Is Sumitra right? - Page 5

Originally posted by: surabhi01

really in last third post i am taking about that why sumi does not show concern for family when ratan threats in front of goddess and here people r arguiing with me sumi can change her mind with ganga .

so why she consider ratan threat empty that means whatever sumi is doing is all correct and whatever all others r doing is all wrong ?.tali ek hath se nahi bajti

Originally posted by: aparnauma

I don't think Sumi is wrong in her thinking and her fears did turn out to be real.

Like she said to Jagya Ganga is not like Anandi or Suguna for her.If she thinks that way it is her business.DS thinks Ganga is a lot like Anandi that is her opinion but why try to make Sumi see Anandi in Ganga?Sumi does n't want another Anandi.

For her Ganga is a nobody whom her family is given her shelter.If Sumi thinks of Ganga this way it is her opinion.Why should she be faulted for thinking that way?

Sumi is inherently a weak woman whose world begins and ends with her family and she only thinks of her family first,

But she was wrong in taking her frustrations out on Ganga.Ganga was there because her family brought her in.She should have taken up her issues with her husband and MIL.

Agree with all points except bold.

Did she not talk to Bhairo and her MIL? She did, but they treated her as if her fears were foolish and baseless, when in reality they were true..

Originally posted by: Missesha

@ Skepblun loved your analysis.

@ Sectoreight, In my opinion there was a way to handle this. Bhairon could have aplogised to Sumi for overlooking her fears and putting the family through this torture. That would have immediately given solace to Sumitra. She too has just come out of a violent shock.

Once he adressed that, he could have then make her understand that G is not at fault, with love and concern. Sumi would have immediately melted and probably gone to look for G in dark night and even apologised.

But things didn't shape that way. Singhs enjoyed sidelining Sumitra leaving her more aggravated & helpless. Now there is no way Sumi will ever like G. She will always hate her because her own family chose a 'parayi's' emotions more than her's (an insider's)

If Bhairon still understands Sumi's mental state & gives her solace, Sumi will be fine, but otherwise not.

Originally posted by: sectoreight

[DIV]</div>
<div>[/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]Very very nice point. I really feel you have nailed it. Sumitra's real issue is not Ganga or rattan singh, but the fact that she "an insider" is consistently being squelched for the sake of an "outsider". [/DIV]
[DIV]That is why she made such a strong point of calling ganga a "parayi" ladki, and not to be compared to anandi or suguna. I think anandi and suguna were just metaphors for "insider" ... and what she really meant toJagya ... "I am your apna and ganga is parayi" [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]How could this be better handled by Bhairon or Jagya? [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]I mean there doesn't seem to be any way to balance Sumitra's views and opinions along with respect for Ganga's situation. [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]For me it looks like an either/or situation. [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]Either say sumitra is right -- which means throw ganga out [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]or [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]say ganga is right -- which means push sumitra's voice down. [/DIV]
[DIV][/DIV]
[DIV]Is there a way to do both? [/DIV]

Thank you for understanding and further elaborating on this point! [:)]

Firstly Singhs need to check their tone. They can't shout at Sumitra, fume at her or treat her like a child (DS sometimes treats her concerns related to Ganga like a juvenile tantrum).

Singhs must be polite to Sumitra and say they understand she's worried for them. Then add that they have now committed to helping her and kept her at home, so they cannot go back on their word. Instead of making it more about her they should have made an issue of their word, their "izzat" and value of their "zubaan". That would still have made her more receptive to them.

Then they should have gone ahead with full focus on securing themselves from Ratan and starting all legal proceedings against him. Then assure Sumitra that once Ganga gets independent and gets all cases done against Ratan, she'll be free to "go" (ghuma phira ke keh do na).

Nobody yet knows that Ganga is in love with Jagya. Those issues are for a later stage.

For now they should also try to convince her about goodness of Ganga and how they are also indebted to her in a way that she helped Jagya recover from trauma and saved Gehna from goons.

Make it more about Jagya's promise to her and their "zubaan" than about her.

Also they can end it by saying that Ganga will be going to hostel soon for further studies so why worry if she is leaving for now anyway.

In all this they need to be tactful and polite to Sumitra.

And Sumitra deserves this treatment too because she's also tolerated everyone's idiosyncrasies politely for years. So why can't her family do the same for her if she's getting a tad hyper?

Putting her down and making her feel ashamed will only make her feel alienated in her own family and increase her hostility for Ganga (this will be worse and have more efficacy than even Sanchi filling her ears).

so high votes goes to sumi is wrong

I voted for second option as I couldn't convince myself what Sumitra did is right. Mannu is a toddler, she even didn't have soft corner for a toddler. If we have a pet in a house for 6 months, we develop a bond towards a pet. How can one give cold shoulder to a toddler?
Letting Ganga walk out of door at night with a toddler is little difficult for me to digest. So the second option 😊

Originally posted by: redapple1

I voted for second option as I couldn't convince myself what Sumitra did is right. Mannu is a toddler, she even didn't have soft corner for a toddler. If we have a pet in a house for 6 months, we develop a bond towards a pet. How can one give cold shoulder to a toddler?
Letting Ganga walk out of door at night with a toddler is little difficult for me to digest. So the second option 😊

Why do dadisa and bhairo and now her son expect Sumitra to nod like a meek cow? isnt her life important to her? why should she allow a stranger to enter her house and tie her to a pillar and threaten to kill her? what was her fault? If she decides to take some measures for her security, she becomes a villain?

How arrogant was it for Jagya to scream at his mother for a woman who left the house on her own free will with a nicely written letter addressed only to him??

Why was it only sumi's duty to stop her? Why is she being made to feel guilty for not stopping ganga?

Originally posted by: SPuja

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There is a difference in letting Ganga walk out of door at night and getting Ganga walk out of door at night, unfortunately members are considering that Sumitra asked Ganga to go out at night. As regards letting Ganga out, there were Sumi's elders- DS, Basant and Gahna (Gahna is younger than Sumi but actually she is the elder brother's wife) why everybody including those elders thinking that it was Sumi's fault? Sumi never said to throw Ganga out.