Adi Sir BDay STORY CONTEST -- **RESULTS on pg 16** - Page 9

Originally posted by: Shagnika

Only one person has sent in Marks to me ! What about others??

Patience 😛

Okay !! 😆 Lets see !!

Only 2 more days left !!! I have to read two more stories and write reviews for the remaining ones

2 days???? I can't read today. Can make some time tomm afternoon only. I have 3 more stories to read.

Finished reading story no 1.

I had some difficulty in understanding it because of the grammar. Request the writer to give some attention to this aspect.

However the story was very good. 😊 it was nice idea to take up the Zoravar track... 👏

Abhijeet remembering his past is tough to digest but we can assume that all his old friends have kept in touch with him and tried to tell him stuff about his past.

Then the thing about Daya's secret mission...was it linked to finding Zoravar's whereabouts? The reason why he was away was not clear. Maybe you could have connected it more clearly.

Overall I liked the story. Very nice attempt. You have some good ideas, so please try writing more stories.

Just started reading stories now with entry 7...will try my best to complete before deadline...

Entry 7 -
Finally completed one story !!!
I really like the way u used the plot of Serial Killings and last target Abhijeet sir 👏...thodasa hatdke !!! 👏
I said already really appreciating how u used Facebook...👏
I also like the details u used for appointment letter...👏
But duo aur facebook 😆 nice thought 😉
Story plot is very simple but still i enjoyed it...👏

"Abhijeet: Lagta hai maarne wala nahin chahta tha ki koi ise pehchaan sake. Salunkhe hi kuch bata sakte hain iske baare mein."
I think its due to small typing mistake...Abhijeet sir do not call Salunkhe sir by his name...

Story 3
Okie.. let me be frank... This is the 3rd time I am deleting the whole review and writing it again..

Everytime .. my remark was different... first it was..."good going".. the second time i wrote "Confusing story".. and this is the third time I am again writing the review.. and I would say...
"More than in written form.. I would love to see this story on screen" 😊

Actually your story also paces in the same way., Initially its good going.. then it gets a little confusing from Chapter 6... Now here I did a mistake.. I didn;t want to move forward without understanding what was happening. So i literally read Chpater 6.. three time.. and then..with a "confusing story" review comment.. i moved to chapter 7... There I felt there was some similarity between 6 and 7 which i still didn't understand.. or you can call me a dumb head that I couldnt understand what was happening...

Anyways.. you see at the end of the story.. there is some kind of nice feeling about how the story was actually structured.. its a nice feeling to see that so many threads going here and there were finally getting connected one by one at the end..😊

Your english actually made me feel that CID was investigating for NYPD 😆 even the names of the characters... 😆 although even that part you explained at the end 😊

Lots of research has been put in and it clearly shows... 👏 Great Job...

Story 4

I would say.. Its a nice simple Khooni story.. Totally the one which is perfect to be aired as a part of the show. 😊 You brought in the concept of death lilly... 👏 and nice to see someone research for the story in this domain rather than the technology side 😈 and also made Tji make a mistake 😆 Bechaari..

I think you are a new writer.. and if you are .. then I would say. ... keep going with your stories... and please don;t let your research for story get distracted or diverted by people here😈 (including me😛) keep your story research on areas like herb..trees .. animals.. and something from the nature... because at the end of the day this is what is shown in real CID.. all the hi-fi techie stuff we write here is for our fun.. which will never make it to the real CID case😊

There are no loopholes in your story as such... 😊its only that you made it a little quick... those boy friends and Rivals' where Sachin and others were interrogating,.. try to add twists there .. You clearly pictured that CID suspected 5-6 people.. 😊but if you add twists to those characters you yourselves will see your story growing and getting intriguing...Every character in the story should have a motive to commit the crime 😛 thats my funda 😉

Anyways.. Lots of gyan.. 😆 So...all in all .. Great job.. and let me tell you its really nice to read a story which doesn't require me to remember all those complicated techie stuff 😆 gives a CID script reading feeling 😊

It's sad to see so few members reading the stories. Once the results are announced, the others will never bother or care to read. Why waste time writing stories when hardly 3 or 4 people are reading...😔