Today, I noticed how every time someone insults me my comeback is "Tera Baap". MLID
(I do this. Except it's not baap I say, it's "mattavan", which is sort of a rude mallu slang word for "your better half")
Today, I was taking a shower and i was expecting my gf's call. While in the shower i heard my phone ring and my dad answered. The first thing she said, BAby i missed you, cme to my place asap nbdy's home. My dad knocked and said "Beta Tu bahir nikal" i didnt cme out for two hours. MLID(I used to do this as a kid ALL THE TIME when i was in trouble for something. The moment my parents said they "needed to talk" to me, I'd slip into the bathroom [with a book/my walkman] and not get out for the next few hours!)
Today, I realized that the highlight of my freshman year at college was when Dharma Productions shot a scene from "My Name is Khan" on the UCLA campus. MLID.Today my freind got a new laptop as his graduation present. He named it Priyanka, his favorite desi girl. MLID.
Today, the light was on in a room we weren't sitting in and my mom said "kya teri baap ki shaadi hai?" MLID.
today my aunt asked me if i had to go potty at a restaurant i am 22 MLID
Today, my mom asked me why none of the posters in my room have girls on them. I told her I was a lesbian and I was trying to hide it from her. Apparently, my mom can speak Urdu, (Broken) English, Punjabi, Hindi, and Bengali, but not sarcasm. I received a long lecture on how "batameez" I am. MLID.Today, i was talking to my friend. He asked me if i too smelled the smell of "passed gas". I realized that i forgot to wash my mouth after eating a hajmola. MLID.(Lmfao, my DESI friend/MOM think that hajmola smells like fart. :P)
Today i went to the mall. I saw another indian girl. She looked at me from head to toe and gave me a nasty look. I did the same. MLID.(HAHAHAHAHA, do that to other mallusss ALLL THE TIMEEE!)
Today my little brother asked my mom to tell him a story. She says "ek tha raja ek thi rani dono mar gaye khatham kahani." MLID
Today my freind suggested that we have lunch at Olive Garden. We ate the free breadsticks and salad and left. MLID.
Today, I realized the only time i was allowed to send a text message was to vote for Sanjaya or Anoop. MLID
Today my mom said gour-ment instead of government. MLID.
(HAHAHHAHHAHHA!)
Today, my brother and I went to a car show. Then, we realized it was just the Masjid on Friday. Despite all the Bentleys, Mercedes, and BMWs in the parking lot, the donation box was empty. MLID.Our pet bird can speak better urdu than i can. MLID
Arjun
