Katrina not cool!

LONG READ! BUT ENJOY 😉

Finally we have agreed on 1 thing. Whether you love Katrina or hate her we all agree: She and Booger Boy are meant to be together.

The fans believe that because of the Kapoor name and because they think Booger Boy is a hot handsome influential guy.

The haters believe that because Booger Boy is ugly with his big fat zits/pimples on his face and also not trustworthy.

😳

It seems though that we all have forgotten something. I guess because it's kind of hard to digest that our precious gorgeous dimpled cheeks Deepika once actually was in a serious relationship with that guy. And she was in love with him. Yeah, hard to believe but she was so in love that she has a R.K. tattoo on her neck 🤢 I guess we're all just too busy being happy that she is single and Katrina is stuck with him and ofcourse Katrina fans are happy too that Booger Boy isn't with Deepika anymore but with their darling Kat.

BUT STILL...there's no denying. Deepika was incredibly serious. Booger Boy obviously not but it seems he didn't give her reason to believe they were never gonna end up together. I think Booger Boy loved her too but because of his rising career and sudden obsessed with him teenage girls he probably didn't feel that sure anymore.

STILL they were together. But then Booger Boy started to work on Ajab with Katrina. SHE COULDN'T BELIEVE IT! JACKPOT! KAPOOR KHANDAAN. Deepika who? I'm Katrina Kaif, I'm beautiful, and I will get whatever I want! Even god thinks I'm beautiful so he presents me everything on a platter. Oops 1 problem: Carrot 😭 What if he attacks me with his juice 😭 He could spill the beans about my past 😭.

Now Katrina is not a bright person. But she is exceptionally manipulative, and she will do anything and everything to get what she wants. So Katrina's five brain cells (normal human beings who can learn strange languages within a year have 100 billion) got activated:

I want Booger Boy, But what to do with Carrot?

BINGO! I KEEP BOTH SATISFIED FOR NOW!

So Katrina pulled an Angelina. During the entire shooting schedule of Ajab she had Booger Boy for herself. And whenever she had to be in Mumbai she pleased Carrot. She's a pro so it didn't take long before Deepika visited them on the sets of Ajab and found them together in Booger Boy's vanity van while Katrina was just dressing up. Booger Boy however assured a horrified Deepika NOTHING HAPPEND! Katrina's vanity van got too cold...so she came here. I love you Deepy 😳. Ofcourse Deepika still felt suspicious but kya kare bechari? So she went away. And Miss Kaif's 5 brain cells started to function once again...in tears she kept asking Booger Boy: What if Deepika doesn't believes us and goes to Carrot? What if, what if, what if 😭 I can't deal with this anymore. She goes to her own vanity van (which isn't too cold obviously 🤢) and calls her sister Christine (she's also a pro). Chris HELP! She explains everything to her sister and Chris advices her to get Carrot on her side just in case Deepika opens her mouth. So Katrina heads towards Rajkumar Santoshi. She hits him playfully on his butt and gives him a seductive look: Hey Raju 😳 can you please please give Carrot a cameo? If you do I will have some of your karela juice 😳. Rajkumar Santoshi looks excited and says: Ho gaya! Call Carrot!.

Carrot shoots the cameo with Booger Boy and Katrina and as far as the entire world know: SalKat are still together. When Deepika hears about the cameo she becomes so happy that she decides to treat her aashiq! Booger Boy sweety let's go to the spa! They might be aible to clean your face! Then you won't have zits anymore 😳

And all is fine again. BUT picture abhi bakhi hai 😊. Shooting of Ajab hasn't finished yet. Booger Boy and Katrina still got some scenes to shoot. In a boring place called Ooty...together 😳. Katrina has fallen head over heels in love with Booger Boy's surname while Booger Boy has fallen head over heels with Katrina's swallow skills 😳 MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN. Suddenly they get a week off. In Ooty 🤢 So Booger Boy decides: Chalo Katrina, let's go to Venice together Katrina: YAHOO. THIS IS IT! I DID IT!

