Are obsessive lovers from reel life encouraging stalking in the real w

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Z-Gen Zest

Posted: 9 years ago
#1

Are obsessive lovers from reel life encouraging stalking in the real world?Akele, akele, kahan ja rahe ho, hame sath lelo jahan ja rahe ho ( Where are you off alone, why not take me along? ) She is furious at being followed but the fury soon turns to an exasperated pout and by the time the song ends, she is a puddle of adoration. We all knew as we watched Shammi Kapoor and Sharmila Tagore in Evening in Paris in a darkened hall or on our TVs in wooden cabinets that she would fall for him finally . Look back at the number of classic serenades where the hero waylaid the woman, tugged at her dupatta or pallu or jumped out from behind a tree. And the stalking would end, always, in a shaadi.


"Hindi films continuously used the trope of male persuading female and her going from being really annoyed to giving in. We also had a number of songs of women pursuing men and manaoing them," says Paromita Vohra, creative director of Agents of Ishq, a multimedia venture that talks of love and sex with honesty and humour.

But over the decades, the chase became far less lyrical, far more offensive and much more sexist -the pawing became aggressive and you had to be naive to laugh it off as chhed chhad. But it wasn't until recently when real life stories of violent stalking, acid attacks and deadly retribution for rejection surfaced that everyone began sitting up to make the connection. There were way too many similarities between real and reel stalking. Ranjhanaa, Happy Ending and, more recently , Sultan -all emphasise the stalking stereotype -that women remain unaware of their love for men till they are prodded (sometimes literally).


(Image: BCCL)

Not just Bollywood, stalking is a regular fixture in Tamil romantic films starring popular stars like Dhanush, Sivakarthikeyan, Simbu and Arya. A small town wastrel falls for a bright, spirited girl and usually ha rangues her into submission. "It is like he does not need a job, any professional ambition or financial goals in life. It is enough for him to obsess over a woman 24x7," says V Iswarya, a Chennai academic who initiated the #campaignagainststalking and a change.org petition asking the Tamil film industry to say no to stalking scenes and stories. The popular southern actor Sidharth tweeted in support.

Siddharth "@Actor_Siddharth

We've been selling a terrible dream in our films for long. That any man can get the woman he wants just by wanting her enough. Must change!

  • 2,0832,083 Retweets
  • 2,6552,655 likes

Siddharth "@Actor_Siddharth

When a woman stalks a man in our films she's a vamp. When a man does it he is a hero. It's a complicated discussion. But it needs to be had.

  • 1,0191,019 Retweets
  • 1,4451,445 likes

Last month, in TN's Villupuram, a young Class XI girl, Naveena burnt to death as her stalker, a 32-year-old driver set himself on fire and hugged her. These dramatic gestures of punishing a girl as you yourself perish have been the mainstay of Tamil films for some time now. The recent murder of a young techie Swathi in Chennai by a young man still struggling to find his feet in life is prime example of this trope that films push.

The song, Senjitaley, from an upcoming Sivakarthikeyan starrer, Remo is the latest to join the conversation on filmi stalking. "I don't want it easy , I want to torment you into submission," sings the male figure. Filmdom's standard defence is that it imitates society and not the reverse. This is now being questioned. "If interaction between the sexes is considered taboo, and if their only exposure to 'love' is through Tamil movies, it's not too difficult to see why young people grow up thinking that stalking will eventually change the girl's no to a yes," says Aparna Namboodiripad, a volunteer with the campaign against stalking.

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RamSiyaRam thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Its true that certain section of men get encouraged and build fantasies and the girl sadly pays for it in the end.😭 . The men need to be taught that a man does become more or less of man if he does not get the woman he desires. He needs to understand that willful reciprocation is required for a successful relationship.

More than the men, the women have to stand up against it, even on TV, the teen girls lap up all kinds of physical abuse in the name of love?
The idea of true love ( what does it even mean?🤔) needs to be evaluated.

