...😉😉😉Loved Quick BackUp...👏👏I Like that ACP Sir started Doubting over Daya Sir after Nurse Statement...👏👏but Somehow its must be More Strong...🤔🤔Hmmm...junior's writing is not so strong na...aur pehle to...😒Then Searching of Daya Sir House...👍🏼👏Nice Idea and got the Blank Chq with Sign which got by Cop easily showing that Daya Sir giving Clues to His Team...😉😉I Like the Idae of Doubting here and ACP Sir comment to Paste it again on Same place...👏👏after that Transaction of Money on Daya Sir Account...😲😲Somehow, I m Not Accepting that TJI on Her Behalf gave that Diary to Abhijeet Sir...Pucho mat...I skip these chapters now...🥱basically it was an Evidence and No Officer should do such thing...😲😲I dunt like that Idea...👎🏼😳Me too...don't like it now...Its Better that U showed that after Trying to Read Dairy, Cops found nothing, Telling ACP Sir to that who said this to Abhijeet Sir as Usual when Meet Him and He said kay " Sir, agar Wo kisi Kaam ki nahi ya Case sy Related nahi tou kya Mujhy Mil skti hay" then ACP Sir gave it to Him...😳😳Ahan...!! Good idea...😃Daya Sir Searching and Arresting was Nice...👏👍🏼Pakar hi liya...😆😉😆his Cheekh Cheekh kay Kehna... OK...👍🏼👍🏼Overdramatic, to be precise...hai na...😆😆backBiting, a bit Good...😆😆FW copied from me, I think...😆😉i dunt like to Reveal that CODE part through TJI without Solid background...Phir TJi...😆Its Better that U showed kay during Reading, Dairy fell on Floor of Hospital, Nurse gave it back to Abhijeet Sir who see that Picture coming out Slightly so Tell Nurse to bring GUM stick and when trying to Paste that Picture, got the Code...😉😉Again good one...👍🏼Wesy ye Code ka Idea, Kahein aur sy Milna tha... matlab Kuch Likha hona tha.. Ye tou Accidental way pr Mila magar jub Aap kisi ko Information dena chahty hain tou ye Zehn mein rakhty hain kay Clue Specific ho aur aisy Areas ya Points ko Cover karay jo Visible hun, ya Habit ka Hissa...😳😳such Accidental Codes koi nahi deta...🤔🤔Point hai boss...🤔why TJI Hide that Chemical News was again a Big Shock without any Reason...😲😲😲Phir se TJi...I Like that U showed that Abhijeet Still Believe on His Frnd...😳👏WO toh hona hi tha...😃The whole Investigation regarding ABC Company was Excellent with Two Doubts...Junior ka dialogue h ye to...😆jub Company band thi tou Abhijeet Sir Kis kay Office gaye thy...😕😕kya Old office jo band ho gaya tha...?😕😕ABC alag company thi...and Abhijeet sir went to a transport company for interrogation, notTHAT company...😊Second that Mouse Track ball Idea...awww, Munna Pallot, I m still using Track ball wala Mouse...😆😆Oh...actually after my 3rd or 4th class, I never saw that...abb to sab lappy use kerte h na...isiliye nhi pata tha...😳khair again accidental Revealing...🥱🥱i like if Track ball Struck and when Abhijeet Sir trying to See that Track ball, feel a Small paper kinda Stuff and then Open it and taking out the password...😳😉😉Chotu's chotu brain was even more chotu that time na...Ideas thore kam the...😆U now fast the pace of Story...👏👏BTW, Abhijeet sir Doubt on Sherya was Awesome...⭐️i Loved His Thoughts in front of TJI with Valid One...👏Finally...😆although I m Not Convinced that ACP Sir went with Sherya (such a Junior) to Daya Sir Cell...🤔😳Cid don't show her that junior...there r many who call her as mam...🤔The Doubts on ACP Sir was Coompletely Baseless...👎🏼👎🏼Tumharay 4/6 aisay points denay thay jahan Un pr Doubt karnay kay Ilawa Chara nahi hota...there U Loose a Big gap...😭😭😭Hmmm...acha...😔Like the Morphed Video idea...👍🏼👍🏼but dunt know, Why Daya Sir was So Scared...😡😡Because the writer wanted him to be...😛😉The Informers Idea was Brilliant...⭐️even that Whole part was Awesome and Classy...⭐️u really handled it Awesomely...⭐️Yepiee...tareef...😃Abhijeet Sir back in his Sharp Shine avtar was Excellent...⭐️⭐️the Meeting with Daya Sir was Good...👏👏Oh really...😲PM me ek secret batati hu...😉Freddie Sir Support was Nice...