Are lines of morality blurred nowadays in relationships? - Page 9

Originally posted by: Swetha-Sai

Same here.

Only in worse case scenarios in my extended family, where the couples fight for various reasons and choose not to stay together, do they go in divorce.

I agree. Atleast the concept of open marriages is less common in my family and friends circle from what I've observed. Of course there have been cases of divorces in my close knit circle but that has been mainly because of issues with in-laws or financial issues etc. I started becoming familiar with this concept mainly here on IF gossip threads.😆

Originally posted by: Newbird

On my mom's insistence I tried to mingle in arranged setting but it didn't lead to marriage as I have commitment phobia. Once I realised that I have commitment phobia I stopped mingling with guys in arranged setting cuz why should I waste my time and their time when I know it doesn't lead to marriage.

Also I just don't understand the concept of these arranged marriages at all. I mean how can you love a random stranger. If you don't love how can you imagine yourself living with someone in the same house, same room your whole life. People might say love can happen after marriage. what if it doesn't happen? Marriage needs lot of sacrifices to sustain it through lifetime. How can you sacrifice so much for someone when you don't love them?

I like adventure and spice in life. Living with a stranger sounds interesting.😆 Love marriages are boring😆

Originally posted by: la_Reine

I like adventure and spice in life. Living with a stranger sounds interesting.😆 Love marriages are boring😆

All kinds of marriages are boring beyond a point😆.. Being single is the best 😆..

Originally posted by: Newbird

Thanks for sharing your story. Very few people open up about their married life in real life, so I never understand how marriage/married life works out for them.

@bold

This is where my problem exists in arranged setting. I can't jump into wedding/marriage without knowing the person fully. It would be too scary for me to think that i'm going to commit for someone for life long and what if the life partner turn out to be not compatible with me or not right for me. Life partner is the life time commitment, not like you can change whenever you want right.In arranged setting they don't give you much time to know each other. 15 days you talk, then they want engagement next day, then marriage within 2 months of engagement. Gosh this is how mechanical it is now a days when it comes to arranged marriages . How can I let someone put engagement ring on me after talking for just 15 days. I did find it ridiculous. But again I saw few friends married like that, they met, got engaged within a week and got married within 2 months. It doesn't work out for me like that. I take long time to connect with the people.

Oh luckily I had 6 long months between engagement and marriage. I was in final year of my post graduation and I had put this condition of marriage only after post grad. In those 6 months he came like probably once or twice to meet me as I was in hostel. Phone pe bhi we used to mostly talk about weather, his work, my studies blah blah blah 🤣

Originally posted by: TheAquaCapri

I agree. Atleast the concept of open marriages is less common in my family and friends circle from what I've observed. Of course there have been cases of divorces in my close knit circle but that has been mainly because of issues with in-laws or financial issues etc. I started becoming familiar with this concept mainly here on IF gossip threads.😆

Yeah even I heard of open marriages only in this forum in celebs gossip threads that's why I felt this is probably common in rich people's societies but here some people claimed this happens among some middle class families also and I was like ok hota hoga. 😅 I know cheating, extra marital affairs etc are common even in middle class households but open marriages? Like husband and wife sleeping with other people with each other's knowledge and are ok with that? 😧

Originally posted by: Life_Is_Dutiful

Oh luckily I had 6 long months between engagement and marriage. I was in final year of my post graduation and I had put this condition of marriage only after post grad. In those 6 months he came like probably once or twice to meet me as I was in hostel. Phone pe bhi we used to mostly talk about weather, his work, my studies blah blah blah 🤣

Actually your story sounds cute.

Not everyone is lucky when it comes to arranged marriages. It's like a gamble or luck. I saw few friends arranged marriages ending into divorce ofcourse few others have happy marriages too. So it's a mixed bag.

In arranged setting I have mostly came across guys and their parents putting their conditions across and they were not ready to listen to our side of concerns. Few times guys were OK but their parents were too demanding. I believe marriage is between 2 families not only between 2 people, so we rejected looking at their parents eventhough few guys were nice.

Also may be you are simple and adjusting person. I'm a complicated woman who has trust issues, Commitment phobia and also my profession is not marriage friendly so everything combines to make a recipe for disaster in my case to even think of marriage😆

Originally posted by: Life_Is_Dutiful

Yeah even I heard of open marriages only in this forum in celebs gossip threads that's why I felt this is probably common in rich people's societies but here some people claimed this happens among some middle class families also and I was like ok hota hoga. 😅 I know cheating, extra marital affairs etc are common even in middle class households but open marriages? Like husband and wife sleeping with other people with each other's knowledge and are ok with that? 😧

Initially I went w*f too.. But I have closely saw such a couple in my apartment and also saw few guys in my work place are really wanting to opt for open marriages. I think for few people s** is mechanical. These couples really need to undergo screening for STDs often.😆

Originally posted by: Newbird

All kinds of marriages are boring beyond a point😆.. Being single is the best 😆..

But at least arranged marriage is interesting until you know each other😆

Originally posted by: mintyblue

Just looking at my parent's generation, fidelity and commitment were actually a big deal. Cheating was not so common, I'm not saying it didn't happen, but adultery was generally looked down upon.

Now, it seems that the lines are blurred and people of both genders are indulging more and more in adultery, one-night-stands, and even open marriages.

Why is this? Is the era of innocence over for good? Is it because technology has abetted this?

I want to reveal a personal anecdote here.

This guy who was a senior in my first organization, is in an open marriage and both are in it for mutual convenience. He is sleeping with a lady who is ten years his senior and this "relationship" has been going on since 2008. Not only that, recently he expressed the desire to be with me. I turned him down, but I was a bit shocked at the audacity. Needless to say, he didn't take the rejection sportingly, saying he wants to "break" my shyness.

I am an old soul and I believe in eternal love and devotion towards one person. Yes, I've had my share of relationships but always with the goal of marriage (it's another matter that this didn't happen according to plan). Every time I get into a relationship, I realize I'm better off single as loyalty and fidelity - 2 basic concepts -- have dwindled to nothingness.

I would love to hear your opinions here, all members.

please free to share your views.