~~~~DOTW~~ !!Mismatch marriage!!

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kichwamaji

@kichwamaji

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#11

Good topic.....a little touchy for some maybe....

Chalia made excellent points in my opinion..(as usual...needless to say😉!)

My take is that I am for it,,,,,as long it has not been forced upon the younger individual. If it is a matter of choice, then both individuals should be allowed to conduct their marriage in a way that suits them both .......without any interference.

Any marriage is based on important fundamentals like love, trust and faith. If these are missing then it is not going to work irrespective of age. I have seen many marriages where the older individual makes an extra effort to please the younger one as well as the other way around where the younger individual is eager to please....and life goes on.

When the basic fundamentals of any marriage are missing, irrespective of age....disruptions occur due to mistrust and insecurities lead to an unhappy end.( As in Kaddu and Shanky's case)

There fore, in my view, age is not a factor in a marriage....other basic fundamentals are.(As in DM and Santu's case)

In Santu and DM's case I feel they both really did give the marriage a shot, but circumstances created bitterness and insecurities....only on the surface, though....Deep down they really do care for each other😳!

They have too many external interference that is causing the distrust and unfortunately they are both attempting to solve the problems individually as opposed to as a team....beats the purpose of a marriage.....Anyway....no bashing here....so i'll quit talking while the going is good!!!😉

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Megha

@MeghaSRKLover

Sparkler

Posted: 15 years ago

#12

great DOTW Uma 👍🏼

i agree S000

i would look at how the marriage was conducted too before judging whether its right or worng

i wouldnt want anyone in this world to be forced into marriage but oh well, its something out of our control :p

i just feel strongly against forced marriages...cant explain it

dont mind arranged marriages so much if the 2 people are consent with it

i dont think age matters if the 2 people are truly happy & the age difference doesnt affect them

its their choice, its their lives, they have to decide whether they'd be happy together

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ammoos

@ammoos

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 15 years ago

#13

I say.. the relation doesnt DEPEND on the age bar.. It varies from person to person... and how the couple came into the relation. Like someone said reality is not similar to Santu and Dharamraj.. Not all men are DM and not all women are SAntu.

But still as long as no one force them to the relation the age will not be a problem. Like chalia said AGE is just another factor in marriage.

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kichwamaji

@kichwamaji

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: rianicia
In my own opinion, we all marry in hopes of one day finding happiness, why else would we do it. If marrying at a young age makes you happy, then do it, but if it does not work out, you have no one to blame. you followed your heart and did what you felt was right.

While getting older often (though not nearly often enough) equates to greater self-awareness and maturation, that's not the key to a successful marriage. On the contrary, the more one is concerned about self-fulfillment and self-love, the less likely one is going to be able to sustain a successful marriage, since marriage is largely about selfless devotion to one's spouse.

To me, maturity is something gained through experience. Some people in their 30s are not as mature than some 18 year olds. There's no way to determine a specific age for that. Depending on the events that unfold in each individual's life, maturity is different. I've met teenagers with a better grip on reality then people in their 30's.

The power to making the relationship healthy lies in the hands of the two souls into it.

👏👏

Totally agree!!!

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kichwamaji

@kichwamaji

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#15

To lighten the topic a little............

Should we take it that all the long posts here come from married girls??😆😆

So much experience running through these forums!!! Message for younger ones is keep learning😆!!!

I am!!😆

Married, Experienced and still learning....forgot to mention....young😆!!!

Edited by kichwamaji - 15 years ago

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anna

@anna44

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#16

Beautiful Post Uma....

will comment later

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hamsgh

@hamsgh

Voyager

Posted: 15 years ago

#17

it all depends on the wife's age !!

if she is of a proper age for marriage, she can marry whoever she likes ( older or younger ) it's doesn't matter how big the difference is as long as she choose it with a full free desire ...

it's a matter of mind & emotions not numbers !!

Edited by hamdasgh - 15 years ago

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rpmenon

@rpmenon

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: fuzzyface

no comments....marriage (*cringes*)

Why?? Its the most wonderful institution,if tackled properly. 😆 👍🏼

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chalia

@chalia

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: rpmenon

Why?? Its the most wonderful institution,if tackled properly. 😆 👍🏼

Marriage is like Parenting.

There is a lot of literature on "success" but none of their rules ever work!

Its a game of delicately balancing out several aspects all at once. And that includes the veritable "clans"!

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fuzzyface

@fuzzyface

Inactive

Posted: 15 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: chalia
Marriage is like Parenting.
There is a lot of literature on "success" but none of their rules ever work!

Its a game of delicately balancing out several aspects all at once. And that includes the veritable "clans"!

Thanks for the insights but I have fear of commitment 😕
😕Marriage is not something I look forward to or have much interest.

People can marry or don't with people younger or older at the end it is their prerogative.
There are many reasons why people marry, family & peer pressure, love, loneliness or wanting a family and children.
At the end I think it involves two people who are in a lifetime commitment.
If there is any third wheel then it becomes a crowd, which is visible in the Sanraj fictional relationship.
Too many third wheels surrounding them and this is why the marriage never was successful.
my two cents worth 😊

Edited by fuzzyface - 15 years ago