kindness or stupidity ?

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Komal

@kritikakk

Voyager

Posted: 12 years ago

#21

i reckon she shld just let it be after this, and let sachi, shekars learn themselves how dumb n stupid they have been!

besides anandi spoke to late, when she shld have just kept shut all along... but now she will get it from all sides and for all the wrong reasonings/assumptions of d shekars n maybe singhs too!

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anwesha rath

@Anurulz

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#22

frankly, anandi shud not talk much abt sachi adapting or not..if i remember well, before her wedding, she herself had told sachi tht for sum1 else, its not fair to expect me to change completely..it was wen sachi was outright rude to her, wen she had come to KB to give sum prasad..even now, anandi's attire is her pre-marriage one, and nobody at KB has told her, or expected her to change..then why the hue and cry for sachi to change..yes, there are personality changes between jagya and sachi, which all are aware of, and the shekhars seem to negate tht..all Ira ws worried for was tht jagya had two divorces (brings me to another point, were jagya-gauri technically married in the first place to get a divroce?? did they get a divorce even)

if adjustment is the only issue, then they shud let sachi and jagya fumble thru it and decide..anandi's words were harsh and the shekhars were right wen they said, she shud have spoken up earlier..they wudnt have listened, but she shud have done it earlier..everything happened quickly is a dumb excuse, she knew the issue was ongoing, wen sachi insulted khajan itself..

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libsrocks

@libsrocks

Rocker

Posted: 12 years ago

#23

Originally posted by: anu rulz
frankly, anandi shud not talk much abt sachi adapting or not..if i remember well, before her wedding, she herself had told sachi tht for sum1 else, its not fair to expect me to change completely..it was wen sachi was outright rude to her, wen she had come to KB to give sum prasad..even now, anandi's attire is her pre-marriage one, and nobody at KB has told her, or expected her to change..then why the hue and cry for sachi to change..yes, there are personality changes between jagya and sachi, which all are aware of, and the shekhars seem to negate tht..all Ira ws worried for was tht jagya had two divorces (brings me to another point, were jagya-gauri technically married in the first place to get a divroce?? did they get a divorce even)
if adjustment is the only issue, then they shud let sachi and jagya fumble thru it and decide..anandi's words were harsh and the shekhars were right wen they said, she shud have spoken up earlier..they wudnt have listened, but she shud have done it earlier..everything happened quickly is a dumb excuse, she knew the issue was ongoing, wen sachi insulted khajan itself..

I agree that Anandi should not have given the excuse that everything was happening very fast...she could have said that she did share it with Shiv but he told her to just sit and watch the drama.

Anandi is not upset that Saanchi won't change...she is upset because Singhs would never want a bahu like real Saanchi and real Saanchi would never want a sasural like Singhs...Singhs started liking Saanchi when she changed herself into what she is trying to be now...initially they just behaved cordial with her because she was Shiv's sister...i agree that one should not presume everything beforehand only but Anandi has a solid proof to justify her thinking..Saanchi's conversation with her friends...and someone who knows how stubborn Saanchi is will be fool to let things take it's own course...Saanchi is not someone to talk things out...she does not know anything about life and does not even know how to handle herself...basically Saanchi is very immature so one cannot give her the same free will to decide her life like one can to Mahi and Shiv or any adult girl of her age should be given...it's very kind (and wrong too) of Anandi to not speak out the truth about Saanchi in front of everyone...Anandi did spoke earlier when she was asked for her opinion but they did not pay any heed to it...it's Shekhars fault that they refuse to see the truth of their child and think Jagya is not worthful for Saanchi but actually it's the other way wrong...in this whole drama i think the one a most fault are Shekhars for acting so dumb and being so bad in parenting...Anandi interfered or not is not the question...the question is is this situation so difficult to manage...is their daughter so difficult to handle?...i feel whatever money Shekhars wasted in Saaanchi's education should be donated for Anandi's school or for her college project...the classic dialogue ''kaunsa pardh likhkar collector banana hai ladki ko'' is perfect for Saanchi since even Saanchi is not interested to become anything...not even a better person

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#24

Agree with anu and hooked .

