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It was the fateful day when he died.
He, who cared for me the most, helped me become a better wife and loved me as if I was his own daughter.
He was my mentor, the person who stood by my side whenever I needed him. He was my Mamu. More like a father figure for me.
I looked where he was standing. His body was stiff and I could clearly see him fighting back his tears. My insides urged me to go and stand beside him. He needed me.
I got up and started taking small steps in his direction when I heard Fahad bhayi's voice calling out his name "Zain, idhar ao."
He nodded as he made his way towards Fahad bhayi without noticing my figure standing a few steps away from him.
Everybody, who had come to attend mamu's funeral, went back by the night and the family members also retired to their respective rooms.
I was sitting in the kitchen all alone as I knew he was in our room. Today, for the first time, I was finding it difficult to face him.
I glanced at the wall clock which showed 2 am. I mustered up some courage to stand up and finally go to our room.
His words echoed in my head as I proceeded towards the room "Barkat Villa ke top floor per ek bhaad hai." He had teased me.
I heard his silent sobs as I reached the door to our room. Even though his sobs were silent, I knew how his heart was screaming in pain. I entered, went and sat beside him on the bed. I didn't know what to say and, by each passing moment, it was getting difficult for me to talk to him.
I placed my hand on his shoulder and parted my dry lips to say something. "Zain..." I could only manage to mutter his name and before I could think of something else to say, I heard his voice "Aliya please!" His tone seemed angry. No, not only angry but it also had a touch of sadness and anguish. I removed my hand instantly when I heard him sigh. Yes, he sighed. Was I a burden on him? Was I the reason behind this state of his? I knew I was not thus I again gathered up some strength to speak to him. "Zain.. Mamu-" Before I could continue, he stood up and shouted "Aliya please. Chali jao!" He made sure his voice didn't cross the walls of our bhaad. He never liked any third person's involvement in our issues.
I stood up as I could feel tears pooling my eyes. He didn't look at me. I knew I should leave as he was already very disturbed but my heart wasn't allowing me to do so. I knew he didn't mean what he said. My heart kept telling me he needed me. "Zain main-" I tried again and this was it! "Aaliya tum kyun peechay par gai ho? Aaj tumhari waja sey mere dad nahi rahay. Mere dad... Aaliya mere dad, tumharay mamu." He cried as he shouted stressing on each word as if I didn't know my relation with the dead body which was laying in our house a few hours back.
"Mujhay tou lagta hai tum meri zindagi ki sab se badi galti thi. Nahi, tum meri zindagi ki sab se badi galti ho. Mai tumhe talaaq deta hun.. Talaaq! Talaaq! Talaaq!" He fell back on the bed as he finished saying what he had to say. As for me, I just stood there as if my feet were glued to the floor. My knees didn't feel weak. My tear glands didn't secrete any tears. Ground didn't slip from beneath my feet. My body was numb, I guess. My heart refused to accept those three words. No, not three words actually. It was just one word repeated thrice which took my world away from me.
I looked at him. He was still crying but this time, he looked helpless. I so wanted to console him but he just had snatched my right, to let him cry on my shoulder, away.
I knew what has been said, has been said. None of us could change it.
"Aaliya tum meri hamdard ho aur hamesha rehna." His words echoed in my head. 'How can I be Zain? You just snatched my most cherished right away from me.' My insides cried.
After two more minutes of staring at him, I silently walked out of the room. I knew I could not stay in that room any longer. It was not my room anymore. It was his room, his room only. I had no right to be there with him anymore. I went to another room and sat on the sofa. No matter how much I longed to be in his arms, I couldn't. Maybe I really was the reason of mamu's death. After all, I was the one who fed him unani medicines.
Despite of Zain's, Mami's and doctor's refusal I fed him those medicines.
The spanish doctor even told that two kind of treatments on a patient at the same time could cause harm but I didn't listen. Why was I being so stubborn? I should have listen to them.
Momentarily, my mind started to believe that I was the reason behind mamu's death. I murdered the person who brought me and Zain together. He was the soul reason behind the success of our marriage and I killed him which resulted in the end of our marriage.