😳👏👏Nice Discussion about Helping Undercover Agent Idea...👏👏Call Details...👏👏PCO use...👏👏Auto Driver...👏👏But if Autodriver said that Route was so Narrow so he cant able to Move His Auto... then Goons moved to ACP Sir aside and talk to Him... tou wo Bike mein tou jayein gy na.. Phir Us nay Auto kesy Nikal liya, Usi Narrow Route sy...😉In the conversation between Freddy and Abhijeet after interrogating the man who met ACP sir, it was cleared that auto can be passed through that road as it was not that road...normally, auto drivers manage to take auto into narrow roads like lanes of an old society or city...its not a big vehicle and thus can run in such places...End was marvelous...⭐️⭐️⭐️that whole Fight...⭐️⭐️⭐️Planning...⭐️including Police...⭐️Rajat sir Role...⭐️⭐️⭐️WOW... WOW...WOW...⭐️The Motive was Good...👏👏i Like why Jagga wanted to Kill Abhijeet Sir in that way...👏👏That Flashback was Stunning and Classy...⭐️Nice Finishing...👏😃👏Hai na...😉Somehow, the Story Lost its Charm in middle Portion...🥱🥱🥱U really spoiled some Brilliant Scene with Messing up them included TJI and Abhijeet Sir UNNEEDED Romance...🤢🤢🤢Hawww...romance?? kab!!??😲😲😲I admit mujhe uss waqt TJi se koi problem nhi thi n that's why I gave her some space in my story (Jane kyu) but romance.🤢.na baba na...in chizo se bacche ko door hi rakho...I just tried to show them as good friends...😳Ye story abhi likhti to itna bhi nhi kerti...😡I knew, it was Limited but I dunt Like it as it showed Unseriousness in Both Behaviour...🤢Try to show Every Emotion in Balanced way especially when U are writing INVESTIGATIVE...😃😃Hmmm...adding points to my brain data...😆U completely Messed Up Abhijeet Sir Character in Most of Scene showing Him Crying and Crying...🤢it was looking Completely Odd...if U saw, FW never showed Him Weak and such easy Tear Breaker...Except Behropiya One Scene, U always found Him Composed either its Sr. Inspector Abhijeet, Daya ka Dewali Dhamaka, Khatre mein Daya etc...😃😃😃but in Daya Sir case, U found He was easily started crying although its Satara wala Epi... Injured Witness, Missing Bullet, Abhijeet Ka Inteqaam etc...😃😃😃Character exchange...😆😉Actually I was influenced by some stories that time...and on screen stries too show too much drama and Rona dhona these days...and as it was the first time I was writing something serious+emotional, I didn't try to change that much as I do now...😒u showed Unneeded Crying, Scaring of Daya Sir in Cell after First Meeting, Salunkhy Sir even Sherya too...🤢Yes, Ur Sentences really Remarkable...⭐️that Murghy wala...⭐️Sachin ki Daant wala...⭐️Rajat Sir ko...⭐️Freddie Sir ko...⭐️its Completely Wonderful Track...⭐️Thenku...😳Always Move Fast in Investigative cz it Gripped the Reader...😳👏👏dunt Drag Scenes either make it Crisp...😳👍🏼dunt add so many Characters...😉👍🏼Be Precised etc...😃👏Is story me Jo mai confuse hui, as it was written over a time, or more correctly, a time period of more than 5 months...😆 After that, I try to add only a limited edition of characters in every story...😆😆I m Really Sorry but I knew that U take it in Positive...😃👍🏼Ji zaroor...😛khair as Ur First Investigative Stuff...😃😃it was Brilliant...⭐️⭐️⭐️baaqi ab tou mashaALLAH Junior Buht Shandaar Likhta hay...😳⭐️⭐️tou koi Ghum Nahi...😉😉Haan ye wala statement acha tha sab se...thora aur milega plz...😉a Big Thank You so much Baccha... 😳Thank u too for reviewing...😳🤗And this time bina copying...koshish to ki hogi, kyu...😉
In nutshell, u did not like any scene related to TJi...😉🤣
DUO to khair maine hi gayab ker diya...🥺
Ye to mai bhi kehti hu ki agar yahi story aaj likhti mai to isme bahut kuch different hota...balki there r a lot of scenes jinhe mai omit kerna chahti hu...much mai add kerna chahti hu...but Jo likh diya to likh diya...first story to hunesha first hi rahegi...😳
Veer Hanuman
Anupamaa
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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