Our marriage was not of love but that of need

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Kavyanjali

@kavyanjali08

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Originally posted by: SaurabhKiRadha

I do agree that vandana should not assume arjun loves saanjh , that is only wrong thing she is doing now . They should ask his pov about saanjh maya marriage otherwise she is not wrong.

@SaurabhKiRadha you don't get Arjun's mind-set, it's not easy to accept step-mom no matter how close the lady was and I've seen this up-close... I've seen two different families handling the situation differently, a very close family friend I had seen them, Uncle had 02 kids, one boy and one girl from his 1st wife and after his wife's death who were between 06-10 when he re-married his wife's younger sister and they had a son from that... his 1st wife's kids are grown-up and married themselves but still haven't been able to accept their Maasi as their new Mom...in fact I had heard them literally say that the day their Mother died, their father died for them too. They had married because of the kids and they only couldn't accept their step-mom who was their Maasi only because no one had asked them what they felt. Another is my friend, his mom died in car accident and he was the only son...his father didn't remarry no matter how much relatives said until about 02 yrs later he himself had asked his father to...then the lady his father had remarried kept specific conditions that to love his 1st wife's son only will he married and they would not have another child...anyways the point is his father had taken his son's opinion, so he never had hard time accepting his step-mom. So you get the thing what Arjun's father and Vandhana had done, they may have taken the decision for Arjun's betterment but they hadn't included him which led for him to develop such prejudice and the gossip he had heard only strengthen those prejudice he still has...it's not that easy to let them go, maybe if they had talked to him elaborating the situation and including him rather then deciding him on his be-half than things would've been different. They should've sat with Arjun when he was little more grown-up and talked to him about the relationship with Vandhana more clearly, maybe that would'e helped but they didn't do anything that sort which led to what is happening now...so more than Arjun, it is Vandhana and Arjun's father's fault that he thinks so bad about Vandhana..

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Naam mein kya rakha hai

@TheUnique

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

Completely agree.
From age 6 he has been suffering this pain. His wound is deep...to see his dad remarrying just 6 months after his own mom dies is something too much for a child to grasp .
Also I didn't understand Vandana's motive in staying in their house after her friend's death in the name of taking care of the child . Log toh tara tara ki baatein karegi hi ... like she said & so they married to put an end to it .. but what I felt was they made the gossip mongers ..gossips seemed true cuz who in their right sense would marry just after 6 months his wife & her bestie passes away !
Also the lame excuse they had for marrying proved useless & the child instead of being happy & not missing his mom ..misses her even more ! So this marriage proved useless for Arjun while Vandana & his dad were happy ..first mentally & then physically too when they fell in love cuz Ayaan was born . It only served their purpose. Arjun needed his dad more at that age not a new woman trying to take his mom's place.
Vandana's laadli Saanjh even in all these years couldn't heal his wound. Everything that Saanjh had failed to do in all these years Maya had done in one jhatka .. like his hospital phobia & now I think Maya will say thing which will heal his wound & like she said nazariya badal do ..
Arjun & Maya are helping each other to get rid of their inside fears .. like she will now start add colors in her life & she will help in bonding with his mom .

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#23

@kavya thanks for so beautifully explaining with personal experience. The child had to be included in decision making.

See many people expect Arjun to be forgiving as he is the child. Parents did it for him. But the issue is are parents understanding the child. Child is also an individual and the decisions concerning child, child has to be included.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#24

Exactly Unique. People who have not taken Arjun's or Maya's journey wont understand them. Because they love theories. It is easy to have theories. But it is how you act when faced with such situation matters.

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Sanjana luhana

@Sanjana212

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#25

I am loving the thing how arya are supporting each other and helping each other to overcome their fears 😳

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Naam mein kya rakha hai

@TheUnique

Rocker

Posted: 8 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
Exactly Unique. People who have not taken Arjun's or Maya's journey wont understand them. Because they love theories. It is easy to have theories. But it is how you act when faced with such situation matters.