Booger Boy who isn't that bright himself completely forgets Deepika so their first night in Venice while Booger Boy was just experiencing a newfound warmth Deepika calls. WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU AND KATRINA? I'M IN OOTY? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU BOTH? I CALLED YOUR PARENTS! YOU'RE NOT IN MUMBAI EITHER RIGHT? WHERE ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU? 😭

A confused Booger Boy takes a deep breath and says: Deepy baby relax! I'm in Venice! We might do some scenes here so I'm checking out locations. Sorry I didn't inform you earlier it all happend so quick. Deepika: But where is that chudail? WHERE IS SHE? Booger Boy: Katrina isn't here sweetheart. She is with her mother in Chennai. They end their conversation. Deepika knows something isn't right so she lets her spokesperson call Suzy's orphanage: Katrina isn't there.

GRRR NAHIN 😭

-During the KWK episode with Sonam, Deepika posed a question for Katrina during the rapid fire: CAN I SEE YOUR PASSPORT? That question wa posed because Deepy wanted to know whether or not Katrina really was in Venice. Just to be sure that both are bas***ds 😡

After Booger Boy returned from Venice nothing was the same. Deepy wasn't 100% sure Kat was with him, but still everything changed. Booger Boy wasn't around, and hardly answered her phone calls. Instead Booger Boy spend all his free hours in Katrina's bought once by Carrot for her apartment.

And today they are in a relationship. While Deepika had to hide her jealousy by dating other lousy guys like Sid Mallya 🤢 Seriously Deepy...you could get anyone you want and you chose that Mallya kid? Anyway Deepy is single now and the other cheaters are coloring the town red while Katrina's messiah (saviour) Carrot is going through a rough patch. But no way in hell will Katrina comfort Carrot while he has nightmares about his future 10 years prison term. Not even out of friendship. Katrina is a busy woman. She needs to focus 24/7 on Booger Boy. Cuz Katrina knows one thing: ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER. History will definitely repeat itself. No way in hell Booger Boy will remain faithful to her for the rest of their lives. He's only 31 😲 So Katrina is basically keeping both eyes on Booger Boy. He can't go anywhere alone 😡

MESSAGE TO KATRINA:

NOT COOL! JUST NOT COOL! YOU STOLE SOMEONE'S BOYFRIEND! NOT COOL! You're no saint at all! And though I really wish for you to be forever with Pimple Faced Booger Boy the truth is: He probably has already cheaten several times on you 😆

SECOND MESSAGE TO KATRINA:

NOT COOL! JUST NOT COOL! THE WAY YOU USED CARROT! NOT COOL! How dare you fool the guy for 10 years? HOW COULD YOU? The guy who gave you everything! Introduced you to industry insiders, the best hindi and dance and acting teachers, helped you himself with your dubbing and offered you his protection and house and family. HOW DARE YOU 😡 He wasted so many years of his life with you! He should have married a nice girl 8 years ago and he should have had three kids with her now. Instead your desire to become an actress (what actress 🤢 LEARN ACTING...no there's no point it's more than 10 years already) was more important than his life and happiness. 😡 You're such a mean person.

THIRD MESSAGE TO KATRINA:

Aabbb Bennndd Kijiiiyeee...👏 Deepika number one. Media finally writing about lack of acting skills and lack of expressions. *The punishment for ruining Deepika and Carrot's life has already started 😳. Go to as many dargah's and mosques and mandirs as you can...YOU CAN'T AVOID YOUR PUNISHMENT. 😳

With ruining Deepika and Carrot's life I mean:

Booger Boy deflowered Deepika before marriage. Ab shaadi kaun karega Deepika ki saath?

Katrina deflowered Carrot before marriage: Who wants to have Katrina's leftover Carrot Juice?

GO DEEPIKA! KICK THAT WOMAN OUT OF BOLLYWOOD! AND GO Booger Boy! MAKE THAT DELUDED WOMAN FALL SO HOPELESSLY IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT WHEN YOU FINALLY DUMP HER SHE WILL PACK HER BAGS AND GO BACK TO THE GUTTER SHE CAME FROM.

Katrina 😡 NOT COOL 😡

By the way: In case anyone is wondering how she is making sure that Carrot is quiet about her past...the answer is simple:

whats the reason behind post on kat everyday now sudden??

does she check it?