Dear Readers,
I have updated the next chapter. Many readers felt that Chandra was cruel and insensitive in the previous chapter. If that is so, I must warn that he is maha-cruel here, though in a thoughtless way. My friend Avantika was expecting a Valentine's Day Treat. But I must warn before hand that there is nothing even remotely romantic anywhere. It is extremely painful. I too felt the same while writing. But poised as the story is at the present moment, such moments cannot be logically included. What Chandra needs at this point is a jolt out of his cold shouldering, indifference, and complacence. And that is what he gets. So, I am off for the present. I will not be able to send the PMs now. Maybe, I will do that later on when I am free.
Shailaja.
Chapter Twenty-Eight: Dhoop aur Chaon
The next day during the journey,
It was an unusually hot and sultry day out in the merciless Indian sun. There had been nothing at all to protect or cast a shadow against the blistering and blinding heat. The retinue had been trudging along for a couple of hours by now. Nandini had been suffering from indisposition since the morning.
She had already vomitted a couple of times since morning. Her maids had been attending to her in the palanquin and helping her feel more comfortable to the best of their abilities and powers. However, she was feeling terribly unequal to continuing this journey any further.
Perhaps they might have to stall the journey and take some medical help. This was a decision only Chandragupt could take. Nandini was sweating profusely by this time. She sent her maid with a request asking Chandragupt to come to her immediately as she wanted to talk to him. The maid duly did the task she was assigned and returned back to her place.
Nandini: Did you tell Maharaj that I wanted to speak to him?
The maid: Yes, Maharani Saa! Maharaj heard whatever I told him!
Nandini: Alright then! He will come over when he is disengaged! You go back and take your place.
With her heart breaking to a thousand pieces, Nandini watched with eyes that seemed to be getting bleary and vague every moment at Chandragupt budging not even an inch from wherever he was, riding beside Durdhara, occasionally talking to her, smiling into her eyes, and seemingly oblivious of everyone around him.
In this span of time, he had occasionally handed over a cooling and soothing tender coconut or two that he had been drinking for her to share. It was all becoming too painful for her to watch or even comprehend. She had specifically sent a maid and asked him to step over just for a moment, and he did not have time even for that!
Nandini, her head splitting apart with a throbbing and numbing headache, had this single thought running through her confused brain, "He does not care what happens to me! He does not care whether I live or die! He does not want me in his life at all!"
However perceiving her condition worsening considerably with every passing moment, she gave up her inhibitions and embarrassment and called out to him from the palanquin sitting wherever she was, "Maharaj, aap ek skshan ke liye aasakthe hain!" (Maharaj, can you please come over for a second?)
Durdhara who was sitting in her palanquin said, "Chandra, Nandini is calling out to you! I think you should go! Perhaps she needs something!"
Chandra, unconcerned and pretending as though he had not heard Nandini calling out to him at all, "I know her very well! All these are vain, attention-seeking tantrums! Just ignore them! She has maids enough to do whatever she needs. If she wants to speak something, she can always come over here and speak to me! Why should I go to her? The proud princess who will not step on the bare ground and needs everyone to dance to her tunes!"
This time an even fainter sound, "Maharaj..." came from her palanquin.
Durdhara: Who knows, Chandra! She might have been really needing you. I think you at least ought to go and inquire what she needs. She sent her maid a while ago. She has called out to you twice.
Chandragupt: You do not know her as well as I do. If she calls me a third time, I will go and ask what she wants.
But the third time never came. Nandini's pride and self-esteem came in between that. Even if she was going to die, she was not going to beg or seek his attention a third time. And this was mere exhaustion, indisposition and headache. She told herself again and again, "I will manage on my own...I don't need you...I will manage...If you are not bothered...I too am not bothered..."
She had already lowered herself and her stature a lot. She wasn't going to sink any further for him. A couple of her maids who were walking beside her palanquin were getting a bit scared by now seeing the deterioration in Nandini's health condition. They pleaded, "Maharani, please allow us to go to Maharaj and tell that you are not well and need medical help!"
Nandini even in her distraught state, "None of you will do any of this! I don't need anything! Nobody needs to be informed anything. That is my order!"
Her maids in despair, "But Maharani, your state of health?"
Nandini: We are nearing the end of our journey. Once we reach, help me to my room and seek the advice of a local medical practitioner.
One of her maids: Should I give you something to eat, drink or make you feel comfortable?
Nandini: Just dissolve some rock salt and jaggery in some cool water and give it to me. That would help me carry on for the present. There is a pink silk pouch in my palanquin. It has a stick of sandalwood within. Just make some paste and apply it to my forehead, neck, hands, and legs. I will most probably be able to manage the rest of this journey.