Including the child in their decision is something both his dad & Vandana should have done. They took such an important decision for his welfare but excluded him ... never asked what HE wanted !
And now again Vandana is doing the same mistake. She's imposing her decision & choice Saanjh upon him. Arey first try to know whether Arjun sees her as his future better half or not ! Atleast Ayaan could have asked him about it . But no !.. they are only interested in imposing their choices on him !
Both Maya & Arjun do not have a perfect childhood ... like Saanjh does ... maybe Maya's one was more traumatic with a sadistic daddy but Arjun's also was nothing less . U r right in saying ''people who have not taken Arjun or Maya's journey won't understand them. '''

Edited by TheUnique - 8 years ago

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Sanjana luhana

@Sanjana212

Voyager

Posted: 8 years ago

#27

Originally posted by: TheUnique

Including the child in their decision is something both his dad & Vandana should have done. They took such an important decision for his welfare but excluded him ... never asked what HE wanted !
And now again Vandana is doing the same mistake. She's imposing her decision & choice Saanjh upon him. Arey first try to know whether Arjun sees her as his future better half or not ! Atleast Ayaan could have asked him about it . But no !.. they are only interested in imposing their choices on him !
Both Maya & Arjun do not have a perfect childhood ... like Saanjh does ... maybe Maya's one was more traumatic with a sadistic daddy but Arjun's also was nothing less . U r right in saying ''people who have not taken Arjun or Maya's journey won't understand them. '''

Very true and again if vandana starts to impose her decisions on arjun telling him sanjh is perfect for her, think about her blah blah blah this will further distant her from arjun.

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shruthiravi

@shruthiravi

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#28

Unique the fact I most like about Beyhadh is that they deal with childhood and how not having a good family affects a child throughout their life. how when a family doesnt treat a child individual scars the child.

Because our society needs to know, the root of many a broken marriage and increasing rate of divorces lie in that imperfect childhood which was not handled the right way

Parenting the most important role for a man and a woman. Alas the only role which does not need any training in our society. Get married, have relation and have kids just like that. Then do trial, error and when finally the product doesnt turn as you expect, put the blame on the product than the design

Edited by shruthiravi - 8 years ago

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Kavyanjali

@kavyanjali08

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: shruthiravi
Unique the fact I most like about Beyhadh is that they deal with childhood and how not having a good family affects a child throughout their life. how when a family doesnt treat a child individual scars the child.
Because our society needs to know, the root of many a broken marriage and increasing rate of divorces lie in that imperfect childhood which was not handled the right way

Parenting the most important role for a man and a woman. Alas the only role which does not need any training in our society. Get married, have relation and have kids just like that. Then do trial, error and when finally the product doesnt turn as you expect, put the blame on the product than the design

The actual thing is Arjun feels betrayed by Vandhana and that's why he never accepted her...I mean Arjun has no problem with Ayaan and treats him very much like his brother. But I think when Vandhana married his Dad since he was close to her at one time, he felt betrayed mostly by Vandhana because of the prejudiced that had built him with all those gossip seemed true to him...had Vandhana and his Dad asked Arjun, given him time to mourn over the loss of his mother and then wanting another mom...things would've been different today, he wouldn't have been so bitter to Vandhana...

And true 'Beyhadh' sort of deals with how much our childhood affect us in out life...plays a major part in our personality development like Maya's personality...and had Jaanvi had some backbone and had actually thrown Ashwin from all aspects of her life and not given opportunities to exploit Maya as he does than maybe Maya wouldn't have such darker shades in her personality. Also parenting is such a delicate matter, sometimes we don't understand issues that might leave such drastic effect on a child... like Arjun's Dad re-marrying Vandhana, its a sensitive issue and most cases things are done the way it with Mr. Sharma and Vandhana and later child like Arjun never really accept the step-mom ever, even if the lady is genuine.

Edited by kavyanjali08 - 8 years ago