The 1980's were the worse for stalking and eve teasing🤢

Guess the idea of fantasy romance and reality needs to be clarified.
zehreeli.kheer thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Movies tou movies, I find TV serials to be even more pathetic.. guy marrying girl forcefully against her wishes and then the girl eventually falls in love with him🤪
I mean, I visited a TV serial forum sometime ago and there were people calling the girl names because she was reluctant to accept her husband, husband who married her without ehr knowledge in the guise of someone else
The definition of romance and love needs to be redefined.. We need more darrs to show how stalking eventually ends up
Anachronist thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4

Originally posted by: RamSiyaRam

Its true that certain section of men get encouraged and build fantasies and the girl sadly pays for it in the end.😭 . The men need to be taught that a man does become more or less of man if he does not get the woman he desires. He needs to understand that willful reciprocation is required for a successful relationship.


More than the men, the women have to stand up against it, even on TV, the teen girls lap up all kinds of physical abuse in the name of love?
The idea of true love ( what does it even mean?🤔) needs to be evaluated.

The 1980's were the worse for stalking and eve teasing🤢

Guess the idea of fantasy romance and reality needs to be clarified.

1980 s 🤢
Ranbirrocks thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Stunner Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 9 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: yamyam

Movies tou movies, I find TV serials to be even more pathetic.. guy marrying girl forcefully against her wishes and then the girl eventually falls in love with him🤪

I mean, I visited a TV serial forum sometime ago and there were people calling the girl names because she was reluctant to accept her husband, husband who married her without ehr knowledge in the guise of someone else
The definition of romance and love needs to be redefined.. We need more darrs to show how stalking eventually ends up


TV serials are 🤢 🤢
They are more dangerous Coz they are available free and in our living rooms.
Harm that TV serials do, promoting suppression of women, 1000 movies can't do that.
-Lazy- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
today i was thinking the same.😲😛

people should learn the diff between real and reel life.bt as crazy fans follow their favs,so they can do everything which their celebs do in movies.smoke,fights,chasing girls,stealing etc .
suppose,in real life some boy chase a girl and say all these stuff.he def deserve a chappal ,or if someone go to extreme level,girl should complain to police or atleast tell her parents.
bt in some cases normal chasing like some boys do turn into relationship.
i was watching CNWK,sidhu,s wife told that he chased her,later they fell into love and got married.
types and causes of chasing,stalking r diff.some stalk bt they r serious so they send proposal ,if girl reject him.they move on.bt there is another case which is revenge side and that is horrible and only psycho can do it,they need treatment from both doctors and police.

-Lazy- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
honestly indian cinema ,(it is more in serials)boy show as arrogant man,who has every right to abuse girl(mostly verbally ofcourse)do everything to insult her.and later girl fell into love with him .these all serials r so popular that fans donot want to listen that their fav male lead r wrong.
RamSiyaRam thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8

The most dreadful period, where regressive mindset and misogyny to some extent was propagated to the max. All rich girls/educated girls ( not wearing sarees😒🤪 )were immoral and needed to be "domesticated"🤢🤢🤢
zehreeli.kheer thumbnail
Visit Streak 750 Thumbnail 16th Anniversary Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 9 years ago
#9

Originally posted by: -Lazy-

today i was thinking the same.😲😛


people should learn the diff between real and reel life.bt as crazy fans follow their favs,so they can do everything which their celebs do in movies.smoke,fights,chasing girls,stealing etc .
suppose,in real life some boy chase a girl and say all these stuff.he def deserve a chappal ,or if someone go to extreme level,girl should complain to police or atleast tell her parents.
bt in some cases normal chasing like some boys do turn into relationship.
i was watching CNWK,sidhu,s wife told that he chased her,later they fell into love and got married.
types and causes of chasing,stalking r diff.some stalk bt they r serious so they send proposal ,if girl reject him.they move on.bt there is another case which is revenge side and that is horrible and only psycho can do it,they need treatment from both doctors and police.

There is a difference between chasing and wooing.. what they show in movies is plain harrasment.. I doubt Sidhu ji would have harrased his wife
xROBINx thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
TV ki toh baat hi na karo 🤣

Both boy and girl will marry unlimited number of time still they will name serial Pavitra rishta 🤣 it happens in most of the serials

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