I went to Bhopal two days later and explained everything to my parents. I knew Abbu would console me but surprisingly Ammi too showered love on me. She did cry on Abbu's shoulder as it was her brother who died two days back but she never accused me for his death. I was grateful to her, indeed.
Next day when Ammi entered my room, she noticed dark circles around my eyes. Next, she looked at my pillow. First I was confused but then I understood what she was looking for. Tears. She was looking if my pillow was wet from tears. She must have expected me to cry oceans all night due to my divorce. She knew how much I loved Zain but the truth is not even a single drop of tear had escaped my eyes since the time he uttered that one word thrice and built an invisible wall between us. I tried to cry but I couldn't. At times, I myself would wonder why I am not crying. I thought I'm too cold hearted or my love for Zain isn't true that's why I'm not crying but how could my love for him couldn't be true? I knew it was. I had never loved a person as much as I loved him. He meant everything to me.
I had a habit to always ask him before I go anywhere out. Shazia bhabi used to taunt me on this and Nafisa bhabi used to think am a narrow minded girl but I never paid heed to them and their words. At times, even Zain would laugh and say "Aaliya yar jahan jana hai chali jao. Har choti baat pe pocha mat karo." But I knew he loved when I asked him for permission. His eyes speaks to me more than his words do. He had once said, "Malika e Zain this habit of yours makes me feel more special and precious. This makes you stand out among others." and I had just blushed in response. I was never a shy girl who would blush but only he had the ability to make Aliya Ghulaam Haider blush. I miss him.
One day I was talking to Fahad bhai on phone when he suggested Halala' but I blatantly refused. I could never give any other man the place I gave to Zain. He was my first and he would remain my last. It was impossible for me to give his place to somebody, even if it was for a short span of time. Halala allows a girl to marry some other person, consummate marriage with him and then go back to her previous husband. I knew giving his place to somebody else would give me a chance to go back into his life but still I could never do this. I simply refused to perform halala'.
***
Two years later
Yesterday, Abbu got a heart attack. Ammi and I took him to the hospital and today in the morning, he passed away. Doctors were already hopeless about him. The news of my divorce had made him suffer from depression since last two years because he thought I, his precious daughter, was sad and depressed. I tried to explain Ammi, Abbu and Aayat that I was fine but they never listened to me. After many days when they never witnessed me crying or cursing, they believed me. They thought now I'm out of the shock. I started taking an interior designing course at home. Since Aayat was married, I preferred to stay at home and pursue whatever I want. Interior designing had been my passion but I could complete my course due to my sudden marriage and shifting to Mumbai. Even though my course was left incomplete, I never stopped designing and decorating. I started with decorating our room and then Mamu gave me the responsibility of the holi party. I still remember how much my decor was praised by the guests and him. Mamu too had loved my ideas. Everything was going so good. I smiled sadly.
At night, everyone had returned to their homes. I gave sleeping pills to Ammi and went to my room. I sat on the bed and realised that today one more precious person left me. Allah took away both the father figures from me.
That night I realized that as time is passing, I'm losing my loved ones. I'm losing the people who mean the world to me. Firstly my Mamu, then Zain and now Abbu. I knew soon ammi too will leave me alone! When this reality struck me, I cried. I cried for the first time since Zain threw me out of his life. That night, I not only cried for my father's death, I also cried for not being a part of Zain's life anymore. I cried for losing my only mamu. That night I cried the unshed tears. By 7 am my body gave away the strength to cry anymore. I felt like a heavy burden was off my shoulders. The tears locked in my eyes since two years finally came out and I felt relieved.
-The End-
My first story, the ones i write in school are an exception 😛 This is the first time I've written something on IF, please do leave a comment 😃
I know I'm very bad. But it's just that I LOVEE sad endings 😆 Anyways, I don't want this to happen in the show 😳 Zain-Aaliya should be together always 😉
P.S. Emaan (Emaani.95) helped me a LOT in this OS 😳 The title is also suggested by her 😛
