Posted:
" I Hate Dumb Storys……" by Shobha de
It started with the annoying misspelling. Come on, guys, we know the trendy sms, twitter and any other shorthand du jour. We do realize nobody has the time to spell out anything anymore – literally and metaphorically. But this sort of a distortion doesn't make for 'cute'. However , it does prepare the audience for what is to come - terminal boredom. This is assured right from the first few scenes, filled with dull voiceovers of the protagonists as they drone on and on about their respective attitudes to love – sorry – 'luv'. The guy with a droopy-loopy grin doesn't believe in such mush, the girl with a white plastic flower, does. Both work for a hysterical movie director, whose character, nudge-nudge,is based on Sanjay Leela Bhansali's. Once the premise is clumsily and unconvincingly established, the movie meanders off in many disconnected directions, with sub-plots that don't go anywhere. You're probably saying, " That's okay. Since when do Bollywood films follow logic?" I am fine with the idiocy of most Bollywood products – in fact, the only reason for watching hyped up commercial films ( at hefty multiplex prices), is to come away gasping at the absurdity of the content. But there is generally one important criterion at play – entertainment. Make the rubbish entertaining. Let the people feel they have got their money's worth. At least the music should rock! Especially when the movie features two big ticket popcorn stars and involves a prestigious production house. What an absolute waste casting Imran Khan and Sonam Kapoor in this utterly dull, total dud of a movie which is more a wonky tribute to Karan Johar's earlier films, songs and screen pairings. After a point, all those 'in' jokes and references start bugging the viewer, particularly a replay of his popular songs as background scores and an embarrassingly gauche recreation of iconic scenes , like the 'kuch kuch hota hai' dialogue between Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. Come on guys, are you that desperate for original ideas that you have to pack so many reels of a contemporary film with such obvious take- offs ? This isn't clever tongue-in-cheek stuff. It's plain unimaginative.
In any case, most movies which try and follow the 'movie-within-a-movie' formula, generally fall flat on their faces. Only filmwallas get the context and laugh at all the insider stuff. The last time such a formula actually worked, was in 'Rangeela', especially that on screen dig at Sridevi and her 'mummy'. It is a wonder Karan actually approved the script of such an excruciatingly pointless film which,post-interval, suddenly takes off for New Zealand. Why? By then it doesn't really matter. Those guys could be on the moon. By the time the key 'turning point' arrives,that has Imran (Raj), phoning his mummyji ( Anju Mahendru in a terrible wig) and howling over the phone, one is ready to shake up this bloke called Punit Malhotra ( chief villain) and spank him in public. As for Sonam, the lassie lacks oomph, even if she does have a great smile and can act. Oh… and Imran should definitely keep his shirt on… if he doesn't want the audience to lose theirs.
It started with the annoying misspelling. Come on, guys, we know the trendy sms, twitter and any other shorthand du jour. We do realize nobody has the time to spell out anything anymore – literally and metaphorically. But this sort of a distortion doesn't make for 'cute'. However , it does prepare the audience for what is to come - terminal boredom. This is assured right from the first few scenes, filled with dull voiceovers of the protagonists as they drone on and on about their respective attitudes to love – sorry – 'luv'. The guy with a droopy-loopy grin doesn't believe in such mush, the girl with a white plastic flower, does. Both work for a hysterical movie director, whose character, nudge-nudge,is based on Sanjay Leela Bhansali's. Once the premise is clumsily and unconvincingly established, the movie meanders off in many disconnected directions, with sub-plots that don't go anywhere. You're probably saying, " That's okay. Since when do Bollywood films follow logic?" I am fine with the idiocy of most Bollywood products – in fact, the only reason for watching hyped up commercial films ( at hefty multiplex prices), is to come away gasping at the absurdity of the content. But there is generally one important criterion at play – entertainment. Make the rubbish entertaining. Let the people feel they have got their money's worth. At least the music should rock! Especially when the movie features two big ticket popcorn stars and involves a prestigious production house. What an absolute waste casting Imran Khan and Sonam Kapoor in this utterly dull, total dud of a movie which is more a wonky tribute to Karan Johar's earlier films, songs and screen pairings. After a point, all those 'in' jokes and references start bugging the viewer, particularly a replay of his popular songs as background scores and an embarrassingly gauche recreation of iconic scenes , like the 'kuch kuch hota hai' dialogue between Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol. Come on guys, are you that desperate for original ideas that you have to pack so many reels of a contemporary film with such obvious take- offs ? This isn't clever tongue-in-cheek stuff. It's plain unimaginative.
In any case, most movies which try and follow the 'movie-within-a-movie' formula, generally fall flat on their faces. Only filmwallas get the context and laugh at all the insider stuff. The last time such a formula actually worked, was in 'Rangeela', especially that on screen dig at Sridevi and her 'mummy'. It is a wonder Karan actually approved the script of such an excruciatingly pointless film which,post-interval, suddenly takes off for New Zealand. Why? By then it doesn't really matter. Those guys could be on the moon. By the time the key 'turning point' arrives,that has Imran (Raj), phoning his mummyji ( Anju Mahendru in a terrible wig) and howling over the phone, one is ready to shake up this bloke called Punit Malhotra ( chief villain) and spank him in public. As for Sonam, the lassie lacks oomph, even if she does have a great smile and can act. Oh… and Imran should definitely keep his shirt on… if he doesn't want the audience to lose theirs.
69