~DEMONSINGH'S CORNER~ CID IPL Special Part 1 (Page 24)

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#41

First a Big Congrats about Posting a Combine Effort of DEMONSINGH (DEMANSTAR and POORVISINGHCD)...👏

Second Extremelly Very Sorry to give My Feedback not only Belated but Xtra Belated...

Now Come to My Review, I read it with little Care and caution as I know the Merger of a Senior and Junior aspect here...😉

I really like the Plot, the Best thing that U gives the True feelings of a Young Girl who just Want to come in Toppers at any Cost or by any means but at Last Moment, His Inners comes in Concious mode and Protects Her to fell on a Hell...👏👏👏

Both of U really watched DHOOM😆 before that but I really love the Stunt👏, just One Confusion😕, why PURVI did not trying to Bursts the Bus Tire with Her Gun Shot, because of a Terror that the Bomb blast due to Jerk or anything...🤔

The Low Intensity Blast at Professor CONRAD was Ok but after getting the SMS at Her Cell, why PURVI did not snatch anyone Cell, FREDDIE was there, Constables was there, Ciivilians around there like She ggot the Bilke from a Civilian...😕

Somehow I did not like that Sharp Shooter Attitude, arry ek Thapper mein Deh gaya...😡

I really enjoyed that MOUNT CHRESTEA whole incident with that Fake Nerve Gas spills by VICKY and that Quillas 👏 but why SHIPRA not asking about the Rest members, She had a Doubts na that there must be Some Backups...😕😕

SHIPRA character was Nice but She said that She got few bucks Salary and Her Father Treatment of Cancer was Out of Her Affordance so How She payed to that Sharp Shooter, Vicky and that Girl who Mimicked PURVI Voice...😕😕😕

I like it but Yes I must say Honestly, I did not Enjoyed it🤔... Something is Missing... the DEMONSTAR Flavour, the POORVISINGH Real dialogues and the little Low knots of Plot, except PURVI, no one take Part as well the Length really Shaky the mood of Reader...😳

I again Personally Apologize as I know its difficult to Write a Combine Production and I also Not meant that U lose the Trust on Each One and take a Long Break from that Combine Production just because of One and Only GD Feedback...

I wanted to Read a Blast from DEMONSINGH Return with a Huge Bang...👏⭐️👏

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misha.as

@misha.as

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: poorvisinghcd

Ye kya o.O
Sirf bhaiyaa ko credit :D 😛 😉

Sorry Poo I forget U 😔
thanks 4 the story...😊👍🏼

thanks for remining me my short term memory loss 😛 😉

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Ravi

@Jurassic_Shark

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#43

Thanks for your valuable feedback, everyone. Greatly appreciated. 😃

GD, many thanks once again for your unabashedly honest review and constructive criticism. We've considered all your points and will certainly keep them in mind to improve in our upcoming stories. 😊

A few thoughts regarding the questions you raised.

Originally posted by: gadhadada
just One Confusion😕, why PURVI did not trying to Bursts the Bus Tire with Her Gun Shot, because of a Terror that the Bomb blast due to Jerk or anything...🤔

Bus/truck tires are generally too thick to be effectively damaged by standard pistol bullets. You need a rifle or shotgun for that. And there's also the additional risk of the passengers panicking on seeing the bus being fired at, and doing something reckless.

The Low Intensity Blast at Professor CONRAD was Ok but after getting the SMS at Her Cell, why PURVI did not snatch anyone Cell, FREDDIE was there, Constables was there, Ciivilians around there like She ggot the Bilke from a Civilian...😕

On receiving the SMS, Purvi's first thoughts were for the safety of her teachers if they were being targeted. The threat was vague, and she did not know what exactly the reach of her enemy was. After the action progresses and she observes the other SMSes, she decides that taking another phone would be a safe course of action.

Somehow I did not like that Sharp Shooter Attitude, arry ek Thapper mein Deh gaya...😡

He was no professional. And aise-waison ke liye Purvi ka ek hi haath kaafi hai. 😉

I really enjoyed that MOUNT CHRESTEA whole incident with that Fake Nerve Gas spills by VICKY and that Quillas 👏 but why SHIPRA not asking about the Rest members, She had a Doubts na that there must be Some Backups...😕😕

True. But even if she did ask, Purvi would not be likely to say "Yes, I disobeyed your orders and brought backup". She kept her man as a lookout for this purpose, but didn't know about the CID's plans.

SHIPRA character was Nice but She said that She got few bucks Salary and Her Father Treatment of Cancer was Out of Her Affordance so How She payed to that Sharp Shooter, Vicky and that Girl who Mimicked PURVI Voice...😕😕😕

I think the fact that she abandons his treatment and sets out on this badla business is indicative of how damaged her psyche was. She had given up hope that her father would survive, and instead used whatever money she had gathered for this purpose.

I like it but Yes I must say Honestly, I did not Enjoyed it🤔... Something is Missing... the DEMONSTAR Flavour, the POORVISINGH Real dialogues and the little Low knots of Plot, except PURVI, no one take Part as well the Length really Shaky the mood of Reader...😳

I understand; even we feel we rushed though this one. I wrote about 4 chapters in less than an hour. 😆 Sorry for not living up to your expectations... we'll try better next time. 😊 @Bold - I do feel we gave ACP sir and our duo a sizable part in the plot, though.