Maid: As you wish, Maharani! Your orders will be instantly carried out!
Nandini: There is an blue Angavastra among my things in the chest. Pass it over to me!
It belonged to him! So what if he wasn't beside her. She had something that was his to keep her company. She drank the water mixed with salt and jaggery. After her maid had finished applying the sandalwood paste on her forehead, neck, hands and legs, she took the Angavastra that was handed over to her and wrapped herself within it, feeling his soft and soothing touch and comfort in the feel of the cloth around her.
Nandini instructed, "Main sona chahthi hoon! Mujhe ekaanth chahiye! Rajnagari pahounchne ke baad mujhe uttalena!" (I wish to sleep! I need some privacy! After we reach Rajnagari, wake me up!)
The maid who was accompanying her in her palanquin demurred, "Jaisi aap ki agnya, Maharani!" (As you wish, Maharani!) and got down from the palanquin, closed the curtains of Nandini's palanquin, went behind and started walking with the rest of the maids in the retinue.
Nandini's unshed tears started overflowing now in a continuous and never ending stream. She clutched and drew even tighter the Angavastra she was wearing around her with every passing sob and tear. Everything was becoming vague, blurred and unclear, and the blinds were being drawn over her eyes. Her splitting and throbbing headache returned again. It was becoming worse every passing minute. She curled up and drew herself and her entire body even closer. She did not realize when she lost consciousness or cried herself to sleep.
After reaching Rajnagari,
They had reached Rajnagari. They were warmly greeted and welcomed to their capital by Maharaj Indupratap and Maharani Swaralika. Maharaj Indupratap informed them that Crown Prince Arjun Pratap was away on some important affairs and would return shortly. As soon as he arrived, he would introduce him to Maharaj Chandragupt. Chandragupt also acquiesced to that. Chandragupt then introduced Durdhara who was standing along with him as his second queen and Maharani.
Nandini and her group had been standing in the sidelines. For some strange reason, he excluded mentioning or introducing Nandini. Chandragupt was too busy and preoccupied in talking to Maharaj Indupratap and his ministers to notice anything else amiss. All the others in their party like Durdhara or the ministers, were too tired by the journey to devote attention to another person but themselves.
Truth be told, he hadn't noticed or observed where Nandini was among the rest of the retinue. She would probably be sulking that she wasn't being introduced. Why should he bother? He hadn't wanted her to come to this trip at all. She was surely not welcome, not after she had let him down so badly. Why should he keep turning back, again and again, traveling in those lanes of their collective story which brought only absolute and abject misery and angst?
Nandini was too ill by now to notice this affront or insult to her by Chandragupt or take it to heart. She was extremely thankful when all of them had been allotted their respective guest chambers. She just wanted to sink into her bed and take a long nap from which she would never have to wake up or face the reality.
Nandini's maids barely managed to somehow shuffle her along with them and lay her down on the bed. In her vague and deteriorating state of health, she just managed to instruct her maids to get a medical practitioner to treat her immediately without attracting too much notice, attention or alarming anybody, specifically their Maharaj by telling anything.
Her maids were in a flurry. They had never handled such an emergency before.
Maid one: We ought to inform our Maharaj at least now before it is too late!
Maid Two: But hadn't Maharani Nandini forbidden us from doing so? Don't you remember? Maharani sent me to Maharaj asking him to come but he didn't. She called him twice as well. So if we go now and tell Maharaj, wouldn't he be angry with us for troubling and pestering him? When Maharani herself does not want to disturb him, can we afford to?
Maid Three: I think we should disobey Maharani and inform Maharaj immediately. I am leaving. We have wasted enough time already. We ought not to have listened to Maharani in the first place. We should have informed Maharaj long ago. Maharani is ill, so she is not thinking clearly. Take care of Maharani till I come!
It had been a while since the maid was gone bringing no news. The other two maids were getting nervous and jittery now. Nandini's condition had considerably worsened.
Maid Two (lamented): It is a long while since she has left to inform Maharaj. I wonder why she hasn't returned till now? Maharani's condition has worsened in all this while. How I wish we were in Patliputra instead! We would have known where to find the Raj Vaid and got our Maharani treated instantly. Here we hardly know anyone. Where do we find a medical practitioner to treat our Maharani?
Maid One (in a suggestive tone): Perhaps I ought to step outside and make a few inquiries regarding a medical practitioner to somebody out there!
Nandini moaned: Main tumse bath nahin karungi! ...Main tumhare saath nahin khelungi! (I will not talk to you!...I will not play with you!)
Maid Two (audible to herself and Maid One): What was that now? Why does Maharani not want to speak to us? Why was she talking about playing? (Audible to Nandini) Maharani Saa, about whom are you talking? Me or her?