She should have told earlier , i understood later is a dumb , unacceptable and lame excuse .

So she was not present at the family meeting coz she had gone out to buy a gift when the decision took place ...so ???

Was there absolutely no time between Jetsar trip the next day ?

She THOUGHT Jagya would refuse ...really ? Is that why she allowed matters to go to a very serious stage ?

The reasons were lame and unacceptable and immature ...I can understand a teenager behaving with this immaturity in handling situations but not the eldest bhabi of a house .

The Shekhars were absolutely right in firing her for not speaking up earlier .

Taking a proposal to a house is a very big and serious thing in India , it is not a dating experiment , where u break off if u don't feel like it .

Forget the Sachi is unsuitable for Jagya deduction .

Forget whether the argument that Sachi should change when she herself hasn't holds .

Even forget that it is maha embarassing for her that nanand is getting married to her ex .

Just 2 reasons suffice .

She owes it to that family to tell of what she overheard coz they went against their own blood for her and did the right thing by her .

She owes it to Jagya who took the decision of remarraige on HER advice .

There personal responsibility sets in ...a responsibility that surfaces after u wrestle with ur conscience . Its not tattling , its serious .

But she is not talking AT ALL with the Singhs and acting as if all is fine with her .

She is talking rather late with sasural .

Meanwhile Sachi's manipulations increase .

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: monamie111
anandi is in a position where she can not tell directly how saanchi is faking it...will any1 believe her if she will say so?...i doubt!...so i think so far she is handling it in sensible way only!...

and i don think anandi is woring just bcoz of saanchi's dress...but it was more about how saanchi faked it...saanchi made the singhs to believe that she will change after marriage & will wear ghaghra-choli...sumitra also expecting it from saanchi...anandi knows the singhs very well...as she said that no1 in BH shows off!...but saanchi is doing it...so there is a difference between these two mentalities...and for this only anandi is worried...

Thank you Mona for saying this.

She is the only one who is actually being sensible in this matter. Speaking only when its necessary and treading her steps carefully. If she would have spoken earlier .. which she did.. by telling Shiv that this won't work out.. shiv shushed her saying.. they cannot stop sanchi.

Then the decision was made when she was not there .. to go to singhs with rishta hoping Jagya will say no. It was done is a lot of hurry.

If she would have interfered then ,... sanchi would make more mess. And when the family caved in, without proper proof what can Anandi say at that time.

The moment she realized that Sanchi has been faking it,.. she put her foot down.. that too first approached Shiv .

If she should speak to Jagya , as some pointed out then, she will be blamed for interfering in Jagyas life as to whats her business.

Basically she is getting the rotten eggs in this whole scenario where as everyone else is just watching and doing nothing.

The real blame lies with the shekars for being so stupid about their daughters life. And then with Shiv for not reacting properly and letting things just go in its own tide, even after hearing Anandi's concerns.

He knows Jagya first hand and how the singhs are. He should know better than anyone that Sanchi and Jagya are just a no no.

Yet he chose to sit back. When husband is calm what can Anandi do. Then she is also afraid what if the in laws be like.. oh you care more about your ex than my daughter. Thats so embarrassing for her.

Did I mention I hate Shekars?

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#26

She has not put her foot down about anything . She just gave her frank opinion when matters already reached a decision and is now telling others to unravel that decision . Since she kept quiet for so long she should keep quiet even now and let matters take its course . The time for putting foot down has gone . Her whole problem has been the inability to put foot down .

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#27

A person can put their foot down and still not be recognized. And there is no need to speak when their words will have no weight.

Its not her inability it is her sensibility that she did not speak without proof. and Even now.. she does not have much to back on.

What will she say.. oh no sanchi cannot be a good DIL because she is plotting with her friends behind their back.

Shekhars will be like.. she is nadaan bachi

SInghs will be like we will change her.