I again Personally Apologize as I know its difficult to Write a Combine Production and I also Not meant that U lose the Trust on Each One and take a Long Break from that Combine Production just because of One and Only GD Feedback...
I wanted to Read a Blast from DEMONSINGH Return with a Huge Bang...👏⭐️👏

Please don't; we learn so much from you in this regard and cannot hope to improve without such fair criticism. 😊

@Bold - On that day, the sun will rise in the west and cows will fly. Aka, that's never going to happen. 😉 😆

Surely. Bas yehi hai apni dua, ek din padhne ko mile "Popat khush hua"!

😉 🤗

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: DemonStar
Thanks for your valuable feedback, everyone. Greatly appreciated. 😃
GD, many thanks once again for your unabashedly honest review and constructive criticism. We've considered all your points and will certainly keep them in mind to improve in our upcoming stories. 😊
A few thoughts regarding the questions you raised.

Bus/truck tires are generally too thick to be effectively damaged by standard pistol bullets. You need a rifle or shotgun for that. And there's also the additional risk of the passengers panicking on seeing the bus being fired at, and doing something reckless.

On receiving the SMS, Purvi's first thoughts were for the safety of her teachers if they were being targeted. The threat was vague, and she did not know what exactly the reach of her enemy was. After the action progresses and she observes the other SMSes, she decides that taking another phone would be a safe course of action.

He was no professional. And aise-waison ke liye Purvi ka ek hi haath kaafi hai. 😉

True. But even if she did ask, Purvi would not be likely to say "Yes, I disobeyed your orders and brought backup". She kept her man as a lookout for this purpose, but didn't know about the CID's plans.

I think the fact that she abandons his treatment and sets out on this badla business is indicative of how damaged her psyche was. She had given up hope that her father would survive, and instead used whatever money she had gathered for this purpose.

I understand; even we feel we rushed though this one. I wrote about 4 chapters in less than an hour. 😆 Sorry for not living up to your expectations... we'll try better next time. 😊 @Bold - I do feel we gave ACP sir and our duo a sizable part in the plot, though.

Please don't; we learn so much from you in this regard and cannot hope to improve without such fair criticism. 😊
@Bold - On that day, the sun will rise in the west and cows will fly. Aka, that's never going to happen. 😉 😆
Surely. Bas yehi hai apni dua, ek din padhne ko mile "Popat khush hua"!
😉 🤗

DEMONSTAR and POORVISING, First did not Mean to Hurt Both of U and DEMONSTAR U are such a Writer we or say I wanted to be like U, I wanted to have such Skills of Creative Work like U especially in Story Writing so a Little Error turn out to be a Big Loophole when come across in Ur Creative Work...😊

Dunt think that U Both did not give Excillent, Yes its an Excillent Effort but in My Viiew its Not BOTH of URS Best Short... thats I mean and plz Dunt say this that POPAT will Happy or Not...😊

arry POPAT Forum mein itnay saaray Taleented Logun ko dekh kr Khushi say Mota aur Ganja hota ja raha hay... 😳😃

Usy yaqeen hay jub wo Urr jayey ga tou Logun ko Entertain karny ki Responsibilities Buht Mazboot aur Deserving Kandhun pr day kay jayey ga...👏⭐️👏

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Ravi

@Jurassic_Shark

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: gadhadada
DEMONSTAR and POORVISING, First did not Mean to Hurt Both of U and DEMONSTAR U are such a Writer we or say I wanted to be like U, I wanted to have such Skills of Creative Work like U especially in Story Writing so a Little Error turn out to be a Big Loophole when come across in Ur Creative Work...😊
Dunt think that U Both did not give Excillent, Yes its an Excillent Effort but in My Viiew its Not BOTH of URS Best Short... thats I mean and plz Dunt say this that POPAT will Happy or Not...😊
arry POPAT Forum mein itnay saaray Taleented Logun ko dekh kr Khushi say Mota aur Ganja hota ja raha hay... 😳😃
Usy yaqeen hay jub wo Urr jayey ga tou Logun ko Entertain karny ki Responsibilities Buht Mazboot aur Deserving Kandhun pr day kay jayey ga...👏⭐️👏

Totally understood, not hurt at all. 😊 @Bold - that was genuine gratitude yaar. Har ek reader zaroori hota hai. 😃

Mota aur ganja? 😲 Oh God. Fikar not though. 😉 And popat not uding anywhere please. We love ya. 🤗

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SofiyaSam

@SofiyaSam

Navigator

Posted: 12 years ago

#46

Awesome story Ravi bro and poo 👏⭐️👏
very well written👏 👏
Great work...⭐️

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gadhadada

@gadhadada

Achiever

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: DemonStar

Totally understood, not hurt at all. 😊 @Bold - that was genuine gratitude yaar. Har ek reader zaroori hota hai. 😃

Mota aur ganja? 😲 Oh God. Fikar not though. 😉 And popat not uding anywhere please. We love ya. 🤗

Yup, Dunt underestimate the Power of DEMONSINGH...😉😆

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Srishti

@Srishti.

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#48

thank you soo much guys for those lovely comments! 😊😳

@GD dont worry tota ji agli baar poo baacha aur ravi bro apna best shot denge😃😃 ul love our next story😉

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Srishti

@Srishti.

Dazzler

Posted: 12 years ago

#49

Yup, Dunt undrestimate the Power of DEMONSINGH...😉😆

oh yeah!😃😆

thanks for the comment GDji😃

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mano86

@mano86

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#50

OMG !
i'v missed sooo many lovely stories on the forum !
but now ll try to make up for this..
n read this story for sure 😊
but time matters a lot
still ll try 😊

on having a combine production house
👍🏼