Nandini gave a wild look and a frantic smile as she said: Yeh Chandra bhi naa...main nahin baath karungi...main nahin khelungi...(This Chandra naa...I will not talk to him...I will not play with him...)
Maid One (despairingly) Heavens support me!...Maharani Saa is delirious! (She hurriedly touched Nandini's forehead and found it burning hot with fever) She has high fever...You keep giving cold water packs...I will somehow find a Vaid and bring him immediately...
In the corridor,
In her terribly distressed state of mind, the maid who had gone to find a Vaid, did not know which way she was going, or whom she was bumping into. She had taken ten steps from her room when she unknowingly bumped into a twenty-eight year old member of the royal family of Rajnagari.
That was what the maid had surmised based on the handsome appearance, the sun-bronzed complexion, the warrior-like gait, the rich silken and velvet attire he was wearing, the aura of authority he exhuded, and the regal manner in which the man looked, walked, talked and carried himself. She instantly dropped on her knees and apologized for her faux pas while demurely explaining her distressed state of her mind, the reason for it, and conveying her sense urgency.
The man spoke, "Main Kunwar Arjun Pratap hoon! Aap..." (I am Kunwar Arjun Pratap! And you...) He was trying to figure out who the maid was because she wasn't wearing the uniform of the maids in Rajnagari. It looked different.
A flood of relief washed over the maid at this revelation as she continued, "Kunwarsa, Pranam! Ab aap hi hamari sahayatha karsakte ho! Meri Maharani Saa bimar hain!" (Kunwarsa, accept my greetings! Now only you can help us! My Maharani Saa is ill!)
Outside Chandragupt's Guest Room,
The maid who had gone to inform Chandragupt had been loitering in the corridor waiting for her to be permitted to Chandragupt's presence by the guards at the door. The seconds ticked by turning to minutes. She had been waiting since the past half-hour doing nothing.
At any other time, this would not have bothered her because that was the way it was with common people like her if they sought an audience with their Maharaj. Waiting was an integral part. That was the procedure and protocol. It had never irked and irritated her before, but today, every passing moment seemed to irk and exasperate the maid greatly.
She had asked her fellow guard the tenth time if Maharaj would grant her an audience, or if Maharaj was free to hear her out, and the man had asked her to wait in as irritated and exasperated a fashion, telling that Maharaj was with Maharani Durdhara, had requested for 'Ekant', and was resting after a very tiring journey, and that her problems and issues could wait.
The maid was about to explain that this was not about her but her Maharani, but the man was too recalcitrant to give her even an ear.She finally asked as a last ditch effort if he wasn't willing to let her in, to give a small scroll which she would give to him to Maharaj to be read immediately. The man thought hard for a moment and agreed.
She hurriedly scribbled, "Maharaj pranam! Skshama aapke ekaant bhang karne ke liye! Maharani Nandini atyanth bimar hai! Abhi seh nahin, subah seh hi! Apko yeh suchna deni thi!" (Maharaj greetings! Sorry to disturb your privacy! Maharani Nandini is very ill! Not just now but since the morning! I had to give you this message!)
Inside the room,
The guard had given the scroll to Chandragupt. The minute his eyes fell upon the words, "Maharani Nandini atyanth bimar hai! Abhi seh nahin, subah seh hi!", his heart had started pounding so loudly that he could almost hear it. He broke into a cold sweat as the words, "Maharani Nandini atyanth bimar hai! Abhi seh nahin, subah seh hi!" kept reverberating and echoing within him.
His breath was almost withdrawn for a moment at this revelation. All the repercussions of his actions since morning stuck him anew with ten times their actual force and literally numbed his senses for a moment. The fear of losing he felt at that moment was literally debilitating and crippling. The words froze in his mouth. His tongue became clammy.
At this moment, he suddenly saw Nandini before his eyes. She said to him or so he imagined, "You aren't infallible, Chandra. I trusted you. But your ego was bigger than your love for me. You let me down. I am tired. I am fatigued. I needed you beside me. But you deserted me. Now I have given up. I am not fighting any further. I am deserting you now forever just as you deserted me in my hour of need. I am going. Live with your ego your whole life."
Chandra stretched his hand out in an instinctual gesture to catch Nandini's hand and prevent her from eluding his grasp. But the vision gradually began fading away and slipped through his hands like sand within closed fists. Everything was slipping away from him. His life was running away from him. He uttered an agonized "No!" but in vain.
He instantly ran out, not bothering about what kind of clothes he was wearing or the state he was in. All he cared at this moment was that she was going away from him and he had to stop her at all costs. He would snatch her life even from the clutches of Yama, the God of Death.
Edited by shailusri1983 - 8 years ago