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koolsadhu1000

@koolsadhu1000

Stunner

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#28

Pardon me but her words HAD weight . At the Singhs , at sasural where though Ira is unreasonable Daddu and Alok would have considered . Even Jagya gives her opinion weight . Putting a foot down is ensuring that thing does not set in motion , does not happen . Just giving an untimely opinion does not mean putting foot down . What does she expect now , her sasural people to look like idiots by going and telling the Singhs after they accepted that .er ...we have second thoughts now , now we r against it so cheerio ? It is a game , these marraige talks is it ?

She has only 2 options now

keep quiet as she kept quiet for too long and let things take their course

or privately tell Jagya what she overheard . He anyways has a bad name , is anyways disinterested in Sachi , he can call the marraige off . This way her position remains safe in sasural and the rejection comes from his side . It is very unfair that he gets a bad name in this but its the only way . Jagya listened to her and agreed to remarraige , she owes the truth to him .

Edited by koolsadhu1000 - 12 years ago

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Suchi-

@Suchi-

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 12 years ago

#29

Originally posted by: koolsadhu1000
Pardon me but her words HAD weight . At the Singhs , at sasural where though Ira is unreasonable Daddu and Alok would have considered . Even Jagya gives her opinion weight . Putting a foot down is ensuring that thing does not set in motion , does not happen . Just giving an untimely opinion does not mean putting foot down . What does she expect now , her sasural people to look like idiots by going and telling the Singhs after they accepted that .er ...we have second thoughts now , now we r against it so cheerio ? It is a game , these marraige talks is it ?

She has only 2 options now

keep quiet as she kept quiet for too long and let things take their course

or privately tell Jagya what she overheard . He anyways has a bad name , is anyways didinterested in Sachi , he can call the marraige off . This way her position remains safe in sasural and the rejection comes from his side . It is very unfair that he gets a bad name in this but its the only way . Jagya listened to her and agreed to remarraige , she owes the truth to him .

Alok would not have considered nor Daddu. IN fact it was Daddu who put it in Ira's mind to take the rishta in the first place. She would not have considered it , if Daddu would not have suggested to see how things will unfold. So no her words did NOT have weight.

Putting foot down does not necessary mean having weight as you mentioned. She is putting her foot down to back her own opinion. If someone listens or not listens that is NOt in her control.

She is in a sticky situation from day one. And she is handling it in the best way possible. I posted LONG ago that she will be receiving the dirt end of the stick. Every one blaming her and holding her responsible for mistakes they did in the first place.

Anandi the all famous and always present Punch bag.

@ Red: I am not sure why people are conveniently forgetting that she did give timely opinion. IN FACT she was the ONLY one giving timely opinion .. to Shiv to back off from this marriage from day one.

And She was the one who told Shiv about what she felt of Sanchi and Jagya even before sanchi declared. She warned against it .. so where is the untimely in this?

No matter how she approached the situation she was always put in the back. A fool is the one who puts their opinion when they know they are not being heard. Right now when things got out of hand she said the final words .. Back off.

If they do not heed to her warning its their own fault. Anandi has always been warning about this.

The true blame lies with

Sanchi

Shekars ( minus Anandi)

Singhs for not thinking about their Son

and finally

Jagya.. who actually CAN put his foot down and have a proper say. Who was expected to put his foot down and backed out.

now again he will go ahead and put his 'foot down' and call off his wedding and run after Ganga to save her.

I am sure even then Anandi will be blamed.

Once again.. Jagya does a mess and Anandi gets the heat.

As usual.

Edited by Suchi-Virmanian - 12 years ago

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anwesha rath

@Anurulz

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 12 years ago

#30

it is accepted tht whatever she does,she is going to get bashed by atleast Ira and Sachi..but the anandi we know, wud nt keep quite for those reasons..Ira had once thrown on her face, abt treating sachi like her nanad and being her bhabhi..this was her chance to do so..she backed out, in my opinion..she has gone and spoken to the wrong people at the wrong time..sumitra of all people??really?? when she is aware of the bias sumi has started developing?? why not talk directly to DS or bhairon?? and when the Khajan issue happened, she cud have herself brought the topic up in front of the family, instead of keeping mum..my issue is her bad timing..tht is all..

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